Conduit

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  Evan walked down the hall, probably heading back to talk to Celia, when Lev cut in front of him.

  “Okay, maybe it’s not your call. I get that. But you know whose call it is. You’ve always paid more mind to who was in control because it affected you more. You’d know who to speak with. They’d have to listen to you because you’re so well-respected.” He shook his head in frustration. “Griffin accused me of just letting this happen. He never would’ve done that if I were still an angel because she’d still be here.”

  Evan frowned, and Lev knew the conversation was over. “You’re right; I do command their respect. But that doesn’t mean they’ll grant your request—or even listen. In fact, I don’t even want to know what kind of discussions went on up there as they regarded your becoming human in the first place. It’s something that, before you, simply wasn’t done and will likely never be done again.”

  “Father, please,” Lev begged, his eyes bright with desperation. “You above all others know that I am floundering in a mortal body and have been since I took this form, yet I do not regret it. All of this I have done for Elizabeth. Her reincarnations were my teachers, so that I might learn to love humans, and I have. You know I have. But what good is that if I fail her? What is the lesson in this kind of loss? Please help me find a way.”

  Evan’s shoulders sank. “Lev, I don’t think it’s possible. Once your transformation was complete, it was irreversible regardless of the outcome. I’m sorry.”

  Evan stared at his human son for a moment longer, sadness shadowing his face, then stepped determinedly past.

  “I guess that means you’re not even going to try, doesn’t it?”

  Evan stopped but didn’t turn, but still Lev could picture the sullen frown on his face.

  “I never said that. Just don’t get your hopes up.”

  “Don’t get my hopes up,” Lev repeated. He wanted to tell Evan his every hope had been taken with Elizabeth, and right now he was just trying to hold on to getting her back, knowing that he’d do anything he had to for her, including giving up this mortal life, but the words died inside of him.

  Chapter Six

  “This is pointless.” Lev tightened his grip around the sword hilt. “I’ve been using weapons for years, or have you forgotten that?” He glared at Evan.

  “No, I haven’t forgotten anything,” Evan replied as he stood near the back porch. The grass was wet with dew, and the sun had barely come up. “But during those years, you were an angel, not a mortal, Lev.”

  Griffin stepped outside, followed by Celia. All wore casual clothing, and when Griffin came near, he was suddenly given a sword of his own, something that, while Evan pushed it into his palm, Griffin had a hard time closing his fingers around.

  “What’s this for?” he asked, frowning at the cold steel blade.

  “Training.” Evan gave him a knowing look. “While Celia and I have supernatural powers, neither you nor Lev has, so we need to make sure you’re both ready for what’s coming.”

  Lev flipped his knife over and shook his head. “Okay, this is stupid; no mortal weapon is going to make an impact on any supernatural creature.”

  Evan took Lev’s knife. Holding it up in the bright sunlight, the blade shone far more brightly than it should have, a shimmer that suggested otherworldly power.

  “These blades have been blessed and will deal with the spirits we run into quite nicely.”

  He handed the blade back and peered at Griffin. “Let’s get started. I’ll demonstrate the maneuvers and let you two work on perfecting them.

  Lev gritted his teeth. “We’re wasting time! This isn’t going to get her back.”

  “We wouldn’t have to worry about getting her back if you’d done as you were supposed to,” Griffin muttered, shaking his head.

  “Enough,” Evan snapped, glaring. “We have to do this, so just be quiet and pay attention!”

  Evan regarded them both, waiting until he was sure they were focused. This done, he briefed them on the moves, partnering with Celia when necessary, the whole while keeping an eye on them, monitoring their progress. As he expected, Lev had no difficultly. In as much as his mind had been muddied by very human thoughts, Lev still moved fluidly, instinctively—much more so than Griffin. It wasn't that Griffin was clumsy; his issues simply stemmed from having always been strictly human, and that made him a slower.

  All in all, though, it didn't take long for them to get what Evan thought they needed before he stepped back and let them go at it, pitting their skills against one another, hoping he had things under control.

