Necessary Sacrifices

by R. L. King

  “But he died before he got the chance.”

  Aubrey nodded.

  “All right then—if that wasn’t the truth about her, then what was?” Unable to remain still any longer, Stone got back up and began pacing once more.

  Aubrey glanced up and followed him with his gaze. “You must remember, sir—I was quite young at the time. I like to think I became more of a confidant to your father as I grew older, but at the time I had only recently followed my late father into your family’s employ.”

  “What’s that got to do with anything?” Stone demanded. He supposed it sounded callous, but he was beyond caring at this point.

  “Well—simply that my observations weren’t taken into account as they might have been later. The truth was, sir, that I thought there was something odd about your mother from the day I met her.”

  Stone stopped and turned back to face him. “And why was that?”

  “I…can’t say, precisely. Please forgive me for saying this, sir, but your father—he was a good man, and a fine employer, but he was never known for his warmth.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” Stone said dryly.

  “Yes, sir.” Aubrey looked away, as if he’d said something shameful. “He had always been content with his research and his travel…but then one day he came home and announced to me that he’d met someone—a woman named Peregrine Godfrey. He said they’d been seeing each other, and he planned to marry her.”

  “Just like that?” That hardly seemed in character with his intellectual, chilly father. In fact, aside from magic, Stone could not recall seeing his father ever exhibit anything that might be taken for passion—not for a person, an activity, a cause, or even a hobby. “You had no idea?”

  “No, sir. Naturally, he didn’t confide his plans to me. I was little more than a groundskeeper at the time.”

  “I take it you didn’t attend the wedding?” Stone had only seen a single photo of his mother, in an album his father had shown him when he was a child and then put away. He remembered her as a tall, elegant, dark-haired woman, quite beautiful but remote, like a marble statue. Even as a boy, he hadn’t thought her the type who would want to spend time on anything as domestic and chaotic as raising a child.

  “No, sir. Very few people did. It was a small affair, with only a few guests.”

  “Was she—magically talented?”

  “Yes, though from what I understand her talents were modest compared to your father’s.”

  “All right. Go on.”

  Aubrey fidgeted with his teacup. “For a while, everything was reasonably uneventful. Very little changed in your father’s life—he continued his magical research and his extensive travel, sometimes with your mother and sometimes on his own. She rarely remained at the house when he wasn’t home.”

  “Why not?”

  Aubrey shrugged. “I got the impression she didn’t care for the place, to be honest. Your father said she had a number of friends elsewhere—I believe she spent time with them since she didn’t want to be alone. I avoided her, and she wasn’t fond of me.”

  Stone leaned against the wall. “It doesn’t sound like they were in love, does it?”

  “To be honest, sir—I don’t think they were. I think it was more a marriage of convenience than anything. But of course I kept my opinion to myself, as it wasn’t welcome.” He met Stone’s gaze. “Shortly after they were married, your mother announced her pregnancy. Your father, of course, was pleased by the news.”

  “He’d finally have an heir,” Stone said, a little bitterly.

  “Well—yes. But I believe he was genuinely pleased to be having a child—especially after she told him she’d seen the doctor and found out the baby was to be a boy. Even so, he still didn’t change his habits. He made sure your mother had every material thing and comfort she needed, but didn’t give up his frequent travel and paid little attention to the day-to-day pregnancy. I had taken on more responsibility by then as your father trusted me more, so I got to see more of this on a firsthand basis. It was difficult for me to watch your parents pulling away from each other emotionally. It was during that time that your mother hired an attendant—a woman to help her with daily tasks. She joined the household, and the two of them were rarely apart. Your father didn’t object, since it meant he was even less expected to involve himself with pregnancy issues.”

  Stone pushed himself off the wall and dropped back into the chair. “That sounds like him. I can’t imagine he’d be interested in such things.” He looked up at Aubrey. “Did my mother give you any reason not to trust her, or was it just a feeling?”

  “Mostly just feelings at the time, sir. I couldn’t put my finger on anything specific. It was just that she grew ever closer with her attendant, and the two of them would often go off together. I don’t know where they went. Your mother ignored me, for the most part, but her attendant took a strong dislike to me. Your father never noticed, of course, even when he was home. They hid it well. And all that time, your mother’s pregnancy progressed.” Aubrey paused, staring down into his lap as if he didn’t want to continue the story.

  “What happened next?” Stone prompted, leaning forward.

  Aubrey swallowed. “It—it grew close to the expected delivery date. Your father was away, but assured your mother he would return in plenty of time to be present at the birth. But one day—well, I was doing some work out on the grounds. I was out rather late, and didn’t return until well after dark. As I approached the house, I saw two figures heading across the grounds in the direction of the cemetery. I thought they might be trespassers until I heard their voices. It was your mother and her attendant.”

  Stone tensed. “They were going to the cemetery?”

  “Yes, sir.” Aubrey’s voice shook. “I didn’t hear much of what they were saying, but I caught something about, ‘be sure to clear the calibration. He’ll never be able to find us—and even if he does, it will be too late.’”

  “What?” Stone demanded. “They were taking the portal?”

