The Secrets Between Us (Billionaire CEO Romance)

by Katie Mettner

  “Why are you telling me all of this?” she asked, her voice soft and smooth again.

  “Because I want you to see what I see. I want you to see that you are worthy. You are worthy of living the life you want to live, not a life under the idea of self-punishment,” I held up her arm, “and justice. I want you to see that you can be happy.”

  “You’re saying survival of the fittest, basically. That I survived and therefore I’m the worthy one.”

  I shook my head, my towel slipping down to my waist, raising goosebumps on my chest. “No, survival, period the end. Survival of the person in that situation who will go on to change lives. Maybe you don’t know how yet, but someday you will. You remain here because you’re strong enough to carry the burden of Moses. The burden someone else may not have been strong enough to carry, and would have had to give their life for.”

  She was silent for a moment and then sat up, her finger caressing my cheek. “And you carry the burden of Martin.”

  I grasped her hand to my face and I never wanted to forget how it soothed me to feel her touch. “I carry the burden of knowing I can never see love as anything other than the greys.”

  She nodded with her eyes focused on the ceiling. “Which is why every relationship you've had since has gone up in flames.”

  I did the so-so hand before I answered. “More like I've made sure every relationship since Martin has gone up in flames. My sister is remarried and happy now with a man who is right for her. I grew up with loving parents and grandparents who always looked out for me. I was showered with love and kindness my entire life. You would think I could emulate that somehow. Yet, every time I sat across from a woman at dinner, the only thing I could see was Martin holding that gun on my sister with life-ending craziness in his eyes.”

  “You’re not Martin, though. He was obviously mentally ill.”

  “Sure, of course he was, but it made me wonder if one day I would become him.”

  She shook her head instantly. “That would never happen because of the reasons you just listed. Let me ask you a question.”

  I tipped my head as acknowledgment. “I’ll try to answer honestly.”

  “Is that what you see when you look at me? Do you see Martin holding a gun on your sister?”

  I rubbed my beard and rested my chin in my hand. “Honestly? I asked and she nodded. “No. When I walked in the store the first day and you were standing there all grumpy and crabby, I saw color for the first time in years. The color was red, but it was color.”

  She laughed, pink flaring to life on her cheeks. “I wasn’t grumpy and crabby. I was cautious. You made my heart beat in a way I didn’t understand. Besides, grumpy always worked for me.”

  I laughed quietly and leaned down to kiss her. Her lips were finally warm again after time spent in the snowy night. “It might have worked for you in the past, but sweetheart, I got your number,” I assured her, “and I know how to dial it.”

  My lips were on hers before she could sass me back and then my body was on top of her. Her warmth seeped into my cooled flesh to remind me I was alive. Her tongue against mine made me forget why this was a bad idea. The way her taut nipples brushed against my chest blocked out any reason why I should care. My time was coming to an end here at Cashmere Camp. I would enjoy the sensation of her warmth wrapped around me one last time before I returned to the real world. A world where the sun didn’t shine as brightly and the birds didn’t sing as sweetly. A world where my life was hemmed in by concrete and fences instead of wide-open spaces. A world without Mercy.

  I braced a knee between her thighs and laid her back, my lips demanding submission from hers. She moaned and the sound bounced around in my head while I begged my body to take it slow. To enjoy it. To take every last drop of her to get me through. My body wanted it now and my thighs shook from the exertion it required to hold back and love her thoroughly.

  “Hayes,” she moaned, my name falling from her lips as if she’d always been part of my life. She gripped my neck with her hand and held me while she kissed her way down my chest. Her tongue flicked over a nipple and then, before I could inhale, she flipped me over onto my back, the towel falling away. She did a full inspection of Hayes Rutherford four point five, and raised a brow at me in naughty enjoyment. Her hand slid under my butt and lifted my hips until her lips had settled all the way around me.

  “Jesus, Mercy,” I grunted, forcing myself not to thrust upward and make her swallow me whole. I wanted to say something else, but I bit it back, moaning instead when she caressed my tip and then swallowed the length of me again. She worked me over from top to bottom with a secret talent I didn’t know she had, but was loving every single second of. Her throaty moans radiated through me and brought me to the brink of orgasm, but she always sensed when I was close and held back until the throbbing in my dick lessened. It was only then that she went after me again with vigor.

  It was revenge for the multiple times I’d done the same to her, and that brought a smile to my face for a second before another needy whimper fell from my lips. Her soft, sexy laughter made my dick strain harder inside her and this time I couldn’t stop it. I thrust upward and she accepted all of me. She accepted all of my imperfections and faults and I knew in that moment I would forever be lost in this woman. She was loving every second of being in control, and I let her have her moment for one single reason. No one had ever given her any before. She was a secret seductress and I was the lucky guy who got to discover it. Afraid I was going to ruin my last chance to be inside her, I grabbed her roughly and drew her up next to me. My lips were back on hers and she wrapped her hand around my dick to continue her torture.

  “Damn, woman, you’re going to be the death of me,” I sighed, thrusting to match her rhythm. “I need to be wrapped in your sweet honey.”

