Dreaming With A Broken Heart (Hollywood Legends #1)

by Mary J. Williams

  Unable to stop herself, Jade’s eyes slid to Garrett. His vote mattered. If he didn’t want her there, she would accede to his wishes. Jade caught her breath. Not only was his hand up, he looked directly at her. Unwavering. The distance between them made it impossible to tell the color of his eyes. Maybe a clear gray? Silver? Either way, he didn’t object to her being here.

  “Unanimous.” Callie opened her arms, drawing Jade in for a warm hug. “There’s no getting rid of the Landis clan now, young lady.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Jade said, her eyes once again meeting Garrett’s.

  Damn. She had to stop that. How could she insist on nothing but friendship if she couldn’t stop looking at him? Or wanting to touch him. The answer to her problem was simple. She couldn’t come to the house when she knew Garrett would be here. Plain and simple — he was too much of a temptation.

  “Okay.” Callie clapped her hands. “Now that we’ve settled that, let’s eat.”

  Jade picked up her glass before she was swept away by the crowd of hungry men. She felt a hand on her waist, guiding her to her chair. Without looking, Jade knew who it was.

  “I know what you were thinking back there,” Garrett whispered as he held the chair out for her.

  Jade sat, afraid to answer. Her throat felt tight. She couldn’t force any words past the lump in her throat.

  “You want to be friends.”

  How did he know?

  As he pushed in her chair, Garrett leaned closer. “Friends? No fucking way.”

  It wasn’t said as a threat. Jade didn’t feel threatened or frightened in any way. There was a low, deep promise in Garrett’s voice that made a shiver run through her body. Damn him. With only a few words, she felt that pre-sex languor pulse over her skin, through her veins, pooling between her legs.

  “Are you wet?” Garrett asked her with a voice so low before she knew what she was doing, Jade leaned closer to his lips. Before he stood back, he added three more words that were bound to have her squirming all through dinner. “Think of me.”

  Evil. Diabolical. Jade had no idea Garrett was capable of such underhanded manipulation. Think of him? How could she do anything else? Especially when he sat directly opposite her. She couldn’t avoid looking at him and the half-grin he sported whenever he caught her staring. Jade swore as soon as Nate taught her how, she was going to kick Garrett’s ass.

  The two were so busy they didn’t notice Callie watching them. Well, what do you know? Garrett and Jade. After that long speech about why they wouldn’t suit, she should have felt foolish. Instead, she was delighted. And curious. It was obvious this wasn’t their first meeting. How long had this been going on? How far had it gone? Damn, damn, damn. The unanswered questions would drive her crazy. Still, she was a mother first. She wouldn’t poke at Garrett for information. The friend in her wanted Jade to confide. Until she did so voluntarily, Callie would keep her suspicions to herself. Oh, it was hard keeping her nose out of their business when she loved them both. Then a thought occurred to her. If she let things develop naturally, who knew? By spring, she might be helping to plan a wedding.

  Grinning, Callie looked around the table at her big, happy family. Life was good. Picking up the serrated knife sitting by the lasagna, she asked, “Who’s hungry?”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  JADE SPENT A restless night. What little sleep she did get was filled with hot vignettes starring Garrett in various stages of undress. She would be much better off if she didn’t know what it was like to be held next to his naked body. She didn’t need an imagination. She knew what the real thing felt like.

  Jade was determined to never be with Garrett again. Her resolve might slip when she was sleeping — in the light of day, she couldn’t let herself weaken. No matter how many times he whispered sexily into her ear or gave her looks that melted her insides, she couldn’t waver. Could she?

  No! No! No!

  Screaming the words in her head, didn’t make Jade believe them. She wanted Garrett. More than that, she missed him. While the sex was phenomenal, it was afterward, when he held her. When they talked about everything and anything. An intimacy to those moments was new to her. Now that she knew what it was like to connect with another person on such a deep level, knowing she would never have it again made her want to weep.

  What she needed to do was pull herself together. Stop thinking about what couldn’t be. The best way Jade knew to do that was to immerse herself in work.

