She kept the whole wash-and-rinse routine quick and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her breasts. In her bedroom, she pulled on her pajamas, then opened up the door. Maddox was sitting on the couch, avoiding her eyes.
“I ordered Chinese,” he said. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I got a bit of everything.”
She nodded and curled up at the other end of the couch. Turning her attention to the TV, Casey tried to keep track of the news, but she found she was tuning it out. Her head was too full of questions she’d been asking herself for years. She wondered whether she would ever be able to move past Saxon. She knew she would never not love him, but did she have room in her heart for someone else.
Casey glanced at Maddox. Could it be him? Could he be her second chance? By the way he shut her down before, she’d have to agree that the answer was probably not. He’d made his opinion clear. Heaving a sigh, she got settled in, waiting for their food to arrive.
* * *
Casey walked out of her first class back after the Christmas break and let out a sigh. The lecture had been boring, but she’d taken notes like she was supposed to, reacted how she was supposed to, and answered questions like she was supposed to.
But she wasn’t feeling like she was supposed to.
Normally, an overall feeling of grief layered everything she did. It had been that way for the past six and a half years, but there was a lightness to her now that she couldn’t place.
Gathering up her laptop, she stuffed it back into her bag, then stood up, stretching. Maddox was waiting outside for her like he said he would.
“How was class?” he asked, not looking at her.
“Fine.” Without waiting for him, she took off down the path that bisected the college. “Why won’t you look at me?” she blurted out.
“What?” He turned his face to her, but his eyes bounced around, not landing on anything in particular.
“You’re not looking at me. I want to know why.”
“You’re insane,” he muttered in reply, folding his arms and finally letting his gaze find her face. She met his stare.
“Am I? Because after what happened last night in the par—”
“Jesus, nothing happened last night in the park.”
“Yes, it did.” She swallowed thickly. “I was… crying, and you held me, and for a moment, there was something.”
“No, there wasn’t.” His gruff brush-off hurt more than it should. “Can we just get to your next class?”
She pulled to a stop, and the bastard stopped right along with her, just like she knew he would. “We need to clear the air.”
“There’s no air to clear.”
“Yes, there is,” she pressed. “Tell me what the problem is.”
He seethed quietly for a moment before yanking her off the path and dragging her into the nearest building, which happened to be the library. Deeper and deeper they went until they stopped in some referencing section Casey had never seen before.
“This is my problem,” Maddox growled, stepping close and rolling his hips into hers.
Good God. His erection was straining against his jeans, wanting out. He rolled into her again, pressing against her core and letting out a groan that could’ve been pleasure or pain. Casey was stunned for a moment before her head got her back in the game. She reached up and clutched at his biceps, holding herself steady as he rolled his hips again, creating a delicious friction.
Her mouth parted as she panted, tasting him on her tongue, his dark spiced scent rolling around like a fine wine.
“This is my fucking problem,” he growled, right before kissing her with so much passion that she was glad she had something to hang onto. She dug her fingers into his arms, feeling the firmness of his muscles and the smoothness of his skin. His tongue plunged into her mouth, the advance and retreat mimicked by his hips. She moaned softly, the sound captured by Maddox as he claimed her.
When he broke away from her, his eyes churned with his wolf, but he didn’t let her go. He thrust into the cradle of her hips once more, then stepped free, flat-backing it against the shelves on the opposite side of the book tunnel and folding his arms like he was holding himself back from taking her down to the low-napped carpet.
She touched her mouth gently, then looked at him with wonder. She waited for the guilt to slam into her, for the sense of loss she would never overcome, but it never came.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that when you’re still so clearly in love with your mate.”
“I…” Casey had no words, which was a first. “I…”
He waved his hands in front of him, erasing anything she might say. “No, don’t say anything. Nothing can happen between us. I’m supposed to be keeping you safe, not getting into your pants. It won’t happen again.”
