West of Want (Hearts of the Anemoi)

by Laura Kaye

  Ella cupped his face. “What’s wrong?”

  He hated that alarm had replaced pleasure as the dominant expression on her beautiful face. Not yet able to speak without knowing he wouldn’t whimper, Zeph simply shook his head and tried to breathe through it.

  “Zeph, what’s the matter? You’re scaring me.” Her hand swept over his forehead, and the gesture was so tender a groan escaped before he could stop it. “Jesus, are you sick?”

  He gave in to the urge to draw off some of her unique calming energy. Would he ever understand the source of it? It was more than he could think on in that moment. His shoulders sagged as her aura wrapped around him, warmed and relaxed him to the center of his being. “No,” he finally bit out. “But, I’ll be okay. Just gimme a minute.” He attempted a smile.

  Ella narrowed her gaze at him as her hand stroked over his hair. “Something happened to you while you were gone, didn’t it?” she asked gently.

  He released a tired breath as the sharpest edge of the pain dulled. There was no way to avoid telling her, showing her, especially if he wanted her to trust him. And he did, with everything he had, everything he was. He wouldn’t do anything to sully the words they’d exchanged moments before. He vowed to handle her heart and her faith with kid gloves, like it was the most fragile spring blossom, and attend it with all the light and nourishment it would need to bloom again and again.

  He grasped her hand and pulled it to his mouth, pressed a lingering kiss against her palm. The scent and taste of her against his lips felt like home. “Yes, something happened, but it had to happen, and it’s over now.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I will, but I don’t want to upset you.”

  “Too late. But I’ll feel better when you tell me what’s wrong, and how I can make it better.”

  “Gods, Ella, you do. Just by wanting me.”

  “How could I not, Zeph?” She leaned in and extended her arms as if to embrace him.

  He grabbed her by the elbows and stepped back. “Sorry. That’s, uh, that’s what I need to tell you.”

  He slipped his hands into both of hers. “Just as humans do, the gods have rules and laws. And, in the past several days, I broke a couple. Because our very existence is based on magic, maintaining that supernatural power balance is critical to keeping harmony and protecting the world we all share.”

  She shook her head. “So…”

  Dropping her hands, Zeph reached for the hem of his shirt. Carefully, he lifted it over his head and tossed it to the back of the armchair. “When a god uses magic illegally, balance can be restored through physical sacrifice and, frankly, that is usually required before magic is used in the first place.”

  Ella shivered. “Physical sacrifice. You mean…” She gasped and her eyes went wide, understanding rolling over her expression. Clutching and tugging his arm so he turned, she peered around to his back and let out a small moan. “What is this?” she said, her voice shaking. “You’re bleeding.”

  Zeph winced. “It’s coming through?” he asked, wondering if the layering of gauze Chrys had taped over nearly his whole back had been sufficient. Apparently not.

  “Yes. In, like, three places. What the hell, Zeph? Who did this to you?”

  “My father,” he said, “but he really had no choice,” he rushed to add. Someday, she might meet the god. Best she didn’t start out hating him.

  “Oh, my God. Ohmigod. What can I do? What do you need me to do?” Her hands stroked softly over his obliques, just beyond the edge of the tape.

  Zeph let his head hang on his neck and enjoyed the light touch. It eased him, as everything about her did. “I love that you want to help me, but I heal. Another day or two, I’ll be good as new.”

  “A day or two? That’s sounds like forever right now. How much pain are you in?”

  “It’s manageable, I promise. And being with you, I can almost forget.”

  “God, I really want to hug you right now, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He turned around within her arms. “I would love a hug,” he said, nearly melting inside as her arms curled warmth and belonging around him. That she wished to offer him comfort was the sweetest pleasure. He grinned against her hair when her hands settled on his ass. In her defense, nowhere was safe on his back. And, anyway, he wasn’t complaining. Not at all.

