The Taste of Her Words

by Candace Knoebel

  He pulled me so close I could feel his heart beating as hard as mine.

  In your eyes, I saw the moon,

  And with your kiss, I’ll touch the stars.

  “I know you know what I’m talking about, Andy. You feel it to.” I was a goner when I looked into his starry eyes. “You felt it when you kissed me that night, and you still feel it now.”

  There was no time to think when his hands found my face. When he pulled me toward him in a fierce fury, his lips claiming mine. And I didn’t stop him, because it felt safe inside the water. It felt secret. Quiet.

  It felt like… another world.

  We kissed with a fever I hadn’t felt before. My legs wrapped around him as he groaned against my lips, melting my control. It had been so long since I felt anything, and I was feeling it all at once in a clash of colors.

  His kiss was just how I remembered it. Deep like an ocean, sucking me in, drowning me with lust.

  And I sank willingly, mimicking his movements and opening myself to him. I didn’t care that we were out in the open. Didn’t care that I shouldn’t be kissing him, because it felt too good and he was so right… I had been denying myself this happiness for far too long.

  “I want you so much I hurt from it,” he panted, hands cupping the back of my head as he held me with a steadiness that said he’d never let me go again.

  “I want you too,” I said, swallowing his words.

  “Are you sure?” His lips grazed over my cheek and nose, then back to my lips.

  I nodded, not wanting to disconnect for a mere word’s sake.

  He pulled back, eyes searching mine. I wasn’t sure why I’d ever lied to myself about him. Why I put this off for so long. Water slid over his face, beading from the ends of his dark, mussed hair, and I’d never felt more rooted in a moment. Yet, without warning, I felt like I might drift up to the clouds and never find my way back down.

  His eyes were bright like the stars, and they were trained on me… just like they had been our whole lives. His lips quivered, not from the night chill, but from what I was doing to him… what I’d been doing to him for years.

  And realizing that made my entire body shudder with need.

  “Not here. Not like this.” His voice was deep and rich, trembling with desire.

  I nodded again, following his lead.

  His hands cupped my ass as he guided us out of the water. Once on solid ground, he scooped me up, carrying me toward the cabana. For one moment, I worried I might be too heavy for him, but when I noticed there wasn’t an ounce of strain on his face, I realized I hadn’t been listening.

  Maybe it was me who needed to be the one to start opening my ears to really hear.

  He was all man, and he was offering himself to me.

  I turned the handle for him. His foot pushed the door open, and then we were enshrouded in darkness. Our breaths were heavy as he put me down. His hand lifted to my face and cupped the side, gaze pouring into mine. It took me a second to realize he was waiting for permission. Waiting to make sure this was what I wanted.

  Fuck… yes.

  I all but jumped him, lips clashing so hard our teeth collided. His hands were in my hair, tugging lightly until my neck was exposed. I moaned when his lips moved over the sensitive skin, as he took his time to lick and suck his way down to my collarbone. His breath was hot, sending shivers up my spine. My fingers dug into the hard planes of his back, pulling him closer as he moved me against the wall.

  I wanted all of him at once. Like a starved animal.

  But he took his time kissing me, exploring, tasting my tongue, so patient and explosive.

  “You taste so good,” he said into my mouth while his hands moved over my body as if he were trying to memorize every curve, every dip. “Like sweetness,” he added, tracing his tongue over the outside of my lips. “I’ve been wanting to do this again ever since that night. You’re in my head, Andy, and I can’t get you out. I don’t want to.”

  I thought I might faint.

  “I want to taste more of you.” He lowered himself, kissing his way down my stomach. Every nerve ending jolted under his touch. He was electric.

  When he was on his knees before me, eyes hooded, he said, “Open your legs for me.”

  I did as he said.

  God, I wanted this so bad. I needed this.

  He smirked, and then pulled my bottoms off, fingers leaving a trail of fire on my skin as he took his time.

