Time For Love Box Set

by Karen Deen

  Little does Xavier realize the torture began hours ago. Right about the time I got out of bed and walked away from Grant. Nothing is going to hurt as much as that. Today is going to be a very long day. I can feel it in my bones. I just try to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. Nothing else matters right now.

  Chapter Twenty

  Grant

  Although the shower is small, the hard needles of hot water are just what I need to soothe my muscles. I run and workout every day, taking great pleasure in my fitness and looks. A night with Zara put any workout in the gym to shame. That woman had me using every last bit of stamina I had to keep her happy last night. It was the most amazing night. Then to wake up with her in my arms was a totally different sensation that moved my soul.

  I hear my sisters talking about chick flicks and those books with the near-naked men on the covers. The ones that always end happily ever after. They swoon over the hot guy and say things about soulmates. Until last night, I thought it was all a load of bullshit. Until Zara’s soul merged and became one with mine. I felt it all night. When I kissed her, was inside her and as she fell asleep on my chest with the most beautiful smile on her face. Her soul had found its home in me. There is no other place I want her soul to be than right here with mine. As one.

  Thank god, I don’t need to go into the office today. Showering, using Zara’s soap is going to give Luke plenty of ammunition. If I walk into the office smelling like a woman, all fruity, there will be questions. I already organized yesterday to take today out of the office. My secretary nearly choked when I told her I will be working from home. In all the years she’s worked for me, I have never not showed up to the office. Time to shake things up a bit. Time to live a little. I know I won’t be able to last long trying this but today is important.

  While I stand in the shower, I think of all the things I need to say to Zara. All the reasons why she needs to listen to me and just think about what I’m proposing. She needs to give me a chance to show her I’m nothing like those other men. Most importantly, I need her to understand that no matter what, I’m not walking away. I can’t. Not now. No matter what I said.

  “Last chance, Zara. You sure you don’t want to be my towel girl and rub me down? I promise I won’t mind.” I chuckle as I walk out of the bathroom. Everything sounds so still. There’s no noise coming from either the kitchen or the bedroom. Maybe Zara crawled back into bed to wait for me and fell asleep. I wouldn’t blame her. I’m pretty exhausted, too. There was little to no sleep last night.

  Investigating, I can’t find her in either spot. My heart starts to pick up pace, slightly concerned as to where she’s gone. I’m sure there will be a logical explanation to her disappearance although I don’t have a good feeling. Maybe she ducked out to buy coffees rather than make them. She should have waited. I would have done that for her. It would have given me satisfaction to pamper her this morning. Along with the coffee, there would have been fruit salad, yoghurt and bagels. Nutrition is really important to her at this point in time, I imagine. To be an elite athlete, you need to put the right fuel in your body. That’s what Zara is, a gorgeous elite athletic dancer.

  Thinking of breakfast, I notice the note she’s left on the bench for me. There’s no need to worry where she is.

  That was of course until I pick up the note. I stare at way too many words on the page which tell me she hasn’t gone for coffee. Fuck.

  Dearest Grant,

  Last night was the most amazing night of my life. Not that I ever doubted it wouldn’t be. I fought you at every turn but in the end, I couldn’t resist the pull you have on me. No man has ever made me feel the way you do. The raw emotion you touched me with has become buried in my soul. No man will ever touch that part of my soul again.

  I knew when I agreed to one night, walking away would be hard but I never expected to feel like I do. Please know this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than any hurdle I have ever faced. It hurt too much to say this to you face to face. So, I took the cowards way, and ran. I know you will be angry and hurt and you have every right to be. Know that I’ve done this for you, as much as me. It is not fair for me to leave you hanging while I go off to live my dream. By ending this before it even has time to start is the best thing for us both.

  You will hurt for a while but then you will be free to move on with your life and find the woman who is meant to stand by your side and make you happy. I hope she’s good to you and loves you with all she is. That is what you deserve.

  In another time, another place, that woman would have been me, but it was not meant to be. That will be my biggest regret.

