Moorland Mist

by Gwen Kirkwood

  ‘Are you hungry already?’ Emma asked in surprise.

  ‘Yes, the food looked lovely but I was too nervous to eat much.’

  ‘You were nervous? I don’t believe you.’

  ‘I was. I didna ken what to expect with your three brothers and your father all watching over you. They love you very much, Emmie. They all gave me a lecture on taking care of you. Joe says he’s saving up for the train fare and he’ll come down to visit and see that I’m looking after you.’

  ‘Did he really say that?’ Emma asked, removing the cloth from the top of the basket with one hand. She held it out for him to choose. He selected a thick ham sandwich.

  ‘Shall I pass you one or can you mange with one hand?’

  ‘Of course I can,’ Emma gave a little laugh and he was pleased to hear it. Ever since she arrived at the station she had been wide-eyed and anxious. ‘Ye’d be surprised what you have to learn to do while shushing the baby or carrying him around. Pass me a smaller sandwich, please?’

  ‘They’re delicious. I’m glad your mother thought to send some.’

  ‘I expect she guessed we’d need them. The ham is frae Bonnybrae. Your F-father and M-Maggie have been so kind.’ Her voice shook. She brushed a crumb from her skirt. ‘Oh and I must thank you for buying me this lovely outfit.’

  ‘It was Annie’s idea,’ William admitted. ‘She asked an awful lot of questions about the colour of your eyes and your size. I asked Maggie for your measurements. Annie and her sewing friend did the rest, but she will be pleased when she sees you in it.’

  ‘I thought it was too good to wear for travelling, especially when I shall have to feed Jamie on the journey.’

  ‘Will you?’ William sounded alarmed. ‘Have to feed him while we’re on the train, I mean?’

  ‘Y-yes, of course. He likes a feed every four hours and sometimes more often. He’s a greedy boy,’ she added fondly, stroking his cheek with a gentle finger.

  William was surprised to feel a pang of jealousy at her obvious love for the sleeping infant. She looked up at him and there was a glint of challenge in her eyes, reminding him of the old Emmie who had always responded to his teasing. ‘If you need to be fed so soon, why shouldn’t your son?’

  ‘Mmm, I suppose that’s something else I need to get used to. Let’s hope we don’t get any more passengers in with us then.’

  ‘Well, I hope we don’t get any more men in,’ Emma admitted, her cheeks flushing. She already felt embarrassed at the prospect of feeding the baby in front of William, even though he was the father. They were a newly married couple and unused to each other.

  Almost as if he had read her thoughts, William said, ‘I have told everyone, except Annie and Drew, that we are already married and I had left you behind to have the baby until I had a home for you both. I thought it would make things easier, especially when we shall have a maid and a man living with us, at least in the beginning. The blacksmith is looking out for anyone available. Will you give Mrs Wright’s niece a trial? She will have everything to learn when she’s so young but Mrs Wright says she loves babies, and she has seven younger brothers and sisters so she is used to caring for them.’

  ‘That will be a great help, I think. We put him to sleep in the clothes basket at home but Ma said we should look for a big drawer or take the lid off the big blanket box we are taking with us.’

  ‘I’m sure we shall find something for him,’ William said. ‘I pray you will not be too dismayed at the dust and cobwebs. Old Ed, the previous tenant, is a nice, gentle old man, but I don’t know how he has survived all on his own. He refuses to leave his two cows until he has met you and he’s sure you will look after them well. I assured him you’re very fond of animals but he wants to be introduced to you. They’re like friends to him. He is staying to milk them tomorrow morning, then he’s catching the train to travel to his sister’s as soon as he’s seen you.’

  ‘I see,’ Emma said. ‘The cows should be quiet then.’ Jamie began to stir and then to whimper, shoving away the blanket in a determined manner. ‘I think he’s hungry.’

  ‘This would be a good time to feed him when we have the carriage to ourselves, Emmie, and before we need to change trains for Wakefield.’

  ‘We need to get on another train?’

