Merman's Love (Merman's Kiss, Book 4)
Page 14
I return the hug. “I am, thanks.” As much as I want to remain in his arms, I can’t. I reluctantly untangle his arms from around me and face Ryter. “What do we do?”
His eyes flick to Jace for a second before returning to mine. “I do not believe there is another solution.”
“Then kill me.”
“Cassie.” Damarian takes hold of my shoulders. “Not again.”
I shrug him off. “You heard what your grandfather said.”
“But Cassie—”
“Jace needs to be killed or else he’ll be a constant threat to you and the children of the sea. Who knows what he’ll do if he regains his strength? We have no idea what a sea serpent is capable of. And because there’s a sea serpent inside me…” Now I grab his shoulders. “We need to kill him now.”
He looks into my face, and I see how sad his eyes are. It causes me to break contact and turn my head. I can’t stand to see him hurting. He puts his hand underneath my chin and raises it so I’m forced to gaze into his eyes. “Cassie, you are my mate, my love. I wish to be with you for all eternity. We are nearly victorious in this war and can live in peace. I cannot bear to lose you.” His voice is choked up.
I put my hands on his face and move closer to him, so close our noses touch. “You’re the king of the children of the sea. It’s your duty to protect every single one of them.”
“It is my duty to protect you as well, for you are a child of the sea. And my mate.”
I shake my head. “I’m not really a mermaid. I can live my life on land and never step tail in here again. But you can’t live peacefully in the ocean when there’s a sea serpent lurking below.” He opens his mouth but I put my finger on his lips. “I’m one person, Damarian. Just one person.”
“But you are the most important being in my life.”
I shake my head, knowing there are tears in my eyes but not feeling them. “You have your family. You have your kingdom, I mean, if you decide to stay being the king.”
“Cassie, enough with this nonsense.” He moves away from me, causing my hands to drop to my sides, and faces Ryter. “I do not know if you are deceiving us, but if there is a chance—any chance—I can save my mate, I order you to tell me this instant.”
Ryter doesn’t say anything, though I swear I see the blood boil under his skin.
“Please,” Damarian pleads, his voice no longer authoritative but desperate. “Grandfather, she is my mate. You have lost your mate and understand the heartache and devastation. Is it your wish that I have the same fate?”
Ryter’s face is still cold. Then it fills with sorrow. “No, my grandson. That is not my wish.” He looks at Syren. “It is not my wish for the ones I love to suffer what I have endured.” He turns back to Damarian, to me. “But there is no other solution.”
“There is always another solution.” Damarian grabs both my arms and yanks me closer to him. His energy enters mine, but it’s rougher. No, rough isn’t the right word. It’s desperation and love.
I black out.
Chapter Nineteen
I open my eyes and survey my surroundings. We’re in the ocean, but it’s a different kind of ocean. It looks very familiar. Then it hits me. We’re in my mind.
Damarian floats next to me. Our hands clasp. “What’s going on?” I ask.
“I do not know. But I must try.”
I’m about to ask what he means, when he tightens his hold on me and swims deeper into the ocean, pulling me along. Unlike the last time I was here, the area has a more cheerful appearance. Damarian leads us even deeper, until we come face to face with a cave on the ocean floor. One that has bars on the entrance.
I grip his hand. “Damarian, what are you doing?”
He stares at the bars, a mix of emotions on his face. Confusion, hope, and despair, but they are all dwarfed by determination. He advances toward the cave.
I pull him back. “No! We can’t go back to her.”
“We must, my love. We must sever the connection between the two of you.”
“But we might risk her getting out. It’s too dangerous.”
He lets go of my hand and heads to the cave.
I dash after him and grab his hand. “Damarian, please! I can’t let you put all the children of the sea’s lives at risk because of me.”
“Cassie, I must!”
“You don’t even know if you can sever the connection!”
He turns around slowly, and I see how sad his eyes are. It makes my heart cry for him, for hurting him this way, but I can’t think about me now.
“Damarian…”
He puts his hands on my waist and draws me toward his chest. “You do not know how much you mean to me,” he whispers against my ear. “You do not understand how much love I have for you. You do not understand how I nearly perished when I was unable to reach you after you fled the sea.” His hand closes over the back of my head as he pushes my face to his chest. “Please, Cassie.”
My throat dries up. “Of course I know how much I mean to you. You mean just as much.”
“How would you react if the roles were reversed? If it was my life…”
I shut my eyes. No, I can’t think of that. If something were to happen to Damarian…I don’t think I’d be able to move on. I mean, I know that may sound a little pathetic, but we have such a strong bond and have been through so much together. If he’s no longer part of my life…
I look up at him. “I understand. But I don’t know what to do. We have to kill Jace so that the ocean can be safe again. It’s not about me or you anymore. It’s about the children of the sea and every single creature in the ocean.”
He rests his forehead against mine. “I know. Every part of me is in pain. I cannot save one without losing the other.” His voice is so choked he almost swallows the end of his sentence.
“I’m just so scared we’ll screw everything up. After such a big war, after all those lives that were lost…” I bite my lip.
