Vaughn’s mouth is open and his fork is hovering just in front of him. He glances at Pater, then cuts his eyes toward me frantically. They’re hiding something from me, and Pater doesn’t like it when we keep secrets from each other.
“Didn’t he tell you?” he asks in mock surprise as he cuts a piece of chicken with his fork.
I feel sick. Without even knowing what he’s about to reveal to me, I’ve lost my fucking appetite and my body begins to tremble slightly.
“Tell me what?” I croak uncertainly.
He lets his fork clatter loudly onto his plate as he sits back and takes a sip of his wine. “Well? Are you going to tell her, or am I?”
Vaughn turns his face away from me and Pater chuckles. “I swear, I don’t know how the hell you ended up being my kid with no balls.”
“Tell me what?” I ask again.
“Alright,” Pater says, placing an arm on the table and looking at me. He stops for a moment to take another sip of wine before he makes his revelation. “Remember how I said your mother went out of this world the same way she came in?”
“Yes?”
The world is starting to spin around me. I’m dangerously close to passing out, but it’s the anticipation of what I think he might say that’s making me react so violently.
“Well, your precious Mama? Her name was Laura. You got to meet her. And the blood she went out in? That was Eloy’s; sloppy as fuck, cut himself a couple times doing the deed. But don’t feel bad, you didn’t really miss anything spectacular. The bitch didn’t even put up a fight.”
Clearing his throat, he takes another sip of wine and then continues with his meal. My mother was here, in this very house, not a few days before; she did nothing to save us.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dinner has officially been over for half an hour, but Pater has insisted on dessert. For himself, not us; we haven’t earned dessert yet, according to him.
“But you will,” he promised us with his sideways grin sitting deviously on his handsome face.
It’s been silent for at least ten minutes while Pater eats his pie, but I’m so numb at the revelation he made to me less than an hour ago that I’ll probably end up staying awake all night anyway.
“Listen, I know you’re all confused and probably pissed off right now,” he finally says, glancing at me. “But Vaughn didn’t really know until he had to go clean up Eloy’s mess. And to be honest Joce, you can’t be angry at me. That waste of a pussy has lived in this neighborhood ever since I kicked her out. She could’ve come over any time she wanted. Well, that’s not entirely true, but if she was as concerned as she fucking acted, then she would have.”
Pater’s words mean nothing to me. I’m too busy glancing at the knife sitting between us. All it would take is a series of quick motions to leave him choking in his own blood. I could slit his throat before he would even have the chance to realize what had happened.
But what if I failed? What if he managed to stop me as soon as I grabbed the knife? Then what? Vaughn would surely pay for another act of failed bravery. And then it would just be Pater and me.
Unless...
“You know Joce, I admire you,” Pater says suddenly. “You’ve got more balls than either of your brothers, always looking for a way to kill me and whatnot, but I thought we agreed we were done with that game?”
My eyes slowly move from the gleaming blade, to the hilt, and then up to Pater. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Vaughn slowly moving for the knife placed between him and Pater, and in that moment, I know it’s a trick.
“Don’t,” I say to him softly.
Pater raises his eyebrows curiously as he turns his attention toward Vaughn, who’s letting go of the knife.
“You kids really like to test my patience, don’t you?” Pater asks with a sigh. “It’s okay. If it were me, I’d try the same thing, but remember something. Without me, you’re both nothing. You’ll be forced out into a world you don’t understand; a world that will reject you before you can even set a foot firmly into it. I’m not the bad guy here. I’m not the one who threw you kids away; I’m the one who’s loved you and cared for you your entire lives. You want someone to hate? Hate your incubator. She gave all three of you up without a fight.”
Vaughn puts his face in his hands and begins to gently cry. He believes Pater, and it’s breaking his heart. He believes there’s nothing better than this life for the both of us, and he can’t accept it like I’ve been trying to.
