Dreaming With A Broken Heart (Hollywood Legends #1)

by Mary J. Williams

  The paparazzi were another matter.

  You didn’t grow up in Hollywood, the child of superstar parents, without a healthy disdain for the tabloid press and the vultures who fed off of it. Still, Garrett was low on anyone’s radar. Or he always had been. A few pictures here and there. Never any scandal attached to him. He was boring. If word got out about his clandestine meetings with Jade Marlow, that would change in a heartbeat.

  So, for the first time in his life, Garrett became a skulker. Finding out he was good at it came as a bit of a surprise. Making excuses when friends invited him out for drinks. Leaving his Lamborghini parked at the studio while he drove off in a newly purchased turn-of-the-century Toyota. He couldn’t afford to keep borrowing Hamish’s car. Not unless he wanted to start answering the inevitable questions.

  Putting off his friends and colleagues was a piece of cake. His family? That was another matter altogether.

  “Let’s go out and get stinking drunk.”

  Nate walked into his office the way he usually did. No warning and mid-thought. His twin flopped onto the couch, his big body crushing cushions.

  “Because?” Garrett was certain he knew the answer.

  “My next gig starts the day after tomorrow. They estimate a ten-week shoot. Which means…”

  “Closer to fourteen.” Garrett finished. Stan Packer was directing the film. The man was notorious for his run overs.

  “Exactly,” Nate huffed. “I don’t drink when I’m on the job. I can live without the stuff; you know that. But on location? In Bumfuck, Tennessee? There is nothing to do but count each other’s mosquito bites.”

  “That can be entertaining.”

  “No women in the movie or on the crew, little brother.”

  “Well, damn.” Garrett sympathized. He was sexually frustrated and he had a woman. Sort of. Nate was staring down more than three months without even a chance of sex. Brutal.

  “You shouldn’t be getting drunk; you should be getting laid.”

  “Been there, done that,” Nate said with an exaggerated sigh.

  “God,” Garrett chuckled. “Save me from the day I make sex sound like it was a chore.”

  “Not a chore,” Nate conceded. “A bore. Or rather, so by the numbers I can barely remember it happened. Two hours ago, Garrett. The sex was the equivalent of junk food. It seems great while it’s happening. After, you feel empty and unsatisfied.”

  “When did you start waxing philosophical?”

  “Philosophical, hell,” Nate scoffed. “I’m saying I need a more imaginative bed partner.”

  “I think it was you who once pointed out this town has an endless array of choices. Women at every turn.”

  “Hmm. There are more women than one man can hope to get to. The problem is I haven’t been making very good choices lately.”

  Nate leaned his head back, his eyes closed. He wore his usual. Jeans and a t-shirt. Both were well worn, though fastidiously clean. Black, steel-toed work boots. Around his right wrist, he wore a red and gold braided friendship bracelet — a gift from a young cancer victim Nate met through the Make a Wish Foundation. The boy wanted to grow up to be a stuntman. Through superior medical care and what the doctors called a miracle, that dream, and the boy was still alive. Nate would cut off his hand before he parted with those woven pieces of cloth.

  “Dare I ask who your latest disappointment was?”

  “Tawny Bright.”

  “Oh, come on.”

  Nate lifted one eyelid. Seeing the disbelief on his brother’s face, he grinned.

  “I swear on my vintage Harley.”

  “Stripper?”

  “Hippies,” Nate corrected. “Her parents carried on the family tradition of living off the earth and naming their children ridiculously over-the-top names. I figure you have two choices. Legally change it or embrace the crazy.”

  “I take it Tawny chose the latter.” Garrett loved when his brother stopped by. He had the best stories. Most of which were true.

  “Top to bottom. She looks like she stepped out of the touring company of Hair. Or maybe Godspell. I always thought that one was completely out there.”

  “It cracks me up that my badass brother knows the difference. Guys with bulging muscles and tattoos aren’t supposed to be musical theater fans.”

