by Karen Deen
“Fuck,” he says as he rolls off me to the side.
Xavier!
I jump up to grab him off the ground.
“Xavier.” I’m trying to check him out as the others all rally around us.
He stops moving and looks at me in the torch light.
The relief of knowing it’s me overtakes his body as he starts to collapse.
“Ally, tell me she’s safe. I can’t lose her.”
I sink to my knees with him. “We’ve got her, buddy. She’s safe. She did good. That is one fucking tough woman.”
He is struggling now the adrenaline is wearing off. “Mine. Keep your hands off. Love her.” It’s all he can say and there isn’t a lot of energy behind it.
I need to get to that cabin. My job here isn’t finished yet.
“Let’s get you to your woman. She needs you.” He nods. He’s fading fast and we still need to get him down the mountain.
“Jordan and Zach, get Xavier back to the clearing. The rescue squad and forensics should be there by now. Don’t take any crap from them. Tell them they can argue with me later. They will have a medical officer. Then get him down the mountain. The rest of you, come with me.” I turn back to this huge tough man that is slumped in my arms. “Xav, you just need to tell me, have they got guns and where are they?”
He looks up at me looking disillusioned. “I didn’t have a choice, it was me or them,” he mumbles.
“I know buddy. Are they alive?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. I think so. Just knocked out, I think. No guns that I saw. “
“Good man. You just worry about getting to Ally now. I will take care of them. They will never hurt you again. That I can promise you with my life.” I hug him to my body as I start to pull him up, the others helping us to get him to his feet.
Xavier spots Mitch and lets out a small sob. “I let you down, I didn’t keep her safe.” The pain in his voice will stay with him for a long time.
“Son, this isn’t your fault. You are both alive. That’s all I care about. Now go to her, and for God’s sake do not tell my wife I’m playing cops and robbers on the mountain. I’ll never get sex ever again.” He pulls Xavier away from me and into his arms. Love pours from him for the newest member of his family. “One more thing,” he says. “The answer is yes. You have my permission. You marry my little princess and love her for the rest of her days. You understand me?” I’ve never seen Xavier cry before but there are tears on his cheeks.
Mitch gives him a tight hug and passes Xavier off to Jordan. “Right, now get him out of here. I’ve got two people to have some serious words to. Nobody messes with a Stevenson or a member of my family without having to answer to me,” Mitch mumbles.
I rub my head. Fuck, what have I gotten myself in for keeping him with me?
Watching Xavier and the two boys disappear back up the trail is a huge relief. Now my anger is returning. Time to go play bad cop. I can guarantee I don’t play nice when someone has been hurt.
We sneak up on the cabin that has the door still open and light streaming out from it. All is quiet as I listen for movement. My gun drawn, I make sure the boys know they are not to enter until I call clear. Not sure Mitch is listening, but I can’t be held responsible for a stubborn old man.
Stepping into the cabin, I see them slumped against each other on the bed near the wall. I slowly edge forward and check for breathing and a pulse. I’m not sure if I should feel happy they’re still alive, but it’s not my job to take away a life. No matter how much I feel like it at times in my job. Looking around, I collect the rope I need to bind their wrists and feet. Time to get them moved before they wake up. We take them out to the four-wheel buggy outside so we don’t have to carry them. No one is very careful with them as they load them in the back seat.
Unfortunately, my conscience tells me I need to get them to medical help. That’s what normal humans do. We look out for each other and help our fellow human beings, not go out of our way to hurt them. I’ve become quite cynical since becoming a police officer. I get to see the worst in people so my faith in humanity is lacking.
I can hear voices coming down the trail. Swat and FBI have arrived, and shit is about go down for me. Good, now they can clean up this mess.
Maybe it’s time to change careers.
