Embracing Us (An Embracing Series)

by Delisa Lynn

  “Bitch, quit drooling over my husband. Let’s go, then lunch?”

  “Whatever you want, preggers.” She says as she smacks my ass. We ride to the courthouse together. I would like to tell Megan about what’s going on, but I decide to wait a while.

  Of course, on the way to the courthouse, there is a damn train. There are always trains in this area, but lately they have been awful. I normally leave an hour or so early, just in case. But today is just one of the days, where you want to just crawl back in the bed.

  It’s been a month since Lila, has admitted everything to me, God it hurt me so fuckingbad.We stayed at the resort for another day. Just talking and trying to figure out what we are going to do about baby bean. She is five months, and showing, we couldn’t keep it from everyone any longer. We told the girls and the rest of the family. Still not sure, if Brody will run back and tell Evan. Unfortunately we will have to see him at the wedding. It’s customary for the Best Man and the Matron of Honor to walk hand in arm together. I’m not comfortable with this at all.

  We have an appointment with the doctor today, we’re going to ask how the DNA testing works. I pray to God every day that my baby bean doesn’t have Evan’s blood running through his or her veins.

  “Hey beautiful, you ready to see if baby bean is a boy or a girl?” I say as I pull my wife in for a hug. She is even more beautiful when she is pregnant, she has a glow that takes your breath away. The way her body looks; her curves now curvier, and her breasts and ass are fuller.

  “I’m so ready, I hope that they can tell today. If not, I’ll be really crushed. We need to start getting the nursery ready and mom wants to start planning a baby shower, ever since I told her that’s all she talks about. I know she is going to drive me crazy with the plans.”

  “I know, my mom has already asked about it, too. I honestly think they had me on three way but didn’t let me know what they were up too. The two together are very dangerous.”

  “Oh stop it, Liam. I’m glad our mothers have become best friends, I know my mom loves hanging out with her and they love taking the girls shopping. They remind me of Addison and me.” She says, as I see a tear roll down her cheek.

  “Hey, no tears. We will stop by and tell Ads baby bean’s gender as soon as we find out, okay?” I say as I pull her into me. I miss Addison so much, I can only imagine how Lila misses her, although it’s been going on five years, it still hurts as bad as it did the day I found out.

  “Thank you babe, I would like that. I need to stop off and get her a Vanilla Bean Frappe from Starbucks. I always take one when I go there, you know that was her favorite. For the longest time, I couldn’t drink them after she died. But, then I thought, every time I have one it will be for her. That was our thing; shopping and Starbucks, and movies.”

  “I know love, you two were inseparable. Although, I know you love Nikki and she is your best friend, I know that you won’t feel a bond like you had with Addison. You know she knew about our first night together, I didn’t even have to tell her. She knew as soon as she saw me. I just laughed at her. Hell, she knew I was madly in love with you.”

  We arrive at Dr. Brewster’s office a little early. This wasn’t the same OB we saw when Lila was pregnant with the girls. This office was closer and we’ve heard nothing but great things about the doctor and nurses here. We walk in and in hand. Lila checks in and they have her to start filling out paperwork, they don’t use pen and paper anymore, each patient uses a laptop to fill everything out. Seems neat enough, but I bet a pain in the ass if the computers go down.

  I can tell Lila was crying, but I’m not sure what was wrong. She had big huge tears streaming down her cheeks. She looks up at me and says, “They are asking questions about the father.”

  I take it from her, and place one hand on hers and use the other to fill out my information on the forms. I use the best of my knowledge to answer all the questions with my family history. This baby is mine, even if that goddamn test says otherwise. I fill everything, and hand the laptop back to her to finish the rest.

  “Thank you Liam, I…umm…I’m sorry that, I did this to you…us. I love you more than anything you know that right?” she says as she lays her head on my shoulder. She finishes the electronic form and I takes it to the receptionist, once Li hands it to her, she sent us in another room.

  “Lila Carls-Ellis, my name is Brandy and I will be your medical assistant today, if you will follow me. I will need to take your vitals, and get your height and weight as well as a urine sample.”

