Merman's Love (Merman's Kiss, Book 4)

by Dee J. Stone

  He cups my cheek. “Cassie. How do you feel?”

  “I’m…okay.” I’m not as weak as before, but my body is still shaking.

  Damarian’s arms tighten around me. “You are so cold.”

  I bury my face in his chest, hoping the warmth from his body will transfer over to me. “Where are we?”

  He puts his arms on my waist and lowers me onto his lap, his tail curling around me. He’s no longer surrounded in water. Is he going to shift into a human? I’m about to ask when he says, “Cassie…are you certain you do not remember the events that have transpired these past two days?”

  I blink at him. He’s saying I’ve lost my memories of the past two days?

  He presses his forehead to mine. “Please, my love. It is imperative that you remember.”

  The past two days…the past two days…I have no idea.

  “You were in the ocean,” he says, his warm breath tickling my ear. I don’t know how he even has warm breath, since he’s a merman and we’re in the middle of the ocean. Actually, in a cave in the middle of the ocean that has no water. I quickly shake my head. None of this makes sense. Maybe I’m in a dream. “You fled,” Damarian continues. “Do you remember? You fled the ocean for you feared the…the…”

  “What?” I ask, staring into his wavering eyes.

  He shuts them for a few seconds before saying, “The sea serpents.”

  As soon as those two words hit my ears, the memories come flooding back. Damarian and I meeting with Kytero and Doria. The Diamond telling us how the longer I remained in the water, the more powerful the sea serpents would become. I remember how I rushed to land to get out of the water. I wanted to flee to my mom so I could be far away from the ocean and Damarian.

  Then I remember how my father tracked me down. How he threw me into a pool filled with salt water.

  I look up at him. “Am I dead?” I look around, at this tiny cave that Damarian and I are cramped in. It certainly doesn’t look like heaven. Or maybe it’s hell? Maybe I’ve been sent to hell because I’m a sea serpent and—

  I grab hold of Damarian’s shoulders. “The sea serpents. What happened? Did they rise to power? Did they invade the ocean?” I look around again. “Why are you here?” Did Damarian die, too? My heart aches at the thought. What about his family?

  Damarian places his webbed hands on either side of my cheeks. “Relax, my love.” He presses a light kiss on my forehead. “You are not dead.”

  I sigh in relief.

  “But you are not quite alive, either.”

  My head feels lightheaded and my heart starts to pound. “What? What does that mean? Not dead but not alive—”

  He wraps his arms even tighter around me, cradling me close. I breathe in his salt water smell and instantly feel safe. But I know I’m not safe. I have no idea what I am. “Damarian…”

  “I…” His voice is choked up. “I thought I lost you.” His lips softly dig into the left side of my jaw, then sweep over to the other side. My head falls back as his lips move to my throat, his hands clutching my waist. I now know for a fact that I’m not dead, because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to feel this if I was.

  “Damarian,” I moan.

  “Forgive me,” he says against my temple. “I have missed you so very much. I have worried about you and yearned for you since you fled the sea.”

  “I don’t understand. Anything.”

  “I know.” He caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers. “I will inform you on all that is occurring. But I am so overjoyed that you are in my arms. I feared I would never experience it again.”

  I turn around on his lap so that I face him and my legs straddle him. I wrap my hands around his neck and gaze into his eyes. He gazes into mine. We just sit here like this for who knows how long, the two of saying nothing but sharing so much. The love he has for me is practically flashing in neon colors, but I see so many other things in there, too. Worry, fear, uncertainty. I wish I could tell him that everything will be okay because we’re together in each other’s arms, but I have no idea where I am or who I am or what’s going on.

  After what feels like hours but is probably no more than ten minutes, Damarian brings his hand to my other cheek and strokes it. “Cassie, what I am about to tell you…it is not pleasant.”

  A lump forms in my throat. I take a deep breath and let it out. I can handle whatever he’s about to tell me. He and I have been through so much, and I know we can overcome any obstacle thrown our way.

