Matilda Wren

by When Ravens Fall

  Rachel thought about the many summer barbeques herself, Greg and Adam had spent in that garden and how Greg would chase Adam around the washing line, while Pauline fretted about there being no room for games like that and that Adam would get hurt. She smiled at the memories of laughter and burnt sausages. The hickory-smoke filled evenings of traditional family time.

  It was her first experience, never having anything like that herself. Jimmy and Pauline had welcomed her and Adam into their fold and showed her what it should have been like. She would always be grateful for that, for the love they had shown her and Adam. For a brief moment she wished it was different; that she could love their son, the way he had loved her.

  Footsteps interrupted her thoughts and she turned to see Greg’s brother standing behind her. Matthew was four years older than Greg but they looked like twins. It was uncanny.

  When she had first seen him at the funeral, it had taken her a few moments to register it wasn’t Greg. Their eyes and jaw line were almost identical; a few creases around Matthew’s mouth were the only signs that gave away the difference.

  He smiled at her but his eyes didn’t quite meet hers. He looked awkward. His hand reached out to her, offering her own jacket.

  “I thought you might be cold. You have been out here a while now.”

  Rachel shook her head. “I’m not cold. I was just remembering the summers out here…” Her voice trailed off, as the gripping pain tightened itself around her chest once more.

  “You mean before you broke my brother’s heart and he was murdered.”

  The words fell out of his mouth with a malice that shook Rachel to the core. She stared at him in disbelief. She wasn’t sure how to respond.

  Matthew smiled at her again and Rachel realised this time that the first smile had been just as dry. He hadn’t come out to check on her, he had come out to have a go at her.

  “Bit of a coincidence, don’t you think? Six months ago you and Greg were happy as Larry and then in walks your old gangster boyfriend. Within days, you’re shacked up with him and my brother’s dead.” Matthew stepped a little closer to Rachel, blocking her path back to the house. His six foot two frame obstructed her view of the patio doors, hindering anybody inside the conservatory to see the altercation taking place in the garden.

  “I… I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at Matt. Sean and I have nothing to do with what happened to Greg. It was a robbery that went wrong.”

  Matthew nodded. “That’s what the police said too.”

  “Matt, what is this? I know you’re upset and angry but this isn’t my fault.” Rachel reasoned. She didn’t like the way he was looking at her. His face was screwed up into a disparaged sneer and his eyes told her he knew more than what he was saying.

  “I told him not to go near you years ago, but he wouldn’t listen. I told him you were damaged goods, but he reckoned he could fix you. I don’t like things that are broken. They just aren’t the same afterwards.”

  Rachel was astounded by Matthew’s sudden attack on her. There had never been any animosity between them before.

  “Matt, I know you’re upset, we all are…” She tried to reason with him, but he just cut her off again.

  “You have no idea just how upset I am.” He moved even closer to her. Rachel could smell the whisky that permeated from his breath. “It’s funny; you should have said you were up for taking on other men. I would have had a go. Greg said you could be a right go-er.”

  “Get the fuck off me.” She spat out at him, pushing Matthew away from her as hard as she could. Her strength surprised him.

  “There she is; the tramp with the sewer mouth. I knew she was in there somewhere.”

  Rachel stared at him for a long moment. “What is wrong with you? This is Greg’s funeral.”

  She went to walk round him but he caught her wrist as she passed, pulling her into his strong arms. To anybody that was watching from the inside, it looked like a comforting embrace between two grieving family members.

  “Fergus had something to do with Greg’s murder. I know he did.”

  Rachel struggled herself free of him. It took all her strength to do so and she had to step back a few paces to steady herself. She wouldn’t look at Matthew. She couldn’t meet his eye.

  “There was a reason you ran from him in the first place.

  You saw what I see now. I know you did.” Suddenly, the nastiness was gone from his face and it was replaced by an urgent and imperative need for her to agree.

  Rachel slapped Matthew as hard as she could round his cheek. Snatching her jacket out of his hand, she walked back into the house, leaving him outside in the garden. She didn’t know or care if anybody had seen; she just needed to get out as soon as she could. She felt suffocated by the guilt and thoughts that were running through her mind.

  She tried to push everything out of her head. As soon as she was back with Sean and Adam, her perspective would become clear again. Matthew had startled her and thrown her mind into chaos. Rachel left Jimmy and Pauline’s, almost immediately after. She wouldn’t allow her mind to fester any further, on the poison that Matthew had tried to inject.

  * * *

  Rachel reminded herself she loved Sean more thananything. She always had. He had been her rock. Even when he had received the phone call about Maisy, he hadn’t crumbled. He was strong, in mind and in soul. Rachel felt so comforted by it; that he could cope with anything that was thrown their way. It made her believe they would survive. He made them strong and he would protect her from anything.

  Somewhere, out of all the recent tragedy, something good was going to come of it all. She was sure of it.

  Sean wasn’t feeling strong though, he was beginning to lose the plot, if he was honest. He was desperately trying to hold everything together but it was all unravelling about him. He was incensed at what Maisy had done; enraged at her nerve. Taking Katie with her was a slight for him. It was personal, he knew that.

