Lilith: A Romance

by George MacDonald

  CHAPTER XX. GONE!--BUT HOW?

  I rose, and looked around me, dazed at heart. For a moment I could notsee her: she was gone, and loneliness had returned like the cloud afterthe rain! She whom I brought back from the brink of the grave, had fledfrom me, and left me with desolation! I dared not one moment remain thushideously alone. Had I indeed done her a wrong? I must devote my life tosharing the burden I had compelled her to resume!

  I descried her walking swiftly over the grass, away from the river, tookone plunge for a farewell restorative, and set out to follow her. Thelast visit of the white leech, and the blow of the woman, had enfeebledme, but already my strength was reviving, and I kept her in sightwithout difficulty.

  "Is this, then, the end?" I said as I went, and my heart brooded asad song. Her angry, hating eyes haunted me. I could understand herresentment at my having forced life upon her, but how had I furtherinjured her? Why should she loathe me? Could modesty itself be indignantwith true service? How should the proudest woman, conscious of my everyaction, cherish against me the least sense of disgracing wrong? Howreverently had I not touched her! As a father his motherless child, Ihad borne and tended her! Had all my labour, all my despairing hope goneto redeem only ingratitude? "No," I answered myself; "beauty must havea heart! However profoundly hidden, it must be there! The deeper buried,the stronger and truer will it wake at last in its beautiful grave! Torouse that heart were a better gift to her than the happiest life! Itwould be to give her a nobler, a higher life!"

  She was ascending a gentle slope before me, walking straight and steadyas one that knew whither, when I became aware that she was increasingthe distance between us. I summoned my strength, and it came infull tide. My veins filled with fresh life! My body seemed to becomeethereal, and, following like an easy wind, I rapidly overtook her.

  Not once had she looked behind. Swiftly she moved, like a Greek goddessto rescue, but without haste. I was within three yards of her, when sheturned sharply, yet with grace unbroken, and stood. Fatigue or heat sheshowed none. Her paleness was not a pallor, but a pure whiteness; herbreathing was slow and deep. Her eyes seemed to fill the heavens, andgive light to the world. It was nearly noon, but the sense was uponme as of a great night in which an invisible dew makes the stars looklarge.

  "Why do you follow me?" she asked, quietly but rather sternly, as if shehad never before seen me.

  "I have lived so long," I answered, "on the mere hope of your eyes, thatI must want to see them again!"

  "You WILL not be spared!" she said coldly. "I command you to stop whereyou stand."

  "Not until I see you in a place of safety will I leave you," I replied.

  "Then take the consequences," she said, and resumed her swift-glidingwalk.

  But as she turned she cast on me a glance, and I stood as if run throughwith a spear. Her scorn had failed: she would kill me with her beauty!

  Despair restored my volition; the spell broke; I ran, and overtook her.

  "Have pity upon me!" I cried.

  She gave no heed. I followed her like a child whose mother pretends toabandon him. "I will be your slave!" I said, and laid my hand on herarm.

  She turned as if a serpent had bit her. I cowered before the blaze ofher eyes, but could not avert my own.

  "Pity me," I cried again.

  She resumed her walking.

  The whole day I followed her. The sun climbed the sky, seemed to pauseon its summit, went down the other side. Not a moment did she pause, nota moment did I cease to follow. She never turned her head, never relaxedher pace.

  The sun went below, and the night came up. I kept close to her: if Ilost sight of her for a moment, it would be for ever!

  All day long we had been walking over thick soft grass: abruptly shestopped, and threw herself upon it. There was yet light enough to showthat she was utterly weary. I stood behind her, and gazed down on herfor a moment.

  Did I love her? I knew she was not good! Did I hate her? I could notleave her! I knelt beside her.

  "Begone! Do not dare touch me," she cried.

  Her arms lay on the grass by her sides as if paralyzed.

  Suddenly they closed about my neck, rigid as those of thetorture-maiden. She drew down my face to hers, and her lips clung to mycheek. A sting of pain shot somewhere through me, and pulsed. I couldnot stir a hair's breadth. Gradually the pain ceased. A slumberousweariness, a dreamy pleasure stole over me, and then I knew nothing.

  All at once I came to myself. The moon was a little way above thehorizon, but spread no radiance; she was but a bright thing set inblackness. My cheek smarted; I put my hand to it, and found a wet spot.My neck ached: there again was a wet spot! I sighed heavily, and feltvery tired. I turned my eyes listlessly around me--and saw what hadbecome of the light of the moon: it was gathered about the lady! shestood in a shimmering nimbus! I rose and staggered toward her.

  "Down!" she cried imperiously, as to a rebellious dog. "Follow me a stepif you dare!"

  "I will!" I murmured, with an agonised effort.

  "Set foot within the gates of my city, and my people will stone you:they do not love beggars!"

  I was deaf to her words. Weak as water, and half awake, I did not knowthat I moved, but the distance grew less between us. She took one stepback, raised her left arm, and with the clenched hand seemed to strikeme on the forehead. I received as it were a blow from an iron hammer,and fell.

  I sprang to my feet, cold and wet, but clear-headed and strong. Had theblow revived me? it had left neither wound nor pain!--But how came Iwet?--I could not have lain long, for the moon was no higher!

  The lady stood some yards away, her back toward me. She was doingsomething, I could not distinguish what. Then by her sudden gleam I knewshe had thrown off her garments, and stood white in the dazed moon. Onemoment she stood--and fell forward.

  A streak of white shot away in a swift-drawn line. The same instant themoon recovered herself, shining out with a full flash, and I saw thatthe streak was a long-bodied thing, rushing in great, low-curved boundsover the grass. Dark spots seemed to run like a stream adown its back,as if it had been fleeting along under the edge of a wood, and catchingthe shadows of the leaves.

  "God of mercy!" I cried, "is the terrible creature speeding to thenight-infolded city?" and I seemed to hear from afar the sudden burstand spread of outcrying terror, as the pale savage bounded from house tohouse, rending and slaying.

  While I gazed after it fear-stricken, past me from behind, like a swift,all but noiseless arrow, shot a second large creature, pure white. Itspath was straight for the spot where the lady had fallen, and, as Ithought, lay. My tongue clave to the roof of my mouth. I sprang forwardpursuing the beast. But in a moment the spot I made for was far behindit.

  "It was well," I thought, "that I could not cry out: if she had risen,the monster would have been upon her!"

  But when I reached the place, no lady was there; only the garments shehad dropped lay dusk in the moonlight.

  I stood staring after the second beast. It tore over the ground with yetgreater swiftness than the former--in long, level, skimming leaps, thevery embodiment of wasteless speed. It followed the line the other hadtaken, and I watched it grow smaller and smaller, until it disappearedin the uncertain distance.

  But where was the lady? Had the first beast surprised her, creeping uponher noiselessly? I had heard no shriek! and there had not been time todevour her! Could it have caught her up as it ran, and borne her away toits den? So laden it could not have run so fast! and I should have seenthat it carried something!

  Horrible doubts began to wake in me. After a thorough but fruitlesssearch, I set out in the track of the two animals.