  Control, however, even under the best of circumstances, was all too often illusory.

  Neither said anything, but all the same Evan didn't like the expressions on their faces. There was a brutal antagonism to both, scarcely checked, one bordering on hatred. Still, Evan didn't want to broach the topic for fear it might not end up being an issue unless he gave it voice.

  As he watched them, Evan gave them room. At first, they circled one another warily, neither taking the initiative, which surprised him a little. Part of him had thought Lev’s human transformation might compel him to take the first swing, but he hung back, waiting, presumably waiting for an opportunity, some giveaway in his opponent’s expression.

  While Evan had been so carefully watching Lev, he realized too late he’d made a mistake.

  “Come on—what’re you waiting for?” Griffin growled, his voice low and menacing.

  “Meaning?” Lev’s tone matched his.

  “Meaning, if you hadn’t screwed up, Lizzie would still be here. Meaning, if you were still an angel, none of this would have happened.”

  Evan started to intercede but wasn’t quick enough. Lev lunged, and Griffin’s blade met his. For an instant, their eyes locked, and then they began the next round of attacks, each successive blow of steel on steel was more reckless and violent than the last.

  Although he thought Lev would have the upper hand, Griffin somehow managed to disarm him—to jar the blade from Lev’s grip and send it flying. Evan thought it might end there, but more quickly than he could’ve imagined, Lev reached not for his sword but instead for a metal upright that had once been part of a tent Jimmie had meant to throw out. Lev swung wildly, and before Evan could move, he’d lammed it into Griffin’s cranium, knocking him off balance. The unbridled fury on Lev’s face spoke volumes.

  “Enough!” Evan shouted. He moved to intercede, but Lev was already following through, and all that stopped him was Celia, who’d suddenly blindsided him, yanking the upright free before it could do any more damage.

  Even so, Lev advanced, committed.

  “Stop!” Celia demanded, shoving him back. “Get a grip!”

  Lev stopped, dazed.

  “What was that?” Griffin moaned, struggling to sit up. Celia knelt beside, trying to get a look.

  Lev blinked, as though coming out of a trance. He glanced at Evan and tried to move toward Griffin, but Celia had inserted herself between them. Even so, he’d managed to get enough of a look to realize he’d drawn blood.

  “What happened?” Lev muttered weakly. “Griffin is bleeding.”

  “You happened!” Griffin jerked from Celia’s aid.

  “I don’t get it,” Lev replied, uncertain.

  “You hit him with this,” Evan replied, indicating the upright.

  Lev went pale. “Why would I do that?”

  “Your humanness got the better of you,” Evan replied.

  Feeling very much ashamed, Lev had no idea what to say, so all that came out was, “I’m sorry. You okay?” It was lame, he knew, but what else was there?

  Sensing Celia wasn’t about to give up her efforts to clean his wound—he hadn’t even realized she had medical supplies until he saw them in her hand—Griffin finally just let her do her thing.

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your sister?” Yes, Griffin had been angry before, but now he was furious, which made Evan all the more concerned about how well the t
wo of them might manage the upcoming ordeal, especially since he was going to have to leave the two of them in Celia’s care while he went and checked the progress on getting backup angels.

  "While there’s a bit of bruising, I don't think the gash is going to need stitches, at least, which is one thing in our favor, however small." Celia offered her input without waiting for anyone to ask, figuring she might use the opportunity to diffuse some of the tension. From her peripheral vision, she watched Lev, wondering what his next move would be. Once human, he'd gotten so unpredictable Celia was really nervous about his future. It had been bad enough when there’d been no pressure resting on him. Now, amid all this chaos, his behavior was only getting worse.

  Lev glared at Evan. "This never would have happened had you done what I asked."

  Evan took a deep breath and forced a stoic calm to his demeanor. "Perhaps. But since that discussion, I’ve not had a chance to revisit the Upper Realm."