  “Ya,” Nate nodded. “I’m a fucking enigma. And it’s one tattoo. Singular. Mom had a fit when she found out about it. She would skin me alive if I got another.”

  “A badass, musical-loving momma’s boy.” Garrett ducked when Nate whipped a cushion his way. “Missed me by a mile. You’re losing your touch.”

  “I had my eyes closed.”

  “Excuses, excuses.”

  “Speaking of excuses. Wyatt tells me you’ve been making a lot of them lately.”

  Nate stretched out on the couch. Since all the Landis men were tall, their furniture ran toward oversized. Normally, Nate’s feet would be hanging over an armrest. Instead, his boots barely skimmed the end.

  “Wyatt needs to get a life so he can stop worrying about mine.”

  “Come to think of it, you blew me off a couple of times lately.” Nate tucked his hands behind his head then wiggled his eyebrows. “Want to tell me about her?”

  “No.”

  “Ah, ha.”

  “Christ.” Did he never learn? “No, because there isn’t anyone to talk about.”

  “Right.” Nate simply shook his head. He let his eyes drift shut. “What’s the big secret? Is she married?”

  Oh, no. He wasn’t falling for that one again.

  “What is the obsession with married women?” Garrett countered. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

  “Fine.” Nate yawned. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready. You always do.” He turned onto his side, facing away from Garrett. “You don’t mind if I catch a few winks, do you?”

  Garrett didn’t bother to point out that the big bed in Nate’s bedroom would be much more comfortable. His brother owned a house not far from his own. Both places were empty more often than not because they traveled so much. The difference was, if given the chance, Garrett gladly closed off the world for days at a time. He liked his solitude. Nate needed people. He hated an empty room. He always slept better when he knew someone was near. Preferably, someone he loved and trusted. For all his man-whore ways, Nate wanted to settle down. He wanted what their parents had. However, until he found the perfect woman for him, he was happy to play the field. The more, the merrier.

  When the intercom on Garrett’s desk buzzed, he answered quickly. Nate had the amazing ability to regulate his level of sleep. When he needed it, he was a light sleeper. The slightest noise would wake him instantly. Other times, like now, a brass band wouldn’t disturb him. Still, Garrett kept his voice low.

  “Problem?”

  “Is that the only reason I contact you?” Wyatt asked.

  “Let’s call it 70-30.” Garrett glanced at Nate. Nope, not even a twitch.

  “Then I’m upping the odds for a non-business call. You’ve been blowing me off lately. How about lunch? We can catch up.”

  Wyatt was right. Between work and Jade, he wasn’t spending much time with his brother. Any of them.

  “Nate is here. Dead to the world on my couch.”

  “Take out?” Wyatt understood that Garrett wasn’t leaving Nate alone. “Chinese or Mexican?”

  “He’s bound to wake up when he smells food,” Garrett said. “Make it both.”

  While he waited, Garrett rocked back and forth in his chair, staring at nothing in particular. Jade aside, he, and his brothers, led fast-paced, hectic, busy lives. They wouldn’t have it any other way. Making time for each other was important. He had friends. Nate, Wyatt, and Colt were his best friends. Making time, even if it was lunch in his office, was important.

  Without another thought, Garrett grabbed his phone, did a quick scroll through the names, and dialed. He grinned with satisfaction when Colt picked up.

  “Hey, Ga
rrett. What do you need?”

  That was the difference. His brothers, every one of them, had his back. No questions asked.

  “Are you free for lunch?”

  “I could probably get away for an hour or two. They don’t need me until this afternoon. Where and when?”

  “My office. Now.”

  “Wyatt?”

  “And Nate.”

  “Well, hot damn,” Colt whooped. “I’ll be there in ten.”

  “Hey. Make it twenty,” Garrett cautioned. Once a big brother, always a big brother. “We aren’t going anywhere.”

  “I’M READY, GARRETT.”

  There was a touch of desperation in Jade’s voice. Good. But he wanted more than a touch. He wanted her tearing at his clothes. He wanted her to bed. It seemed only fair. He was a hair’s breath away from dropping to his knees. He would promise her anything for one taste of heaven on Earth. One sip of Jade.