  My biggest wish for you is love and happiness. Take care, and always know, I will never forget last night. You will forever own my heart.

  Zara x

  P.S Please honor your promise of walking away. I’m not sure I will be strong enough to do this on my own. Please don’t make it harder than it already is. Just lock the door on the way out, please. Believe me, it’s better for you this way.

  “No fucking way am I letting you go that easy. You may think it’s best for me, but you don’t get to make that decision. How can you not tell what I felt last night? I’ve fallen so hard for you and I can’t bear to let you go. Not happening, no matter what you want.” I know she can’t hear me, but I’m so angry, it all just comes rushing out. I dial her number and listen to the rings.

  “Zara, pick up your cell. We need to talk.”

  Goddammit, woman!

  For the third time, her cell goes straight to messages. My guess is she’s turned it off, so I can’t get ahold of her. Little lady, you think you can hide from me then you don’t know me as well as you think. You may be stubborn, but I can top that. I never give in when there’s something or someone I want. I am also very good at playing the waiting game to get the right deal across the line. This is no different, baby. I will wait right here in your apartment. You’ll come home eventually. I will be here waiting for you with my arms wide open. My soul is already aching at the thought of losing you. You’re right about one thing. It fucking hurts and I don’t like it. The sooner we get this sorted, the sooner the pain goes away.

  Let the dance begin, my beautiful ballerina. No matter which way you leap, I will always be there to catch you safely in my arms, where you belong.

  I can’t sit with all my anger. Pacing is all I can do, and this apartment isn’t big enough. I can’t leave as it isn’t guaranteed Zara will let me back in to talk to her. This is my only shot, waiting her out.

  Wondering where she’s gone has my mind working overtime. Would she have run to the studio? Surely not. That would be the first place I would look if I was game enough to leave here. I just want to know where she is. Is she okay? If her heart is hurting as much as mine, she will be a mess. I need to be there to take care of her. I’m torn as to what to do.

  Desperate times call for desperate measures. I will pay for this, but it’s the only thing I can think of doing.

  “Morning, big brother, what’s up?”

  “Zach, I need your help and it’s urgent. Sorry, I know you’re busy with Emily and the kids and I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t really important.”

  “Whoa, slow down, Grant. What is going on? I have never heard you this panicked. It doesn’t matter what is going on, I’m there. What do you need?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me how much it hurts to love a woman?”

  “I knew it, man. She’s your one, isn’t she? Zara has you by the balls and you don’t know how to handle it.”

  “Man, I wish she had me by the balls right now, at least I would know where she is. Long story, but she’s trying to protect her heart by running from me. Don’t ask details, but I am at her apartment waiting for her to come back but I can’t leave. Can you go to the studio and check if she’s there? She will be upset. I need to find her. I am going out of my fucking mind. She isn’t answering her phone. If she is there, just message me and I will come. Whatever
the fuck you do, don’t let her leave. Even if you have to tie that crazy woman to the dance bar to stop her.”

  I can hear both him and Emily giggling. The bastard put me on speaker phone.

  “Zach, you’re an ass, but I don’t have time to argue with you. Can you just do it? And good morning, Emily.”

  “Morning, Grant. Let me guess, she tried to fuck you out her system last night but all it did was plant you deep in her soul and now she’s running scared. How did I do?”

  “Yep, you got it in one. Now can we talk about this later, please? Zach, call me as soon as you get there. I need to know if she is okay.”

  “Okay, I’m leaving as we speak. All jokes aside, man, don’t give up on her. Don’t be a dumbass like I was and wait too long. It took our nosy family getting involved to give me that push. Let me assure you, that’s a pain you can do without. Whatever you need, I am here. Talk as soon as I find her.”

  Emily joins in. “Exactly. Lilly and Aleshia are the last people you need helping you at the moment. Mind you, I wouldn’t have this hot man in my life if they hadn’t, so I can’t complain too much. She won’t run far, Grant. It will be okay.”