  Against his chest, her breathing hitched. Something wet dripped onto his bare flesh. The muscles of Ella’s back when tight within his grasp. “It was because of me, wasn’t it? Because you healed me,” she finally said in a tear-strained voice.

  “No, love, it wasn’t. It was because of me. You got hurt because of things I did. Was only right I fixed what I wrought. And now it’s over, and we can be together.”

  Her face was wet when she glanced up at him. “You promise?”

  “Always,” he said.

  “I’m still so sorry.”

  His heart expanded at her expression of care and concern. “Thank you, but don’t be.”

  “And what about Eurus? I can’t imagine his opinion has changed.”

  He thumbed the tears off her face. “My father planned to summon him next. All should be well.”

  “That’s good to hear.” She leaned her forehead against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “I just want to be with you.”

  The need and love in her voice sent blood pooling to the thickening organ between his thighs. “Say that again,” he rasped.

  Deep brown eyes cut up to his. “I want to be with you.”

  “Yes.” Holding her gaze, he licked his lips and rocked his hips forward. Just enough to cue her in on where his mind was heading. Understanding dawned across her lovely face.

  Between their bodies, his erection was already rock solid.

  “But Zeph,” she breathed, “we can’t. You’re hurt.”

  Hands on her shoulders, he pushed her back one step, then another. “But you’re not.” Her back hit the hallway wall. Bending his knees, his thrust his pelvis into hers. His body screamed to get in her.

  “Oh, God,” she rasped asked his neck. “Please tell me you’re not up to acting human again.”

  Zeph frowned and peered down at her. Eyes hooded, mouth open, cheeks flushed—the lust and love radiating off her knocked the air from his lungs. He heaved a breath, then her words sank in. He grinned and willed their clothes away, reveling in every bit of the appealing beauty of her body.

  Her smile was radiant and he devoured it like a starving man at a feast. His kissed her breathless, adoring the sound of her pleasured whimpers. He tasted her neck with openmouthed kisses and long strokes of tongue. She was sweet and salty, clean and feminine. His hands cupped the weight of her breasts and teased her nipples with flicks of his thumbs. As the peaks went rigid under his touch, he salivated for a taste. One breast, then the other. In between, he paused to press lingering kisses over the racing organ in her chest, the one that owned him completely and forever.

  But his exploration had only just begun. He dropped to his knees, careful not to pull the bandages on his back, but frankly willing to risk it to taste the core of her, drink her down, make her fall apart with his mouth alone. He’d dreamed of this for days, ever since the freight train of his desire the other night had made it impossible to slow down and savor. Now, he could, and he intended to do so to the fullest.

  He nuzzled her hip bone, ran his teeth over what must’ve been a sensitive patch by the way she squirmed. He tucked that away for later and grinned up at her. Chest heaving, she smiled down at him and one hand rose to stroke his hair. He held her gaze as he pressed a kiss to the dark triangle of curls above her sex. Breathing her in made his cock twitch with need, but there was no rush.

  Hands splayed over her lower abdomen, he used his thumbs to open her most secret place. Her scent made his mouth water, and he gave in to the intense urge to have her. Burying himself right against her, he laved his tongue through her slick folds. Mother of gods, she was sweet nectar and ir
resistible temptation. He flicked and sucked at her clit and reveled in every throaty moan and breathy gasp of his name. As much as it was, it wasn’t enough.

  Lifting her leg over his shoulder opened her to his deeper exploration. His tongue found her entrance and penetrated again and again until she rode his face, her desperation and need a living thing. He growled his appreciation and a scream tore out of her as her muscles convulsed around him. Gripping her hips, he pulled her tighter against his tongue and never stopped moving, licking, sucking, until her body went limp in his grasp and he was all that held her up.

  Gently, he returned her foot to the ground and rose to his full height. Her lidded gaze followed his movement and she pulled his face down. She kissed his cheeks and lips until he could taste a hint of her honey from her own tongue. It was intoxicating. His cock jerked against her belly.

  “I need you, Ella.” He shook his head. “Like I’ve never needed anyone before.”