Chapter Ten
Maddox stalked from the library and walked across the lawn. Fuck. How could he have lost control like that? How could he have kissed her and dry-fucked her? She wasn’t for him. He wasn’t for anyone, least of all her. He’d heard the absolute sadness in her voice when she’d spoken about her mate. He heard it, so why would he think that she’d want his scrub ass.
With another curse, he ran a hand through his hair and looked up. Casey was walking toward him, her face flushed. She met his eyes directly and held them.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Fuck. “Yeah… I’m sorry that happened.”
He’d already said that, though, hadn’t he? Well, it never hurt to grovel for forgiveness a second time, especially if it was forgiveness from the female you were supposed to be protecting.
“I don’t need your fucking apologies, Maddox,” she replied. “What I need is for you never to do that to me again. Am I making myself understood?”
Her words were like a dagger to the heart. And when he spoke, he knew his voice would be low and pissed off. “Crystal clear.”
“Good.” Yanking her pack a little higher, she started back toward their apartment. He followed her, making sure to keep his head in the fucking game. Without meaning to, he watched the sway of her hips in those yoga pants she was so fond of wearing. Her ass was perfect, as were her hips and her legs. Her hair was loose today, just a sheet of red hair that fell to just below her shoulder blades. It swayed as she walked, gracefully swinging with her gait.
His erection punched out at his zipper, and his wolf whispered a word he didn’t think he’d ever hear…
Mate.
Maddox ground his teeth. Casey wasn’t their mate. Making sure the hem of his t-shirt was covering his pounding cock, he followed her home, all the while feeling like he was tracking his prey.
Casey locked herself in her room as soon as they got back, and he was left pacing outside her door. He was splitting in two. One side of him wanted to go in there and damn well finish what he’d started in the library, and the other side of him wanted to leave her the fuck alone. He settled on an unhappy middle ground––he would pace in front of her bedroom door like the dog he was, waiting for the next time she had to look at him. His wolf was more than happy to wait their mate out, but the human side of his brain knew it was wrong to force his feelings on her.
Without warning, Casey yanked open the door and caught him pacing. Her eyes narrowed. “What are you doing?”
Maddox’s hands curled into tight fists as he fought every single impulse he had to claim her. “We need to talk.”
She rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you said enough, Maddox?” Brushing past him, she went into the kitchen, popped open the fridge, and grabbed a soda. He followed her in, but it was not his brain giving the instructions. It was his wolf.
Casey leaned back against the counter and opened her drink. Taking a sip, she eyed him as he approached, then put her soda can beside her and folded her arms. “You got something to say to me?”
Planting his hands on either side of her body, he got in nice and close. Her sweet cotton candy scent intensified, telling him that although she said she never wanted him to get in
her personal space again, she was glad he was.
“I’m fucked in the head.”
She arched a brow and tilted her head to the side, studying him. “Yeah, you are.” Her words sliced at him––just another cut to add to his already mutilated body. “But so am I.”
“You aren’t, princess. You’ve been beaten and battered, but you aren’t fucked in the head from everything you’ve suffered from.”
“How can you say that?” she whispered. “I can’t stop mourning the loss of a male that wasn’t technically mine. I never knew how he felt about me. We never got mated. Maybe it was all an infatuation I’d made up in my head.” She fell silent. “If that’s not messed up, I don’t know what is.”
“Your wolf had claimed him, though, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then that’s all that mattered.” He focused on her mouth, wanting to place his lips on hers, wanting to sweep his tongue inside. Tasting her once hadn’t been enough. Having the memory of her mouth on his was torture. “I shouldn’t want you this badly,” he murmured.
Her eyes flared with understanding, and he waited for her to push him away, to reject him like everyone else in his life had. Hell, it was par for the course with him.
“You want me?”
With a barely concealed groan, he rolled his hips into hers. “I’m burning for you.”
Her eyes fluttered shut as she swayed a little. When her lids cracked open again, her gray-eyed wolf was front and center.