  I was exposed.

  Never had I ever felt more alive—never had I wanted anyone the way I wanted him right then. He groaned as he took me in. Licked his lips before pressing them against me, sending my brain into a whirling storm of ecstasy.

  If there was any doubt left about this being wrong, the swirling of his tongue eradicated it.

  It was his name I cried out moments later as my body gave over to him. As I held the back of his head by his thick mane of hair while he smoothed his lips over me, soaking up the last bits of my pleasure.

  When he stood, I swore I’d fall over. My knees were that weak.

  I grazed my hands over his chest as he moved his thumbs over my nipples through my bathing suit in slow, torturous circles. I reached for him, desperate to have every part, and took his length in my hand.

  He groaned when I stroked him. When I pressed my lips to his, wanting to swallow his sounds. When he pulled my top down, his hands caught my breasts as his mouth left mine and found my nipples. He moved from one breast to the other, licking and tugging until my eyes rolled back.

  When he came up, I was pounding with the need to have him inside me.

  “If you don’t stop, I don’t think I’ll be able to hang on,” he said in a pant, heart beating so hard I swear I felt it.

  “What if I don’t want you to hang on?” I stroked him again, faster and harder this time, until he spun me and leaned his weight against the wall. His eyes rolled back as my hand glided over him, still wet from the pool. I placed my hand on his chest as I worked him down, enjoying the control he offered. His deep groans sent tiny shocks throughout my system as every muscle in his torso pulled tight.

  When he opened his eyes, I was locked in place as his hand reached for my breast. “I’m close, Andy,” he said, his face morphing into beautiful, tortured pleasure.

  I moved closer, letting him cup my ass. He pulled my head toward his, kissing me deep as I felt him shudder within my hand. I took in his pleasured groans as he finished, a wave of heat trickling over my skin.

  We kissed more, the heat simmering until I leaned back, biting my lip. We were an explosion of stars. Two comets set on a predestined path, finally colliding.

  Heat rolled off our bodies in waves, warming the tiny room as he grabbed a towel off the rack and handed it to me. After wiping off, I handed it back to him, heart unable to stay on beat.

  I felt like I was floating and falling, all at the same time. Like gravity didn’t exist around him.

  “You’re so fucking sexy,” he said, eyes hooded and dark as he watched me slide my bottoms on and adjust my top.

  My lips turned up in his direction, mind still spinning from everything that had happened. From the release and how good he felt. From the fact we did that on my parents’ property. Was this a mistake? The thought was fleeting, gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

  I startled when he grazed a finger over my arm. “You’re receding into yourself, aren’t you?” he asked, a note of fear in his words.

  “No, I’m not,” I lied, forcing a smile to my face. “I’m just… I’m taking it all in, you know?”

  Taking him all in. I stole glances as he wiped off, the material treading over the angular curves of his abdomen. Fingers of pale moonlight streamed in through the blinds, brushing over his slick skin. He was breathtaking, a highway I wanted to travel every inch of.

  How had I gone this long without dipping my toes in the water?

  He looked at me when he was done. Slid his shorts on over the hard lines of his thighs
and smiled. “You want to climb your tree? Maybe talk for a bit?”

  I looked to my feet, at the small puddle of water I stood in. I shouldn’t encourage this anymore than I already had, but I couldn’t deny what just happened. It felt so… so right. “Yes,” I said, feeling like I was taking my first breath of air. “Let me go change, and then I’ll meet you there?”

  He nodded, pulling me closer. I was tense at first, but not after he skimmed his thumb over my lips, parting them before stealing another kiss that threatened to shake the ground right from under me. “I’m afraid if I let you walk out of here, you might not show,” he admitted, searching my eyes.

  His words hit me hard in the chest.

  “I will show,” I promised, kissing him back for good measure.

  When he was satisfied, he let me go.

  Slipping, falling,

  I don’t want to be caught.

