“From what he tells us, you seem like the perfect person we’d love to hire to babysit our son. Your brother said he’s willing to help out too, if you need it,” the young man explains, placing his palms on the island top with a smile.
“Oh. Yeah, I’d love to,” I reply quietly.
“Joce will be an excellent babysitter. She helped raise her brother, and she hopes to be a mother herself one day, don’t you baby girl?” he asks, giving me a gentle squeeze. Another stolen glance up into his eyes and I can see the soft yearning that was once going to play a part in my failed plan.
“I’d love to be a mom!” I gush happily. “How old is your son?”
“Seven,” the young woman replies with a smile. “He’s our fur baby, but we still consider him our son, you know?”
“A dog?” I ask curiously.
They look at each other sheepishly and nod. A small smile curves my lips. I always wanted a pet, but Pater never allowed it for fear that the animal would attack him on the nights he attacked me.
“Can we bring him by tomorrow so you can meet him? He’s really playful, so maybe a test run would be best before we commit,” she says thoughtfully.
I turn and give Pater a hopeful glance, hoping it will soothe the anger I know he’s feeling at the baby not being human, but he grunts and nods in agreement.
“Perfect! How does, say, seven o’clock sound?” the young man asks, glancing at Pater.
“That’ll be just fine,” he replies, in a bored tone.
With that, they shake hands with Pater and wave at Vaughn and I as he shows them to the front door. I immediately go over to my brother and put a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m going to save you. I don’t care if you hate me right now, but I need you to know that I’m going to do my best to fix this and that you’ll go free,” I whisper urgently.
Vaughn slowly turns his head toward me, his lower lip trembling, and bitter tears rolling down his face.
“Like you saved Eloy?” he seethes quietly.
I let out a sigh and do my best not to cry. If Pater finds us huddled in whispered conversation, he’ll separate us again, and Heaven only knows if I’ll see Vaughn ever again.
“Scheming against me?”
I jump and pull away from Vaughn, who turns his attention back to the void. There’s nothing left in his eyes, like his brother’s, but he still draws breath, and I will fucking defend it until I no longer can.
Pater is looking at us in amusement, arms over his chest, and his grin sitting on his face. “I was wondering when you were finally going to crawl out of that fucking hole.”
“I’m sorry. I just needed some time alone,” I reply softly, clasping my hands in front of myself.
Pater chuckles as he walks toward us, stopping just short of where I’m standing, and slides his hand down my shirt. I try not to cringe, but he knows that I’m holding a piece of Eloy close to my heart and he’s more than likely not pleased with the gesture.
“That doesn’t belong there,” he says gently. “Hey. Kid. Get up. Go back to where you were, and stay there until I come to get you.”
Vaughn quickly scrapes his chair back and leaves the room without so much as a glance over his shoulder. Pater lets out a sigh and rubs his forehead in irritation.
I watch his other hand as he absentmindedly rolls the stone around in his palm.
“You want this back?” he asks, following my gaze.
“Please.”
“Tell you what,” he says, as he begins to toss it from hand to hand. “I’ll let you have it back if you do something for me.”
I thought these fucking Tasks were over and done with.
“Anything,” I say instead, remembering that I’m trying to become the obedient wife he wants me to be.
“Do a good job on your little interview tomorrow.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “That... That’s it?”
“That’s it,” he replies with a nod.
“Okay,” I say quietly, holding my hand out.
Pater balances the rock over my hand, but instead of dropping it where he promised, he closes his fist instead.
“I’m gonna hold on to this for a little while, if you don’t mind. I want to make sure you do a good job, if you catch my drift.”
With that, he leans down and gently kisses me on the lips, before he pulls back and grins again.
“Damn. Even after that stretch in the hole, your lips are still as soft as I remember.”
Before I have a chance to plead for the rock, he leaves me in the kitchen, shaking his head and laughing on his way out.
Chapter Twenty
I busy myself by tidying up the kitchen. I have a long day ahead of me, and once I’m done making this particular room spotless, I fully intend to go from room to room to locate Vaughn.
I take the dishtowel I’ve been using to wipe the island top with, and toss it into the sink. I quickly turn the faucet on and off, before I dry my hands on my legs and walk toward the living room. That’s the direction Pater had gone, and I have to make sure I know where he is so that I have free reign of the house.
He’s lying on the couch, the rock balanced on his stomach, and an arm bent behind his bed. The television is on, but it doesn’t seem that he’s paying it any mind.
“I was wondering when you were finally gonna join me,” he says quietly. His eyes are trained on the screen, yet it’s obvious he couldn’t care less what’s happening on the program he’s watching.
“I’m sorry, Pater. I was just cleaning up.”
“I know,” he says kindly, closing his eyes. “Come sit with me, baby girl.”
I swallow a sigh and obediently walk over so I can perch on the arm of the couch. Pater opens his eyes and turns them toward me, drops his legs, and motions with his chin for me to sit. As soon as I do, he props his legs across my lap and stares at me thoughtfully for a moment.
“Can I ask you something?”
It’s a rhetorical question; he’s the only one that ever gets to ask questions or make statements without needing permission, but I nod anyway just to humor him.