  I flipped her around, spooned her into me, and entered her from behind. She squeaked and I paused, waiting for her to accept the new angle and tell me when she was ready. I held her belly, my lips kissing their way up and down her jawline. I suckled at her neck and moaned her name into her ear. There was no question I was being a coward making love to her the final time this way, but I couldn’t gaze into her eyes knowing I’d steal from her bed tomorrow and drive away. No matter how many times I promised her I’d be back, my track record said I’d absolutely never see this beautiful vixen again.

  Her hand came up behind her and grasped my neck, but she wasn’t satisfied. She wasn’t going to let me be a coward. She was going to do what I knew she’d do from the moment I met her. She was going to make me be a better man. I sensed it before it happened. She rolled to her back and broke the connection I had come to depend on in just the last twelve hours.

  “I want to look into your eyes when we find heaven together for the last time,” she whispered, her hand caressing my cheek.

  I swallowed, painfully aware of how much I was going to miss her for the rest of my life. “I don’t know if I can,” I admitted, settling back between her legs.

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice soft and wavering, “you can. Hayes, come with me to that place one last time,” she ordered, smoothing her palm down my face, her fingers soft and cool against my overheated cheek.

  “You’re more than I could ever hope to be, baby,” I whispered as I slid inside her again. Softer. Gentler. The passion was there, but there was something else driving me now. I didn’t want to name the emotion that filled my head, and heart, as I stoked her fire back to a fevered pitch.

  Her hand gripped the bedsheet and Justice wrapped around my neck to hold me to her. From where my head rested on hers, I watched her chocolate eyes melt slowly into a pool of liquid. I stilled and waited. Waited for that soft wave of release to wash over me so I could join her. I would join her in that place where nothing and no one mattered but the two of us. When she bucked under me, I followed her right over the edge. I followed her into the night and we came together in harmony, calling each other’s name to the universe.

 
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  HAYES

  I stepped inside the cabin and the clock glowed with bright red eyes. The bright red eyes of hell’s beast, I decided. The one who stole me from the only bed I’d ever wanted to be in.

  I grabbed my phone and hit the call icon, bringing it to my ear. I paced in the cold space while I waited for him to pick up.

  “Thank God,” my brother’s voice carried across the line. “We have a situation.”

  “Is Mom okay?” I asked, my feet moving toward the bedroom.

  “Of course,” he answered, but his voice was strained.

  “Your text said it was an emergency. I thought you meant with the family.” I lowered myself to the bed, already exhausted. “What’s the big emergency if Mom is okay?”

  “They found you.” His voice was hushed, as though he was trying not to wake someone. “They know where you are. If you don’t want to wake up to them on her doorstep tomorrow, you’ll want to get out of there now.”

  “Caleb, why don’t you just deflect them the same way you have for months?”

  Dammit, how long was I going to keep doing this? I sighed with resignation when the truth finally hit me square in the gut. There was no going back. All we could do was go forward.

  “You know what, it doesn’t even matter. We need to face facts here. They’re going to get to me eventually,” I said with acceptance.

  There was the sound of a sheet rustling and then silence for a beat until his voice filled the line again. “I’m not at the office, so I’m dealing with this mobile. I know they’re going to get to you eventually, but I’d prefer it wasn’t out in the middle of nowhere. You need to be where we can back you up, and where the lawyers are. Let the lawyers take the heat rather than you.”

  I ran my hand through my hair and scrunched my fingers, tugging at it. Am I dreaming? I swear to God this has to be a nightmare. “I just want this to be over, Caleb,” I whispered. “I’m so tired of the constant cloak and dagger. The dodge and dart. I’m too old for this.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Hayes.” His voice was sad, and I noticed for the first time, exhausted. It was with total clarity that I could see my mistake. This wasn’t just about me and Sarah. This was putting an unfair strain on him too, and that was why our relationship was slowly falling apart. “We know the truth, but the tabloids don’t and they want to make you their next cash cow.”

  I stood and threw my suitcase up on the bed one-handed. “I’m done with their game. I’m no one’s cash cow, next story, or whatever they think I’ll be. I’m heading back now. Can you meet me at the office at noon?” I grabbed my shaving kit from the bathroom while I waited for his answer.

  “I can be there by one,” he promised. “Why?”

  “We’re going to have a little tête-ả-tête with the media before Christmas Eve service.”

  “Say that again?” I heard tapping on the phone as though he wasn’t sure if the call was still live.

  “Don’t be a dick, Caleb. You heard what I said.” I zipped the suitcase closed and a box on the table caught my eye. I closed my lids and swallowed, the pain in my chest stealing my breath and overpowering my common sense.

  “I heard what you said, but I think the cold air out there has frozen your brain. We don’t give stories to the tabloids. Especially not this story.”

  “Who said anything about the tabloids?” I asked innocently. “I said the media. And by media, I mean a reputable source who will tell the story the way it should be told. Honestly and truthfully.”

  Caleb whistled low, his breath hitching. “Not so sure Sarah is going to want that. Isn’t that why we’ve been playing cloak and dagger and dodge and dart? To protect her and Huey?”