  ONCE INSIDE, I HEADED STRAIGHT for my room, the towel clutched in my hands.

  I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe I just did that, I recited over and over, tiptoeing down the hallway. Every step I took made me cringe when the wood creaked underneath me. Any moment, I just knew one or both of my parents would appear from nowhere, asking me what I was doing and where I’d been.

  You aren’t sixteen, Andy.

  But then why did I feel like I was about to be grounded? There was something exhilarating about it… as my heart pounded frantically underneath my cover-up.

  After changing into cotton shorts and a T-shirt, I gathered up what dirty clothes I could find, including the towel, and put them in the washing machine so no one would find the evidence of what happened.

  Once the wash started, I pulled in a slow breath and let it out. I headed into the kitchen for snacks and water. If we were going to be up there, we’d need it. I heard him heading up the stairs and tucked the snacks into a tote before grabbing a throw and a couple of pillows from the trunk by the back door.

  The midnight air was warm and dense as I headed toward the tree house, and the moon full enough there wasn’t a need for a flashlight.

  I felt like I could taste summer. The electric charge in the air of a storm on the rise.

  I heard the back door shut, so I stopped, turning to wait for him. He wore a pair of basketball shorts, the shadows carved from his abs making me wish we were inside the cabana again.

  “Hey,” he said with a smile that could hang the moon.

  “Hi,” I stupidly said as he took the tote and blanket from me to carry. I felt like a silly schoolgirl. Like my heart was reaching for his.

  We stood there for a moment, lightning bugs dancing around us like stars coming to life, as the sounds of the woods serenaded us closer together. Our skin dipped in moonlight.

  He watched me, a contagious grin brewing. “So…” he said, his smile widening.

  “So,” I repeated, shifting in my stance, lips moving in the same direction as his as we headed toward the tree house.

  The tension between us was heady and intoxicating, stimulating the wings of the butterflies inside me. I didn’t want this feeling to end. This sensation of walking on clouds, floating further and further away from reality with every excited beat of my heart.

  He scratched at his chin, the sound of his tight, uneven breaths magnifying my arousal.

  “This is going to sound like a line,” he said, his voice thick and sweet like honey, “but words are failing me at the moment, so I’m just going to say it.” The calm in his movements were a beautiful clash against the nervous edge to his tone.

  My skin heated up. “Okay.”

  He stopped at the base of the tree. Sat the tote and blanket down before pulling me into his arms.

  Eyes like the galaxy,

  A smile like the stars.

  “You’re perfect, Andy,” he said, moving a strand of hair from my face. Stealing the breath from my lungs. “And not in the generic way. In the way you feel when you hear nerves coming through in someone’s voice. Raw emotion curving the perfect notes. That’s when you hear love. When your senses align and you can feel it, all at once.” His chest moved up and down, pace rising. “That’s you, Andy. That’s how you make me feel. Tasting and touching, watching you while listening to you speak. You wake me up, and I want to know more. I want to know everything… like this. When did you get this?”

  He moved the edge of his thumb over a small, pink scar on the corner of my chin.

  I blinked fast, trying to catch my breath, compelled by his gaze. “I was jumping on my cousin’s bed when we were younger, and I jumped too high and ended up losing my footing. When I fell, there was a nail sticking out of the baseboard. It grazed my chin,” I recalled, losing myself in his cosmic gaze.

  He planted a kiss to it, lips soft, the graze from the hairs on his chin cutting a thrill into me. “A page in your story I haven’t yet read.”

  His gaze was consuming and hot, like running a hand over a flame.

  “And this?” He moved the hair off my shoulder as his hand glided to the back of my neck, leaving a trail of shivers in his wake. “What’s past is prologue,” he recited. “The Tempest. Why?”