  “I hope you are right, Em. Thanks, Zach. I know I can be a jerk, but I love you, man. Thanks for being here for me. I have lost control and I don’t know what to do. I have never been in this spot before. I feel like I am drowning.”

  “It’s okay I love you too, man. No matter what I am always here. That is what family does. We take care of our own. Zara is your woman, so she is one of our own, too. I will try to find her and take care of her.”

  I need something to do while I wait to hear from Zach. I decide to do some work from my cell. I log into my work emails and start firing replies to the hundreds that have turned up overnight. I hope they aren’t expecting politeness in any replies, because I’m fresh out of it. In fact, I’m so pissed, my dick is rock hard.

  Only she does that to me. She makes me so mad and turns me on all at the same time. When Zara finally walks through that door, I’m not sure if I want to scream at her first, kiss her, or pin her to the door and fuck her hard. Hard enough she remembers what it feels like and never wants to leave me again.

  Come home, Zara, I need you. I have never needed anyone, ever.

  But I need you. Where are you, baby?

  Zara

  “No matter what’s happening in my life, remind me never to tell Xavier I need a hard workout.” I stand in the shower trying to lift my arms to wash my hair. My triceps burn like hell. I can still see the satisfied smile on his face as I groaned at him while he put me through my paces.

  “At least he kept quiet. Normally, all I hear from you two is noise. You screaming at him to shut up, him laughing and still giving you heaps. I don’t think you really would have been up for that this morning.” Natalie stands at the edge of the shower room. Some would think it’s weird she stands there watching me shower, but we have no secrets. Natalie is my best friend and we have been through a lot together. She never looks at me any different. That’s what besties do. She knows I need company right now, because being alone leaves too much time to think. I need to be busy.

  “My body is not thanking me for that, but my heart is. You’re right, today Xavier and his smart mouth would have been too much. If I am honest, my muscles aren’t just aching from my workout this morning.” My mind starts the movie reel of memories of every position Grant had me in last night.

  “Are you sure you really want to do this? The look on your face just then as you relived your night with him, tells me you are crazy, girl. Be honest, he was the best man you have ever had, wasn’t he? The best sex ever?”

  “For fuck’s sake, Nat, it isn’t just about sex, you know.”

  “It isn’t just sex, is it, Zara? That’s the problem, isn’t it? You feel so much more than you would if he was just fucking you?”

  “More than you can imagine,” I whisper but she hears me.

  “I think that is your answer, sweetie. I know you don’t want to, but I think you need to talk to him. At least give him a chance. It can’t hurt any more than it does right now. Imagine how you would feel being walked out on with just a note to explain. You would come running to me, telling me what a dick Grant is. Am I right?”

  I hate it when Natalie makes sense. She knows how to handle me. When I first arrived, she had no opinion. Knowing I needed to work off some steam, she let Xavier at me and now I’m more approachable. It’s safer to tell me what she thinks. I understand what she means. It’s logical. Yes, if Grant did that to me, I would have lost my shit for sure. But I just don’t know if I am strong enough to talk to him.

  He disarms me.

  My body betrays my mind.

  My heart he already owns.

  “I panicked and ran. I didn’t know what else to do, Nat. It was an awful thing to do but how else can I get him to understand? I am so close to this dream that’s haunted me for years. You know how hard I have worked to get back to this point. Even if I believe him about supporting my dream, I can’t afford the distraction. There’s no way I will be able to concentrate fully in these last few weeks which are the most important.”

  “Bullshit! No matter what, you won’t be able to get him out of your head. Look at you. You’re a wreck after one magical night. You think your body will erase that memory so easy? You think your heart won’t be crying out for its soulmate? That man is under your skin and no matter what you do, he’s all you will be thinking about every leap, step and twirl you do. Think about this, Zara.”

  Thinking is all I have been doing since that moment Grant first touched me. It’s torture.