Chapter Thirty
Alesha
Nat is curled up on the bed with me and has finally drifted off to sleep. We won’t let each other go. Our physical connection is what’s keeping us from completely breaking down. I know how I feel. My heart is in so much pain that my whole body aches. I can’t imagine how bad it is for Natalie. Xavier is her twin brother who she has loved from the moment they were conceived. She has never known life without him. With their parents out of the country on holiday she hasn’t been able to talk to them as they in the air on their way home, so she only has me. We are both clinging to every little bit of hope we can.
I have no idea what time it is. I can’t sleep. I can’t close my eyes because I just keep seeing him being hit. The light in his eyes disappearing. It plays on repeat. I just lie here waiting for any news. My hand keeps playing with my bangle. Sliding it around my wrist over and over again. It’s solid and strong like Xavier. He promised me we won’t end, so he damn well better keep that promise.
The paramedics and then the nurses in emergency all tried to take my bracelet off. I panicked and cried telling them they couldn’t touch it. It’s my connection to Xavier, and as long as I have that, I have him. Mom left me with Nat to give her some privacy. She is in the waiting room with Lilly, Zoe, Emily and the kids. Little Sophia and Samuel are asleep cuddling into their mom and Meme while Thomas snoozes in his pram. I told Emily to go home with the kids, but she refused to leave me until the boys get back with Xavier. I didn’t think at first, but now I realize all their other halves are out searching in the dark in a dangerous area, looking for two crazy people. I understand now why no one wants to leave and be on their own.
The silence in the room is deafening. I miss Xavier’s voice filling up the void. It’s never quiet with him around. And I’m not quiet when he is around, which is such a change for me. He makes me laugh and want to talk, all day and night to him. The only time he’s quiet is when he is loving me. What I wouldn’t give to be wrapped in his arms right now. Feeling that love. He calms me when I feel anxious and out of control. No time in my life have I felt more out of control than I do right now.
I keep wondering if there was anything else I could have done better.
Should I have run?
Could I have hit Dana?
What if I had screamed, would anyone have heard me?
My mind is doing what I’m good at. Overthinking things. But this time there are so many questions, and no one to answer them for me.
Xavier, I need you!
Where are you?
The doctor quietly comes into the room to check on me. She looks tired and worried. I know that is not for me. They have already told me I will be released tomorrow, providing all my vitals keep stable overnight. I have a few strips on the wound on my head, nothing serious. It bled a lot, but apparently head wounds do that. The doctor comes to the side of my bed after reviewing my chart. She is not the one that has been in all night checking on me. Maybe there has been a shift change.
Keeping her voice quiet, so as not to disturb Nat, she introduces herself.
“Hi, Alesha. I’m Doctor Trudy. You don’t know me, but I work down in emergency. I have just come on for the night shift and heard what happened to you today. Xavier and Natalie are my personal trainers. I love them both. They always fit me in at weird times that work with my shifts at the hospital. I’m so upset to hear he is still missing. Have you heard any more?” She puts her hand on my arm and rubs it gently.
“Not yet,” I whisper. I struggle to acknowledge that I still haven’t heard anything.
“He has told me about you,” I tell her. “He thinks you’re amazing, the
amount of time you give up for others. That’s why he tries to help you out. He has a lot of respect for you.”
“That is so kind of you to say that. He never shows his kindness when he’s working my ass to the bone in the gym. He’s a hard taskmaster but a great trainer. He brings out the best in me.” She smiles, trying to make me smile a little with her humour. I just don’t have it in me.
“He brings out the best in me, too. Both at the gym and in life. He is one of a kind. I just wish I knew what was going on.” I try to move slightly because Nat is lying on my arm and it’s going numb. She stirs but then grabs hold of my arm and snuggles back in beside me.
“Nat is really struggling. They gave her something to calm her a few hours ago. It’s giving her some sleep that she desperately needs.” I look down at her and see in her face that even though she is sleeping, she doesn’t look peaceful.
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep and I’ll try to see if there’s any news.”
