by Rhonda Bowen
“Deacon!” She called his name a few times, but there was no answer. People looked at her inquisitively, but no one stopped to question her. She kept walking, keeping her eyes peeled for a tall black man with low-cropped hair, a black leather jacket, and spotless men’s Jimmy Choos. When she had almost given up hope, she saw a figure staggering slowly ahead. He paused awkwardly then took a few more uncertain steps.
“Deacon!” He didn’t respond. But when she grabbed him and turned him around, she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Deacon, geez, I’ve been looking for you!”
He stared at her through glazed, reddened eyes.
“The limo,” he slurred. “I wasssss looking forrrr the limo.”
JJ grimaced as his hot, alcohol-tainted breath hit her full force. He looked a hot mess, not like the superstar on posters plastering the city or even like the man who had performed for a crowd of thousands just hours earlier.
“It’s gone,” JJ said gently. “Sabrina took the limo.”
“Sabrina.” His eyes grew dark. “She . . . she . . .”
“It’s okay,” JJ said, realizing he was struggling with his words.
“Why don’t we get you sobered up a little and then you can tell me the rest?”
Deacon nodded. “Okay.”
JJ stumbled a little as he threw a heavy hand over her shoulder. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. What now? She could go back to the club, but she didn’t think she could carry the majority of Deacon’s weight that far.
She looked around for somewhere open. Across the street, a restaurant. It looked empty and someone was sweeping out front. But maybe she would have some luck. She half dragged Deacon across the road, listening to him mumble about Sabrina and losing the limo.
When she got to the restaurant, there was a couple sitting inside at a table and a man at the counter. She stumbled in and settled Deacon in the nearest chair, glad to have his solid 210 pounds off her shoulders.
“Ma’am, we’re about to close.”
She looked up at the waiter and gave him her best pleading look. “I know,” she said. “But I just need a cup of coffee for my friend. Just to sober him up a little while our transportation comes.”
The waiter pursed his lips.
“Just ten minutes and a cup of coffee,” JJ pleaded. “That’s all I need and I’ll be out of here.”
The waiter sighed. “He’s gonna need black.”
JJ breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes. Thank you.”
Once he was gone, she turned back to Deacon and found him with his head on the table, snoring. She sighed. Maybe that was best, for now anyway.
Pulling out her cell phone, she called Miles. He hadn’t been at the club, so she assumed he had been the one to take Sabrina back to the hotel. Chances are he would be sober enough to come get them. Cyrus, the other half of Deacon’s detail, had been knocking back shots the last time she saw him, and as such, was not a preferred driver of transportation.
JJ was sure the phone rang about a dozen times with no answer. She would have thought she had the wrong number, except it was programmed into her phone and she had used it just the day before.
“Speak to me.”
“Miles, this is JJ. Where are you?”
“Back at the hotel,” Miles said, his voice low and hushed. “Look, this isn’t really a good time . . .”
“Yeah, for me either,” JJ said. “I’m sitting across from a passed-out Deacon. We’re in a restaurant near the club and they’re about to throw us out. I need you to come get him.”
JJ wouldn’t normally have taken that tone with Miles, but as Deacon’s employee, he should have been the one carting a drunk Deacon around, not JJ.
“Whoa, Deacon’s with you? Why isn’t he at G with Cyrus? He was supposed to keep an eye on him while I took Sabrina back.”
“Look, we can talk about who did what later. Right now, I need you to come pick him up.”
She heard Miles curse on the other end. “JJ, I can’t. I got Sabrina, and if she knew I was leaving to pick up Deacon . . .”
JJ couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Miles wouldn’t leave because it would upset Sabrina? Was something going on between Miles and Sabrina? JJ shuddered, deciding immediately that she didn’t even want to know. This tour group was more twisted than she had imagined.
“Miles, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Sabrina, and I don’t want to. But at the end of the day Deacon is your boss, and if that’s the case, then shouldn’t he be your first priority?”
There was a pause on the other end.
“Not everything is the way it seems, JJ,” he said finally, his voice dropping even lower.
A chill ran through JJ as Miles’s words sank in. Now that was a cryptic message if she had ever heard one.
“Look, I won’t be able to leave, but I’m gonna have someone come get you. Message me your location.”
“Okay,” JJ said, still too stunned from Miles’s previous statement to offer much more.
“Just sit tight. Someone will be there,” he said. “Oh, and JJ?”
“Yeah?”
“Good looking-out for Deacon,” he said. “Lots of people would have said it wasn’t their business and left him out there. And maybe it would have worked out and he would be fine. But I’m glad you didn’t let that happen.”
“Thanks for taking care of this for me,” JJ said. “I’ll let you know when we make it to the hotel.”
By the time JJ ended the call and messaged Miles the address to the restaurant, the waiter was back with a tall cup of steaming black coffee and a glass of water. JJ managed to revive Deacon and have him take small sips from the coffee until it cooled enough for him to drink more. The couple who had been occupying a table when JJ came in had left, and JJ could feel the waiter’s eyes on her, wondering when she would do the same.
“Don’t worry,” Deacon slurred, almost face down in the coffee cup. “We’ll leave them a big tip.”