  “You can’t rehearse properly if he is constantly on your mind. You’re floating on the wave of emotion from love or multiple orgasms, whichever you like. Again, I think you know the answer to that, too. Grant is now going to be a distraction. Do you want him to be a good one or a bad one? Your choice, Zara, but think hard about the answer. If you push him away too hard, you may never get another chance. Is that really what you want?”

  Natalie never pulls any punches with me. She is tough and played a big part in getting me back dancing. She takes no prisoners and is tough when she needs to be. When I need it. Under the tough exterior there’s the most beautiful soul who would give up her last coffee if you needed it. It sounds little but to Natalie that would be her world.

  “Why do you have to make so much sense, Nat? You kill me. How do I go back and try to talk to him when I have just walked out on him? I just can’t do it. I can’t play with his emotions like that. It’s too cruel. Believe me, it’s better for everyone this way. By now he will be hating me so much he won’t even want to see me. He has the most beautiful caring soul hiding deep down but he also has the fire of a dominant controlling asshole. I know which Grant will be today.”

  “Well, just think about what I said. You will have to eventually face him so make sure you are ready for that when the time comes. In the meantime, what are you going to do today? You can’t hide out at the gym all day.”

  “I think I might go for a walk, clear my head and then head home to grab my things for the studio. I have plenty of administration to do. Then I can rehearse. If there is one place I know I can lose myself, it’s in my dancing. I missed rehearsing last night so I have to do double today. By the time I go to the studio Grant will have given up and I will be alone.” No matter what I do today, I know I won’t be alone in my head. Grant will be haunting me wherever I am.

  “Well, I’m working until about two o’clock, so I am free after that if you need me. If you need to talk or you need a bodyguard to keep you safe from the big pissed off man, who will be hunting you down.”

  We both burst out laughing as Nat starts imitating Grant stomping around the locker room arms up and growling like a bear. Not sure what I did to deserve Nat as a best friend. I was so blessed the day she walked into my life.

  Grabbing my gym bag, I hug her tightly and tell her how much I love and
appreciate her. Life wouldn’t be the same without her.

  My gym bag hits the floor in the back of the car with a thud, while I ease myself slowly into the drivers’ seat. My body still aches. A good long walk will do me the world of good to stretch out and take the stiffness out of my body.

  Now, to decide where to go so there’s no chance of running into Grant. That would be a disaster. The mountain trails sound great. Grant is a city boy and there’s no chance he will be out there. The peace of nature will help me clear my head. One can only hope.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Grant

  Pretty sure I will make a perfect track around the sofa in Zara’s apartment. Zach called to say there’s no sign of her at the studio, saying he’ll go back and check later. He wants to spend the morning with Emily and Thomas at the hospital and then head back over if I don’t find her. She’ll have to turn up there sooner rather than later as she’ll need to prepare for her afternoon classes. I don’t want to see her with kids there as I am not sure I’ll be able to keep my voice at a respectable level, or that the words will come out PG-rated. So, it looks like I might be here for the long haul. I need to make myself comfortable.

  I never watch much television because I don’t have time. There’s only trash on anyway, so there’s no point. Today, however, I’m locked in my own prison and need something to distract me. Flicking the remote, it confirms why I don’t watch much. In the rare times I have nothing to do, I prefer to read. Nothing is more relaxing than sitting with a scotch in my high-back leather chair, looking out at the skyline, with music playing softly in the background. It doesn’t happen too often, but I enjoy it when it does happen.

  Surely Zara has some books around I can read. It must be better than sitting here going insane. Surveying the room, I see the bottom two shelves of a cabinet full of books. I wonder to myself why they are tucked down so low. Dropping to my knees I pull them out one at a time. A smirk spreads across my face. My girl has a nice collection of dirty little books down here. I haven’t found one yet that doesn’t have a half-naked man on the front. Some have some pretty sexy women, but mostly just men. So even though she has been single for a while, these are the men who keep her company at night. I wonder if she has any little toys she takes to bed with her, too.