“I can’t sleep because I can’t close my eyes. I just keep seeing him hurt.” A few tears escape down my cheek again.
“Okay, well, I will go and see what news we’ve had and maybe get you some sleeping tablets. You need your rest.”
“No tablets. I need to stay awake until they find him. Once I know he’s safe then I’ll sleep. Thank you anyway.”
Squeezing my arm, she heads out the door in search of information.
Time is irrelevant inside the four walls of this room. I don’t know how long I’ve been here, what time it is, or the last time I ate or drank anything. I don’t know how long since he touched me, the minutes since his lips were on mine, kissing me like his life depended on it. Nothing matters or make sense. It’s like I am suspended in a time warp. I don’t want to think about how long it’s been, but I also can’t move forward until he is back.
I’m stuck in this horror movie that has been paused. I’m just suspended, hanging on, trying not to fall because I know he’s not here to catch me.
Xavier
Stumbling into the clearing where I had collapsed earlier today and left Ally on her own, my stomach drops, giving me the feeling I need to throw up again. Jordan and Zach are on either side of me holding me up. I just keep seeing her face. The terror of what she was witnessing but couldn’t do anything to stop it. Not five seconds earlier, she was so happy and a vision in front of me that had all sorts of emotions running wild in my body. FBI and paramedics are rushing towards us. I don’t want them touching me, I just need to get down the mountain and get to the hospital.
I wave them away, protesting, but they are sitting me down on the ground ignoring everything I’m saying. The FBI agent relays to the paramedic poking and prodding that the helicopter ETA is four minutes away.
“Why do you need a helicopter?” I look at him, confused as to what’s going on.
“For you, man. Special ride for you.”
“No! I need to get to my Jeep. I need to get to the hospital to get to my Ally. The boys will take me.” I’m getting frustrated. I’m not going anywhere with them. No matter what they say or who they are.
“It’s okay. The helicopter is flying you to the hospital. We need to get you there as quick as possible to get some treatment on that stubborn head of yours. Plus, your body is weak and trying to get down the mountain would be tough. Just relax, we are looking after you. Now let me keep testing you and get you ready for the chopper.”
I try to calm down. My stomach is still churning, my head is thumping.
“I thought they weren’t using choppers,” Zach says to the FBI agent standing over top of me.
“That was just until we had him and the suspects. No longer need the element of surprise. Now we can bring in everything we need.” He answers in a dry tone, no emotion. “Now I need you to answer some questions while we wait.”
He keeps talking but I’m not really hearing him. My eyes are getting heavier and I want to sleep. The chopper is getting closer. His voice is getting louder, and I just lie down and close my eyes. Nothing he’s saying will keep me awake so I give in to it.
I can feel them putting me on a stretcher to load into the helicopter. The crew doctor is talking to me, but I can’t really hear what he’s saying. All I can think about is getting out of here. This place is so special to me, yet I don’t know if I will ever manage to come back here again.
They load my stretcher in for the chopper ride. At first, they go to strap me in across my chest, but I get a flashback of waking up in the cabin, restrained and seeing their faces. My body starts thrashing around and the paramedics finally relent. They don’t understand why but agree to leave that strap off. I thought the boys were coming in the chopper with me, but the door is sliding closed and it’s just me and the doctor and his crew. I’m on my own and it makes me feel nervous. I have to trust these people. They are not Dana and Edward. They don’t want to hurt me. I find myself following the same advice I give Ally. Just take some big slow breaths in and out and you will feel calmer. Well, as calm as I will be until I see her and have her in my arms. Then I’ll relax.
The noise of the rotating blades on the helicopter is loud but soothing. The doctor is just sitting watching me and trying to encourage me to stay awake. No matter how tired I am, I will fight sleep with everything I have until I have her with me.