  ‘Yes, but don’t worry, the porters will help with our luggage. Then Drew will be there to meet us at Wakefield with his pony and trap.’ He tried to keep his eyes to himself as Emma, her cheeks growing pink with embarrassment, tried to arrange her shawl as she opened her bodice. Jamie was an eager feeder and needed little guidance to find her nipple with his soft, searching mouth. In spite of the stressful day, she had plenty of milk and Emma knew it would be a relief to have him take his fill but she couldn’t bring herself to meet William’s gaze when she felt him watching. She couldn’t know how much he envied his young son as he kneaded the creamy skin of Emma’s breast with his tiny fists. William had noticed the swell of her breasts as soon as he saw her at the kirk and he thought again how well motherhood suited her. She looked happy as she watched her suckling infant.

  Queenie was getting restless and both Emma and William were eager to reach their destination after several hours of sitting still. Emma felt she had been on the moving train all day. It seemed impossible that they had had a wedding and a christening before they started their journey. William was relieved to see Drew was waiting for them at the station. He greeted them warmly, peered at the sleeping baby and patted Queenie.

  ‘Can you keep a hold of Queenie for me a minute, Emmie,’ William asked, ‘while I arrange for the railway waggon to deliver the two wooden chests to Moorend?’ Queenie was not used to being restrained by the lead for she was an obedient, well-trained dog. She remembered Emma well and she lay at her feet, looking up with reproachful eyes. Emma smiled down at her and bent to give her a pat. ‘I know you’re a good dog but this is a frightening, noisy old place for you and me. We’re just making sure you don’t come to any harm.’

  ‘Do you always hold conversations with your animals, Emma?’ Drew asked, his deep voice reflecting amusement. Emma looked up and her blue-green eyes sparkled.

  ‘Of course I do. Sometimes they make more sense than people.’

  ‘Mmm, well you could be right there. She’s a fine young collie.’

  It didn’t seem to take them long before Drew was turning the trap into a farm yard in the middle of a village. Her dark brows rose questioningly.

  ‘Drew tells me most of the farms down here are situated in the villages with the land stretching out behind them’ William said, seeing her surprise. ‘Moorend is at the far end of a village but it has an advantage in that we shall have a field on all sides, but it’s only a short drive to the road.’

  ‘I can’t wait to see it. I’m sure it can’t be as bad as you say.’

  Annie welcomed them warmly and insisted on giving Jamie a wee cuddle while her own two children looked on shyly. She bent to let them see the baby and Hannah, a fair-haired 2½-year-old came close and stroked his downy head with a gentle finger.

  ‘We’ve maked a bed for him,’ she said. ‘It’s in a basket.’

  She had a slight lisp and Emma thought she was adorable. Her brother Ronnie came closer and looked down at the sleeping baby.

  ‘Does he sleep all the time? I would like a boy to play with me when Mam gets a new one.’ Annie gasped and stared at him, her cheeks colouring a little. ‘It’ll be all right,’ he said innocently. ‘Fran said I shouldn’t worry ’cos you weren’t ill and it’s only a new baby making you sick.’

  ‘Fran said that, did she?’ Anna pursed her lips, but she looked at Emma, shaking her head in despair. ‘She’s our maid but she lives in one of the cottages with her husband. We inherited her. She’s a good worker but,’ she grimaced, ‘she takes a bit of managing sometimes, the things she says. I hope you’ll be better with a young maid you can train yourself, Emma, even if you do have to teach her everything at first.’ She looked up at William. ‘Yo
u have arranged for Emma to have a maid, haven’t you?’

  ‘Yes, if Emma approves. She’s a niece of Joe Wright’s wife. She’s bringing her to Moorend tomorrow morning. He’s also found me a man. Cliff, he’s called. Apparently he has the strength of an ox but not much sense. Willing enough though, or so Joe Wright says. Anyway, he’s the only one available until the hiring at Michaelmas.

  ‘Come on, Emma, let me show you where you’re to sleep tonight. I’ll bring you a jug of warm water so you can freshen up after all that travelling, though I must say you do look smart and not at all travel weary.’

  ‘I must thank you for your part in my new outfit,’ Emma said.

  ‘Och, William paid for the material and the seamstress. I only arranged it. Drew has promised to buy me one of these treadle sewing machines when the new baby is born but it’s not due until January. Fran shouldn’t have stuck her nose in and told Ronnie so early.’