  Party planner? Event specialist? Whatever she called herself, Jade knew one thing. No one was going to hire her if they didn’t know she was open for business. Word of mouth was terrific. To get people to talk, someone had to start the conversation.

  Jade’s advantage over someone just starting out, were the hundreds of names, numbers, and emails that were already at her fingertips. Finally, all the years she was Anson Marlow’s hostess paid off.

  Energized, Jade decided her first course of action would be to build a website. True, most of her Beverly Hills contacts were not big cyber-surfers. But their assistants were. Besides, she wanted to expand beyond the closed off group she had mingled in all of her life. A new world was out there, or at least new to her, that needed her services. She planned on tapping into it.

  Jade spent the rest of the day getting the bare bones of her site put together. Deciding on a name was easy. She wanted something simple, yet elegant. Jade was a distinctive enough name — easily remembered. Why not use it? She wasn’t going to capitalize on her Marlow connection or her own notoriety. Once word got out about who the Jade was in Jade Events, it would be impossible to keep away the rubberneckers and reporters. However, that would die down. If she dealt with the negative straight out, she hoped it wouldn’t be long before the business was all she had to deal with.

  For the first time, Jade found a practical use for her background in graphic design. She delighted in fooling around with different logo ideas. She discarded anything that was too complicated or too simple. Again, she wanted elegant and distinctive. The gold intertwined J and E that she finally settled on was perfect.

  Jade rolled her shoulders, loosening the tightened muscles. Two-thirty? Could that be right? No wonder her muscles felt stiff. It was eight o’clock when she sat down in front of her newly purchased laptop. She had worked all morning, missing lunch.

  Standing, Jade decided her body needed a workout before she filled her stomach. Sweet, patient Nate made it clear. If she was serious about protecting herself, she needed to work on her strength and conditioning.

  The yoga she did every other day was a good foundation. After she was released from the hospital and her wounds were almost healed, she started an online course. She didn’t have to go out or deal with anyone. In the privacy of her own bedroom, she learned how to center her thoughts through breathing. The moves were basic, yet still they worked wonders whenever Jade’s thoughts would wander into dark territory. Long, deep breaths. Center her careening emotions. Yoga, along with her therapist, turned out to be a lifesaver.

  And Garrett. Jade sighed as she changed into her running gear. Why did she always come back to him? Because. If the yoga centered her, and her therapist helped put things into perspective, Garrett brought her back to life. Without him, she wouldn’t be out of her father’s house, starting a new business. She owed him so much. Which was why she wouldn’t give into her selfish impulses. Garrett didn’t need the headaches she would inevitably bring him. She might need him — he didn’t need her.

  Jade left the building, turning right. She already knew the route she would take. It was exactly one mile to the shoe repair shop and back. She could handle that distance. Slow and easy. If she needed to walk every now and then, that was fine. Eventually, she would build up to running the entire way. A little faster, then a little farther. Endurance. That was her goal.

  She didn’t break any speed records, but she managed to jog the entire distance at a steady pace. Maybe all that yoga was good for more than steadying her n
erves. Tomorrow she would hit the weights. Callie insisted Jade come to the Landis house to use their gym instead of joining a fitness club. They could be workout buddies. It was easier to stay motivated, Callie told her, when you had someone to push you.

  Jade waved at the doorman as he held open the front door to her building. Feeling ambitious, she decided to take the stairs. She only made it six floors before dragging her butt to the elevator. Hey, that was six floors more than she did yesterday. Little steps that would lead to bigger ones.

  She needed a shower, then something to eat. Jade loved having an appetite. Looking forward to planning her meals. Making shopping lists. Even before she was stabbed, food didn’t hold much appeal. She would skip meals, never making them. So when she came home from the hospital, having lost her appetite altogether, it didn’t take long for her to be reduced to a rack of skin and bones.

  Once again, thank you, Garrett. He made eating fun. Before Jade knew it, she was twenty pounds heavier. Her doctor encouraged her to add another ten. With the muscle she hoped to pack on in the next few months, she might meet that goal.