  “Me too, Zeph, so much.” Warm hands engulfed his throbbing flesh, stroked and pulled. He loved her hands on his body, but in that moment, he desired more than the physical pleasure of her touch. His soul cried out for the fundamental sense of belonging only joining their bodies would create.

  He lifted her leg again over his hip, and crouched down until the head of his cock aligned with her feminine slit. Heat radiated from the core of her and drew him in. He entered her, savoring the wet heat as it surrounded him. Closing his eyes, he became sensation, smelling her scent on his mouth, feeling her slick grip on his shaft and her short fingernails dig into his neck, hearing the long, satisfied sigh that escaped from her swollen lips.

  When he was all the way in her, he paused and breathed through the tight urgency in his balls that demanded he race to the finish.

  “Zeph?” Ella rasped. His gaze lifted from where they were joined. She raised her hands above her head. “You better hold them out of the way so I don’t forget. I don’t want to hurt you…”

  He groaned, all his calming effort undone. But he fucking loved her idea. “This pleases you, love? My restraining you?”

  Her cheeks went red but she nodded. “Yeah.”

  Caressing the flushed skin with his knuckles, he kissed her. “Don’t ever be embarrassed about what you need, Ella, what you like. I will give you anything you ever want.” He gripped her crossed wrists in his left hand. “Gods, I have to move in you.”

  He pulled out, pushed back in. She was so wet and hot and tight he thought he might lose his mind. The pleasure was so intense, the remaining rawness on his back faded to nothing. All he knew was her, being in her. His chest swelled around the crashing beats of his heart.

  This feeling, this love, this woman—it was all such an amazing revelation to him. Down deep, in a dark part of himself he didn’t like to visit, he’d totally surrendered to the idea he’d never share in the joy of loving partnership. That he’d found it in such an unexpected place with a woman who might as well have been made for him was beyond miraculous. It felt like destiny.

  Ella moaned as he picked up the pace, driving faster, harder into the core of her. Above the grip of his hand, her fingers clenched into fists. The image of it slayed him, and blood and energy raced from his extremities into his groin, creating an erotic pressure that had him groaning from deep in his chest.

  “Oh, God. Ohgodohgod,” she whimpered. She thrashed against the wall and her thigh trembled until he feared for her.

  “Leave. Them. Up,” he commanded against her ear before he released her hands and cupped the soft skin of her ass, lifting her entirely off the floor.

  The change in position allowed him to go deeper, faster, as he used the leverage of the wall to bring them together. With each stroke, he rolled his hips against her pubic bone, loving the gasping moans the contact drew out of her. Ella’s hands slid down to the top of her head. Her fingers tangled in long strands of golden brown. Around his cock, her body constricted and triumph flared through his veins.

  “Yes, Ella, yes.” He tugged her hips down as he thrust up. “Let go, love. I’ve got you.”

  Her mouth dropped open, eyes rolled back, and her body detonated around him. The high-pitched scream that tore from her lips set him to soaring. His pace quickened and concentrated against her clit, drawing out her ecstasy until he could hold back no more.

  The walls of her sex still milking him, Zephyros’s orgasm erupted within her. Body, heart, and soul, he was hers. In every way he could be, in every way he would ever want.

  “I love you, I love you,” she panted over and over as his body still shook. And he knew he would be able to live on this moment for the rest of his life. But thank the gods he wouldn’t have to.

  Because, as he pulled her off the wall and into the tight hold of his arms, still buried deep within her, he had everything he wanted and more than he’d ever hoped for in his grasp.

  And the miracle of it all—she was his to have and to hold, forever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Ella woke up first from the midday nap neither of them had been able to resist. Zeph was on her like a blanket, one leg over hers, his head and chest draped across her abdomen, arm tucked under her. As her eyes adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the window, she drank in the picture of him. Truly, he was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

  And he was hers. And she was his.