  Annie had prepared a lovely meal for them – roast chicken and new potatoes and peas from the garden, followed by rhubarb pie and cream as well as tea and newly baked shortbread.

  As they washed up together, they chatted as though they had always known each other.

  ‘It’s lovely to have someone from back home to entertain,’ Annie confided. ‘I know Drew loves me, and we have the children now, but sometimes I still feel a bit homesick for my ain folk. I know we shall not be living near but I hope we shall be able to meet sometimes when you get settled in, Emma.’

  ‘I would like that. I’m sure I shall need a friend. I er … William said you know about us only getting married today, but he has told everybody else we’re already married.’

  ‘Yes, he thought it would be better this way. People don’t need to know all your business.’

  ‘But William has only married me because he feels it’s his duty on account of – of me having Jamie.’ Emma flushed with embarrassment. ‘It was a shock. I didn’t realize until he started kicking and Maggie said it was a baby. Mrs Sinclair threw me out of the house as soon as she knew. I didn’t have a chance to tell William, even if I’d wanted to. We didn’t even have time to say goodbye.’

  ‘I can imagine Mary and her so-called morals,’ Annie said, her soft mouth tightening.

  ‘It will be strange being married. We saw each other every day at Bonnybrae but we never got to know each other properly so we couldn’t fall in love,’ Emma said wistfully.

  ‘But – but you must have liked each other, Emma? I–I mean to … to have a baby together and …’

  ‘William has always been kind and he used to tease me and … well, we seemed to be friends. I–I didn’t know it was so easy to make a baby. We only slept together once, because we were stranded on a misty hill.’ She sighed, thinking of Aunt Vera and her sharp tongue and crude explanations about everything. ‘I’m not so stupid now. I have learned a lot of things.’

  ‘I’m sure you have, Emma. I didn’t really know much about life either when Drew and I first got married, but I did know he loved me.’

  ‘My father still loves my mother, even after all these years and all the troubles the four of us must have caused them. It will be a long time before William and I can be like that, if we ever do.’

  ‘I don’t think it will be as bad as you think,’ Annie said slowly, but her eyes were troubled. ‘Come and see what we have bought you for a wedding present,’ she said, hoping to cheer Emma a little. They went through to the room where Drew and William were chatting in front of the fire, although the late summer evening was still warm. They each had a glass of whisky.

  ‘Would you like a wee toddy to help you sleep, Emma?’ Drew asked, rising to his feet.

  ‘Oh no, no, thank you. I–I don’t drink. Anyway, I shall not need anything to help me sleep tonight,’ she said, struggling to stifle a yawn.

  ‘Let me show you your wedding gift from Drew and me, and then we’ll let you go to bed.’ Annie led her over to a large cardboard box. ‘The shop packed it all up so well I don’t want to disturb it because it’s breakable. I knew nobody back home would buy breakable wedding gifts when you would have to bring them on the train and you had so much to bring already. It’s a china tea set with twelve of everything for when you have special friends to entertain.’ She drew out a cup and saucer and plate in the finest Shelley china.

  ‘Oh,’ Emma gasped with pleasure, ‘how pretty it is! And it’s so fine I can almost see through it.’ No one else had bought them a wedding gift, she thought. ‘You’re kind, so v-very kind,’ Emma said huskily, blinking away her tears. She gave Annie a spontaneous hug and kissed her cheek.

  ‘Hey, don’t I get a kiss too?’ Drew chuckled, getting to his feet and coming to give Emma a bear hug. He held his cheek for a kiss. Emma blushed shyly but she obliged. ‘We wish you both a long and happy life together, and I can see you and Annie are friends already. I’m pleased about that, and glad to have a fellow Scotsman near at hand myself.’

  ‘I think we must let Emma get to bed now and I’ll make sure our two are sleeping. Do you feed wee Jamie last thing?’

  ‘Yes, I do, and he sleeps through most nights now until about six o’clock. I don’t need an alarm clock.’

  ‘That’s good,’ William said. ‘I’d like to make an early start. We shall have a lot to do tomorrow before we can go to bed again. I’ll join you in a few minutes, Emmie, when I’ve finished this.’ He held up his glass.