  "Of course you haven't," Lev muttered, his fingers curling into fists.

  "Well, something damned well better change before you kill someone," Griffin seethed, glaring dangerously at Lev.

  Evan stared first at Griffin and then at Lev before grabbing his son's arm. "A few words, Lev." While Evan failed to raise his voice, his eyes told the real story, and while Lev wanted to jerk away, the anger boiling in Evan's blue eyes kept him from it, at least until Evan led him through the back door and into the house.

  "What?"

  "It's you!" Evan snarled.

  "Fine. Yeah, okay, so it’s me. What else is new?” Lev growled, fuming. Still, despite the anger, he was worried about the damage he’d done—about having wigged out like that, something he hadn't meant to do, even though Griffin had goaded him into it and had had it coming.

  "You can't keep letting your emotions lead you down the path of recklessness like this. It will get people killed. Is that what you want?"

  "What I want is to go back to being an angel so I can do something—anything—to help. I’m no good like this.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Maybe I did get angry at Griffin for copping an attitude, but he was right about the fact that if I’d still been immortal, Elizabeth never would’ve fallen into this kind of danger.”

  Evan’s shoulders sank. “Perhaps not, but that’s neither here nor there. But for now, at least, you’ll have to learn how to help in this form because that’s all you can do.”

  “You have to help me change that!”

  “I told you I’ll try,” Evan replied. “But you acting like this isn’t helping. It’s not going to get her back, so stop.”

  Lev opened his mouth to argue, but then there was a voice. Her voice.

  Elizabeth.

  “Lev?” It came as a whisper in his mind.

  “Where are you?” He paced, frantically searching for where the voice came from.

  “Lev?” Evan regarded him as though he’d heard nothing, which of course he hadn’t. How could he have?

  “Help me.” Her voice wavered in fear and pain. “There’s no one else.”

  “Tell me where you are, where I can find you!” He was desperate and enraged, his motions, like his voice, frenetic and uneven.

  “What’s gotten into you?” Evan demanded, trying to follow Lev’s gaze.

  “She’s here!” Lev tried to find her again.

  “No, she’s not.” Evan stepped into his path. “What you’re hearing isn’t real.”

  “You’re wrong. I can hear her like she’s right next to me.”

  Lev pushed past and tried to listen, dying to hear her voice again, to gain some clue to her whereabouts.

  “Can you hear me?” Lev yelled loudly.

  “Lev!” she called. “Lev, save me!”

  He spun on his heel, desperate. Her voice seemed to be coming from everywhere at once now. “Tell me how to find you!”

  Yet she never answered him. Her voice died away, and he kept spinning, waiting until the dizziness overcame him and he fell. He was breathing hard and fast, struggling to get his bearings even as he kept trying to hear her voice.

  “Lev, listen to me,” Evan said softly.

  “No.”

  Evan took a deep breath. “I don’t know why you’re hearing Elizabeth’s voice. Perhaps it’s the one supernatural link left between the two of you, but regardless of what you hear, you can’t find her like that. I’m willing to bet she doesn’t even know where she is.”

  “Right.” Lev hissed. “It’s not like you give a crap about her or you’d help me get my wings back.”

  “Don’t you think I’m trying,” Evan replied. “I’m do what I can to help you. In return, you need to stop reacting like this. Stop before someone gets hurt.”

  Lev’s shoulders sank. “Would you stop if it were all you had left? I have no power, and I don’t know what I’m doing. Until there is something more, I can’t make any promises.”

  Chapter Seven

  The late afternoon sunlight spilled down around Lev and Elizabeth as they ambled along the path toward the lake. White birds circled overhead, now and again dipping low and skimming across the water’s surface to swim.

  “It’s a perfect day,” Lev said, smiling, his arm draped around her.

  She looked up at him. “And what makes it so perfect?”

  “You. Any day with you is perfect.”