  “I’m ready,” I tell him.

  His hands slide down to my arms, where he massages them. “You are a sea serpent, Cassie.”

  Chapter Six

  It feels like the ceiling and walls of this tiny cave are closing in on me. “Sea serpent? I’m a…”

  That must mean it worked. My father tossed me into the pool filled with sea water and they transformed. All because of me.

  Tears well up in my eyes and spill down my cheeks.

  Damarian pulls me to his chest. “Please do not cry, my love.”

  “T-tell me everything, Damarian. You need to tell me.”

  I feel him nod against my head. Gently, he pushes me back so he can look into my face. “I swam after you when you fled the sea. But you were so quick. I could not reach you. I saw Leah pull you onto the vessel. I tried calling for you, but you closed your mind from me.”

  I nod. I did that because I needed to protect Damarian and his people. I thought it would be safer if I lost access to his power.

  “I waited in the sea,” Damarian tells me. “In the hopes that you would return. I waited for a day. I felt you were in distress and I swam to land, begging my body to shift into a human so I could locate you. But I could not shift.” He bends forward to kiss my nose. “I had no choice but to return to the sea. Father sent the Guards to bring me home to the colony. Doria had returned with Kytero and informed Father and the others of all they had learned.” He swallows. “I did not wish to swim to the colony, for I hoped you would return. But I no longer felt you in my heart. I…” He swallows again. “I did not understand. I was so worried and confused…and then I felt…” He shakes his head as tears fill his eyes. Because he’s not in water, they drip down his face.

  I touch his cheek. “It’s okay. You can stop if you want.”

  He shakes his head again. “I felt as though I had lost my mate.”

  His words cause more tears to enter my eyes and flow down my cheeks. Merpeople mate for life, and if someone dies, his or her mate feels it. It’s so heartbreaking and it feels like they’re going to die themselves. Some merpeople find it unbearable to live on without their mates, like Damarian’s grandfather. If Damarian felt the loss of his mate…does that mean I really am dead?

  “It was so painful,” Damarian says. “I did not know I could feel such anguish.” His hands tighten on my waist as he raises me to give me a strong, passionate kiss. Then he lowers me back on his lap and lays his forehead against mine. “My Cassie. How much joy I feel to hold you in my arms again.”

  My hands tangle in his hair. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”

  “No. Please do not apologize.” He brings his lips to my face and kisses my eyes, then my nose and lips. “Forgive me. I just missed you so.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” I tell him. “Kiss me all you want. Please kiss me all you want.”

  That gets a small smile out of him, though it’s strained. He takes my hand and rests it on his cheek. “Father informed me of two possibilities. That the sea serpents had…had killed you. Or that you were transformed.” He rubs his arm across his eyes. “He told me that either way, you were…gone.” He lowers my hand from his face and slides his into it. “I knew the sea serpents would not kill you. The manner in which your father spoke to you when we were captured made me believe that he wished you to be part of them. That provided me with the hope that you were not lost. I pledged I would seek you. I pledged I would not abandon hope until you were in my arms once again.”
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  I throw my arms around his middle, squeezing him as hard as I can and pressing my lips to his chest. I love this merman so, so much. He wasn’t willing to give up on me. I mean, I have no idea what state I’m in, alive or dead, in this world or another, but Damarian didn’t give up on me. “I love you,” I say.

  “I love you, my sweet Cassie. More than anyone could imagine.” He kisses the top of my head. “More than even I could imagine,” he whispers.

  After a few seconds, I lift my head and look into his face. “So I transformed into a sea serpent.”

  He nods. “They’ve…they’ve invaded the sea.”

  Even though I should have anticipated this, I’m not ready for my reaction. It feels like someone punched me in my chest with an iron fist. My breathing gets heavy and my body falls back, the area around me spinning. The sea serpents invaded the ocean. All because of me.