It was the first fairly coherent sentence Deacon had put together since she found him, and it gave her hope. Just as the waiter was about to approach her again, a black SUV with tinted windows pulled up out front. JJ recognized it as the one Miles had driven Deacon around in earlier that day.
“Time to go,” she said, getting up and digging in her purse for enough to cover the half-finished coffee and the waiter’s time. Before she could, however, Deacon pulled out five twenties and dropped them on the table.
“Let’s go,” he said, nodding to the door.
Despite the apparent return of his sobriety, he still needed JJ’s help to get him out the door and to the car. With the driver’s help she got him inside, where he almost immediately passed out again.
“Man, he is totally smashed,” the driver said after buckling him in.
“Yup,” JJ said, getting in the backseat beside Deacon. She’d had enough experiences with Lissandra to know that she needed to monitor Deacon so he didn’t end up choking on his vomit. That would definitely void everything else she had done thus far to find him and make sure he ended up in his hotel room instead of face down in a gutter.
JJ let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as the vehicle pulled away from the curb. She closed her eyes and wondered how her amazing night had turned into this. This man who had been a career icon, an open door to her future, a mentor even, was now lying drunk beside her, drooling down one cheek, without a friend in the world to help him. What would America think if they saw this? She shook her head. Indeed, all that glitters is not gold.
They took a back entrance to the hotel. JJ had to fight her anxiety and accompany Deacon up the private elevator to his suite. Miles’s friend, the driver, who remained unnamed, seemed to know exactly where he was going. JJ began to wonder what they would do when they got to Deacon’s room, but her worry was unfounded. Before they could even knock, the door to the suite opened and Miles was standing on the other side.
“We’ll take it from here, JJ
,” Miles said. “You’ve already done more than anyone could ask.”
JJ shrugged. “Just wanted to make sure he was okay.”
Miles nodded and helped Deacon inside. “It’s appreciated.”
JJ nodded. She glanced at them one more time before turning and heading back to the elevator, the only access off the floor. It was only when she was back in her own room that the exhaustion of the night hit her full force. As she changed out of her clothes into sleepwear, the questions that she had been probing all night floated to the surface again. What had Miles meant about things not being what they seemed? What was the hold Sabrina seemed to have over all of them? What was with everyone’s indifference? But the biggest one was the question she had for herself: Was this what her life would be like in this industry? Is this what fame looked like? And if so, was she willing to accept that?
JJ was still pondering that question as she closed her eyes, but instead of answers, all she got was unsettled, troubled sleep.
Chapter 23
“He did what?”
“He sang my song onstage,” JJ said, grinning even as she relayed the story to her sister. “He played it too, kinda Stevie Wonder style. I did backup on the guitar and harmony on the vocals for a few spots.”
“Wow, JJ, that’s amazing,” Sydney said, her excitement palpable across the distance. “I can’t believe this. Deacon Hill sang your song! Dang, I wish I had been there. I would have screamed through the whole thing.”
JJ laughed, enjoying her sister’s enthusiasm as she sat poolside enjoying an early breakfast. Despite the exhaustion from the night before, she hadn’t been able to sleep past seven. And with nothing else to do until it was time to head out on the road with the tour team, she had changed into a swimsuit and come down to the hotel pool to do a few laps and have breakfast. The bright sunshine lighting up the clear sky had energized her and motivated her to catch up with her calls while enjoying the last of her meal. Sydney had been first on her list.
“That must have been the best night of the tour so far,” Sydney said.
“Yeah, it was,” JJ said.
JJ bit her tongue and decided to hold back the less pleasant details of the night. Although they hadn’t spoken for almost two weeks, as soon as Sydney answered JJ’s call it had been like nothing had ever happened between them. She had been nothing but happy to hear from JJ. They were having such a good conversation thus far, JJ didn’t want to do anything or bring up any subjects that might spoil it.
“Anyway, how are things with you?” JJ asked, plowing ahead. “You pick a date for the wedding yet?”
JJ knew she had hit a subject of interest to Sydney when her sister immediately started gabbing about all the preparations she and Hayden had started making for the wedding.
“We are thinking six months or so from now,” Sydney said. “You know, give Sheree time to settle in with the baby and be recovered enough to go out. Hayden wants her to be a part of the wedding. He wants her to feel a part of our new family.”
“And you?” JJ asked. “How do you feel about that?”
Sydney paused. “I think it would be good. Sheree seems a lot different from before. I visited her a few times in the hospital and I can tell that she’s really trying. There’s a lot of water under the bridge between us, but we both love Hayden, so we have to try and make it work.”
“She’s not a bad person,” JJ said. “I think she’s just not used to having people care about her. I don’t know the details, she hasn’t told me much, but I think things were pretty unstable for her growing up, and she had to look out for herself. Having your guard up like that can make you hurt others when you’re only trying to protect yourself.”
“Speaking of hurting others, you will never guess who came to visit Sheree,” Sydney said.
“Dean?”
She heard Sydney gasp. “Yes! How did you guess?”