I feel his body deflate. He presses his cheek to mine as his hand rubs circles on my back. We float in the water for a bit, with Damarian’s lips skimming different parts of my face and neck. I can’t feel tears in the ocean, but I know my face is covered with them.
“I’ll…” I clear my throat. “I’ll agree to this on only one condition.”
Damarian gently pushes me back so he can look into my eyes.
“If Cassila escapes, promise me you’ll help me kill her.”
“Cassie—”
“I’m tired and weak. We both are. The war has taken such a toll on our bodies.” I glance back at the cave. “She’s been there all this time. I know she’s weak, too, but she might regain her strength. She can overtake me.” I focus my attention back on Damarian. “If she links up with Jace, they’ll grow even stronger. We might undo all we’ve achieved.”
Damarian shuts his eyes as a heavy sigh leaves his mouth. “I cannot promise you, Cassie.”
I cup his cheek. “You’re the king of the children of the sea now. A king needs to think about his subjects before himself.” I swallow. “A king makes sacrifices for the good of his people.”
Damarian sighs again. “I know. That is why I am not fit to rule.”
“You are. You’re the true king.”
“Would Kiander risk Flora’s life?”
“I don’t know.”
“What of my father? Would he sacrifice Mother?”
I shake my head because I have no idea. I definitely would not put Damarian’s life at risk. Or would I? If it means saving my people?
He lowers his forehead on mine. “This sucks.”
That doesn’t even bring a smile to my face. Human Damarian…how long has it been? This might be the end.
“Promise, Damarian.”
He shakes his head.
I remove his arms from around me and swim to a secluded area where I can be alone and collect my thoughts. I find a large piece of stone and lower myself on it, curling my tail around me. Damarian doesn’t follow me
, but I feel him. He’s at the spot I left him, buried in his own thoughts.
I know this is asking a lot—to kill the person who means the most to him. I don’t blame him for entering my mind so we could try to do…I don’t even know what he plans. But I don’t think I can risk the sea serpent coming out. Not unless Damarian promises he’ll kill her if we fail to find a way to sever my connection with her.
I can’t remain here for long because we have no idea what’s going on out there. We can’t risk Jace growing stronger. If Damarian does free Cassila from the cave, we can’t let Jace infuse her with his energy. I get up from the stone and swim toward Damarian. I find him swimming toward me. When he sees me, he stops and gives me a sad smile. “We are pressed for time. We must make a decision.”
“What did you decide?”
“I believe there are only two options. We leave your mind and kill Jace, killing you as well.” He winces.
“And the other?” I ask impatiently.
“We free the sea serpent and attempt to sever your connection. If we cannot…” He opens his mouth and closes it. Opens it and closes, his eyes avoiding me.
“Say it, Damarian.”
He lifts his gaze to mine. “Then I will have no option but to kill her, thus killing you as well.” He swallows. “I must choose the second option.”
Even though I wanted him to say this, it feels like a slap in the face. As though he’s betraying me. I shake it off. “That’s the right choice.”
A hard swallow makes its way down his throat.
“Do we have to free her from there?” I ask, nodding toward the cave.
He shrugs helplessly. “I do not know.”
I gulp in some water through my gills, my chest expanding, and then let it seep out. “We…we should say goodbye. In case.”
Damarian shakes his head.
My stomach twists. “You don’t want to say goodbye?”
“You are not leaving me.”
“Damarian.” I swim over and take his face in my hands. “Whatever happens, it will be okay.”
He tries to free his face, but I hold tight.
“It will be okay. Okay?”
“You cannot promise me all will be all right, when you are…when you wish to…” His voice cracks, and this time I let him pull away. He covers his face and sinks toward the bottom of the ocean.
I wrap my arms from behind him and press my face into the back of his neck. “Think about how much we mean to each other,” I say softly. “Think about how much you love me and how you would do anything for me. Think of how much you love your family and your people. Think about what kind of future you want to have, one where I am in it and we live on both land and the ocean. In peace.” I kiss his neck. “Cassila doesn’t understand what that means. We need to focus on that, and maybe we’ll be able to cut her off from me. She can’t compete with our love.”
He nods slowly.
“We don’t have much time.”
He turns around and pulls me onto his lap, my tail wrapping around his. Putting his hands on my waist, he moves his face to mine, so slow like he’s savoring every second. I close my eyes as I anticipate the feeling of his warm lips on mine. It’s been forever since we’ve kissed—actually, the last time was in here, when Damarian woke up my human side. That wasn’t technically real, since it took place in my head, and I guess it’s not real now, either. But I want this to feel as real as possible. Because it might be the last.
When his lips finally touch mine, they are so light it’s as though he’s rubbing a feather against my mouth. I want to grab the back of his head and smash his face closer to mine, to drink in as much of him as possible. To kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until reality dissipates and we’re transported to our own private island, where I don’t have a monster inside me that threatens the lives of the love of my life, his people, his home. Where all that matters is that we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. Where we don’t have to say goodbye.