  “Yes, sir. I was so shocked by their words that I must have made some noise. They both stopped, and…I suppose they must have seen my aura, because they spotted me instantly. ‘Meddling again, I see,’ your mother’s attendant said. Then I saw a bright light and the next thing I knew, I awakened with a frightful headache, and the sun was coming up.”

  “Bloody hell…” Stone murmured. His heart pounded, his tension increasing until he felt as if he might break the chair’s arms with his grip. “What did you do then?”

  “I hurried back to the house as quickly as I could, and sent word to your father. He always left detailed itineraries, so he could be reached in case of emergency. Fortunately, he wasn’t far from a portal, so he was able to return quickly. He was quite shocked when he examined me—he told me the spell they had hit me with could easily have killed me.”

  Stone struggled to keep calm. “My mother and her attendant tried to kill you. The attendant was a mage as well.”

  “Yes, sir.” Aubrey looked even more uncomfortable than before. “I’m convinced of it. I was quite lucky. At any rate, I told your father what I’d heard. For the first time in a very long time, I saw him show real emotion—fear, and rage. He immediately set about trying to locate where they’d gone. Of course, they had recalibrated the portal so there was no way to track them that way, so he was forced to try other methods.”

  He picked up his teacup, swirled the remainder of his now-cold tea, and sighed. “He was like a madman, sir. He barely ate or slept, and didn’t allow himself any breaks. He spent every moment trying to locate where they’d gone—where they’d taken you. He no longer cared about what became of your mother—in fact the rage he showed toward her was truly frightening to see.” His voice trembled. “It was almost as if he had been bottling up his emotions until then, and now he finally permitted himself to unleash them.”r />
  “Over me…” Stone whispered.

  “Yes, sir. Over you.”

  “So…how did he find out where they’d gone?”

  “I don’t know, sir. He didn’t tell me that part. The only thing he said led me to believe that he’d had more success when he changed tactics, tracking you instead of her.”

  “That worked?” Stone asked, surprised.

  “Yes, sir. Finally. It took him a bit over a week, and by that point he was nearly beside himself with worry and anger. He confided in me more at that point—possibly because I was the only one around he trusted, and possibly because I’d been the one to alert him.”

  Stone shoved himself out of the chair and resumed his pacing again, pushing aside the drapes to stare out into the silent, darkened grounds below. “What did he do then?”

  “He—left, sir.”

  “Just like that?”

  “You didn’t see him. As I said, he was…frightening. Picture your father’s normal emotional control, but driven by the kind of rage you don’t often see in a sane man. I’m not entirely sure he was sane at that point.”

  “And—he didn’t tell you where he was going?”

  “No, sir. He didn’t tell me anything. As soon as he was convinced he’d found where she’d taken you, he left without another word.”

  Stone turned around to face him. “And…then—?”

  “And then…he returned. A little over a day later, through the portal. He looked terrible, as if he’d been through a war. Exhausted, bleeding, barely on his feet…but he had you with him.” Aubrey’s voice shook harder than ever, and his expression went distant, as if he were picturing the events in his mind’s eye. “You were only a few days old at that point. He gave you to me, one step ahead of collapse, and ordered me to ring a woman he knew—a mage and healer. Someone he could trust. Then he passed out.”

  Stone could do nothing but stare at Aubrey. “What happened when he awakened?”

  Aubrey rubbed his hand through his disheveled gray hair. “It was the better part of a day before he did. The woman he had me call—an older woman I’d never met—took care of both you and him. Aside from being hungry and suffering from stress, you were unharmed. She got you settled in and remained at the house for the next few days until your father could arrange for more permanent care.”

  “What about my mother? Did he tell you what happened?”

  “Only…in the vaguest of terms.” Aubrey sounded apologetic. At Stone’s sharp glare, he raised his hands. “It’s true, sir. I promise. No other magical oaths. All he told me was that your mother was—she was dead, sir, along with her attendant, and that they’d never be found. Apparently, it had been their plan all along to steal you away, though he didn’t say why. He refused to talk about it further—not to anyone. He told me to forget about it, and to focus on you. That…that was when he made me swear the magical oath. He hired a nanny to look after you, and instructed me to keep an eye on her until I was sure she could be trusted.” His gaze came up. “And…that’s the story, sir. That’s what I know.”

  Stone let his breath out slowly. He felt a bone-deep exhaustion, both physical and mental. He felt numb, as if everything Aubrey had told him had happened to someone else. The week-old baby in the story, the baby his mother and her friend had kidnapped for some secret reason—that baby couldn’t have been him. But he sensed no deception in Aubrey—in fact, despite his obvious discomfort, the old man seemed relieved to finally be able to reveal the truth.

  “Aubrey…” he murmured. He lowered his head into his hands, rubbing his face. “I—I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what to think.”

  “Oh, sir, I’m so sorry to have to add to your grief like this. I wish I could have told you sooner…”

  Stone heard his footsteps recede for a moment, and then he was back. A strong, gentle hand gripped his shoulder. When he looked up, Aubrey held out a bottle and a glass. “Perhaps this will help, a bit.”

