The Secret Lives of Emma: Beginnings

by Walker, Natasha

  ‘Oh baby,’ she said, kissing him, ‘I want you to come. I want it. Come, baby, don’t worry. I want you to come.’

  Jason looked at her sheepishly but his pride had no time to assert itself because at that moment the first wave of come shot up his cock and he convulsed, then came another and another. His face showed the strain of orgasm and her hand moved faster and he convulsed again and again. He made no noise. Not a peep.

  He collapsed on his back.

  ‘Emma!’ he mumbled.

  She jumped over and lay on top of him and kissed his face and neck. His limp hands rested on the small of her back.

  ‘Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum,’ she said, between each kiss. ‘Yum, yum, yum, yum!’

  He smiled but was too tired and too relieved to make a sound. He closed his eyes and sighed.

  ‘I want to do it every afternoon,’ she said.

  His smiled broadened.

  SEVEN

  A few days later Emma caught sight of Jason as he returned from school. She waved to him and he jogged over. She was standing by her car, heading to the shops. That was, before she caught sight of Jason.

  He looked shy and embarrassed.

  ‘Hi,’ he said. He waited on the other side of the car and smiled nervously over it.

  ‘Hi there yourself,’ she replied, lifting up her sunglasses and placing them on the top of her head. He smiled. And then smiled again.

  She locked the car and took a couple of steps towards her front door then she turned and looked at him again.

  ‘Coming?’ she asked, before walking through the gate, up the path, stopping on the verandah before the front door.

  She unlocked it and stepped inside.

  Jason followed her as quickly as he could and then paused at the threshold.

  One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

  Jason stepped through the door, waiting for some sign from Emma. He looked down the hall and into the front living room but he couldn’t see her.

  He stood in the hallway shaking. His felt light-headed. Weak. The anxieties of the last few days came flooding in. He hadn’t been able to meet her as they had planned. He had stood her up. He had forgotten that he had cricket training after school. It was the worst afternoon’s cricket he had ever played. All he could think of, all he had thought of since Emma’s last kiss, was Emma and what she had done to him; what she had said, what she’d promised. But after missing that first afternoon he was sure he had blown it.

  The following day he had arrived home from school and Emma’s car wasn’t out front. Later, when he saw that her car was again parked in front of her house, he was unable to find a credible reason why he would go to Emma’s place alone.

  But now he was there. He was inside her house where it was cool and quiet. He had no idea what would eventuate. The way Emma had looked at him had made him hard and edgy.

  ‘Where are you, Emma?’ he called out down the hall.

  ‘Here,’ was her reply from some distant place.

  Jason followed the sound of her voice, climbing the stairs. He came to the door he believed was her bedroom. His mind raced. He felt sick to the stomach. He was so nervous. He imagined her lying on her bed beckoning him to her. Suddenly he felt truly frightened. He wanted so much to be something special, to be a good lover for Emma, but her every action, her manner, her confidence and her obvious knowledge made his whole body quiver in tiny, near paralysing twitches. Being in her house, bringing with him the knowledge of the other day, made him nearly blind with pleasure and fear.

  Jason stood in the hall. All he could see was the open door. He saw nothing of what was within. He listened and heard Emma moving in the room. He was just about to make a move forward, overwhelmed by his fear and anxiety and what might happen, when Emma bounded out of the room, making him jump. It was dumb luck rather than a conscious effort that made the scream he released soundless.

  ‘Oh, baby! Did I frighten you?’

  ‘No,’ he said, ‘I knew you were coming.’

  Emma humoured him and took him by the hand.

  ‘Let’s watch a movie,’ she said. ‘It’s a favourite of mine.’

  Emma dragged Jason along and downstairs before his mind had time to adjust to the new situation.

  She saw him looking at her. She had changed into a sarong and wore a short t-shirt which left her midriff naked.

  ‘I like to be comfortable when I watch films. You don’t mind, do you? I mean we are friends now, right?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said.

