Room for More

by Beth Ehemann

  I clenched my jaw and dug my fingers into the steering wheel.

  “Think about it, Brody. The fact of the matter is he’s here and he seems different. I feel like I owe it to the girls to at least give them a shot at having a meaningful relationship with him.”

  “You owe him nothing,” I said sternly.

  “Okay, you’re right. I don’t owe him anything, but I’m thinking about it from Lucy and Piper’s perspective. I don’t want them to grow up and ask where their dad is some day and I have to tell them that he came back but I wouldn’t let him see them.”

  “What if he wants you back?”

  “Not possible,” she insisted. “I have the sexiest, sweetest, most amazing boyfriend on the planet who’s not afraid to kick his ass if he gets out of line.”

  “You can say that again—about the ass-kicking part.”

  “We want to move forward as a couple, right?”

  “Right,” I agreed.

  “Then I need your blessing on this.”

  “Why?”

  “Brody! Because! I love the way you protect the girls and me with the fierceness of a lion protecting his cubs, but you can’t kick his ass every time he comes to the house to see them.”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled like a dragon again. “When were you at the park with him? We never talked about that.”

  Her eyes dropped to her lap again. “He wanted to see the girls, but I wasn’t comfortable with introducing them to him, especially since you didn’t know yet, so I told him I would bring them to the park to play and he could watch from a distance. We were only together about fifteen minutes or so.”

  “Hm.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “That’s actually not as bad as I was picturing,” I admitted.

  “What were you picturing?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “The two of you having a picnic and pushing them on the swings together.”

  “Oh, God,” she scoffed. “Not even close. You’re the one I want to do those things with. Not him.”

  “But—”

  “Stop but-ing me and stop assuming that just because he’s back, I’m going to run off with him. You’re what I want, Brody. I want you now. I want you in ten years. I want you in fifty years. Now, let’s roll up our sleeves and work on this shit.” She winked at me.

  We pulled up to a stoplight and I used the driving break to my advantage, leaning over and kissing my girl. She grinned at me with that crinkly nose that brings me to my knees. I couldn’t imagine spending thirty years with her, and then just giving up. If I was lucky enough to one day persuade her to marry me, I was holding on tight and never letting go.

  “Why am I so nervous?” Brody asked, pacing the kitchen like an expectant father.

  I laughed. “Because they’re six and Lord knows what’s going to come out of their mouths.”

  Today was the day.

  Today was THE day.

  We were sitting the girls down and telling them about Zach. I was nervous, but excited to get the weight off my shoulders and move on. I had no idea what to expect from them when I told them. They were only six years old, after all.

  “So what are you going to say?” He sat down at the kitchen island, nervously tapping his thumb on the counter.

  “I’m going to keep it simple. They’re still pretty little, so just the basics.” I sat down across from him and held his hand, steadying it. “As they get older, they’re going to have more questions and we can get into detail then. For now, less is more.”

  “Yeah. Okay.” He sighed.

  “Are you sure you want to do this tonight?”

  It was Halloween and Brody had suggested that it would be a good night for us all to put the past behind us and take the girls trick-or-treating. I called Zach and suggested it. He was overwhelmed with my offer and thanked me profusely.

  “Yes. Let’s just rip that Band-Aid off.” He nodded.

  “By the way, I’m dying to see these costumes you have for them,” I said excitedly.

  A devilish grin slowly rolled across Brody’s lips as he cocked an eyebrow at me.

  “Okay. That face makes me even more curious than I already was.”

  A couple weeks ago, Brody asked if he could be in charge of the girls’ Halloween costumes. He said he had a plan and the girls were in on it too, but they didn’t want me to know. As a mom, Halloween costume selection was a very big deal, but I threw caution to the wind and let him have this one.

  “I’m so surprised that they haven’t told you. I really thought they would.”

  “Me too. I was kind of counting on it, actually.” I rolled my eyes.

  My heart pounded as the front door swung open. Mom and Fred had gone for a walk and had agreed to pick up the girls from the bus stop on the way back. I heard their giggling in the foyer and looked at Brody. His eyes were practically bulging out of his head.

  “That’s them!” he whispered.

  “I know. Relax.” I walked to the other side of the island where he was sitting and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “We got this.”

  He reached up and squeezed my hands. “Sleeves up, Jensen.”

  Brody and I had been saying that to each other for a couple weeks now, ever since his mom said it to us. It’d become a little thing we said to each other when we were nervous about doing something. I kissed the side of his head and took a deep breath as Lucy and Piper came running around the corner.

  “Mom!” Lucy squealed, jumping into my arms.

  Piper dropped her backpack and sat at the island, propping her chin on her hand. “Can we have a snack?”

  “Yes, in just a minute, okay?” I set Lucy down in the chair next to Piper and sat across from them. “We want to talk to you for a minute.”

  My mom kissed my cheek as she passed through the kitchen. “Good luck,” she whispered in my ear.

  I gave her a tight smile and looked at Lucy and Piper. Their little faces stared back at me, blinking innocently. In twenty years, they probably wouldn’t remember the conversation we were about to have, but I would never forget it. All of our lives were about to change, forever.