  Jade did a mental inventory of what she had in the kitchen. Milk, bread, and the leftovers from last night’s dinner that Callie insisted she take home. A few pieces of fruit. All good, but she was in the mood for something else. A big, fat, greasy hamburger. With French fries. She wasn’t familiar enough with the neighborhood yet to know where to get a good one or who delivered, so Jade called the front desk. Bruno was on duty. He claimed to have a study of every restaurant worth knowing. After she had hung up, she was convinced he at least could share a wide variety of places. She would judge for herself if Manny’s Burger Palace truly boasted the best in the city. Jade called in her order. They assured her she had at least half an hour, so she headed for the shower.

  The large stall with its multiple spraying jets washed away the sweat from Jade’s body. She closed her eyes, running her soap-slicked hands across the zigzag of scars. Since moving into the loft, Jade no longer obsessed with how they looked. She didn’t turn away if she caught her reflection in the mirror.

  Last night, after returning home, she stood before the full-length mirror in the closet. She removed her clothes, refusing to turn away from her image. She wasn’t horrified by what she saw. It wasn’t as if she had never looked before. However, this was the first time she looked with a different perspective.

  Before she was a victim, she saw the marks on the body as something to be ashamed of — to cower from. This time, she saw them for what they were. A crazy quilt badge of honor. Jade Marlow was a survivor. A cold, unfeeling monster for a father. An abusive marriage. Almost starving herself to death because she didn’t care enough to eat the bare minimum required to sustain her body. After all that, she was still standing. Standing hell. She was thriving.

  Jade took a pair of jeans from the built-in mahogany dresser, slipping them over a scrap of lace that could almost pass for underwear. Not bothering with a bra, she pulled on a bright yellow camisole. Her hair was still damp but since she wasn’t planning on going out, she decided to let it dry naturally. She was just finishing rubbing in a lightly scented cream over her arms when the doorbell sounded.

  Grabbing the wallet from her bag so she could reimburse Bruno, Jade hurried to the door.

  “Perfect timing. I’m so hungry I could eat the bag.”

  “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

  “Garrett.”

  “Let me in, honey. There’s little sadder than cold fries.”

  “Then hand me the bag and leave.”

  “Where’s your curiosity? Don’t you want to know why I’m here? Or how I got past the doorman?”

  “I know why you’re here. And I assume you tipped the doorman an outrageous amount.”

  Realizing Jade wasn’t going to invite him, Garrett squeezed by her. At least she didn’t yell, You shall not pass. Then again, he didn’t know very many women who quoted Gandalf. That was more of a geeky guy thing.

  “Give the guy some credit, Jade. The doorman can’t be bribed. He would lose his job in a heartbeat.”

  With a sigh, Jade closed the door. She followed Garrett to the kitchen, watching as he took out a sheet tray before turning on the oven. He unwrapped the burger and fries, depositing them on the tray, before sliding it into the oven. He didn’t hesitate or ask her where anything was. Almost as though…

  “You’ve been here before. And take that back out. I’m hungry.”

  “I don’t want it to get cold while we talk.” Garrett took a bottle of white wine from the refrigerator. The glasses were to his right. Again, something he already knew.”

  “This is your loft, isn’t it?”

  “Mmm.” Garrett handed her the half-full goblet. “I bought it six years ago. When I decided to build a house in Laurel Canyon, I put this place on the market.”

  “Callie didn’t tell me.”

  “Because she was afraid you’d say no if you knew a family member owned it. Was she wrong?”

  “I… Maybe. I don’t know.”

  Jade felt like her brain was bouncing around like a half-inflated rubber ball. Her thoughts were jumbled — sluggish, instead of sharp. Garrett, the man she spent all day telling herself she had to avoid, stood five feet away. Handsome, sexy. Irresistible. Why did life have to be so unfair?