“Alright. There’s one thing that’s irking the fuck out of me, and I’m hoping to get some clarity,” he starts as he scratches his chin. “Do you love me because you want to, or because you feel you have to?”
I drape my hands over his legs and form my next words with deadly precision. “At first, I loved you because I felt I had to. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here.” Even if this is Hell, at least it’s still something. “But I think I’m learning to love you because it’s what feels right.”
Pater scoffs and shifts his legs on my lap. “Then why are you constantly plotting behind my back? At what point in this will you realize that I’ll always know when you’re trying to trick me, Jocelyn?”
I have to ask him. If I don’t, it’ll drive me crazy for the little bit of life I know I have left.
“How is it you always know, Pater? I don’t understand how it’s possible to read the mind of another,” I question, trying to keep the hysterics out of my tone. If he can hear the frantic need to know, he’ll shut down and change the subject.
“How does a farmer always know their crops will spring from the ground? How does a gardener know that once a seed is planted, it’ll eventually bloom? I made you, Jocelyn. You’re a part of me, and I can feel you as deeply as you did with Eloy and Vaughn. It was never a trick, kiddo. Just an instinct, and you fucking fall for it every time,” he explains with a smug smirk.
How could I have not guessed something so simple? It makes perfect sense.
I fold my arms and fall back against the couch, absolutely astounded at his revelation and the fact that I've been blind to it this entire time.
“Anything else you wanna know? Or is that enough for now?” he asks with a chuckle.
I turn my face away and sigh. The doorway stands empty, and I feel a heaviness in my heart. Usually, when I’ve been in this room with Pater, we were never alone. Eloy or
Vaughn, or sometimes both, would be sitting by the door just to be close enough to me to feel some kind of comfort.
Pater swings his legs off the couch and sits up, moving until he’s right next to me. He drapes an arm around my shoulders and sticks the rock with Eloy’s blood on it into his pocket. I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t look at him yet. I feel the tears starting to build and I don’t know if they’re from anger at not seeing the boys where they should be, or because I was too fucking stupid not to have figured out his parlor trick sooner.
“Listen, I’m not going to make this harder than it has to be, and you really shouldn’t either. I know this isn’t the life you probably thought you would have, but honestly, Joce, would you have wanted to have it different in any way?” he asks, resting his free hand on my thigh. I look at his hand for a moment, before I turn my eyes toward his.
“No,” I reply quietly.
If it had been different, I never would have spent so many happy years with Eloy and Vaughn after Mama. I remember how often they would argue, and how much she would scream at him for loving someone that wasn’t her. I just never knew it was me until the time came.
“Are you finally willing to work on this with me? We can be happy, you know. We’ll even have a dog soon, and I know how much you’ve always wanted to have one of those,” he says, giving me another gentle squeeze.
“Yes.”
“Good girl,” he says in relief, kissing my cheek. “Everything will work out, you’ll see. For now, why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up, and then I’ll take you and your brother outside for a while, alright?”
“Okay. Thank you, Pater,” I reply quietly as I shrink away from his arm and get to my feet.
“Hold on a second. How many times have I been inside you already? We’re trying to start a family here, and ‘Pater’ won’t do anymore. Not for you. Call me Luke,” he offers, with a debonair smile.
Luke it is, I think with a sigh as I give him a small smile I return, before I walk away and leave him in his soon-to-be-short-lived moment of happiness.
Chapter Twenty-One
I have a few more hours before the sun begins to set, yet I find myself standing in the doorway, wondering where Vaughn is tucked away. He’s not in the darkness; I know this because Pater would never let him go outside alone. Any time the boys have been allowed a moment of fresh air, even with me being present, he would keep a watchful eye on us.
His footsteps have been moving about the house, hollowly echoing through the hallways, and for that reason alone, I know Vaughn is somewhere inside with us.
I run a hand over my face and sigh irritably. This place is not exactly a palatial estate, so why I’m having such trouble figuring out where he is bothers me.
He’s still alive. Half of my heart is still beating, and I know it’s only because wherever he is, he hasn’t been put to rest yet.
Don’t think of things you can’t control. That’s one of Pater’s rules; it’s how he keeps his head above water, and those of us remaining under his thumb.
Leaning against the door frame, I watch the silent property. I don’t know on which side of us the new couple lives, and to be honest, I didn’t know it was possible for anyone to even be alive.
Besides Laura, we hadn’t seen another person since we were kids, because Pater didn’t want to take the chance we’d slip and tell stories of what we’d been subjected to under his roof.
I don’t think I would ever tell anyone, even if do we make it out of here. I know nothing will come of it because the damage has already been done.
Stepping back inside, I close the door and sigh. Is it really damage, though? I can’t say for sure, because there are nights when I’ve been in Pater’s bed that his touch made all the difference in the world to me.
I’m as fucked up as he is; I can accept that now, but what I cannot accept is Vaughn being put through any more than he already has been. He’s brutally murdered his own brother because I selfishly failed in my attempt to save him.
We all have blood on our hands now, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s what Pater had in mind all along. If we’re all equally guilty, turning on him would essentially be turning on ourselves.