  Damarian’s hands are on my back, holding me in place so I don’t crash to the ground and break my spine. “Cassie,” he murmurs. “It is all right, my love.”

  My face is back on his chest, my tears soaking his skin. “What…what happened?” I ask, my whole body trembling. I don’t want to hear his answer, but I know I have to.

  “They rendezvoused with the rebels and have attacked the colony.” I know he meant to say that as calmly as possible, but there’s no hiding the pain and utter fear in his voice. “We have been at war for quite a few hours.”

  More tears splash down my cheeks, so intense I can hardly see anything. Damarian rubs them away with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry, Damarian. I didn’t mean…I—”

  “I do not hold you accountable.” His hand strokes my hair. “Please do not fret.”

  “But the only way they could have entered the ocean and attacked the colony was because of me. Because I took your power and transferred it to them and—”

  “It is not your fault, my love. Please do not put the blame on yourself.”

  I don’t care what he says—I am to blame for all of this. I know my father was the one who forced me into the pool, but maybe I could have done something. I ran away to land and hid out in that beach house with Leah. I should have known my dad would be able to track me down. I should have rushed to the airport and taken the next available flight to…anywhere. To a state that is not near the water. My mermaid side would have eventually needed me to get into the ocean, but maybe I should have allowed myself to die. I should have done something.

  “And me?” I ask. “Did I…did I attack the colony, too?” I grab his arms. “Did the sea serpents win? Is that why you’re here with me? Wherever here is…”

  “We believe you are one of the sea serpents attacking the colony. For one of them heals the others. We believe it is you.” He lowers his eyes to the ground. “It is virtually impossible to kill them when they are constantly being healed.”

  I can’t bear to hear any more of this. I can’t bear to learn what destruction I’m causing. But I need to push aside my feelings and focus on the facts and learn all that I can. So I can…what exactly? I still don’t even know where I am. Or who I am.

  “Are you fighting?” I ask Damarian.

  He shakes his head. “I cannot risk being captured and killed. For if they do…”

  “They’ll take your power.”

  He nods.

  “So you’re…here? Where exactly is here?”

  Damarian takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “That is the next part of what I am to tell you.”

  My stomach gets queasy. But I push everything aside and ask Damarian to continue.

  “Ever since I arrived back in the colony, I attempted to communicate with you. I believed in my heart that you were not gone and that I would be able to reach you. But I could not. Father claimed it was useless, that I was wasting my energy on a fantasy. But you are my mate, Cassie, the one who has captured my mind, heart, body, and soul. I knew you were alive, my love. I knew.”

  “Or not dead or alive,” I mumble.

  Damarian takes my hand and sandwiches it between his. “I did not give up. I attempted and attempted, using every fiber in my being. And one time, I penetrated what held you captive. I felt you in my heart.” He touches his chest. “I heard your voice in my head.”

  Hazy memories start coming back to me. My merman calling my name as I was in a deep sleep. I’m starting to see now that I wasn’t dreaming.

  “So…where exactly am I being held captive?” I gesture to the area. “Where exactly are we?”

  “We are in your mind, my love.”

  “My mind?” I think back to when Damarian and I went into my mind to try to fight off the sea serpent inside me. It lurked in the shadows because it was still weak. Bile rises in my throat. “I’m…in the shadows now. The sea serpent is dominant.”

  Damarian nods. “That is the reason you are so cold. Sea serpents have a very cold temperature.”

  “So the sea serpent inside me broke through and pushed me into the background. I didn’t die. Not really. I was just…replaced.” Which I guess is sort of like dying, since the real me ceases to exist.

  “It is my belief…” His voice cracks. “It is my belief that you are slowly dying. You have not died instantly because of our bond. But you are growing weaker and weaker…”

  Not alive and not dead, but slowly dying. My heart hammers in my head, once again making me feel lightheaded. “So…you managed to get into my head?”