  Maisy was telling him she had won in the end. She had got one over on him and taken away all he ever truly cared about; power and control. The saving grace for Sean was that she was dead, which meant nobody would ever know the truth. Even so, she had taken with her that beautiful little girl, who had put sunlight into his world. He would have throttled his sister’s bare neck if she wasn’t already departed.

  It had almost finished him off, having to play the bereaved brother and son. It was an emotion that was alien to him and he surprised himself, at how well he managed to keep up the pretence. Now it was taking its toll though.

  Sean wasn’t sure at all how much longer he could keep it all together.

  His sister’s death had affected him more than he realised it could. Killing Greg was a means to an end and it had worked. Rachel had let him swoop in and play the hero to her and Adam. He had become intricately engaged into Adam’s life almost immediately and Rachel was too absorbed in grief to think, or see things for what they were.

  Sean’s plan was coming together and then Maisy went and pulled a stunt like that, which in turn took his parents out too. Sean only had Alice left and they hardly spoke to one another. Alice hadn’t even turned up for their mother’s funeral. She had sent a note with some flowers, explaining she didn’t see the point in making two trips down to Essex and that she would see everybody at Maisy and Katie’s.

  Like it was some kind of family gathering she was excusing herself from.

  They couldn’t all be buried at once due to the nature of the deaths. Maureen’s body had been released first, so they had to have two separate funerals. They had hardly exchanged two words to each other when they met; although Alice was secretly impressed with her brother’s house.

  Whatever way he had made his money, he had certainly invested it wisely. She was also impressed with the relationship he seemed to have with his girlfriends’ son. She watched them in the church, during the service. Sean had scarcely taken any notice of the proceedings and seemed more occupied in entertaining the
boy.

  It was the same during the wake, back at his. Everybody was milling around quietly, sombrely; while Sean was running round the garden with Adam on his shoulders, pretending to be an aeroplane. The scene took her back, to a time where it was Maisy being entertained. Alice shivered as she felt a dark potent awareness came over her. It never felt right, the attention he frittered away on her sister. There was something unnatural and twisted about it. It wasn’t that Alice was jealous; she definitely didn’t want or require the same interest. She knew it was wrong.

  It dawned on Alice she didn’t know half the people at her sister and niece’s funeral, there were a few odd family members, not many, but the rest were there for Sean she guessed. She didn’t know it for sure, but suspected she was sharing the room with some of South East England’s finest criminal masterminds; all there to show respect and loyalty to Sean.

  As much as she was disgusted with the whole idea of her brother, she had to begrudgingly admire him for his success.

  The missing presence of her father vibrated the room and Alice felt sadness at the tattered disaster her family was.

  She and Sean were the only ones left; they only had each other now. It was a sobering thought.

  Alice always believed she didn’t belong to her family.

  Even as a child, she pretended she was adopted. Her sister was a complete nut job and the devil possessed sociopath her brother developed into, only gave her more reasons to believe she really didn’t belong; their lives incompatible with each others.

  Alice thought very highly of herself and despised her humble beginnings. The humiliated shame she felt, of her council estate childhood, was obvious to anyone that took the time to scratch her surface.

  She believed she was worth more than her brother and her sister. Why should she just accept what life handed out to her. In her mind, she was entitled to the life she had now created for herself, judging herself better than them. She had gone to college and gained qualifications.

  She now worked for a top solicitors firm in London, their offices a short walk from The Gherkin and she was about to marry into one of the wealthiest families in the country.

  Her engagement had been covered by Hello magazine; a two-page spread detailing her upcoming nuptials to one of England’s most eligible bachelors.

  The very fact she had to leave her idealic life and be reminded of where she came from, who she was related to, infuriated her; bound by a sense of duty to pay her respects.

  Truth was, she had no respect for her family. Respect is earned, not automatic.

  She had not been looking forward to telling her parents she did not want them at her wedding, so recent events were a saving grace. She still had to tell her brother though. That was something she really wasn’t looking forward to; his reaction when he found out that her fiancé’s brother would be giving her away.

  Alice sensed someone behind her, assuming it was her fiancé Ben, she paused a while longer, watching Sean and Adam frolicking. It wasn’t until she heard the female voice that she spun round to face Rachel, standing in the doorway of the imposing and luxurious open-plan kitchen.

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make you jump.” She spoke again.

  “It’s okay. I was just lost in my thoughts there for a while.” A half smile, half awkward grimace worked its way over her mouth.

  Rachel stepped into the room a little further and looked beyond Alice, who stood at the window that gave view to an impressive manicured lawn. She saw Adam, standing on the stone wall that lined the decked path, leading down to the garden. He was fearlessly throwing himself off; the confidence evident that he knew Sean would catch him.

  Rachel smiled at the scene.

  Alice clocked the puppy-dog look on her face. “He is good with him?” The question was hidden.

  “Yes he is.” Rachel nodded in agreement. “To be honest, I don’t think Adam and I would have got through the last month without him.”