  She didn’t know where they went from here, but it was so goddamned freeing not to worry about it. Whatever arrangements they needed to make, whatever obstacles they encountered—they’d work through it all together. She trusted in that now, down to the very depths of her.

  Unable to keep from touching him, she stroked her hand over his short hair. He always seemed to enjoy that simple touch, and she liked the way it relaxed and calmed him. She hoped to always be able to do that for him.

  The thought had her frowning at the enormous blood-streaked bandage covering his back. What she wouldn’t give to have his power, to take away his pain. She would make any sacrifice. For his health and happiness, anything at all.

  “Feels good,” Zeph murmured in a sleep-deepened voice.

  “Didn’t mean to wake you,” Ella said.

  He propped his chin on her chest and smiled up at her. “I don’t mind.” He stared at her a long minute. “You are my miracle.”

  She gave him a small smile. “I know just what you mean.”

  Her stomach growled. Then again. Zeph’s eyebrows flew up and he grinned. Ducking his face against her bare belly, he blew a loud kiss against her skin. Ella screamed and writhed, trying to get away as he did it again.

  “Stop,” she said, laughing and squirming, her heart and mind alight with the wonder that was playful Zeph. He dove for her stomach again. “Uncle, uncle!”

  He cocked his head at her, one eyebrow raised. “Uncle?”

  “Yeah, you know, uncle. Stop.”

  “You humans say the weirdest things.”

  “Oh, it’s ‘us humans’ now, is it? At least we don’t poof.”

  She didn’t even see him move. His whole length covered her and his mouth devoured her. “I told you,” he said in a breathy voice.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Ella said rolling her eyes while parting her legs. “I know. You don’t poof.”

  “I don’t poof. But I do do this.” He pushed into her. His hands found hers and pressed them to the bed by her shoulders, fingers entangled and holding tight.

  It was sweetness and love. Face to face, trading soft kisses and affectionate encouragement, it was the most intimate moment of Ella’s life.

  Afterward, they lay holding one another for a long time. Quiet and still, as if they were the only ones in the universe.

  Head resting on her chest, Zeph said, “I have an idea. Will you give me a minute?”

  “Sure,” Ella said, going into a full-body stretch as Zeph lifted off her. “Do you need some help?”

  He pushed off the bed, the sunlight playing across the taut planes and cut muscles of his
big body. Jesus, he was so fucking gorgeous. “No, and I won’t be long. Get dressed?”

  She swung her legs off the bed. “Do I have time for a shower?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Yes, just be quick, or I’ll be tempted to join you and then we’ll never get to my surprise.”

  “And”—she rose and sauntered across to the door, putting an extra swing in her hips—“that would be bad because…?”

  Dark blue light flared behind Zeph’s eyes. “You better go now.” Between his legs, the thick length of his cock twitched and grew.

  Ella grinned and left. Curious and excited, she rushed through the shower and threw on the first clothes her hands could find—a pair of worn jeans and a Georgetown Sailing sweatshirt.

  She flew downstairs and nearly crashed into him coming out of the kitchen.

  “Whoa. That was fast,” he said, catching her. “Which is good, because I’m ready for you.”

  “Mmm, that sounds nice.” On tiptoes, she pushed up and kissed him. She almost regretted that he’d materialized clothes from somewhere, but then again, she really did want to know what he had up his sleeve for her.

  Smiling, Zeph broke the kiss first. He grabbed her shoulders and pointed her whole body toward the kitchen. Now that she wasn’t totally distracted by him, she felt a cool breeze blowing through the archway separating the rooms. His big hands covered her eyes.

  “Er, whatcha doing?”

  “Surprise, remember?”

  Grinning, she nodded, well, as much as she could with his hands around her face. “Okay.”

  They laughed and stumbled as he led her forward. The drop in temperature and outdoor sounds indicated they’d stepped onto the back porch. She was nearly giddy with excitement and anticipation.

  “Step down twice,” he said, and she did, familiar enough with the house now that she could picture where they were in her mind. He walked her a few steps further then stopped. “Ready?”