Pater rolls his eyes at Vaughn before turning his attention back to me. “Tell you what; to prove I’m not such a bad guy, I’ll do something for the both of you. Tonight, I’m going to let you sleep with your brother.”
My stomach turns, because with Pater, the way he says things are rarely as they’re presented. He looks very proud because of his generosity, but I won’t thank him just yet. Not until I fully understand his offer.
“Calm down, will you?” he says with a chuckle, reaching across the table and resting a hand on mine. “I meant actually let you sleep in the same bed, not fuck each other. That would just complicate things. Besides, that’s not how this works. Your pussy belongs to me and no one else, so don’t worry about it.”
Somehow, that doesn’t make me feel any better. If he’s allowing this, it means the worst is yet to come, and he’s giving us a peaceful moment before the end.
“Thank you, Pater,” I finally say softly.
“Luke,” he corrects evenly.
“Thank you, Luke,” I correct with a sigh. “Where would you like us to sleep tonight?”
“Anywhere you want,” he says, his grin returning as he pushes his chair back and stands up. “But remember; no funny business. That would be wrong.”
With a wink, he grabs his plate and leaves us in the dining room. My eyes move toward the clock on the wall and I’m amazed at how much time has actually passed since we’ve sat down. It’s eight o’clock at night, maybe a little after, and as I look across the table at my brother, I can’t help but feel like this is the last time I’ll ever see him again.
“Come on,” I say quietly, getting up from the table and holding a hand out toward him. “Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow, you’re getting out of here.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
When I wake up the next morning, I’m relieved to realize I didn’t dream. It’s not uncommon for me to have sleepless dreams, but when I do, they terrorize me. They’re almost always dreams of life outside these walls. A life without Pater; one where Eloy is still alive, and he and Vaughn are happy and thriving.
Since Pater had given me the choice of rooms, I chose the one I slept in as a little girl, yet untouched and undefiled because it still held some meaning to me. It was a place where I could go and be innocent again; a place where Pater didn’t exist, and nothing bad could happen to me.
I blink my eyes a few times to remove whatever sleep is still lingering, and smile sadly when I feel his frail body so close to mine. When we went to bed, I held him while he cried, until he was so exhausted he finally drifted off. I’ve woken up with his head under my chin and his arms still wrapped firmly around me.
He’s stirring slightly since I’ve shifted in bed, and I kiss the top of his head. I don’t want him to wake up just yet. I want to remember him like this before he leaves me. Asleep, innocent of the horrors he’s lived through, and finding it in himself to forgive me, even if he doesn’t mean it.
I run my hand gently over his hair as he stirs again gently, before he finally opens his eyes and pulls away from me.
“What time is it?” he asks groggily, using the back of his hand to rub his eyes. Before I have a chance to answer him, the door swings open and Pater walks through.
“Get up and get dressed; they’re here.”
“Now?” I ask, sitting up, now wide awake.
“Yeah,” he replies with a grim nod. “Hurry up.”
“Fuck,” I mutter pushing myself off the bed. “Okay, listen, go throw some wat
er on your face and get as alert as you can.”
I walk quickly toward my closet and pull out a dress, changing quickly behind the door so Vaughn doesn’t have to be subjected to any more than he already has been. When I’m done, I get up onto my tiptoes and run my hand along the top shelf.
“Here, take this,” I say, walking back toward him and shoving all the money I managed to save as a child into his hand. “It’s not much, but it should get you far enough away from here that you won’t ever have to worry about this place again. I love you, okay? Don’t ever forget that. I love you.”
I give him a quick, tight hug, and walk out of the room before he can say anything. If I hear anything come from his lips, I’ll burst into tears and fail the interview, and he won’t have his chance.
He’ll take it.
He has to, because he knows that life is better on the outside, no matter what Pater tried to tell us last night. Maybe one day I’ll see him in the world; maybe I won’t ever leave these walls. The latter doesn’t matter to me because I know I deserve this, but goddamn it, he doesn’t.