  She smiled and tucked her head just beneath his chin, one hand resting at his abdomen, her fingers lightly curling into his t-shirt. She inhaled softly, a contented smile playing at her lips.

  “I love you too, Lev,” she said. “I’ve always loved you.”

  His arm tightened around her as they stepped toward a spot along the shore where the reeds and cattails stood parted, allowing them passage all the way to the water’s edge, where they lingered and watched the sun steal from the sky, setting the lake afire.

  “You know, I must have seen a million sunsets before we met, and none of them ever touched me until I fell in love with you. You made all the difference in me. You alone,” he whispered.

  He nudged her gently forward so he could turn her to face him, and their eyes met, alive with the warmth of the present and the possibilities of the future. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips lightly to hers, kissing her almost tentatively at first and teasingly, and then more passionately, exploring her and she him, until the kiss had consumed them both.

  Even as she pulled away, breathless, Elizabeth kept her eyes closed, her lips parted as though he still kissed her.

  Lev moved to kiss her again, but that’s when everything changed. He felt her pulled suddenly from him. Her eyelids flew wide, and her mouth a broad O, a scream ripped from her throat, shattering the still of the land as she was dragged from him despite his best efforts to hold on.

  “Elizabeth!” His fingers grasped only air as her body was carried aloft and away until he lost sight of her completely.

  “Help me! Don’t let me die!”

  His body tensed. “I’ll find you!”

  Lev felt someone shaking him. The world around darkened and fell into shadow, and he tried to find his way but couldn’t. There was too much darkness, and nothing made any sense anymore.

  Where was she?

  “Lev, wake up!”

  The jostling drove away that outer darkness, though the other lingered, and he opened his eyes to find Celia leaning over him, her hand on his arm. He felt her fingers digging into his flesh.

  “Elizabeth?” he called, glancing feverishly around the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

  “She’s not here, Lev. It’s a nightmare.”

  He thrust himself to his feet. Unfortunately, as he struggled to gain his footing, Celia sensed that he wasn’t completely balanced and didn’t let go of him.

  “Lev, you need to calm down, okay?” She tried to soothe him, but he never even looked her way.

  “Elizabeth?”

  “She’s not here,” Celia said, grabbing for him, forcing him to stop. “There’s n
o point looking for her.”

  He would’ve kept on, but she spoke this time in his head, a place he couldn’t ignore her though he so desperately wanted to.

  “She can’t be gone,” Lev barely managed.

  In her eyes he found his answer, and when she’d realized as much she slowly wrapped her arms around him and drew him close, for the moment gathering the broken pieces of his world until he was ready to rebuild, to fortify that world against the coming storm.

  “We will find her. Somehow. Evan has gone to present your case.”

  There was nothing else to say about it, so Lev pulled back and changed subjects. “How’s Griffin?” His voice came out a harsh and low.

  “He’ll be fine. He’s dealing with Elizabeth’s absence in his own way. It’s not easy for either of you.”

  “I don’t know why Father is bothering.” Lev walked over to the window so he could look out. He gritted his teeth.

  “What do you mean?”

  “There’s no way they’ll agree. Evan so much as confirmed it, and if I can’t protect Elizabeth, what difference does any of this make in the end? Why would she still love me even if we can get her back? I’m useless.”

  Celia slid her finger beneath his chin and forced him to look at her. “She didn’t fall in love with you because you saved her life in the first place, Lev. She loved you because she saw through to what was inside, and that’s what will make her love you still, even when all this is over.”

  Lev pulled free. “You seem certain. Part of me thinks it won’t matter even if we do get her back. I failed her. Again.”

  “You did your best, and that’s all anyone could ask.” Celia pushed at the hair falling into her eyes. “You’ve always done your best, even if your heart wasn’t totally in whatever you were doing. It used to be just a matter of pride—of duty and purpose. Now it really matters to you.”

  “Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better, and I seriously doubt that little pep talk is going to back Griffin off any, either.” He leaned on the sill, stretching his back out, trying to relieve some of the tension there.