  ‘I love the way you don’t talk much,’ she said, having led him into the lounge room. She pushed him onto the couch.

  He smiled as he landed.

  ‘What’s the movie?’ he asked.

  ‘Wait and see,’ she said. ‘It’s one you’ll like.’

  She inserted the disc. Jason looked up at her as she turned to him. She stepped over to him, picked up the remote and then fell gracelessly onto the sofa beside him. She smiled across at him.

  ‘Don’t I get a kiss?’ she said.

  ‘Oh, yes. You’re so beautiful,’ he added, regretting the words as he spoke them and frowned.

  ‘Thank you, Jason. You’re a sweetie.’

  Both Emma and Jason sat dead still a foot apart while Emma tried to maintain her composure. She had let herself be seduced by his youth and inexperience. She felt that everything he did was adorable. She wanted to bite him, on his thigh, on his neck, on his butt – she wanted to eat him up entirely.

  She shot a sideways glance at him and saw his neck and his worried face and almost cried at how cute they were to her. She felt herself becoming hysterical and tried to calm herself. She had such delicious plans for him and she didn’t want to waste his unique and fleeting youth and naivety in one great orgy of sensation. If he touched her now, she thought, it would be all over. She’d have his cock out in a flash and would have his untrained body lying heavily upon her as he thrust into her with thudding and inexperienced lunges. Then she thought that he might lose patience with her and she became wet at the idea of his naked aggression pinning her down.

  ‘Are you alright?’ asked Jason, full of concern.

  ‘I’m fine, just fine,’ she said.

  Emma brought his face to her own and for the first time since they’d parted in the backyard she felt his soft lips against hers. His tongue jutted out and she bit it softly and tamed it. She lulled his sweet mouth back into her power. She thought of the daydreams he must have had about her in the time they were separated and this increased her pleasure. She wanted to have him on her. She wanted the simple weight of him. But she held off. She kissed him away from her. He went to speak but she stopped him with her mouth and then let her hand drift down and she felt the hard mound in his jeans.

  ‘Fuck!’ she said, and then let go and moved away, picking up the remote control again.

  ‘Movie time,’ she said.

  Jason was an open book. His face dropped and a little hint of anger could be seen on his good-looking countenance.

  ‘Don’t you want to watch my film?’

  ‘No,’ he said, suddenly forthright and obviously pleased with himself for being so.

  ‘That’s fine. We can just talk. I don’t mind. Really I don’t.’

  Jason looked apprehensive.

  ‘It’s like you’re playing with me,’ he said. ‘I’m not dumb. You can treat me the same as anyone else.’

  ‘I know that. Jason, don’t get angry with me.’

  ‘I’m not angry.’

  She looked at him, forcing her bottom lip out, feigning a sad face. ‘Come on. Let’s be friends again.’

  ‘Emma, I love you!’

  ‘Good! I love you too, darling.’

  ‘No! I really do,’ he said.

  ‘No. You want to fuck me,’ she said, and when she saw his face cloud over with a confused and worried storm she leant towards him and took both his hands in hers and said, ‘It’s true. It is and I don’t mind. You don’t have to tell me you love me.
You don’t. I want to fuck you. I really do and I will. I will fuck you and more. But I need things to go slow. I don’t like to be rushed. Let’s just take things as they come. OK?’

  Jason seemed happy with this; he nodded at her every word. It was as if some dread, some barrier had been lifted.

  ‘Were you worried?’ Emma asked, having suddenly struck upon an idea.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What about?’

  ‘I was just worried,’ he said.

  ‘Well now you don’t have to be worried. Think of me as …’

  They were silent.

  ‘My mistress?’ he asked, smiling and still looking straight ahead.

  ‘Yes. Yes. I am your mistress. But with one difference, I make all the rules. OK?’

  ‘OK.’

  Emma was devising a plan. She thought of herself as his teacher not his mistress. She would teach him to be the lover she had always longed to meet.

  Trouble was, teachers had patience, self-restraint, and Jason had the power to strip Emma of both.