“There she is,” Pater says with a huge, fake smile when I walk into the living room. “Crystal and Aaron were just asking about you.”
“Sorry!” I reply as brightly as I can. “I guess I overslept. I honestly thought you guys meant seven o’clock at night.”
“Oh, he’s an early riser,” Aaron says, nodding down at his dog. It’s got beautiful brown fur that shines majestically as it sits there looking up at me curiously. I don’t know what kind of dog it is, but it’s definitely friendly. As I approach it and crouch down to pet its head, I can see the tail begin to wag furiously.
“What’s your name?” I ask him, scratching behind his ear.
“Tiberius,” Crystal replies with a warm smile.
I raise an eyebrow curiously at her as Tiberius licks the side of my face.
“I know; what kind of name is that for a dog, right? We’re really big into ancient history,” she explains with a laugh.
I smile at her and turn my attention back to the dog, taking its face into my hands and giving it a gentle kiss on the nose.
“He definitely seems to like you,” Aaron says happily. “Wanna sit down and we’ll talk about compensation?”
I have no idea what that means, but I pet Tiberius one more time, before I get up and go sit next to Pater on the couch.
“We’re going to be gone for a couple of weeks, which I guess we should have told you ahead of time,” Crystal begins sheepishly. “If it’s still okay with your dad, we’d love to have you take care of him for us while we’re gone.”
As I’m turning my eyes toward Pater, I can see Vaughn quietly walking past the living room door. He’s doing it; he’s leaving, and he’s going to have a happy life.
“Daddy?” I ask, glancing at Pater. I want to keep his attention. I want him to focus on me because as long as he’s distracted by my hand on his leg and the sound of my voice, everything will work out as I hoped it would.
“I don’t know,” he finally says, shaking his head slowly. “Two weeks is a long time to take care of a dog for someone that’s never had one. Are you sure you’re up for that kind of responsibility?”
“I’ve done a good job so far, haven’t I?” I ask him through gritted teeth and a forced smile.
He returns my fake smile but I can see the stern warning plainly in his eyes. “Yes, you have.”
“Well, if you’re still willing to accept the job, we’ll pay you two hundred dollars. One hundred now, and one hundred when we get back. Does that sound fair?” Aaron asks, putting an arm around Crystal.
“We have all his stuff outside in the car too, so you won’t have to use any of your money to buy him food or toys,” Crystal adds hopefully.
“Sweetheart?” Pater asks, putting his arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze.
“I would love to!”
They both smile in relief and get to their feet. “We’ll just go outside and get his belongings then!”
“Wait!” I say quickly. What if they go outside and Vaughn is still within the line of vision? “Um. Maybe you’d like to see where he’s going to sleep first?”
“Oh, I’m sure he’ll sleep fine wherever you decide to put him,” Aaron says cheerfully as he walks out of the living room with Crystal following behind him. He still has Tiberius’ leash firmly wrapped in his fist, and I’m afraid I’m going to piss myself because of how scared I am right now.
But as I begin to follow them out, Pater firmly holding my hand in his, I see something that causes me to almost pass out. I fall against Pater, who tries to steady me, and I swear to God, the world is starting to go black around me.
“Hey. I thought you guys might need some help.”
Vaughn is standing dutifully next to their car, waiting for someone, anyone to come outside, so he can do what he always has tried to do best.
Protect us from Pater. And since he bears the guilt of not being able to save his brother, he’s going to try to save me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“What are you doing out here?” Pater asks him with a menacing smile now sitting on his face.
Vaughn shrugs as he meets my eyes, “I wanted to see the dog. I didn’t know it was already inside.”
I blink my eyes rapidly as I do my damnedest not to cry. The plan would have worked so perfectly if he would have just kept walking. He could have left this all behind, but because he still holds some kind of love in his heart for me, he won’t leave me behind.