  “We still have our clothes on, honey. Naked is an important step.”

  “We can do it this way.”

  The desperation was still there. So was something else. Fear.

  They were in the hotel room, on the old bed, lying face to face. As always, darkness surrounded them. Kissing, caressing. They were getting good at both. Jade liked when he touched her breasts. As long as it was over her shirt and bra. She moaned. Garrett loved the sound. She grew bolder every time. Tonight, she bent her leg, lifting it until it curled around his hip. Garrett shifted his knee, sliding it up until he felt the heat of her very core. Not a moan this time. A gasp.

  “Move, Jade. Ride my leg.”

  Garrett’s hand gripped her waist, encouraging her to slide up and down.

  “Mmm.” The sound came out of Jade in a husky sigh.

  “Does that feel good?” He knew the answer but wanted the words from her lips.

  “Yes. Please, Garrett. I need… I need…”

  “I know what you need.”

  Garrett knew he could give her an orgasm like this. But he didn’t want her to get used to always keeping a barrier between them. He tried several times to touch her. Every time his hand began to slide under the material, she froze. Solid. All progress wiped away.

  “One day I will back you up against a wall and take you,” Garrett promised. He lowered his voice. “Hard. Fast. No preliminaries. You will get to the point where all I have to do is look at you a certain way and you will be so wet, so ready, you’ll come with my first thrust. That won’t stop me. I’ll make you ride it out, never ending. Up, up, up again.” With each word, Garrett rubbed against her a little harder. “You won’t come again until I let you. Not until I’m ready.”

  “I’m ready,” Jade breathed. Her hands gripped his arms, her head thrown back, leaving her neck vulnerable to his mouth. At the first touch of his lips, she cried out his name.

  “That’s right, Jade. I want you to remember who you’re with. This is my touch.”

  Holding his breath, Garrett edged the hem of her shirt up, and then slid his hand underneath. When he felt Jade begin to stiffen, he bit the side of her neck and shifted his knee, hitting just the right spot between her legs. Jade was too far gone to protest when he pushed up her bra and cupped her bare breast for the first time.

  “Let me take your top off,” Garrett whispered in her ear.

  While Garrett waited for her answer, the pad of his thumb teased her nipple. It hardened quickly, making his mouth water in anticipation. He wanted to taste that lovely little bud. Hell, he wanted to taste every inch of her.

  “Stop.”

  The second Jade said the word Garrett felt his stomach drop. With any other woman, he would coax, cajole — find a way to turn that stop into a go. Jade wasn’t any other woman. His hands dropped away. His leg straightened, leaving her hot, wet core. They no longer touched and not even the heat of the room could stop the cold that settled over him.

  “Did I frighten you?” Damn it, Garrett wished he could see her face.

  “Yes.” Jade pulled in a deep breath. “I’m scared, Garrett. Not of you.”

  “Then what?”

  “I’m… I have scars. On my stomach, below my breasts.”

  Garrett heard the tears in Jade’s voice. Following his instincts, he reached for her.

  “No,” Jade pulled back. “If you hold me, I know I’ll fall to pieces. I should have told you everything before we got this far. It was stupid to think we could have sex without any intimacy.”

  “Not stupid,” Garrett said. “Intimacy isn’t a prerequisite for sex.” Taking a chance, he reached for her hand. Relief surged through him when her fingers curled around his. “It makes it better, though.”

  For once Garrett was grateful the room was dark. Sometimes it was easier to share difficult things when you couldn’t see the other person’s reactions. The anonymity of the confessional, so to speak.

  “Is this something you want to hear?” Jade asked. “You didn’t sign up for the heavy stuff, Garrett. I asked you for sex, not a shoulder to cry on.”

  “I want to be your friend, Jade. With or without sex, I will always be here for you.” Garrett squeezed her hand. “Always.”

  “I want you.”

  “Thank God. That whole, with or without sex crap? I meant it, honestly. Let’s just say I will be much happier with than without.”