Monstrous acts beget monsters, and we’ll both get what we deserve in the end, but not all of us. I won’t allow it. Not while there’s still hope for the boy to regain some sort of normalcy back into his life. He’s only seventeen; he should be able to break away from all this madness if I can just help him escape.
Something tells me I don’t have much time left to formulate a master plan, so I’ll just have to improvise. The only chance I can actually see is when the couple returns with their dog. I’ll have Pater sit with me while we have our interview. I’ll play the part of the happy child, and I’ll see to it that Vaughn can slip away unnoticed.
“Hey Joce?”
Pater’s voice echoing throughout the house puts my plan to rest for the moment as I quickly turn and see that he’s already heading toward me.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a curious smirk.
I shake my head and shrug. I don’t have an explanation he would appreciate, and since I know now that he can’t really read my mind, I think my intentions are better left unsaid.
“Oh, I get it,” he says kindly. “Alone time, right? I don’t blame you. Even I need some of that every now and then. You hungry? I was thinking we could all sit down for dinner tonight. It’s already going if you’re interested.”
“That would be nice,” I reply softly.
“Good,” he says with a warm smile. “Your brother is already in the dining room setting the table; why don’t you go help him, and then you’ll get to see what I whipped up.”
Lowering my head, I start to walk past him, almost giddy with excitement. He’s presenting me the chance I need to let Vaughn know that by this time tomorrow he could go free.
Pater slides an arm around my waist as he pulls me sideways against him, and rests his lips on the side of my head. He lingers there for a moment before he whispers a warning into my ear.
“Don’t get any ideas. I’ll find out.”
He presses his lips gently against me in what I can only describe as a Judas kiss, because he betrayed me a long time ago when he stole my innocence. When he finally lets me go, I walk quickly toward the dining room. I need every second given to me to somehow get Vaughn to trust me.
As I walk into the room, I see that Vaughn is quietly setting Pater’s plate at the head of the table. He glances up at me for a moment with his almost vacant eyes before he slowly walks to his seat and sits down.
“Listen to me, and don’t interrupt until I’m done,” I whisper as I take my place across from him. “I need you to trust me like you’ve never trusted me before. Tomorrow, you’re leaving.”
Vaughn raises his eyes from the plate he’s been staring at, giving me an icy stare. “How is that, Mom?”
I try not to cringe. It’s obvious he still hates me. I understand his feelings, because I hate me too.
“When that couple comes back, I think we’re going to do a working interview. Pater will be with me, I’ll make sure of it. While I have them all distracted, I want you to walk out the front door and, no matter what happens, do not turn around, got it?” I ask him urgently.
Vaughn rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t disagree with the plan. As long as Pater doesn’t catch on to what’s going to happen, he may actually do as he’s being told.
“Doesn’t this smell damn good?” Pater asks, suddenly walking into the room. He has a large serving plate piled with grilled chicken breasts that he sets down in the center of the table. My stomach growls loudly and I’m just now realizing how hungry I’ve been this entire time.
“It does,” I reply, mustering the enthusiasm I know he’s expecting.
Pater grins at me and turns his attention toward Vaughn, who’s hungrily glancing at the plate. He quickly shoots Pater a glance and nods once in appreciation.
&nb
sp; “But wait! There’s more!” Pater says merrily as he leaves the room again.
It’s another form of discipline, sitting in front of the food, ravenously hungry, and not being allowed to indulge until Pater says so. Of course, it’s also very far and few in between that he allows us to share in his food that, when presented with the challenge, we’ve always held strong.
He returns a few moments later with a bowl heaped with mashed potatoes, balancing a bottle of wine under his arm, and still grinning. He’s proud of himself for actually giving a fuck about us for once.
“Want some?” he asks, as he pulls the cork out of the wine bottle. I glance at him to see who he’s asking, and am actually surprised to find it’s me, since I’ve never tasted wine before.
He fills his glass, then moves the bottle toward mine, hovering, waiting for my response. Will it dull my senses? Will I divulge my plan if I imbibe? I don’t know, and I can’t take that chance.
“No thank you, Pater,” I reply softly.
“Luke,” he corrects, the grin on his face faltering. He turns his gaze toward Vaughn. “What about you, kid?”
“No thank you, sir,” he says quietly.
Pater shrugs and sets the bottle down by his glass and rolls his sleeves up to his elbows. “Well, more for me then. Jocelyn, can you pass the chicken please?”
I immediately pick up the plate and hold it out toward him. His grin is fully plastered on his face again as he uses a fork to take the biggest piece, then winks at me when he’s done. I hold it out toward Vaughn, who quickly stabs whatever piece he can get, then nods in thanks.
Pater reaches past me and grabs the bowl of mashed potatoes, purposely rubbing his bare forearm against mine. I don’t react, because I’m not sure what reaction he’s looking for.
“Eat up kids, tomorrow’s a big day. We’re getting a dog,” he says with a laugh.
I raise my eyes toward Vaughn, but he’s too busy shoving forkfuls of food into his face to care or notice.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Pater says conversationally. “I never did get a chance to thank you for taking care of that little problem your brother left behind, Vaughn.”
Inferno Page 8