My stomach starts to flutter as the helicopter touches down on the helipad at the hospital. For the first time in hours, I feel good. It’s a good flutter of excitement of getting closer to her. Being wheeled into emergency, I can hear all the noise and commotion that is normal in a trauma centre. A couple of nurses direct us where I am to be taken and, as they are changing me over onto the hospital bed, a warm smile comes through the curtain. Finally, someone I know and can really trust.
“Xavier. Nice of you to visit me at work. You know, you could have just asked if you wanted a hospital tour.” She walks to me with her beautiful warm smile, the same one she has even at five o’clock in the morning.
“Trudy. You sure are a sight for sore eyes.”
Leaning down, she hugs me, and I can tell she is glad to see I am reasonably okay.
“That’s not what you will think in a minute when I’m flashing lights in your eyes and being really annoying. I need to assess you and make sure your head is okay. Tell me what happened briefly so I can check you out.”
“Can it wait? I need to find Ally. I need to see her, then you can do whatever you want.”
Taking my hand, she squeezes it.
“I won’t take long, I promise. She’s upstairs and she is fine. I’ve just come back from up there talking to her. Mind you, she will be much better once she sees your ugly face. Nat is with her. They are both struggling but are leaning on each other. Let’s get started so I can get you up there. Another few minutes won’t kill you.” She laughs as she picks up her penlight and shines it in my eyes.
“That’s what you think. It’s already been too long now,” I grumble, knowing I won’t win. I know I just need to do as she asks to get out of here quicker.
After a few minutes of being assessed, poked and prodded, blood’s taken and Trudy tells me I will need a scan to check on my head, but she will let me see Ally first.
“Hate to tell you, but you had run out of time anyway. I need to get up there. Please, Trudy.” This time my voice is soft and one of longing.
“Okay, Xavier, let’s go see your girl.” Her hand is on my shoulder giving it a squeeze. “We need for you to stay with us overnight unless the scans show anything different, and then you can go home with Ally. You are fine physically, but as a friend even more so than your doctor, please speak to a counsellor after this. I can give you some names. Don’t try to be brave. Just be smart and do what you need to for this to be put behind you.” Her face is serious but full of compassion.
“Thanks. I might get the names later.” I can’t even think that far. I can’t think past getting to Ally’s room.
Being wheeled out of the elevat
or and down the corridor, my heart is racing.
“Stop, please,” I tell the hospital orderly pushing me. “I need to stand up.” I try to push myself out of the chair. No way I’m not getting up and walking in there so she can see I’m okay.
“Xavier, stop.” Trudy is in front of me with her hands on her hips.
Not a chance!
Alesha
Nat’s stirring a little next to me, her eyes fluttering like she’s almost awake. I’m glad she got some rest. It will help her to stay strong.
I can hear muffled voices outside my door. Whoever it is, their voice is getting louder as they argue about something. I can’t hear them enough to know what is being said but I can tell there is a lady and a man. It sounds like it’s getting closer. Nat opens her eyes, looking at me for anything to tell her. I just give my head a little shake and her shoulders slump again. I give her a little squeeze to remind her we need to stay strong. She is starting to sit up as my door flings open.
My heart stops and my breath rushes out of my lungs.
I feel like I’m dreaming.
Natalie screaming, “Xavier!” snaps me out of that dream to realize he is real and standing in my room. Nat is off my bed and across the room into his arms, screaming and talking non-stop. He’s not answering a word, he is just hugging her, but his eyes never leave mine. Tears are streaming down my face. I can’t stop them. Drawing back the covers, I slowly slide my legs off the bed to stand. He kisses the top of Nat’s head and whispers something to her. She pulls back from him, tears still pouring out of her, and she steps to the side with a small smile.
I can’t move my feet. It’s like I’m too afraid to because it might make him disappear. Slowly he walks to me, one foot in front of the other, until he’s so close I can smell him. He smells like home. My heart is racing, my body is on overload of emotion. Slowly, he reaches for my face, putting his hand on my cheek. He’s really here, touching me. My legs go weak and I fall into his arms.