But as much as I want to kiss his lips off, I need to relish every single second of the moment we’re about to share. Because while I might not remember this—whether due to Cassila taking over, or my death—I want to give Damarian the best parting gift in the world. If I die, he won’t be able to choose anyone else because merpeople mate for life. I know he’ll live with my memories for the rest of his life. I want him to remember that at one point in his life, he had someone who loved him to the ends of the earth, to the deepest of waters. I want him to remember the time he washed up on shore and woke up in the house of a human girl. That she did everything she could to help him return to his home in the ocean. I want him to remember how much he missed her, which was bizarre because he and the girl only spent a few hours together. I want him to remember how he fell hard and fast for her, and how she fell just as hard and fast. I want him to remember how much the girl who loved him to death risked her life for him and his people.
“Damarian,” I whisper.
My name is swallowed as I cover his mouth with mine. My hands grip his shoulders then slide down to rest on his chest as he gathers me closer in his arms, his movement so desperate that he nearly loses his balance. But I guess I’m even more desperate than him because I kiss him with so much passion that I topple over him, my lips never leaving his, just moving eagerly. His hands dig into my waist, though not hard enough to hurt me.
“Cassie,” he pants between kisses. “My sweet Cassie.” His lips move from mine and rest on my temple. “The one I have so much love for.”
I turn my head to kiss him again, but he holds my face and stares into mine. “This is not goodbye, my love. I refuse it to be so.”
“Just shut up and kiss me. Please.”
It doesn’t take him more than a second to comply. He presses his lips to mine, a little more roughly, but he’s not hurting me. The love he has for me wraps around me, and I feel like I’m being lifted in the air. As though I died and have gone to heaven.
We roll around on the ocean floor as our lips practically swallow up each other’s. Damarian’s trail down my neck, so soft and gentle, but it makes my body explode with the most amazing feeling I’ve ever felt before. A moan escapes my mouth and I throw my head back.
I grab his shoulders and flip us around so that I’m on top of him. I sweep my lips down his chest, loving the way his head falls back and his eyes flutter shut. I brush kisses all over his face and chest, making sure not to spare any skin. His eyes remain closed and his breathing is heavy, his gills expanding and contracting uncontrollably. For a second, I worry I might be hurting him, but then his eyes open a bit and I see they hold nothing but fire. I lie down on him, resting my head in the space between his neck and shoulder, breathing in his salt water Damarian smell. I know we’re in the ocean and everything smells and tastes like salt water, but he has a unique scent that makes me feel loved and protected.
Both our chests heave as we wait for our breathing to get under control. “Don’t miss me too much,” I whisper.
“No, do not have such thoughts. We will sever the link between you and the sea serpent and you shall be free.” He lifts my webbed hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. “And then I shall kiss you properly.”
Despite the situation, I can’t help but raise an eyebrow. “Are you saying you didn’t enjoy this make out session?”
He caresses my cheek. “Of course I enjoyed it, but…”
“I know. It’s not real. I wanted to make it special. Memorable. Because…because…” I can’t finish my sentence.
“Cassie, do not have such thoughts. We need to be strong.”
I swallow and am about to tell him that I don’t mean to sound so helpless and defeated, but suddenly the entire ocean shakes as though there’s an earthquake. The water tilts, and Damarian and I slide down deeper into the ocean. The area continues to shake, making the water all bubbly and hard to see in. My arms thrash around as I try to make sense of what’s happening. Is it Cassila? Damn, did sh
e somehow manage to escape the cave while Damarian and I were busy making out?
“Damarian!” I try to call out, but the unsteady ocean muffles my voice. My chest feels tight, making it difficult to breathe. Can a mermaid drown in the ocean?
Damarian’s arms wrap around me and pull me close to his body. “Cassie!” he calls.
“What’s going on? Is it Cassila?”
“No, she is still in the cave!” he shouts. “But I believe Jace is attempting to access her. Your mind is attempting to prevent his entry.”
We shouldn’t have lowered our guard. We should have been alert all this time.
“We must sever the connection this instant!” he calls.
“Okay!”
Even though we’re tumbling in the ocean, he keeps his arms secured tightly around me. I have no idea what he’s doing because I can’t see anything, but I feel something weird going on in my body. It’s like Damarian is reaching so deep he touches my soul. I feel his, too. And while we’ve linked our minds many times in the past, we’ve never been this connected before. I know what’s in his head, what he’s thinking. He has no clue what he’s doing, but what he does know is that he loves me more than he’s ever loved anyone else in his whole life. And he’ll be damned if he’ll let anything happen to me.
The ocean stops shaking. The area is so quiet I can hear my heart pounding. When I glance at Damarian, I see that he’s bathed in a dark, silver light. The same surrounds me. His eyes are lit up, and I know mine are as well.
There’s something behind us. I know there is. Simultaneously, Damarian and I slowly turn around. We come face to face with Cassila.
Chapter Twenty
She looms over us in her ten-foot frame, a menacing yet amusing glint in her eyes. She bares her fangs and hisses.
How did she get out? My heart starts to race wildly, making me feel lightheaded. If we can’t fight her off this time…