Room for More

by Beth Ehemann

  “Why would she hate you?”

  “I don’t know. She’s just… so intimidating.” Her face lifted as her eyes finally connected with mine. “It’s hard to describe. This one person has your whole future sitting in their hands and they can either make you the happiest ever or completely squash you. And they have no clue how powerful they really are. Know what I mean?”

  I reached over and tucked a wavy piece of hair behind her ear, “I know exactly how that feels.”

  A small smile crept across her face. A real smile.

  I needed that smile.

  My stomach was still in knots as I kissed the girls and Brody good-bye.

  “Hey, you sure you’re okay?” He squeezed my hand, concern evident on his face.

  “Yeah.” I sighed. “Just wishing I were leaving with you guys. I’m jealous.”

  “Go. Quit. Dozens of little Brodys, remember?” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

  “Tempting, but I can’t. Independence, remember?” I lifted onto my tippy-toes for one last kiss. “I gotta go.”

  The girls waved on their way out the door. I leaned against the wall and watched them for a minute as they passed through the extra-wide automatic hospital doors. The sun was shining bright outside and their dark silhouettes made their way hand in hand, out to the parking lot. They walked in slow motion, as if I was watching a movie. In that moment, I wanted to run out the door after them and jump in Brody’s truck, never having to go back to that damn hospital again.

  While we were sitting at the table, innocently talking about Halloween costumes, Zach strolled down the hallway behind Brody. I don’t think he saw us, but it sent my nerves in a complete tailspin.

  I felt like a sitting duck in that damn ER. At any moment, he could come in with a patient and I would be face-to-face with him again. And eventually, I would be forced to talk to him. Lauren had grilled me on why I hadn’t told Brody that I saw him, and though I knew I should have, now wasn’t the right time. Brody and I only had a couple days left of being together before his training started, and I wanted to enjoy them. Zach working at the same hospital as me would make him feel protective and edgy, and I didn’t want us going into our first season apart full of tension.

  My running shoes clicked against the cold tile floor while I walked quickly through the hallway connecting the main building to the emergency room wing. I was so lost in my thoughts about timing and the irony of my life that I didn’t notice the big wooden door to my right swing open until Zach grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.

  “Get the hell off me!” I snapped, jerking my arm free.

  He pushed me into the janitorial closet and closed the door behind him, blocking it so I couldn’t leave.

  “Was that them?” His face was panicked, his dark brown eyes drilled into mine.

  “Was that who?” I responded, irritation dripping from my words.

  “Them. At the table… our girls.”

  My eyes widened as I fought the urge to lunge forward and strangle him with my bare hands. “They’re my girls, not yours,” I spat at him through clenched teeth.

  “That was them, wasn’t it?” His voice was gentle.

  “No, genius, I was having lunch with some other random six-year-old twins. Get out of my way.”

  He crossed his arms across his chest and stood firm. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

  “Why?” I yelled incredulously. “I can think of five years’ worth of reasons. Now move it!”

  “Kacie, please. I have so much to explain.” He took a step toward me, causing me to instinctively back up against the shelves of cleaning supplies behind me. “Can we meet up after work today? Just to talk? I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”

  “Coffee? You abandoned us for five years and you want to buy me fucking coffee?” My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might die of a heart attack right there. I grabbed on to the hem at the bottom of my scrubs so that I didn’t reach out and punch him in his damn mouth.

  “I just want to talk to you. Please?” he begged with sad, pathetic eyes.

  “Sure, we can talk—in five years!” I rushed past him and pushed the door open. “Eye for an eye, asshole!” I called back before the door closed.

  Tears were rolling down my cheeks by the time I reached the ER, though I didn’t know why. I wasn’t sad. I was mad.

  So. Fucking. Mad.