  I just sit there running my hands through my hair. I have so much shit going through my mind, hell I can’t even think straight. No one else knows that I might not be the father. I think Ashton knows something because he and I have been pretty close since I came home from the Army. He started to ask me questions last week when I told him we were expecting, but then he just congratulated me. He has his own problems to worry about.

  She walks back into the room, the medical assistant asks her to undress and put a paper gown on when she steps out. I can tell she is as nervous as I am. But I need to let her know that I’m here for her. I sit in the chair next to the bed, and star rubbing her stomach. She still has tears in her eyes, she touches my hand as I run it up and down her baby bump.

  “Look at me beautiful, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I will always be here, never doubt that, Lila. You hear me, let me know you understand.” She gives me a nod, and takes a deep breathe. “Mine. You, the baby bean, and the girls are all mine.” I growl.

  She lets out a small gasp and says, “Thank you, for loving me even though I fucked everything up.” I kiss her forehead and hand her a couple tissues. Just as we start getting comfortable, Brandy walks back in the room. She puts a monitor on Lila’s belly and a smile spreads across all three of our faces.

  “Well Mr. and Mrs. Ellis that is a strong sounding heartbeat the baby has. Are the two of you ready to see the baby? Do you want to know the sex today? This will be the last ultra sound we do.”

  “Yes, ma’am we are ready, and we would like to know the gender.” Lila says as she looks at me and smiles. The nurse squirts jelly on Lila’s stomach and then runs a wand over it while she pushes buttons on a keyboard. I hold on to L’s hand and we both notice the beautiful baby on the screen, it’s no longer a bean.

  “Well, someone is surely big and healthy. If you look here you can see he has his thumb in his mouth, and you see here. He is definitely a boy.” She says as she looks over at the two of us who are now both in tears.

  “Baby, we’re having a boy. You see that, the girls are going to be so happy.” I say as I kiss Lila, I can see that she’s as happy as I am, but I can also see that she’s so unsure about everything. I bend down and whisper in her ear, “It’s okay, he is ours. He is an Ellis, no matter what.”

  “Thank you, Liam,” is all she got out before she starts crying. The nurse hands us some tissues, she wipes Lila’s stomach off and says the doctor would be in shortly, to talk to us about everything.

  We just sit there hugging each other, we’re having a boy. I have to regroup my thoughts about everything I want to ask Dr. Brewster. A young woman walked in the room, she doesn’t look old enough to be a doctor though. She looks through the electronic thingy and looks over at my wife and me.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Tanill Brewster. Looks like we have a healthy baby boy here.” She says as she shakes both of our hands. “Do you guys, have any questions or concerns that you would like to discuss with me today?”

  I can feel Lila shaking, next to me. I place my hand on her shoulder and then pull her closer to me. She looks down at me and I shake my head. I clear my throat and look at the doctor and say words I wish I would have never have to say, “I have some questions, is there a way to perform a DNA test to determine the baby’s paternity? His father may be another man, but we want to be sure before we mention this to him.”

  “Yes, there is a test that we can administer. Lila is far enough along that we
would be able to determine paternity. If you don’t want to know now, we can also perform the test after the baby is born. It would be up to you to decide if and when you want the test performed. How we would perform the test now? We would take a sample of the placenta, this would be no harm to the baby or Lila what so ever, but there is a slight chance of a miscarriage. This test is what we perform to check for hereditary diseases that can affect the fetus.

  “We would then send the sample to the lab, along with a swab from the potential father’s cheek to determine if the DNA matches. This test is used often with a high rate of success, just to ease your mind, we can perform it today, or you can talk about it and make an appointment. If you wait until after the baby is born, we would of course do a swab test on the baby as well as the father in question. Do you have any questions about these test?”

  “If we did the cell sample, it wouldn’t hurt the baby at all, just the slight chance of a miscarriage?” I ask, although Dr. Brewster has already says it is slight, I would like to hear the answer again. Lila sits there staring at me, I don’t know if she isn’t comprehending or what is going through her head. I just squeeze her hand letting her know that I’m still on her side, it’s her decision not mine.