  “I know you’re joking.”

  “Maybe,” Garrett admitted. “A little. I do want you, Jade. That hasn’t changed.”

  “It might. After you hear what I have to say.”

  Garrett wanted to assure Jade. He knew the basics of her story. The whole world knew. Having the details filled in would not change his desire for her. A part of him wished she would keep it to herself. Not because he feared losing interest. Because he didn’t want to have those images in his brain. Taking a deep breath, he chastised himself. Jade needed to do this. He needed to listen.

  “We were married two months the first time Stephen hit me.”

  Garrett didn’t respond. He sensed the less he said, the easier it would be for Jade to continue.

  “I don’t remember him having a temper before that. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention. My father has always been volatile. I suppose I was used to being around a man who expressed his dissatisfaction loudly.”

  Garrett couldn’t help it. He had to ask.

  “Did your father ever hit you?”

  “No,” Jade said emphatically. “He likes to use words to break a person down, not fists. Stephen didn’t have the patience for verbal abuse. Physically knocking me down was faster, and for him, much more satisfying.”

  Garrett’s gut clenched. He wished he could go back and stop what happened. It was impossible and unproductive thinking. He was here; he would listen. He hoped that would help her heal.

  “At first, Stephen wasn’t careless enough to leave marks that couldn’t easily be covered up. My face was off limits. My stomach was his favorite target. He would punch me, and then kick me when I was on the ground. I think I had a miscarriage one of those times. I suspected I was pregnant, but I hadn’t seen a doctor. The blood, after Stephen hit me, was too heavy. I knew the baby was gone.”

  Garrett couldn’t stand it a moment longer. If she didn’t want to be held, too bad. He needed Jade in his arms. Pulling her close, he breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t object. Instead, she held him back, relaxing in his embrace.

  “I’m sorry about the baby.”

  “Me too.” Jade turned her face into the crook of his neck. “I would have loved my child, Garrett. But…”

  “What?”

  “I’m glad I didn’t have Stephen’s baby.” Garrett felt a shudder run through her body. “Am I a horrible person for feeling that way?”

  “For not wanting to bring another human being into an unthinkable situation? Hardly.”

  “I was weak. I know that. The second I thought I was pregnant I should have walked away. Run away. Instead, I stayed behind the wall I’d built up.”

  “There
was no one you could talk to?” Garrett asked. Like your father? The question burned in his throat. Where the hell was Anson Marlow? Why did he let his daughter go through hell when he was living in the same house?

  “You mean my father.”

  “Yes, Jade. I’m sorry, but what the hell? He had to know.”

  “Yes,” Jade admitted. “Nothing happens in that house without my father finding out. The servants report everything. There was no way to hide the blood on the floor. I was in no condition to clean it up and Stephen didn’t even try. He left me there. Left the house. I assume he went drinking with his cronies or to one of the women he slept with instead of me. Believe me. I was more than happy to let someone else take care of that.”

  “What did you father do?”

  “Besides have a maid dispose of the ruined rug? Nothing.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Does it help? Cursing, I mean.” Jade snuggled closer. “I think I’d like to learn.”

  “Jade, honey, if there is anyone who had the right to let the swear words loose, it’s you.” And then some.

  “I spoke with my father the next day. Enough was enough. I lost his grandchild. He always spoke about his legacy, how important it was to leave something behind. He didn’t care if Stephen hit me. I knew that. Surely my losing his future heir would tip the scales in my favor.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to like the answer.”

  “I didn’t.” Jade sighed. She sounded tired. Garrett pulled her closer, willing her to take some of his strength. “He finally acknowledged there was a problem. Correction. A minor problem with my marriage. Not with Stephen. My father handpicked my husband. Fundamentally, he was fine. I, on the other hand, was a mess before and still. Now, instead of being a constant thorn in his side, that thorn was irritating Stephen.”

  “Your father blamed you?” Garrett knew Jade told the truth. Still, it seemed unbelievable that a man would side with the monster who was abusing his daughter.