“Go on inside, son. We’ll have a little talk later,” Pater says, squeezing my shoulders tightly enough to cause me to flinch. He knows I had a hand in this, but he can’t act on his rage until our company is gone.
Vaughn nods and pets Tiberius’ head as he walks by him, stealing a glance in my direction. I look at him with more heartbreak than I ever thought I could feel in my life, and he responds with a sad smile before disappearing into the house.
Aaron quickly unloads the dog’s belongings and carries them into the living room, before pulling out his wallet and handing me a crisp one hundred dollar bill. He and Crystal say their goodbyes to the dog, shake Pater’s hand, and wave at me as they get back into their car and begin to pull down the driveway.
“Joce?” Pater asks thoughtfully.
I glance up at him, trying to shrug out of the grip he has on me. Tiberius is inside playing with Vaughn; I know it because I can hear him happily barking and Vaughn returning it with laughter. For the first time in years, Vaughn is genuinely laughing again, and the purity of it slightly swells my deflated heart.
“What your brother just did. Was that his idea or yours?”
“Mine. It was completely, unequivocally my idea. Please don’t punish him for it. Please? I’ll go back into the oubliette. I’ll rot down there happily, but please. He didn’t want to go; I forced him outside.”
I’m damn near hysterical as I pull away from the grip he has on my shoulders. I turn to face him and ball his shirt into my fists, looking up at him with pleading eyes, but he’s more focused on the car.
Waiting for it to disappear from sight.
Waiting for the moment he can strike us down for what we attempted to do.
Waiting for things he’ll never say. Pater won’t waste words when actions can be taken instead, and I’m afraid. Not for myself, but for Vaughn.
Why didn’t he leave?!
I fall against Pater’s chest and begin sobbing. He won’t care; my tears never meant much to him before, and they aren’t even for him. They’re not for myself either; they’re for the innocent inside who will suffer because I tried to help him.
“Let’s go inside,” he says quietly, putting his arm around me and leading me back in. He hasn’t agreed not to hurt the boy, but I hope that somewhere deep down in the void where his soul should be, he’ll take some pity on him and allow me to take the punishment in his place.
Once inside, he firmly closes the door and t
urns both the locks deliberately. He turns the doorknob to make sure it’s locked, before leading me into the living room where Tiberius and Vaughn are still playing.
“Go sit on the floor with your brother,” Pater says, damn near shoving me down next to Vaughn. Tiberius, blissfully unaware of what he might see, comes over and licks my face.
Not now, I think, giving him a gentle shove. He looks at me curiously, before he trots out of the room to explore the rest of the house.
Pater sits down on his couch and puts his face in his hands for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts before he speaks. If a verbal lashing is the worst of what he has to offer, I’ll gladly accept it.
“I know you both hate me, but you also know that I don’t care. I have rules for a reason, and that’s to protect you both. Your brother couldn’t follow the fucking rules, and do you see where that got him? Dead at thirteen years old, when he could have still been here with us. You have had it way too easy, and that’s gonna fucking change, starting now,” he says, dropping his hands and glaring at us.
Easy? This is easy? Being forced to play the dutiful wife to your father; being forced to protect your brothers, and failing where it counts the most?
I don’t dare speak those sentiments out loud. No matter how much I want to stand up and scream my questions at him, I stay seated and move closer to Vaughn. I can feel him trembling when he puts a protective arm around my shoulders, but his attempt to reassure me is such an act of bravery in the face of this evil that I can’t help but feel proud.
I may not have made many good decisions in my life, and I may have gotten a lot of shit wrong, but I know that at the very least, I raised him right.
Pater leans back against the couch and stares at us with his mouth open. He’s just warned us of what’s to come, and yet here we sit in solidarity against a tyrant.
He chuckles as he looks away for a moment. I can see the wheels spinning in his head and I’m ready for whatever it is he decides to put us through next, because I’ll have Vaughn by my side. With as much as I wanted him to gain his freedom, being in his presence makes me feel stronger.
Inferno Page 9
