Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 2

by Fujino Omori

  “I’m so jealous right now…Skills and Magic are really hard to learn, right? I don’t have Magic, either…Ah, speaking of which, do you have any magic, Lilly?”

  “…Unfortunately, Lilly doesn’t have magic, either. There are many people who never see their own magic; Lilly is probably one of them.”

  That’s right. Tens of thousands of people may gain the possibility of learning magic with their Falna, but it’s only a possibility. Many people, it seems, weren’t lucky enough to have that possibility become reality.

  As someone who pictured himself using all kinds of magic while reading about heroes of adventure over and over again since childhood, it’s a truth I don’t want to face…Lilly looks up at me, my shaking shoulders sunk on my body as my mind filled with the thought of never having magic.

  Telling the details of your status to someone outside of your Familia is a violation of manners and also prohibited—even if said someone is under contract with you.

  It’s kind of obvious if you think about it. An adventurer’s status is both private information and their lifeline.

  I feel like a jerk for bringing this up, and I regret it.

  “One other thing: Are you sure you don’t want a signing fee or an advance payment?”

  Keeping an eye on the road ahead, I ask Lilly about the details of our contract.

  Lilly said it during our sorry excuse for a signing ceremony in Babel Tower. That she only wanted a share of the income after taking our loot from the Dungeon to the Exchange.

  I’m the one hiring her. There should be more to this…

  “Yes, that’s fine. Mr. Bell isn’t working with any other party members, so there won’t be any problems figuring out who gets what at the end of the day…and then.”

  “And then?” I repeat back to her like a parrot.

  Lilly’s cheerful mood changes all of a sudden…I feel like I see a little hesitation in the eyes hidden behind her bangs.

  “…Also, this is the best arrangement for Mr. Bell, yes?”

  “Eh?”

  There’s a strange mix of sneering and self-mockery in her words.

  I’m a little flustered, hearing Lilly talk to me like that for some reason. I don’t have a clue why.

  Less than a second later, Lilly smiles her usual smile, like nothing had been said and her usual cheerful personality floods back in.

  “Alrighty, let’s go! There will be no problems as long as Mr. Bell’s hard work helps Lilly eat something good tonight!”

  “S-sure…”

  The best for me…?

  So that means, basically, I don’t have to pay her?

  Or maybe something else entirely?

  I don’t know what she’s trying to say.

  I’m not her, so I have no idea what she’s thinking or what she might be hiding.

  It’s just—

  —You’re no different from the other adventurers.

  I get the feeling that that’s what her eyes were saying to me.

  “Eina. Hey, Eina.”

  “Hm?”

  Eina was hard at work at the reception desk of Guild headquarters when one of her coworkers working at the same desk got her attention.

  She lifted an eyebrow to say, “What is it?” Her coworker mouthed, “Look at that!” while pointing across the room.

  Eina’s eyes followed the direction her coworker indicated to see a Guild employee having a heated argument with an adventurer in front of the Exchange.

  “See, it’s them again. That guy’s in Soma Familia.”

  “……”

  Eina frowned at the situation unfolding across the way.

  Their angry words reached her ears as Eina tilted her head forward to listen in.

  “A measly twelve thousand vals?! Come on! Are you blind?!”

  “You fool! How long do you think I’ve been doing this job, huh? My eyes are just fine!”

  They were arguing about the terms of an exchange, that much was certain.

  This kind of thing wasn’t all that uncommon. Adventurers bet their very lives every day prowling the Dungeon. After working all day, they came to the Exchange with hopes great or small, but many tended to get upset and raise their voices if the amount offered for their Dungeon loot wasn’t as high as they were expecting, complaining that it wasn’t commensurate with the effort.

  The Guild was used to this kind of thing, and all of the appraisers lined up close to that counter had a lot of guts. This particular appraiser was yelling just as loudly as the adventurer.

  This kind of argument was just another day at work.

  However, whenever Soma Familia’s adventurers made a scene, a normal argument tended to become anything but normal.

  There was no point in adding up all the times members of Soma Familia had criticized an appraiser’s offer. It was a daily occurrence. The Guild employees were long since fed up with this daily farce.

  All of Soma Familia’s members had the same issue with the Exchange’s terms: “Give us more money!”

  They had an obsession with money that went beyond rationality.

  Their demands for large sums of money were fierce enough to make all the bystanders’ blood run cold.