  ‘Now go home and think about what I’ve said.’

  Jason turned his face to her. ‘But …’

  ‘But nothing … Where were you Tuesday afternoon? And yesterday?’

  ‘I had training,’ he said.

  ‘Well you should have told me,’ she said. ‘I waited here in my bikini all afternoon and you were nowhere.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Emma, but …’

  ‘I’m kidding. It’s okay. I don’t mind. But you have to go home. Think of it as training for the future. You can’t get away with standing up a woman, whatever the excuse. Now go.’

  Jason rose. He looked confused again.

  ‘I still want to kiss you and mess with you but you have to wait until tomorrow afternoon.’

  ‘I have training,’ he said.

  ‘Skip it!’ She looked up at him, watched him check her out. His eyes were the only part of him which revealed to her how much he hungered for her and her resolve wavered under their gaze.

  ‘What do you want?’ she asked after he had stood over her for a minute or so.

  ‘I want …’ He dropped to his knees and threw his arms around her, bringing his lips to hers.

  She accepted his advances for a moment before repulsing them.

  ‘Go home, Jason.’

  ‘But …’ He took her hand in his and kissed the back of it before turning it over and kissing the palm.

  ‘You smoothie,’ she said, smiling.

  He grinned.

  ‘Home,’ she whispered.

  ‘No,’ he whispered back.

  ‘David will be home soon,’ she lied.

  ‘No, he won’t.’

  ‘Yes, he will.’

  ‘You were going to watch a movie with me,’ he said.

  ‘How clever you are.’

  He smiled.

  ‘Now go home because I say so!’ she said, giving him one last kiss and a squeeze on the bum.

  She saw his hard-on pressed against his jeans.

  ‘Take that home,’ she said.

  He blushed at this. The idea of masturbating still seemed so shocking a topic of conversation to him that he turned bright red.

  ‘Fuck! Jason! We all do it. One day I might do it in front of you. Would you like that?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘We’ll see,’ she said. ‘Run along. Go on, get out of here.’

  Jason turned and left before Emma had expected him to. She lay back on the sofa and let out a huge sigh.

  EIGHT

  Emma stood on the sand in the morning sunshine, arms crossed against her chest. She wore her one-piece swimming costume, her hair was tied up in a bun and her goggles dangled from her little finger. The idea was to have her first swim of the season.

  But the first touch of the water had stopped her in her tracks. Stranded on the water’s edge she felt a fool. Others were walking down to the lapping waves and striding in, diving under the surface to rise ready to begin their laps across the bay.

  Holding her hand up to shield her eyes from the low morning sun she counted twenty or so swimmers out there already. The longer she hesitated the more childish she felt. She just could not turn back. On her way down to the water she had passed all of the early morning coffee drinkers, the loungers and soft sand runners. To turn back now would be a public humiliation. Or so it felt to her.

  She tested the water again with her toe. It bit her. Her whole body shivered. There was no going back and there was no going in.

  ‘Emma.’

  Someone was calling her name. She turned and scanned the beach and the esplanade. A tanned male raised his arm, leapt over the wall onto the sand and came jogging up to her.

  ‘I thought it was you. Are you going in?’

  Jason wore nothing but Speedos which had a pair of goggles hanging from them. There was not an ounce of fat on him.

  ‘I was.’

  ‘Is it too cold for you, Mrs Benson?’ he asked, instinctively reverting to the formal. She looked like Mrs Benson today. Was it because her hair was up? Or was it the one-piece? She seemed very pale here on the beach.

  Jason stepped into the water. He scrunched up his face and hopped from one foot to the other, mimicking a child, before falling backwards into the water. He leapt straight back up. ‘Arrgghh! You’re right! It’s freezing!’

  She smiled. Jason’s sudden confidence reminded her of the boys at school who were all rough and tumble with an audience, who would throw her over their shoulder in the spirit of fun, but would go limp when they had the opportunity to touch her.