  My hands shook so fiercely, I didn’t know how I was going to be able to insert an IV, check someone’s pulse, or even write my name for the rest of the day. I wanted to run. Run straight to the bathroom, splash my face with cold water, and regain my composure the best I could, but I was already late from my break. I slid quietly back into The Square and asked Darla to update me on patients.

  “Nada,” she said, spitting pieces of chewed-up turkey sandwich all over my sleeve. “It’s been really quiet. Lady with a UTI in one, guy with a broken wrist in three. Let’s hope it stays like this for the rest of the day.”

  I smiled at her, praying to all that is holy that what she said was right. No more patients today, at least not ones that have to come in by ambulance.

  Darla’s eyes sparkled at something over the desk. I looked up to see Zach leaning against the counter, glaring down at me.

  “This isn’t over,” he said sternly, pinning me to my chair with his intense eyes.

  I swallowed hard and looked down at the desk, not wanting to make a scene in front of Darla. When I heard his footsteps fade, I looked up at Darla who was staring at me with her eyes as wide as they could possibly go.

  “Don’t ask.” I sighed, dropping my head into my folded hands on the desk. “And you have bread hanging off your bottom lip.”

  “You know by saying don’t ask, that means I’m definitely going to ask.”

  “It’s nothing. Let’s drop it.” I sat back in the chair and crossed my arms.

  “Or we can pick it up.” She giggled.

  “You’re strange, Darla, but I like you.” I peered at her out of the corner of my eye.

  “I like you too,” she said quickly as she took another bite. “Now spill it.”

  “It’s nothing. He’s just… someone I used to know.”

  Darla didn’t say anything. She just sat, staring at me and chewing loudly. It was then that I realized maybe she could give me information.

  “How long has he been an EMT? Do you know?”

  “Hmm…” Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling as she pulled her brows in, thinking hard. “It’s hard to tell because he may have worked for other companies before, but he’s been coming here for about a year I would say. Yes, definitely a year because he was at our holiday party last year. He came with one of the nurses he was dating.”

  My stomach rolled. Not a jealous roll, but an annoyed, I-Can’t-Believe-He’s-Moved-On-With-His-Life-Like-Nothing-Happened kind of roll. This hospital was roughly thirty minutes from my house. He’d been thirty minutes away from us for at least a year. Had he ever thought about us? I supposed he could have assumed we stayed in Minneapolis, but he knew my mom was my only support system. He had to have known I’d go home. Then panic started to set in.

  What if he’s going to stop by? What if he’s going to force me to talk to him, or worse, try to see the girls?

  For a moment, I started to seriously consider quitting this job, saying “screw it” to my degree, packing the girls up, and moving far away.

  “Hey! Did you hear me?”

  I jumped as Darla’s bellow brought me back to reality.

  “I’m so sorry, Darla. What were you saying?”

  “You weirded out for a minute there. Does it bother you that he was dating someone?”

  I scoffed. “No. Not at all.”

  It bothers me that he still lives in Minnesota. I would prefer somewhere like… North Korea.

  “Well, if it makes you feel any better, they broke up shortly after the holiday party. Apparently the girl he was with was caught making out with someone else in the bathroom at the part
y. Then she quit. That was it.” Darla reached in her lunch bag and pulled out a bag of cookies.

  I swear all Darla does is eat.

  “Anyway, that’s all I really know—other than he’s hot!”

  I coughed, backwashing a mouthful of water back into my bottle.

  “Sorry. You don’t think he’s hot?” She waited for my answer, but I was too busy choking. I just shook my head no. “That boy makes me want to turn into a jaguar.”

  “A what?”

  “A jaguar. You know, a woman who goes after younger men?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  “You mean a cougar?” I laughed.

  “Yeah, yeah, that’s it. I knew it was one of those feline animals.” Shoving a cookie in her mouth, a devilish grin slowly crept across her face.

  “What?” I asked nervously, unsure I wanted to hear the answer.

  “I was just thinking about that sexy, young man and what he could do to this old pussy—cat.”

  She giggled uncontrollably.