  Stone accepted the glass gratefully and extended it so Aubrey could pour. “Thank you, Aubrey…” His voice came out barely above a whisper. He tossed the liquor back in one shot and raised his glass for a refill.

  “Sir…” Aubrey hesitated before filling the glass again, but something flitted across his expression. “There is…one other thing I feel I should tell you.”

  Oh, dear gods, more? Stone wasn’t sure he could handle any more right now—but he also couldn’t refuse to listen. “I thought you said there wasn’t anything else.”

  “Nothing…nothing covered by the magical oath, sir. This part was merely a promise I made to your father, because it would have come to no good for you to know.” He swallowed. “Perhaps it still wouldn’t…perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  Stone gripped Aubrey’s arm, his expression hardening again. “No secrets, Aubrey. Not anymore. If there’s something else, tell me.”

  Again, Aubrey swallowed hard. “Well…sir…I told you that when your father returned with you, he told me that your mother and her attendant were dead…and that no one would find them.”

  “Yes.” He met Aubrey’s gaze. “He killed them, didn’t he?” That wasn’t a surprise, and didn’t shock him, especially given the level of rage Aubrey had described.

  “I—expect so, sir.” Aubrey looked as if he’d rather be anywhere else at the moment.

  “You expect so? You don’t know for sure?”

  “No, sir. He didn’t tell me, not in so many words. But…” His breathing quickened, and his voice shook. “When he returned, he’d…he’d changed.”

  A chill ran through Stone as he remembered Desmond’s journal and his account of his father’s descent into madness. “Changed?”

  “Yes, sir. I didn’t know, of course—I had no way to know. He hid it well for quite some time. But I’d noticed that when he returned, he seemed miserable despite the fact that he’d succeeded in bringing you home. He curtailed his travel, which had been a large part of his life. I thought perhaps it was because he chose to remain home with you, but…well…” He sounded apologetic. “He didn’t really spend much time with you, to be honest, leaving your care almost completely in the hands of the nanny.”

  “What…happened, then?” Stone wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

  “I confronted him about it one night in his study, sir. I didn’t want to—I feared he might react badly, since he’d been so moody and difficult since he returned, but I felt I had to take a chance. He’d been drinking quite a lot that night, which perhaps made it easier to convince him to tell me the problem.”

  “And he did?”

  “Yes, sir. He broke down in despair, in fact. It was horrible to watch. He told me that—when he’d retrieved you—he’d been forced to employ extreme methods. He’d been so exhausted from his search that he had no other choice. And now…because of it, he could no longer practice his magic properly.”

  Stone went still, as it all fell into place. “Oh, bloody hell…He did kill them. And the reason they’d never be found was because he ashed them. He…” He trailed off, then looked up at Aubrey with haunted eyes. “He turned himself black. He couldn’t use white magic anymore.”

  Aubrey bowed his head. “I don’t know if he killed them, sir. That’s the truth. I think he probably did. But whatever he did—yes, sir. He was forced to use black magic to save you.”

  “Dear gods…” Stone’s whole body shook as the implications sank in. His father—his distant, emotionally absent, passionless father—had sacrificed his magic to save him. But that didn’t make sense—he’d seen his father do magic plenty of times when he was growing up. Powerful magic. How could he have—

  Shocked, he stared at Aubrey, who wasn’t looking at him. “But then—did he—” He could barely get the words out. “He stole power from—?”

  “No, sir.” Aubrey spoke with quiet dignity,
his voice steady. “He didn’t steal power from anyone.”

  “Then…how—”

  “I gave it to him, sir.”

  Aubrey’s words hit Stone like a wall, striking him speechless. He gaped at the old caretaker. “You—”

  “Yes, sir. He didn’t want to, of course. He resisted my offer for quite some time. But after what he did—what he sacrificed to save you…I could do no less.”

  Stone swallowed as a lump rose in his throat. “So—all those years—”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You—”

  Aubrey inclined his head. “It was my honor, sir.”

  “No…no…” Stone slumped in his chair, finally overwhelmed. His father had been a black mage? All his life? And he’d never known? “How did I miss it? How could I have missed it?”

  “Everyone missed it, sir.” Aubrey gripped his shoulder again. “He was very discreet. He told me there was no way to know—not unless anyone caught him taking power, or became suspicious at his new difficulty in doing white-magic techniques. He made me promise I’d never tell you, and he didn’t need an oath for that. I knew you’d be devastated if you found out, and I didn’t want to do that to you. He was careful never to show that he had trouble doing the kind of magic more suited to white mages. The wards on the house were perpetual, so there was no need to reinforce them. He continued his research and his travel, returning home when he needed more power. You were in school most of the time, so you never truly had the chance to see anything.”

  Stone’s shoulder shook under Aubrey’s hand. “Aubrey—I don’t—I can’t—”

  “Shh, sir,” Aubrey whispered. “I know this is quite a lot for you to take in tonight…”

  You don’t know the half of it, Stone thought bitterly, picturing the journal and key locked in his desk.

  “Do you want another drink?”

  “Just—give me the bottle,” he muttered. “And answer another question, if you can.”

  “If I can, sir.” Aubrey retrieved the bottle and set it on the table next to Stone’s chair.