“If what you said before still stands, if you don’t want me, tell me, and I’ll back off.”
Clutching at his arms, Casey tightened her fingers. “I’m broken,” she whispered. Her tears were quiet like she didn’t want to draw attention to them at all. Leaning forward, he kissed the salty drops away, tasting her sadness.
Moving his mouth to her ear, he told her, “We’re all broken somehow.” He dropped his lips to her neck, kissing her softly, licking her skin, and feeling her pulse pound beneath his tongue. Casey gasped and tightened her fingers once more, dragging him closer until he was sure she’d be happy to wear him like a second skin.
It was a good thing he felt the exact same-fucking-way.
Skimming his hand under the bottom of her shirt, his fingertips undulated over her delicate ribs, her skin hot. Her whimpers when he reached the underside of her breast were a fucking symphony to his ears. She arched into his hand, craving more of his touch. Dropping his head into the crook of her neck, he gently nipped her with his teeth, licking over the spot to ease away the sting.
“I want to taste you,” he murmured, kissing her again. Her cotton candy scent was stuck in his nose, swirling through his head. Without knowing it, she was marking him as hers, and he’d gladly give up his autonomy for her. Because when a male gave their lives to their mate, this was what happened. There was nothing they could do or say to drive them away. Instinct would always bring them back, and love would always bind them.
Easing her shirt up off her torso, he growled his approval when Casey lifted her arms and waited for him to strip the cotton off her. He dropped it to the floor beside them, his focus completely on Casey and her beautiful body. In her black sports bra and yoga pants, she shouldn’t be a fucking knockout, but to him, she was. It was never about what she wore, or how much makeup she used, or how long her hair was. Casey’s beauty was and always would be about what she was on the inside. And on the inside, she was a fighter. She was loyal. She would be his.
He kissed the hollow between her collarbones, dipping his tongue into the recess and sucking gently on her warm skin. She fisted the hem of his shirt tightly, drawing the fabric tight around his torso. He moved lower, growling when he came to the barrier of her sports bra.
“Can we lose this?” he asked, running his finger under one strap.
Dazed, she nodded and quickly shucked the bra. Her breasts were exposed to him, and like a savage, he captured them in his hands and thumbed her nipples. Casey’s head tipped back, exposing the slender column of her throat. His wolf groaned in happiness—their mate showing them her neck was the ultimate sign of trust.
He lifted her onto the counter, the new height giving him better access.
Lowering his head, he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, tonguing and suckling at the sensitive flesh. Casey’s appreciative groan was all he needed to hear. Her fingers speared into his hair as the scent of her arousal flared. It was like a fucking fog horn in the murky mist. Maddox switched his attention to the other perfect globe until his cock simply couldn’t handle it anymore—it was jammed against his zipper, bent at an odd angle.
As if reading his thoughts, Casey burrowed her hands between them and slipped the top button of his jeans free. Next was the zipper, and then the sweet relief of returned blood flow. Before she could wrap her warm palm around him, he jerked his hips back.
“You touch me, and I’m going to come,” he murmured around her nipple. He rolled his eyes up to look at her. Her cheeks were deliciously flushed, her hair sliding forward on her shoulders. Her pink tongue darted out, wetting her lips and making him groan. His hips surged forward, seeking that secret place between her hips.
Fuck. He had his fair share of females, but he’d never wanted any of them as badly as he wanted Casey.
Drifting his fingertips down her flat stomach, he reached the edge of her yoga pants and knew he needed them gone. Casey dragged her hands from their hold on his head and planted them behind her. With a push, she lifted her hips off the counter, giving him the permission and access he needed. Pulling both the soft cotton of her yoga pants and her panties down over her hips and ass, he gently removed them from her legs.
Casey opened her thighs a little, giving him a tantalizing glance at the heat between her legs. Fuck, he wanted to get in there. Unable to wait, he dragged a finger up the inside of her knee, up to her thigh, and closer to the heart of her. Casey’s breath left her in short, sharp pants, her mouth open, her tongue darting out to swipe at her bottom lip.