  Barf.

  “Okay, I’ve heard enough.” I stood up and walked around to the other side of the counter.

  “Where are you going?” Darla was still chuckling.

  “To chat with the woman in one about her urinary tract infection. That’s gotta be more fun than listening to you purring like a cat.” I stuck my tongue out at her and walked away while she continued laughing at herself.

  “Well, well, look who decided to show up!” Viper called out as I walked into our locker room at The House. Our first practice started in ten minutes and I’d barely made it on time.

  Good start, idiot.

  I stayed at Kacie’s until the last minute. Actually, way past when I was supposed to leave, but it wasn’t my fault. Sophia and Fred took the girls out for doughnuts unexpectedly. Kacie and I don’t have a lot of alone time, so when she chewed on her bottom lip and gave me a little look with those sexy green eyes, suddenly, nothing was more important than burying myself inside her one more time.

  “Shut it, Sally.” I glared at him. “I told you I’d be here and I am.”

  Big Mike and a few of the other guys were putting their pads on and lacing their skates up. I went around the room shaking hands and getting filled in on everyone’s summers.

  Big Mike’s wife, Michelle, had finished the first part of her pregnancy and wasn’t puking anymore. They would be finding out what they were having in a couple months and he was beyond excited about it. Who knew a father could be that proud before the baby was even born?

  Louie, our backup goalie, and his girlfriend broke up—again. He vowed to be a bachelor for the rest of his life and asked Viper to show him the ropes and all the best clubs around Minneapolis. Viper was all too happy for the new project. God help the both of them.

  Viktor’s nine-year-old son checked another kid into the boards at his peewee hockey game and was suspended for two games. The kid needed five stitches to close his chin, so in Viktor’s eyes it was completely worth it. That crazy bastard spent so much time in our penalty box, he should’ve had his mail delivered there.

  “What have you been up to, Murphy?” Louie asked as he slammed his locker shut.

  “Uh, nothing really. Spent a lot of my summer up north at my girlfriend’s place.”

  “That’s right. I heard you were all pussy crazed over some chick.”

  Louie was young and had a big mouth, so I cut him a little slack, but any more vulgar comments about Kacie and I was going to have to show him exactly why I was the captain of the team. I didn’t like people talking about her like she was one of Viper’s insignificant whores.

  “Pussy crazed is an understatement.” Viper laughed. “I barely saw this guy all fucking summer. Thought I was going to have to file a missing person’s report.”

  The locker room erupted in laughter as Viper walked over and slapped me on the shoulder before shaking my hand. “You know I’m just giving you shit, bro. Good to see you.” He leaned in suspiciously for a hug and quietly said, “Coach was looking for you awhile ago. Just a heads-up. He was mumbling and kicking garbage cans, bitching about not taking this season seriously.”

  I sighed and ran my hands through my hair in frustration as Viper went back to the bench and finished lacing up his skates.

  Might as well get this over with.

  “Come in!” Coach Collins yelled after I knocked on his office door.

  “Hey, Coach.”

  He looked up from his paperwork and stared at me for a second before leaning back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. “Murphy. Wasn’t so sure I’d see you today.”

  “Come on, Coach. You knew I’d be here. I’ve been here every day for five years.”

  He rocked back and forth slowly in his chair, his face set in a stern glare. “You’re right, you have. I just normally see you around here more in the summer. You were a little… absent this year. It worries me.”

  “I know—”

  “I don’t think you do know,” he interrupted. “These guys, they depend on you, look up to you, even the older ones. You’re the anchor of this team, Murphy.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” I tilted my head to the side, a little shocked by what I was hearing. “This team always has been, and will continue to be, my top priority. Yes, I have other things going on outside the rink right now—”

  “I’ve heard.” He rolled his eyes.

  “What the hell, Coach? Why the attitude? I said I’d be ready by opening day and I will be, just like I have been every other year. So I have a girlfriend. Big deal. Most guys on this team are either married or have girlfriends. Why am I getting the third degree?”