  “So…” I took a deep breath, preparing myself. “Remember a few weeks ago when you said that there was a little boy at school who said Brody was your daddy?”

  They both nodded.

  “And remember how we told you that you could tell anybody you wanted that Brody was your daddy?”

  “Yes, like we told the man at the hockey game,” Piper stated proudly.

  “Exactly,” I answered. “Well, it wasn’t completely true.”

  They both frowned in confusion.

  “You guys know that I love Brody, right?”

  They nodded again.

  “Well, before I loved Brody, I loved another man… a long time ago. His name was Zach.”

  Lucy’s eyes lit up. “The man from the park!” she exclaimed.

  I flashed Brody a quick glance, thankful that he was so focused on the girls the park comment didn’t seem to bother him at all. “Yes, the man from the park. Like I said, a long time ago we loved each other. And we loved each other so much, we made you guys.”

  Brody looked down at the table and took a deep breath.

  “So Zach is our dad?” Lucy’s little face twisted with such confusion as to where she’d come from; it made my chest ache.

  “Yes, honey. Zach is your real daddy.” I swallowed the lump in my throat that formed instantly as those words left my mouth.

  “But I want Brody to be my daddy.” Piper’s chin started to quiver.

  “I know you do, but—”

  “Brody kills all the spiders and he’s really good at tying our shoes, Mom. He should be our daddy.”

  “Listen,” Brody interrupted. “Just because I’m not technically your daddy doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere. I’ll still be here to kill all the spiders and tie your shoes and build your forts. Forever and ever, okay?”

  “Pinkie swear
?” Piper asked quietly, holding her tiny pinky finger in the air.

  “How about we change it to Twinkie swear?” Brody grinned. “It’ll be our own secret way to promise each other something.”

  “Yay!” Lucy clapped.

  “And yes, I Twinkie swear. Forever.” They wrapped pinkies and Twinkie swore before Brody cleared his throat and continued, “Think about it. How cool is this? You guys get one mommy and two daddies! You’re the luckiest kids ever!”

  Lucy searched Brody’s face adoringly, thinking about what he’d just said.

  Piper, on the other hand, wasn’t affected as deeply. “Mom, can we have a snack now?”

  I’d agonized over telling them about Zach for days, and the whole conversation was over in five minutes flat. They hopped off their stools and each grabbed an apple out of the fridge before they ran down the hall.

  I puffed out my cheeks as I exhaled. “Wow. That was interesting.”

  “Interesting is an understatement.” Brody patted the stool next to him, signaling for me to move around the island and sit next to him.

  I walked over and sat, immediately leaning into him and resting my head on his arm. “I’m so sorry about that.”

  He played with a strand of my hair but didn’t respond.

  “I wanted you here and I know you wanted to be here, but I’m sorry you had to hear it like that, ya know?”

  “Don’t sweat it. They’re little. It’s hard to explain all of this without freaking them out and giving them way more science than they’re ready for.” He laughed. “As they get older, they’re going to ask questions, but it won’t matter. They’ll already love me way more than they love him anyway.”

  I sat up and grinned at him. “Duh. How could they not?”

  He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and smiled at me, showcasing those adorable dimples.

  “I love you, Murphy.”

  “I love you, More.”

  Brody quickly pulled his phone out and looked at the screen. “What time is what’s-his-name coming over?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “Trick-or-treating starts at four o’clock. He said he’d be here at quarter ‘til, so any minute?”

  “Shit!” He jumped off the stool. “I gotta help the girls put their costumes on.” He walked over to the backpack he brought and took out two sets of black sweatpants and sweatshirts and handed them to me. “Can you take these in there and ask them to put them on? I’ll help with the rest.”

  “Black sweats?” I cocked my head to the side. “You guys have me totally thrown off.”

  “Good.” He handed me the sweats and smacked my ass as I headed down the hall.

  The girls giggled and tortured me the whole time I got them dressed, laughing about how funny it was that I didn’t know what their costumes were. I tried asking questions and digging around for clues, but they just covered their mouths and grinned at each other.

  They followed along behind me as I walked back out to the kitchen. “Okay, they have on their—” I stopped dead in my tracks with the girls bumping right into me. Zach stood on one end of the kitchen, leaning against the counter. Brody sat at the island with his hands folded in front of his mouth.

  “Hi,” I said nervously.

  “Hi.” Zach smiled and waved. “Brody let me in.”

  “Well, the evening is starting off on the right foot already. At least he let you in the door.” I laughed, trying to ease the tension in the room.

  Zach offered up a fake laugh and Brody cracked a smile.

  I considered that a win.

  Lucy called out, “Hi, Zach.”

  “Uh, you should probably call him… What should they call you?” I stuttered.

  Zach shrugged. “Whatever you guys are comfortable with. Really.”

  “Brody’s our dad and we call him Brody.” Piper skipped around the island.

  Holy crap, now I was worried Zach was going to be offended. Was it always going to be that way? Me freaking out and on edge that someone was going to have hurt feelings?

  “So call me Zach. I’m cool with that,” he said.

  “Brody, we’re ready for our costumes,” Lucy tugged on his shirt.