  Damarian rubs the back of his head. “I did not make much progress at first. It was as though there was a wall of rock around you. I knew…” He swallows hard. “I knew it was imperative that I gain more energy. That is the reason I decided…” His eyes search mine, his eyebrows pinched in worry.

  “What?” I ask as gently as I can, though my insides are bursting with curiosity and a desperate need to know what he’s so scared to tell me.

  He looks away from me. “I knew it was imperative that I take the throne and gain more power.”

  Chapter Seven

  I gape at him. “You took the throne? But…”

  He lays his hand over mine. “I know how dangerous this is. If the sea serpents capture me…if they kill me...” He closes his arms around me and tucks me close to his body. “I could not lose you, my love. Father, Kiander, and Flora attempted to halt me, but I am the true heir. There was nothing they could do.”

  “Damarian.” I sob against his chest. “You shouldn’t have risked the safety of your people. You should have just killed me. Maybe killing me would weaken the sea serpents. Maybe I’m the glue that holds them together.”

  He shakes his head. “No, you do not understand. The reason I took the throne was not only to locate you. It is the only manner in which we can kill the sea serpents.”

  I lift my face off his chest. “Because taking the throne will make you stronger.”

  “But I cannot be powerful unless I have my mate by my side.”

  “You don’t know that. You should kill me, Damarian. Leave my mind and tell the Guards and sharks to target me. Me and only me. They’re probably growing much stronger now because they’re getting the power from me. Once I’m dead—”

  He puts his finger on my lips. “There is no assurance that the sea serpents will weaken with your death. If we kill you, I will no longer have access to the full power of the true king.” He rests his cheek against mine. “And I could never kill you, my love. You are the most significant being in my life. I would sooner kill myself.”

  I untangle myself from his arms and scoot over until I’m a few inches away from him. The place is so cramped that it’s impossible to put distance between us. I just need to think. I spin around until I face my back to him and stare at the cave wall. Pushing my knees to my chest, I loop my arms around them and rest my cheek on my knees. The rags I’m wearing barely cover much of my legs. The tears seep into my skin.

  Sea serpent. One of my greatest fears has come true. When my father told me it was inevitable that I would turn into a sea serpent,
a part of me hoped it wasn’t true. I hoped I’d have the willpower and strength to fight it. I hoped the eternal bond I had with Damarian would prevail over everything. But I don’t even remember changing into a sea serpent. The last thing I remember is my father and the others tossing me into the pool. The human me is locked somewhere in the recesses of my mind while this monster destroys the people I love. Because of me, the merpeople are dying. Because of me, Damarian was forced to take the throne. Now his life is in even more danger. I mean, the sea serpents have to know that he took the throne—they should feel an immense amount of power. Maybe they’re trying to locate him right now.

  I look back at Damarian. “Where’s your body?”

  “In Eteria. I am being guarded by many children of the sea.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Have there been many deaths?”

  He doesn’t say anything. I don’t want to open my eyes because I can’t bear to see the expression on his face. Of course there have been many deaths, or else Damarian wouldn’t have taken the throne. Damn my father and the stupid sea serpents. Damn me for letting all this happen.

  “Cassie.”

  I reluctantly open my eyes. Damarian rests his hands on the ground and heaves his body closer to me. He’s out of water, but he’s not shifting to a human. Well, I guess it’s possible the rules are different in my head. Or maybe this is because of the poison I gave him when he and I mated—that he and the other merpeople are unable to change into humans.

  He closes his hand around my wrist. “Cassie, we need to subdue the sea serpent that has taken over your body.”

  “But how? We couldn’t fight her off the last time we tried, and she’s as strong as hell now. Not to mention she’s got the strength of all the other sea serpents.”

  “But we possess the power of the true king.”

  I grab the sides of my head. “You have no idea what this feels like, Damarian. To know your mind and body have been taken over by this…this monster and you’re powerless to do anything. I don’t know if I can fight her, even with your power. I’m stuck in this tiny cave while she’s out there forcing me to kill your family and friends!” I cover my face and sob.