  “I want you to leave, Garrett.” Good. Firm voice, full of conviction. “I don’t care if you own this place. I’ll move out if you want. If I stay, you have to respect my wishes.”

  “Tell me about your wishes, Jade.”

  Garrett circled around her like a panther stalking its prey. Jade felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Not out of fear. He would never hurt her. However, he could easily break her willpower. One look into his clear, silver eyes and she could feel her resolve crumbling.

  “You know what I want. I told you this; we are over. I thanked you.” The moment she said the words Jade knew they sounded lame.

  “Ah, yes. The text. Not cool, Jade.” Garrett gaze sharpened. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “You’re angry.”

  “Don’t you think I have the right to be,” Garrett asked. “Only a few hours after one of the best nights of my life, I get a message basically saying, thank you and fuck off.”

  Jade winced.

  “You seem surprised,” he continued. “What made you think this was over?”

  “Last night,” Jade said. “You were so… calm.”

  “I couldn’t make a scene in front of my family. Trust me, when I saw Nate with his arms around you, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut.”

  “Nate?” Jade was confused. “He was showing me some basic self-defense.”

  “He’s a man. He was touching you.” Garrett leaned closer. “Brother or not, I don’t want anyone else touching you.”

  “Garrett…”

  “You don’t know how to respond to that, do you?” Garrett stepped closer. “Part of you wants to protest. How dare I presume to tell you who can and can’t touch you? Then there’s the other part of you.”

  “What part?” Jade asked breathlessly.

  “The part that likes it.”

  “Stay back,” Jade warned, inching away. She had to stop when her back literally came up against a brick wall. “Nate showed me how to down a man with one kick.”

  “That rarely works when you warn your victim ahead of time.” Garrett put a hand on each side of her head. “I could never hurt you, Jade.”

  “I know.” Her eyes met his. Stormy gray. His emotions were as turbulent as hers.

  “It does occur to me, though, that’s it’s time to stop treating you with kid gloves.” He moved, brushing her chest with his. “You left fragile behind some time ago. I think I was too close to notice. You’re stronger, aren’t you, honey? You don’t need to be petted like a wounded bird.”

  “No.” Jade felt mesmerized. Between his voice. The words he spoke. His eyes. She was falling. No,
not falling. This was completely consensual. She was going to jump. The hell with the consequences.

  “I want to be treated like a woman, Garrett. I can take care of myself. No one will ever again take my choices away.”

  “Then tell me what you want.”

  Garrett’s lips were so close she felt the breath of every word he spoke. Warm, sweet. Tempting.

  Keeping her eyes locked on his, Jade took the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head, daring him to look. She had no safety net this time. The bright afternoon light filled the room. There was no camera to switch off. Garrett wasn’t hundreds of miles away. It was time to let him really see her. Every inch. Every flaw.

  Less than a heartbeat later, Garrett dropped to his knees, level with her stomach. Silently, he wrapped his arms around her hips. He rested his cheek against her scarred flesh, simply holding on.

  Jade closed her eyes, savoring the feel of him rubbing a day’s growth of stubble across her skin. It was a familiar feeling. Garrett would do the same thing in that darkened motel room. She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him away. She slowly opened her eyes.

  “Thank you.” Garrett said the words against her stomach, the brush of his lips making her shiver.

  Jade watched as Garrett traced each scar, first with his eyes, then his fingers. Finally with his mouth. Somehow, it was healing and erotic at the same time.

  “I wish I could take away the pain — erase it from your memory.”

  Garrett bathed the longest, deepest scar with his tongue. Jade gasped. He seemed to have the power to give her so much pleasure, the pain no longer mattered. When he unbuttoned her jeans, finding the very edges of the indelible marks, she felt strength in her legs begin to falter. As though sensing what she was feeling, Garrett rose to his feet, his hands lifting her legs until they were wrapped firmly around his waist.

  “I’ll never let you fall, Jade,” Garrett whispered near her ear. He bit the lobe, somehow finding the perfect balance between pain and pleasure. “Hold on. This is going to be fast and hard. Are you with me?”