  “Ugh—just watching this makes me want to tear my eyes out! It’s sickening! Sooo glad I’m not in charge of Soma Familia!”

  “……”

  Eina scowled at her human coworker’s choice of words.

  Eina was not herself an adviser of any Soma Familia members, but due to some recent events, she couldn’t just write them off as someone else’s problem.

  “Damn it! This is all…This is all I get…?!”

  Eina massaged her temple, feeling a headache coming on as she watched the adventurer clasp both hands around his head from a distance.

  He might have been a little hasty…

  The supporter Lilly’s presence had a dramatic impact.

  First of all, since she carried the backpack, I didn’t have to take loot back to the surface to exchange it for money when my own pack got too heavy. So I stayed in the Dungeon much longer than usual.

  Every floor I passed through on my way to a deeper Dungeon level meant that the distance to the Exchange was longer (and my time in the Dungeon was shorter). So even though I was going deeper than before, I wasn’t getting more money for my efforts. There was too much lost time in transit.

  Today, all of those problems were cleanly solved.

  Thanks to Lilly, I didn’t have to equip a backpack. I felt so light and free as I slew monster after monster on the seventh level that I can’t even remember how many I took down.

  Whenever a monster appeared, I swung my knife and Lilly quickly extracted the magic stone and collected drop items.

  The result:

  The money we received from the Guild’s Exchange—

  “ “……” ”

  Lilly and I each grab the lip of the pale yellow bag, opening it together and peering inside.

  Our eyes are greeted by…moneymoneymoneymoneymoney.

  More coins of various sizes are crammed into that bag than I can count!

  So shiny!

  “Twenty-six thousand vals…”

  Our eyes meet just inches apart as we look up from the bag at the same moment.

  We take a deep breath and……

  “YYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  We jump with glee!

  “Amazing! Absolutely amazing! Lilly could count all the drop items on her fingers, but Mr. Bell passed twenty-five thousand vals all by himself!”

  “Wow, wow, WOW! This is really happening, right? I’m not dreaming?! All of this money in one day…This is all thanks to you, Lilly!”

  Hurray for supporters!

  “You shouldn’t say stupid things, Mr. Bell. It depends on the monsters, of course, but a party of five Level One adventurers usually makes twenty-five thousand vals in a day. That means that Mr. Bell did more work than all of them put together!”

  “Hey,
now. Even rabbits can climb trees if they’re flattered enough. Same thing!”

  “Lilly has no idea what Mr. Bell is saying, but for now, Lilly agrees! Mr. Bell is amazing! Let’s do even better!”

  “Lilly, that’s too much flattery…!”

  I’m way too excited about this, but I just can’t calm down.

  We’re not in a bar, but we’re making noise and really whooping it up.

  It’s late enough to be completely dark outside, so Lilly and I are about the only adventurers in Babel’s cafeteria. Everyone else has probably made their way to a bar by now.

  Our good mood rising even higher, Lilly stands up in her chair, yelling “Yayyy!” and we high-five over and over.

  “Well then, Mr. Bell, can Lilly get her share now?”

  “Yes, of course!”

  I take 13,000 vals out of the bag, set them on the table with a thunk, and slide them over to her.

  “………Huh?”

  “Ahhh, with this kind of money I can finally feed the goddess some delicious food…!”

  I can just see the look on her face when I give her food we’ve never been able to afford.

  I can actually do something to thank her!

  Lilly’s staring at me with eyes about the size of marbles, but I don’t care. I’m too wrapped up in my own fantasy.

  “M-Mr. Bell. What is this…?”

  “Your share! It’s what we agreed on! Ah, that’s right! We should celebrate! Lilly, let’s go to a bar! I know a great place!”

  Lilly’s eyes glaze over as my jubilant invitation reaches her ears.

  Oh yeah, didn’t she say she didn’t want to go to The Benevolent Mistress?

  Oh well, no matter! It’s just for today!

  “Come on, let’s go!”

  “M-Mr. Bell!”

  Lilly raises her voice as I start to quickly pack up our belongings.

  Huh? I look at the girl in confusion. Her small lips quiver as she struggles to get words out.

  “…D-doesn’t Mr. Bell…want all of the money…? …Take it all for himself?

  “Eh? Why would I?”

  I don’t understand at all. That seems really strange.

  Having her question answered with a question, Lilly looks lost for words.

  “I couldn’t have made this much money all by myself. We did this together, right, Lilly?”