With a growl, he kissed her roughly, then dropped to his knees. Easing her legs up onto his shoulders, he wedged his broad shoulders into that space which was a little slice of heaven made just for him. He stared at her, listened to the small gasps, smelled her arousal. She was a literal feast for the senses, and he knew he would never forget a second of it.
Raising his eyes to her, he asked, “Say stop. Say it now if you don’t want my mouth on you, my tongue penetrating you, my lips worshiping you.”
She shook her head, her gray-eyed wolf sliding into her eyes for a brief moment. “I don’t want you to stop. Take me, Maddox. This is what I want.”
That was all he needed to hear. He’d intended on easing her into this slowly, but his self-control was laying in tatters on the floor beside her clothes. He drove straight for the goal, attacking her pussy with his mouth in an erotic kiss. He groaned when her cotton candy taste hit the back of his tongue. She tasted so sweet. Wrapping his hands around the tops of her thighs, he held her in place as he devoured her.
She dug her fingers into his scalp, the pressure she caused jacking him up. Reaching one hand down between his legs, he grabbed his aching cock and stroked it a couple of times. It did nothing to relieve the pressure boiling up, but it did satisfy the bastard that his time would come.
His name, said on a gasp, made him groan. Casey dug her fingers in even harder, urging him closer. Attacking her pussy with his tongue, lips, and teeth was soon becoming his favorite thing. He wanted to be in between her legs as often as she’d let him, which he hoped was every-fucking-day.
“More,” she moaned, rolling her hips forward, pressing closer. “I want more.”
He smiled fiercely as he slid a finger into her slick heat. She cried out in pleasure as he sunk the digit into the first knuckle then began pumping. He maintained his assault on her pussy, flicking his tongue over her clit, feeling her inner walls begin to clench. When she grasped hanks of his hair, pulling and sending a sharp-shooter
worth of oh-fuck to his pain receptors, he knew she was close. So close. She came screaming his name, the two-syllables drawn out until it sounded like a benediction.
A prayer.
A fucking plea.
He’d never considered himself to be worthy of anything like that, but he found hearing it on her lips, he felt like a fucking god.
Chapter Eleven
Casey was seeing stars. On the kitchen ceiling. As she got her head back level, she breathed through the last few quakes of her orgasm and released her hold on Maddox’s hair and head. He looked up at her, his sinful tongue still lapping at her core even though she was still wracked by the aftershocks.
“You taste like cotton candy,” he said, kissing her once more on her pussy, then her inner thigh, and then her knee as he eased back. Staring down at him, she wondered whether he knew no other male had done that to her before.
With a surge of power, he stood, his erection proud and insistent at the front of his hips. She eyed his cock, another flood of warmth hitting her between her thighs. She wanted him in her. Badly. Maddox wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked himself. Casey’s eyes flew to his face, seeing the satisfied look in his eyes.
“You want this, princess?”
She bobbed her head, realizing his nickname for her didn’t bother her. It was never the word itself that was so offensive—it had been the derision and antipathy in his tone that had ticked her off. But right now? There was such softness in his voice, such… reverence.
Holding out his hand to her, she took it and slid from the kitchen counter. He led her into her bedroom. She stood there and watched him strip out of his clothes, the normally mundane thing turning into an erotic peep show she would file away and bring out in the future.
He laid down, pulling her on top of him. Casey split her thighs over his hips and sat up, staring down at the very male body beneath her. His skin was tanned, the muscles beneath strong. He felt like warmed velvet under her fingertips, and she took her time tracing the thick pads of his pecs, the more streamlined muscles of his neck and shoulders, and then drew her attention down. His abdominal muscles looked as if they’d been carved from stone, each one carefully crafted by the mason.
The Helheim Wolf Pack Novellas: The Complete Collection Page 34