JJ smiled. “I had a feeling. He wants to know about that baby. As much as he’s hurting over what Sheree did, he doesn’t want to miss out on the chance to be a part of that kid’s life—you know, like how Dad did after the divorce? We almost never saw him, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember,” Sydney said. “That actually makes sense.”
“He just needed time to get over the initial pain of seeing her again,” JJ said. “He’ll come around, as long as we don’t push him.”
“Listen to you, all deep and perceptive,” Sydney said. “This is the JJ that I remember. I miss you, girl.”
JJ sighed. “Yeah. I miss me too.”
The sisters chatted a few minutes more about work and family goings-on. It was the best conversation JJ had had with her sister in months. Maybe what they needed was some space to be able to appreciate each other more.
In the middle of a story about Lissandra’s latest adventure, a call came in on the other line. When JJ saw who it was she switched over to put her new caller on hold.
“I gotta go, Syd,” JJ said, when she switched back over to her sister.
“The Deacon Hill machine ready to suck you back in, eh?”
JJ paused. “Uh, no.”
“Who then?” Sydney asked.
Another pause. “It’s Simon.”
“Simon?”
“Dr. Massri.”
“Oh, so he’s Simon now?” Sydney asked, her voice laced with amusement.
“Syd, don’t even go there.”
“So you’re ready to kick me, your flesh and blood, off the phone so you can talk to Simon.”
“I’ve been talking to you for over an hour!”
“So is this a regular thing for you now?” Sydney asked, her curiosity piqued. “Is this like your daily call from Simon?”
JJ rolled her eyes at the way her sister kept saying his name. “No, he just calls me to keep me updated on how Sheree is doing.”
“He doesn’t call me!”
“Sydney!”
But it was too late, her sister was already dying with laughter on the other end.
“He’s still there. I have to go,” JJ said.
Sydney could barely contain her laughter. “Tell Simon I said hello!”
JJ let out a breath as she clicked over.
“Hey, Simon,” JJ said. After hearing Sydney do it so many times, she had to stop herself from saying his name in the same tone as her sister.
“Hey, yourself,” he said, a smile in his voice. “How are you?”
JJ grinned. “Good. Great, actually.”
Especially now that she was talking to him, she thought.
“You sound great,” Simon said. “Definitely not as stressed as you did two days ago.”
That had been Friday evening between rehearsals and sound check. After a hectic week of traveling and suffering Sabrina’s mood swings, JJ had been more than a little on edge.
“Yeah, I just got done talking to my sister. It was the best conversation we’ve had in ages. On top of that, we had a great show last night,” she said, settling back into her chair. “Deacon sang one of my songs.”
Why had she told him that? She hadn’t planned to. It just sort of slipped out.
“One of your songs?” Simon asked, pleasant surprise tipping into his voice. “You mean something you wrote yourself?”
“Yes,” JJ said with a laugh. “The song from my audition, actually. He said he loved it and wanted to sing it on the show. We had been jamming out—singing hymns, of all things—when he just started playing my song and told me he wanted to do it. We barely had time to rehearse. But the performance was amazing.”
“That’s incredible,” Simon said.
“I know,” JJ responded, enjoying the way enthusiasm was slipping through his normally calm demeanor.
“Judith Isaacs, look at you,” he said with admiration. “Guess you’ve adjusted, not feeling as lost as before.”
JJ let out a sigh. “For those moments on the stage, yes. But everything else is so insane. Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for this life.”
“Wha
t do you mean?” Simon asked. She could almost see his brows furrowing in concern.
Instead of filtering like she had with her sister, she told Simon everything, from the coke snorting at the club to Deacon storming out drunk, to her odd conversation with Miles on the phone. After all, he had already seen her at her worst, hopped up on caffeine pills and energy drinks. There was little left to hide from him.
“Sometimes I feel like I’ve stepped into this alternate universe,” she said. “All this crazy stuff is going on around me and no one seems to care. To everyone else it seems okay.”
Simon was silent on the other end, as if giving JJ space to think through everything she had just shared with him.
“You think you could live with that?” he asked after a few moments, voicing the exact same question she had been asking herself the night before.
“I don’t know.” JJ closed her eyes and rested her head back. “Guess my confusion is back.”
She heard him pause on the other end. “Have you been praying about it?”
“I have, actually,” JJ said.
“And?”
“And I still don’t know,” she said in defeat. “A lot of things have happened to make me think, make me question. But the truth is, I just don’t know, Simon.”
“You will,” he said. “In time, you will.”
There was a pause on the line and JJ remembered their last moments together in the airport. Since then, the calls had started going not just from Simon to JJ but just as often from JJ to Simon. Furthermore, neither of them had bothered to pretend that the calls were just about Sheree anymore. There were times when they spoke and Sheree wasn’t mentioned at all. But as to what they were doing with their new friendship and the unspoken tension that crackled between them—there had been no talk about that.
“When will I see you again?” Simon asked suddenly.
“We get a weeklong break after Atlanta,” JJ said without hesitating. “I should be back in a little over a week.”
“Good,” he said.
“Good?” JJ asked.
She heard him chuckle. “Yes, good.”
“Why good?” she ventured hopefully.
“Because I need to see how my patient is doing, whether she’s been following doctor’s orders,” he said.