  Drew was a great talker and he kept William later than he had intended. Eventually he got to his feet, determined to go to bed but Drew did the same.

  ‘You know, old boy,’ he said jovially, slapping William on the back, ‘I was afraid you would have a shrew for a wife. I imagined your mother’s maid had set out to trap you into marriage, but Emma didn’t trap you at all. A man can see she’s an innocent lassie still, even though she’s borne a son.’

  ‘Of course Emma didn’t trap me,’ William said indignantly. He guessed the whisky had made Drew talk more freely than usual. ‘Such a thing would never have occurred to her. In fact, she didn’t expect us to marry even when she’d had the bairn. She didn’t tell her family I was the father.’

  ‘I reckon ye’re a lucky man, but be gentle with her.’

  By the time William got upstairs, his baby son was asleep in a padded basket beside the bed and Emma lay with one arm flung above her head, her lips slightly parted. She had unpinned her hair and it lay in a long, shining pleat over her chest, emphasizing the fullness of her breasts beneath the white embroidered nightgown. She looked young and vulnerable. William’s heart filled with tenderness and he longed to take her in his arms. He spoke her name softly but she didn’t stir. She was sleeping as soundly as the baby beside her and he knew it would be cruel to waken her after her hectic day and with an even busier day ahead of them tomorrow. He undressed and climbed in beside her but he lay awake for a long time, wondering what their future together would hold. How would she react when she saw the untidy, dirty house which was to be their home?

  Thirteen

  It had become a habit for Emma to listen for Jamie’s first whimper in the mornings and prevent him disturbing the household. She put him to her breast and lay back against her pillows as he suckled contentedly. She had slept well and felt refreshed but she enjoyed this brief time before the real work of the day began. She thought William was asleep, with his long legs stretched almost to the bottom of the bed. She had forgotten how tall he was until she stood beside him at the altar yesterday. Could it be only yesterday? Jamie stopped sucking and looked up at her. She smiled down at him, knowing he wanted to move to her other side. She obliged, pleased to have her swelling breasts relieved but as she glanced down her eyes widened. William was lying with his head to one side, watching intently. Emma blushed, feeling exposed without her shawl.

  ‘Don’t be shy with me, Emmie,’ he said softly. ‘It suits you, being a mother. You look even prettier.’ Emma eyed him warily. Did he really mean that? He reached out a hand and gently stroked Jamie�
�s head. ‘I wonder if this wee fellow knows how lucky he is snuggling in there.’ His hand moved below the baby to lie on Emma’s flat stomach. She drew in her breath, but she liked the warmth and strength of his fingers as they splayed out over her body, almost reaching from hip to hip. ‘I’d forgotten how small you are, Emmie.’

  ‘We – we barely knew each other really,’ she said in a low voice. ‘It will be strange being together every day without – without …’

  ‘Without my mother’s eagle eye on us?’ William finished drily. ‘I think we shall enjoy getting to know each other as man and wife. I will try to make you happy, Emma.’

  ‘And I will try to b-be a good wife,’ Emma stammered; his exploring hand was wakening all manner of feelings in her. Jamie stirred and struggled. ‘I need to change this wet son of yours now. Sometimes I think he must sit in a pool he gets so wet.’ She sat up and put her legs over the side of the bed. William sighed but he knew this was not the time or place to make love to his new wife, much as he longed to waken all the emotions they had shared the one night they had spent together on the hill.

  ‘I suppose we must dress and prepare for a long hard day,’ he said. His eyes were anxious. Emma smiled up at him as she fastened the safety pin in Jamie’s nappy and laid him back in his basket.

  ‘Both my father and yours are fond of saying a good day’s work never killed anyone.’

  ‘I know but I never saw a place like Moorend. Ed Dixon and his wife must have hoarded everything. Then there’s the dirt inside and out.’

  ‘Mother said we should look on the bright side and if I can wash and polish some of the furniture, it might save us buying so much. You did say there would be a bed, didn’t you?’

  ‘I didn’t see upstairs but I’m expecting there is. Ed said he couldn’t bring himself to throw away his wife’s possessions.’

  ‘The sooner we get there and find whether we shall have a place to sleep tonight the better,’ Emma said briskly.