  He strode out of the water and shook himself like a dog.

  Emma leapt back as water sprayed from his hair.

  ‘Jason! You bugger!’

  ‘Aren’t you going to say hello, Emma?’ he asked, holding out his arms as though to hug her. She was about to move away when he caught hold of her hand and began dragging her towards the water.

  ‘Don’t you dare!’ she shrieked, digging her heels into the sand. ‘Don’t.’

  She had two concerns. She did not want to be tossed into the freezing water, for one. But she was also acutely conscious of how their play would look. The disparity of their ages meant little to her in private, but out here, in public, it felt different. She felt old.

  But he had her in his grip. She could see that he gave no thought to how things looked. He was a puppy, lost to the game. She was being dragged in.

  ‘No!’

  Her feet touched the water. It was so cold.

  He was grinning. He was going to do it.

  ‘Jason, leave poor Emma alone.’

  Jason let go and Emma fell backwards onto the sand.

  Jason’s father, Simon, stretched out his hand and lifted Emma to her feet. He too wore nothing but Speedos. The effect was altogether different to that of his son.

  ‘You have to come in, Mrs Benson,’ said Jason, who had wandered back into the water and knelt down.

  Now that she was safe, she found it hard to take her eyes off him. He was a near perfect specimen. If anything was going to get her into the water it was the desire to run her hands over his abdomen.

  ‘We were about to swim a few laps, Emma. Will you join us?’

  ‘I was, but it’s so cold. I’ll try again in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘You should have been here two weeks ago,’ called Jason from the water. ‘Right, Dad?’

  ‘It’s much warmer this week than it has been,’ he affirmed.

  ‘Come on.’ Jason slapped the water and sent a spray towards Emma which stopped just short of her.

  He did it again. He stood up. Emma’s eyes drifted slowly down the whole of his body. The Speedos left little to the imagination.

  He kicked the water this time.

  Emma needed to jump back.

  ‘We’ve got to get going. Jason has to be at school early this morning. They’ve organised extra tutoring for Economics. We all believe he’s a chance at topping the state. He has
n’t got long now before the exams start.’ Simon paused and smiled. ‘Are you sure you won’t come in?’ He rinsed his goggles in the water before putting them on.

  ‘Can’t. Too cold.’

  ‘OK. We’ll see you tonight then.’ Simon strode into the water without hesitation.

  ‘Tonight?’

  ‘You and David are coming to dinner. Didn’t he tell you?’

  Simon dived under the water.

  Emma remained standing at the water’s edge. She watched as they swam out to start their laps, then turned around and began the ignominious walk back to her towel.

  Entering her neighbours’ house that evening with David, Emma couldn’t shake the tune of Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘Mrs Robinson’. Jason’s antics on the beach had underlined the difference in their ages. He was a boy in a man’s body. And now she was entering his parents’ house with her husband. It couldn’t have become more ridiculous.

  Jason was nowhere to be seen. David and Simon drifted off together leaving Emma with Anne for the first twenty minutes, which was fine. Anne was happy to talk pleasantly about the coming and goings of shared acquaintances. She filled the kitchen with noise without noticing Emma’s boredom.

  ‘Here he is, my little genius,’ said Anne, interrupting her flow as Jason entered the room. She pulled him to her and he tried to escape her arms. ‘But he’s not so little any more, is he?’

  Jason stared at Emma, his face crimson as his mother cuddled him.

  ‘He’s been working so hard.’

  ‘Hello, Mrs Benson.’

  ‘Don’t call me that. What is it with these private school boys? It isn’t the 1950s.’

  ‘I like it,’ said Anne. ‘I would hate to think that good manners could ever go out of fashion. They all call each other by their surnames, stand for others on crowded buses, address their teachers as sir.’

  ‘Even the female teachers?’

  ‘It isn’t a laughing matter, Emma. The school has done a wonderful job. Jason topped the school in economics in the trials. He’s a prefect. Aren’t you, love?’

  ‘He’s never gotten into trouble?’