  Brody’s face softened. “You are?” He looked down at Lucy. “Well, come on, then.” He stood up and started out of the kitchen.

  “Where are you going?” I asked as they followed along behind him.

  “I didn’t trust you not to snoop, so I left them in my truck.” He laughed on his way out the door.

  Zach and I stood in the kitchen awkwardly, not making eye contact with each other.

  “He really loves them,” he finally said.

  “He does. A lot.”

  “I can tell. They’re lucky to have him.”

  I nodded in agreement. “Very lucky.”

  “I’m lucky too.” He sighed.

  “How so?”

  “That you invited me here to be part of this tonight. I really appreciate it.”

  “Don’t thank me; it was Brody’s idea.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “It was?”

  I nodded again. “He thinks that we need to try and move forward.”

  “Wow.” He looked at the ground and shook his head slowly. “I’m impressed.”

  I heard the front door swing open again and turned toward the hall, excited to see what Brody had cooked up.

  “Mommy! Come here!” Lucy called from the foyer.

  I looked at Zach and shrugged. “Guess it’s the moment of truth.” I walked up front with Zach following behind.

  When I got to the foyer, I pulled my hands up to my mouth, trying to contain my laugh. Standing at the front door, side by side, were Lucy and Piper in the cutest Twinkie costumes I’d ever seen. “What in the world? Where did you find those?”

  Brody looked down at the girls proudly. “I had them made. Aren’t they perfect?”

  “We’re cute!” Lucy clapped.

  “Do you want to bite us?” Piper asked, giggling.

  “You guys look SO cute!” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and aimed it at them. “Smile! Brody, get in there with them for one.” He walked up behind them and squatted down in the middle. “Say, Happy Halloween.” They smiled and I clicked away.

  “Want me to take one of the four of you?” Zach asked, holding out his hand for the phone.

  “Really?” I asked. “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Of course not.” He took the phone from me. “Hop in there.”

  I walked up behind the girls and squatted next to Brody, who wrapped his arm around my waist. That moment was incredibly surreal to me. Overwhelming even. As my past was taking a picture of my present, a calm wrapped its arms around me and I just knew things would be okay. Brody and Zach were acting like champs around each other and the girls had handled the news perfectly. Could life get any better?

  “We better get going, Twinkies,” Brody said excitedly. “There’s a lot of candy out there to claim.”

  “Wait, one more pic. Zach, you wanna take one with Lucy and Piper?”

  Zach nervously rolled his top lip in between his teeth. “I would love it, if you guys wouldn’t mind.” He pointed to Brody and me.

  I took my phone from him and stepped around front.

  “Have at it.” Brody stepped to the side.

  After the picture of Zach and the girls, Lucy jumped up and down. “We need one of all of us, Mommy! One more!”

  I looked up at Brody and bit my lip nervously before glancing over at Zach who had shoved his hands in his pockets and seemed beyond uncomfortable with the prospect.

  “Uh…” I stalled, trying to decide how to deal with the awkward situation.

  “Come on.” Brody walked over behind the girls again. “I have long arms. I’ll try and get everyone in. Let’s go.”

  Zach looked at me and shrugged as a small smile cracked his lips.

  Why the hell not?

  I squeezed in between Zach and Brody.

  We snapped a few more pictures and
were out the door.

  Two hours of walking door-to-door and the adults were complaining more than the kids.

  “Do they always have this much energy?” Zach yawned.

  “Unfortunately, yes.” I laughed. “They never stop moving.” They’re going to have enough candy to last them until next Halloween.” Zach shook his head as they ran past us to the next house.

  “Not after the candy tax,” Brody joked.

  Zach turned and frowned at him. “Candy tax?”

  “Yeah. Once the kids go to bed, the parents get to raid the bags and pick out their favorites as a tax for walking all night.”

  Zach threw his head back and laughed. “I think I’m gonna like the candy tax.”

  Lucy and Piper looked up, saying something to the older man who had just dropped candy in their bags. As they waved good-bye and ran down the sidewalk toward us, I stopped them. “What were you saying to that man?”

  “Oh!’ Lucy shrugged. “He asked if that was Brody Murphy on the sidewalk and we told him yes, that we have two dads and Brody is one of them.” She grinned.

  “You told him that?” I blurted out.

  “Yeah, lots of people asked about Brody and we told all of them that he was one of our two dads.” Piper said proudly. “Come on, Lucy!” They linked hands and sprinted off for the next house.

  Brody, Zach, and I stood frozen on the sidewalk with our mouths open.

  “Did she just tell people—” Zach stopped halfway through his sentence and looked at Brody and me.

  “I believe she did.” Brody laughed hard. Zach and I followed suit.

  “Oh my God,” I said as my laughter died down. “I’m so sorry. People are going to think you and Zach are…”

  He grinned and shook his head, chuckling. “Andy’s going to have a good time explaining this one to the tabloids on Monday.”

  8 months later…

  Today is June 24th.

  Two months ago today, my team was knocked out of the play-offs by the fucking Chicago Blackhawks, once again. Despite my rough start to the season, I ended it with more wins and more saves than any other season in my career.