  I was trembling again. Shattering into a million pliable pieces, waiting for him to reshape me. “I… I sometimes relate to certain parts of Prospero,” I explained, eyes looking down. “Betrayed by his brother and stranded with his daughter on an island for twelve years. Bitter. Broken. Alone.” I looked up at him. “I sometimes feel like that when I think about Matt and the damage he can do to Charlie.” I took in a sharp breath as the pain bled from my words.

  He cupped my face. Put his lips to my eyelids with a feathery kiss.

  “Words,” he said, “they’re magical. They’re gravity, keeping us rooted. Keeping us connected.”

  It felt like he’d pulled the words from my soul. Taking their shapes and meanings, and then painting them in the sky.

  “You’re a thousand beautifully broken pieces, welded together again. Made stronger. More resilient.”

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest, listening to the calm sound of his heartbeat, like the rhythmic swish of the tide pushing and pulling.

  “You want to go up?”

  I nodded. After we broke apart, we made our way up the tree. He spread a blanket out as I set the pillows down. After everything was in place, we snuggled up, passing a bag of chips back and forth.

  “How about you?” I asked as I dug my hand into the bag, leaning back against the pillow.

  “Me?”

  I nodded. “You seem to know so much about me, but the past five years… so much could have changed for you.”

  “What do you want to know?” he asked, opening to me like the pages in a book.

  “Everything. Anything.” I paused and thought. “Girlfriends?”

  His shoulders lifted and fell. “A few here and there, but nothing serious.” He shook his head when I tried to hand the bag to him. I watched him as his eyes scanned the inky, star-littered horizon. He reached for my hand, and our fingers intertwined. Butterflies flooded my heart as my soul smiled. It had been so long since such a simple touch had moved me. Had reminded me that there was still a heart beating inside me.

  A heart deserving of love.

  “I kept my nose buried in books,” he said, his voice velvety and pensive. “Nothing changed for me except where I lived and a degree. It was like a huge part of my life was stuck on pause while the rest hurtled by.” He paused a beat, looking to our hands. “After you left, I felt like a piece of myself left too. It has only just returned.”

  Like clockwork, I was back to reading the changes in his tone and body language. The subtle notes most never picked up on that told me what how he felt. My stomach tightened from his confession, heart snagged by the truth. I felt the same way. Felt like every day away from him was another lifetime in purgatory.

  “I’d never hurt you, Andy,” he said a moment later, his voice quiet. His finger traced the
hills and valleys of my knuckles.

  “I know.” I felt the chains falling away from my heart. Feeling everything I denied myself for so long. Dean was always there. Always so kind and patient. It was like I’d been blind, but I was now seeing him for the first time.

  “I’m sorry I disappeared, Dean. You… you didn’t deserve that.”

  He looked over at me, eyes swimming in the pain I caused him. He had shouldered it for the both of us, giving me the space I needed. Taking the time I offered him.

  “There were so many things I wanted to tell you, and so many more reasons why I couldn’t,” I admitted, brushing the pad of my thumb over my kneecap in circles and loops, spelling out the word love. “How could I justify dropping all my problems on your plate when you were just getting ready to begin your life?”

  A streak of lightning stretched its forked fingers across the sky as thunder rolled in the distance.

  “As hard as it was to watch you walk away, I understood,” he said, lending his heart to me like he always did. His mind an endless well of compassion. “And… in some ways, even though it was a tough pill to swallow, I think I owe you one, because I don’t think I’d have had the strength to leave your side had you given yourself to me then.”

  I squeezed his hand as my heart swelled.

  “I just wish you would have kept working on your manuscript.” He bumped his shoulder into me, his smile as warm as the air around us. “I’d love to read more of your work.”

  My stomach did a somersault at the thought of him thinking of my words as work. “I wouldn’t call it work,” I said, laughing nervously. “It’s scribbling. Probably too lame for your tastes, Mr. Editor.”

  I wanted to kiss his mouth when he smiled at me. “I like how you say that.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. Fireworks exploded, the sensations coursing through my blood. “But nothing you could ever write would be lame.”