  “Lila, do you have any questions that you would like answered, before you make any decisions?” Dr. Brewster asks her. She walks over to Lila, and takes her hand in hers. And says, “There is nothing to worry about, this is normal. This happens to a lot of families. I don’t know the entire circumstances, but I can only go off of what I see here. I see that your husband loves you and is willing to do whatever it is you want to do. Take my card, call me anytime you have more questions. Day or not, I will answer as soon as I’m able.”

  “Th…Thank you doctor. I will talk everything over with my husband and make a choice. Is that okay?”

  “Perfectly fine with me, if you remember any questions call me; day or night. If I don’t answer, my service will, and I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.”

  “Thank you Dr. Brewster we really appreciate all of your help.” I say as I shake the young doctor’s hand. She leaves and Lila dresses, and then we head to Starbucks.

  After leaving the doctor’s office, we decide to go to the mall and then go to see Addison. Lila has been wanting to buy stuff for months. We go into Gymboree and Children’s Place and guy tons of baby boy clothes. Of course, I like everything she picks up. We end up picking out new baby furniture as well.

  Good thing there is a Buy-Buy-Baby in the mall parking lot, I think Li would have flipped if it wasn’t there. With the girls everything was pink, purple, and yellow. Now I finally get to pick this shit out. I chose tons of sport themed items; we get bottles, bibs, binkies, and blankets. A damn breast pump thingy, which isn’t sexy attached to my woman’s wonderful boobs, and a diaper genie, those damn things are awesome.

  We end up getting the girls some toys, like they really need them. But I can’t go home without my princesses anything, we get shirts that say I’m the big sis. They will love them, they’re already talking about being big sisters. We get AJ one that says my cousins are my best friends.

  “Lila, I’m starving lets grab lunch? Your choice.” I say looking around at all the restaurants. Oh hell, l know exactly what she was going to pick. Here it comes, I’m waiting for it and she just puts her finger to her chin.

  “Hmm, let’s see what baby bean is hungry for. I think we would like House of the Dragon. Right baby boy bean?” she says as she rubs her stomach. Damn her, I thought for sure she was going to say Chipotle.

  “Okay, I can go for Japanese. None of the squid shit though, baby bean won’t like it. And you won’t like it coming back up either.” I say with a chuckle.

  “Gross, I don’t eat that shit and you know it. I want some beef fried rice and noodles. Oh gawd, lots of noodles and an iced tea with lemon. Do you think they will have pickles? I need one right now. I’m so hungry.” She says as she munches on a bag of Funyuns from the mall vending machine.

  “Not sure, we can always ask. Who knows maybe they will even have some extra Funyuns.” She looks at me smiling, licking the Funyuns off of her fingers. I cock my head back laughing. We pile everything in the SUV and drive to the restaurant. I hear Lila on the phone, she was checking on the girls. Apparently our mothers had them at the mall, they must have went to the other one because we didn’t see them anywhere.

  “That was mom, they were at the mall in the valley. I guess the girls wanted to shop for the baby, so they have a surprise for us. I bet you a foot rub, that not only the girls bought stuff but our mothers also.”

  “Hmm, a foot rub? Is that all you have Mrs. Ellis? I thought you would want something more than that. So if I win, what will I get in return? I’m thinking something along the lines of you and me, and some baby oil.”

  “Jesus Liam, don’t talk like that you know my hormones are all sorts of crazy up right now, you have me dripping just by talking like that. Good God, you’re so fucking sexy.”

  She says as she bites her lip, and squirms in the seat next to me.

  “Oh hell, really? Because we can sure go take care of it right now, I will find the closest hotel. But then what about the bet?”

  “I’m hungry. We can eat, go to Starbucks, and go see Ads. Then we see who wins, if I win, I want that foot massage while I lay nude in a bed with you, and you nude too, of course. If you win, I will rub us both down in baby oil and we can do whatever you want.”

  “Whatever I want? Hmm, you sure you want to offer that? Because you know you have a freaky ass husband who loves taking you where I can.”