  Alice resisted the urge to scoff at the praise of her brother. She watched Rachel for a few seconds, absorbing the sentiment the woman obviously represented. She felt a fearful anxiety low down in the pit of her stomach; not quite sure why, but it was enough to make her act on it.

  She reached Rachel within a few strides; the urgency with which she seized hold of her and spun her round, put her off guard.

  “You do know he’s not who he makes out to be… Don’t you?”

  Rachel wasn’t sure of the question, or whether Alice really wanted an answer. She narrowed her eyes and slightly tilted her head.

  “You see it, don’t ya…? That hollowness in his eyes?”

  Alice’s controlled voice wavered slightly, the Essex twang rearing through on certain words.

  All those elocution lessons Ben’s family insisted she took, rapidly letting her down. She silently cursed herself that she allowed all the hard and sometimes painful work to be undone; immediately blaming Sean for the speech downfall. She felt Rachel try to tug herself free of her tight grasp but saw the quick flicker of acknowledgement, before she showed a feigned confusion. Loosening her grip, she let Rachel back away.

  Before any more could be said between the two women, Sean and Adam crashed through the heavy oak door that led out into the garden; the little boy whishing past his mother and through the kitchen at top speed, excitedly yelling at Sean to follow.

  “I promised him a re-match at that football game he loves.”

  For the first time, Rachel saw him look ill at ease He stood in the middle of the room, with a look of almost surprise that people were in his house and now, whilst explaining their sudden eruption into the room, he looked awkward. There wasn’t any other word.

  Alice had unnerved her. It wasn’t just what she had said, but the ease in which she managed to put into words what lay in the dark depths of her own subconscious; things that had never been allowed to become fully formed thoughts.

  Alice seemed to be unnerving Sean too. He wouldn’t quite meet her eye, yet she stared right at him. It was the quietness of her which he found unsettling and she knew it. She had learnt that, if she waited long enough, he would always speak first. It gave her an upper hand over him. She needed that with Sean, always had.

  He would lie his way out of any trouble he got himself in. The less someone accused him of something, the more he began to give himself away. This useful quality she became skilled at, proved to be quite a hit with her employers, which in turn had led her to meet Ben.

  She knew her brother had something to do with her sister and nieces deaths. She also knew, she had absolutely no proof of any of her inner thoughts. As much as she was embarrassed by the rest of her family, she despised her brother with a strength that was much more dominant; she struggled to control her reactions in his presence.

  It stemmed from a permanent memory; they were just sounds but she couldn’t get them out of her head. She was about eleven or twelve and it was the middle of the night, she had been woken up by a low ssschhing and whimpers from Maisy. Their small shared bedroom meant their beds were head to foot. The memory told her nothing, it gave her no hint of what it meant and for years she told herself she hadn’t even heard it; that she had dreamt it.

  But she knew she hadn’t. She knew in her heart that it was real; that night was real. She wished that she had turned round to the noises. That she hadn’t shut her eyes again and drifted back off to sleep. Lately she wished that more than anything. But then, she was also glad she hadn’t.

  If those sounds were what she suspected they were, if what happened in her worst nightmares did actually happen, then as a small child still herself, she thanked god for making her stay facing the other way.

  The graceless silence that had begun to build in the room became almost tangible; an invisible black smoke swam in and out, consuming each of them with a thick toxic hold. Sean spoke first, eventually, just like Alice predicted he would.

  “You look good? Y’know… not bad. How’s things?” It was lame and
they all knew it.

  Rachel was even more thrown by Sean’s sudden flustered ramble. What did sister have over brother?

  Alice smiled then and Sean seemed to relax a little. She didn’t answer him though, just smiled at him with a smile, which looked like her sister’s, but didn’t quite have the same shine as Maisy’s did. Alice, although an attractive woman, didn’t have her stunning looks, or her slim, petit build, taking after her mother for her dumpy form, but she did have Maisy’s look about her. The resemblance was there.

  Before Alice could reply to her brother, Ben walked into the kitchen, holding an empty whisky glass; completely oblivious to the tension that was so clearly visible.

  “Ahh, there you are my love. You will never guess who I just had a rather interesting conversation with. Only Kenny Maltrowitz.”

  All three of them turned to the door, where Ben had appeared. This was the first time Sean had ever actually seen his sister’s fiancé. His parents and Maisy had met him, when Alice bought him home once, but he had yet to have the pleasure. The man standing in the doorway was not what he had expected.

  For a start Ben was black. No-one had mentioned this fact. Not that it bothered Sean. Some of the best cocaine importers he had dealt with over the years had been black.

  He quite liked them, but it was still a shock all the same. He wasn’t prepared for the sheer size of the man either.

  At over six feet tall, he towered over all of them and it struck Sean that, when together with his sister, they must look a rather strange sight. Alice was short and plump, compared to this incredibly well manicured, gigantic man.

  “I do apologise. Where are my manners?” Ben’s thick, dense voice purred off his wide lips.

  Placing his glass on a side-board by the door, he walked over to Sean, who noticed the Savile Row label, as he reached into the inside pocket of his blazer jacket. Ben brought out a business card and shoved it into Sean’s hand with a strong, firm handshake.