  I rubbed my temple to ease the headache building behind my eyes. The last twenty-four hours had been pure bliss and pure torture, and all of it was catching up to me. If I got home without crashing it was going to be a miracle, but I had no choice. I had to make that woman over there in cabin zero proud of me, one way or the other.

  “Listen, I know that’s been the strategy thus far, but it’s ruining my life, Caleb. I can’t even walk to my car without worrying someone will pop out of the bushes or be leaning against my car door. Forget having a shade open at home or taking a woman out to dinner. Standing here in the silence, I can hear the toll it’s taking on you, too. We have no choice but to make this end now, brother.”

  He sighed and I could see him standing in his boxers with his hand in his hair. “Why did she have to marry such a maniac?”

  I chuckled, because while it sounded crass and uncaring, it was how we all dealt with the situation since it happened. “I’ll be home by five. I’ll sleep for a few hours and then head over to Sarah’s. We’ll have a chat about all of it, but I know she’s starting to see this as unsustainable, too. We’ll put together a plan to protect Huey. His last name isn’t the same as Martin’s anymore and that should at least help at school with his friends.”

  “And then we’ll be done with it before the holidays,” he said, as though completing my thoughts.

  “Then we’ll be done with it forever, Caleb. I’m ready to be done with it and move on from that time in our lives. With Dad and Grandpa gone, Sarah and I are the only ones left who have a say in this.”

  “And if she says no to talking to the media?” he asked, his voice low and questioning. “Because she might say no.”

  “Then I’ll think of something. I don’t think she’ll say no, though. She knows this is going to come to a boiling point and she told me she doesn’t care if she gets burned, as long as Huey is protected.”

  He let out a breath and I could picture him nodding, his mind running through the checks and balances he’d have to get in place by one this afternoon.

  “We’ll go with the big NBC station. I have a friend there who can finesse it for us. I’ll call the lawyer when we hang up and have him draw up a contract. One stating that they don’t mention Huey’s name in the story. It’s public record that they had a child together, but if no one knows to look for him, it’s one more layer of protection for the family.”

  I lowered myself to the bed and let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks for always having my back, Caleb. This isn’t about Sarah or Huey, and we both know it. This is about the playboy Hayes Rutherford the Fourth keeping a secret from the world. Once the tabloids realize they’ve been scooped, they’ll go back to bottom feeding on other people’s tragedies.”

  “Or at the very least, they’ll just take pictures of you in your bathrobe getting the newspaper in the morning.”

  I barked with laughter at the vivid image in my mind from last year. “I would love to go back to those days, to be honest. Listen, I need one more favor.”

  He laughed in frustration. “Dude, I’m not going to sleep as it is.”

  “Neither am I, especially if your first call doesn’t take care of my last request.”

  “Fine, I’ll do my best.”

  “No, you’ll do it. This is the most important request I have. I don’t want the tabloids showing up here. You have to get them turned around before they ruin Mercy’s life. I won’t be the reason they discover her secrets, too.”

  I heard his breath release over the line. “I can do that. I’ll send a message out saying you came back early and you’re sleeping at home tonight.”

  “Thanks, Caleb.” I was extremely grateful to him for his willingness to clean up my messes without hesitation. “I’ll let you know when I’m back in town.”

  “Sure, but if I might suggest you don’t actually go home.”

  I snorted with sarcastic laughter. “I’m going back to where it all started, Caleb. Keep me posted if anything changes.” I glanced at the box on the table by the bed. “I’m leaving in ten minutes.”

  I hung up the phone, swiped the box off the table, grabbed a pen, and headed to the desk to let my heart bleed.

  Mercy

  He was gone. I sensed it as I lay sleeping. The essen
ce of him was gone. The heat he offered was gone. He was gone.

  I rolled over and stared at the ceiling for the longest time. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the clock. To see the exact time when he’d cut and run from my bed. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to think of him twice a day at the exact moment of his desertion. I would think of him all day every day, but the idea of seeing his defection on the clock was too much to bear.

  I wanted to go back to sleep. No, I wanted to rewind my life a week and go back to a time when I didn’t know Hayes Rutherford the Fourth. When I wasn’t in love with a man I could never have. That was the ideal wish. Go back in time and never meet the man who would end up destroying me for all others.

  Was it love or was it lust? If I could convince myself it was lust then I might stand a chance of carrying on with this life the way I had a week ago. If my heart was convinced otherwise, I was going to live in hell here on earth before I found my way there for eternity.

  I pulled the covers up closer to my neck, my room chilled, which meant the fire had died out. I should get up and stoke it, but then I’d have to face the world.

  “You’re going to have to stop pretending, Mercy. He’s never coming back, so get up and go about your business as if he never existed,” I said to the empty room. “You know that’s exactly how he’s going to go about the rest of his life.”

  I tossed my feet over the edge of the bed and remembered I was still naked, having fallen asleep in his arms after we made love. I leaned over my knees and rubbed my face. “Check yourself, Mercy. It was sex. That’s all it was.”

  I stood and grabbed clothes from the dresser on my way to the shower. I was going to warm up, get dressed, clean up my house, and move on with my life. I flipped the water on to get warm and stepped into the shower, tears on my face. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, I understood only the first three were possible.