  “Uh-huh, whatever your heart desires. But I think I got this, I know our mothers. Now let’s eat. Food, baby bean needs his food and so does his momma.”

  LILA

  We go through the Starbucks drive-thru and Liam orders three Vanilla Bean Frappuccino’s with caramel drizzle. We drive to the cemetery, he and I both sit next to Addison’s tomb and drink our drinks. I know he misses her, hell, I can’t go a day without thinking about her. She was my sister, not by blood but by our rules, she was my bitch, my bestie, and just my fucking person. You know like Grey and Yang, on Greys Anatomy. That was our favorite show. We spent every Thursday night with a bag of popcorn, a gallon of sweet tea, and Twizzler’s, in our pj’s, that was us. Until some bastard decided to play God and take her and my niece or nephew.

  “Lila, I will walk around and let you have your time, and then I will. Okay?” Liam says as he kisses my cheek. I look at him and smile as he walks away. God, I love that man more than he would ever know.

  “Hey Ads, I miss you so damn much. Well I know you were there in my dream. I could see and hear you. Thank you for that, we brought you your favorite Frappuccino. They really don’t taste the same as they did when we got them daily. Ahh, as you probably know, I fucked up again. I let my damn vajayjay talk for me. Now this beautiful baby boy, I’m carrying may be Evan’s. Yeah, I slept with him, since Liam has been back. Three, well four times actually.

  “I don’t know why I love him so much, not as I do your cousin, but Ads I do love Evan. But I’ve made a promise to Liam and our marriage get him out of my head and out of my heart for good. I know you would understand. No one gets me, you did though. I miss you so much, I need you more than I have ever needed you, I can’t talk to Nikki the way we talked. It’s not the same.

  “Do you remember that time, we sat on your bed after Shane broke my heart and we pranked called his ass all night. I think we smoked two packs of Marlboro reds that night. We listened to Garth Brooks all night. Your mom was so pissed when she woke up and found all her cigarettes gone. I thought for sure she would find out it was us, but as always, Ashton took the fall.

  “You would be so proud of him Ads he is doing well and taking care of his family. He, your dad, and Liam all run the Winery together Liam works from home most of the time, and he enjoys it. Eric still misses you, I can tell. He has moved on, it took him a while and I still don’t
think he is too sure about her, but hell there will never be another Addison Ellis.

  “Well my little Addison Michelle Ellis, yeah, somehow she acts like you. God if she and Maddie act like we did; Liam and I are in some deep shit. I’m going to go, but remember to watch over us. We have some messed up shit going on, but you know, we Carls’s and Ellis’s always stick together. I love you my beautiful sister. Sending you butterfly kisses.”

  I walk away and sit in the SUV and cry why Liam sits back down and talks to Ads. I felt like I couldn’t breathe when I use to come here, how do you just forget about your best friend of twenty years? You don’t. I’ve learned to live without her and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever in my life had to do. My cell phone vibrated and I looked down to see it was Nikki. Perfect timing.

  “Hey bitchbag, how are you?” I ask laughing because I know exactly what her come back will be.

  “Hey hoebag, how are my girls doing?” she asks, my girls love their Aunt Nikki, she spoils them. She just sent them both OSU cheerleading outfits. I’m still not sure about telling her about the baby and it might not be Liam’s.

  “Their good, there with mine and Liam’s moms right now. I had a doc appointment, and we stopped by to see Addison. When you coming out for that wedding shopping?”

  “Everything okay? I worry about you, after everything you have been through. I know I need to fly out, how about next Friday? Will that weekend be good for you?”

  “Umm, yeah that’s great actually, and I need a spa day for sure. Well I will text you later this week, I love you sweets!” I say, as I sigh. I miss her and really wish I could talk to her about this right now.

  “I love you bitchface”

  Yeah, that’s how we know we love each other, we have always called each other names like that. Always will.

  I can see Liam wiping his eyes and walking towards me, he doesn’t go to the driver side; he comes to my side. He opens the door. I turn to face him, as he wraps his arms around my waist, I can feel his body tremble. He is crying harder than I’ve ever seen him cry.