  Coach Collins stood and walked around his desk slowly, stopping right in front of me. “Brody, you have been with this team since the minute you graduated college, and I’ve been with you longer than any other player on this team. You grew up in Minnesota. You have ice crystals and pine needles in your blood. You are Mr. Minnesota Wild. I’ve watched as you grew into a man and, eventually, a leader right before my eyes. I love you like one of my own sons.” He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips in exhaustion as he continued. “Your contract is up this year and I only have so much control over what happens in the front office. If you don’t perform, they’re going to trade you, and just the thought of that pisses me off. Not only do I not want to lose you as a player on this team personally, but I think you’re talented and you deserve to finish up your career here, in your state, however many years away that might be.”

  Coach Collins issued me the same roundabout warning that Viper had. They were both nervous that my head would be so far in the clouds it would interfere with my game play and I would end up traded. While I appreciated their concern, it was a non-issue for me. Kacie didn’t complicate my life, she simplified it. She made me want to do better.

  I looked him straight in the eye, attempting to drive home my sincerity. “I’m good, Coach. I promise.” I extended my right hand to him.

  He looked down at my hand then back up at me, nodding slightly as he shook it.

  “I hope so, Murphy. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You won’t. And thank you for considering me one of your sons.” I tried not to laugh. “Now, can I borrow twenty bucks? Me and Viper wanna go see a movie later.”

  Coach rolled his eyes and pushed me toward the door of his office. “I’m not sure which one of you two idiots is going to give me a heart attack first.” He walked around behind his desk and sat down as he pointed to the door. “Out. Go block things. I’ll be down in a bit.”

  The first practice of the season always kicked my ass and this year’s was no exception. I work out hard in the off-season and keep in shape, but actual practice is a different kind of workout. Knowing that it was an important contract year for me, I felt even more pressure to block every single shot and focus harder than I ever had before.

  After taking Diesel for a walk, I sat down on the couch and saw that I had a mi
ssed call.

  I dialed my mom back and smiled when her cheery voice picked up. “Hello, my favorite son.”

  “Your only son,” I teased.

  “If I had ten sons, you’d still be my favorite.”

  I laughed. “How are ya, Mom?”

  “Good. Busy, busy as usual. How about you?”

  “Exhausted. First practice was today and my legs are on fire.” I pushed my palms into my sore quads, trying to give them some relief while suddenly wishing Kacie were going to school to be a massage therapist instead of a nurse. “I’m dreading standing in the shower after this.”

  “Poor baby. Sounds like you need a little R & R.”

  “Mom, I’ve only had one practice.” I laughed. “I’m not quite in need of a break yet.”

  “You work hard, Brody. You could always use a break. When do Lucy and Piper start school?”

  “Uh… a couple weeks. Why?”

  “Your dad and I were thinking we’d really like to get to know Kacie and the girls better. The hospital wasn’t exactly the ideal location for our first introduction, and other than a few phones calls here and there, we haven’t really talked to her since. Would you four want to come spend next weekend here?”

  Kacie and I hadn’t even approached the topic of her bringing the kids to my house yet, let alone my parents’.

  “Oh God, you’re not going to interrogate her, are you, Ma?”

  “Absolutely not!” she snapped. “But I’d like to get to know the woman who has stolen my son’s heart… and all of his time.”

  Ah, so that was it.

  “Ahhh, so that’s what this is about. Mom, if you want me to come home for a weekend, just ask.”

  “Of course I miss seeing you, but I do want to get to know Kacie and the girls. I promise, no ulterior motives here.”

  “Okay. Let me talk to her and have her look at her work schedule, and I’ll get back to you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Sounds good! One more question—will you be in town two weeks from Friday? I have to come into the city for my scans and since it’ll be a long day, I was hoping I could stay there. Maybe a mother-son sleepover?”