  I flash a big smile before saying, “Thank you so much!”

  Even the words “I’ll be counting on you!” come out of my mouth.

  I’m so glad I met Lilly that I can’t stop smiling at her.

  “……”

  “So, Lilly, shall we go?”

  Swish. I stick out my hand in front of Lilly.

  She stares at my hand for a moment before carefully extending her own and taking it.

  “…Mr. Bell’s weird.”

  I do a fantastic job of pretending I don’t hear her last murmured words.

  [Bell Cranell]

  Familia: Hestia Familia

  Race: Human

  Job: Adventurer

  Dungeon Range: Level Seven

  Weapons: Divine Knife

  Dagger

  Income: 18,900 vals

  [Status]

  Level One

  Strength: D-591 Defense: G-233 Utility: C-607 Agility: B-702 Magic: I-0

  Magic:

  [ ]

  Skill:

  Realis Phrase

  • Rapid Growth

  • Continued Desire Results in Continued Growth

  • Stronger Desire Results in Stronger Growth

  • Equipment:

  “Pyonkina” Rabbit Armor MK-II

  • The first in an armor series by Welf Krozzo, a smith working for Hephaistos Familia.

  • Due in part to its name, the armor was put in a box on a shelf to be sold. Bell felt sorry for the way the armor was treated.

  • It was forged from the drop item “Metal Rabbit Hair.” According to Bell, it’s “extremely light.”

  • In fact, its defensive capabilities were highly rated by Hephaistos Familia.

  “Green Vambrace”

  • Value of 7,700 vals

  • A gift from Eina. Has the emerald-green color of her eyes.

  • Serves the same purpose as a shield. While not as strong as a pure shield, it’s much lighter.

  • It has a long, thin compartment that can fit small weapons including knives, daggers, and short swords.

  Interlude

  CRY OUT, GODDESS

  The sky’s hue shifted from deep red to blue-black as night fell.

  Western Orario. West Main was alive with groups of townspeople and adventurers back from the Dungeon, all letting off steam after yet another day.

  “I…I made it again…”

  Hestia stumbled along on tired feet among the crowd walking down Main Street. Babel Tower loomed behind her as she made her escape and trudged toward home on wobbly legs.

  She had completed her shift at Hephaistos Familia’s Babel Tower Branch Store and was headed for her room.

  “That Hephaistos…Can’t she cut me a little slack…?!”

  While it might have been nothing more than the repayment of a loan, this had still been the most stressful time in Hestia’s life. She was used to an almost lazy lifestyle up until now, and her current situation bordered on torture.

  Whether it was her goddess “friend” Hephaistos’s lectures or the children who worked alongside her showing no respect, she couldn’t catch a break. In fact, they seemed to go out of their way to give her extra work. It was to the point that she wanted to scream on a daily basis.

  She was getting a glimpse at just how serious Hephaistos was about fixing Hestia’s habit of relying on others.

  “Ahhhh, I wanna see Bell…!”

  Worn out from consecutive days of hard labor, thoughts of her own “child” popped into the exhausted Hestia’s mind.

  Until just a few days ago, she couldn’t wait to warmly welcome Bell back from the Dungeon every day, often leaving her part-time job early to do just that. Now their roles were reversed.

  She wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms as he walked through the front door. Knowing that wasn’t going to happen, she dragged her tired limbs toward home.

  “—Eh?”

  Hestia was brought out of her own thoughts when a flash of white hair like a rabbit caught her eye.

  She noticed a very familiar shape in the middle of all sorts of races of people crammed into the street in front of her.

  —It was Bell!

  Her round eyes lit up the second she realized it was him.

  Bell had to be on his way home from the Dungeon. He was still wearing his new armor. Since his back was to her, he must have been on his way back to the room.

  Hestia got her energy back like a fish returned to water, and was about to run to his side—and then…

  “?!”

  Thanks to the crowds, she hadn’t seen the person walking right next to him, but now whoever it was came into view.

  The person was shorter than Hestia and wore a robe that was too big with a backpack. It was impossible to tell the person’s gender or any other detail from the back, but it was a girl. Hestia knew.

  The mystery girl probably had an aura that made all men want to protect her. What’s more, she had a firm grip on a hand being held out to her.

  Hestia could see the side of Bell’s face as he looked down at the girl and she looked up at him. He was smiling happily.

  Boom! It was like a ton of bricks fell on Hestia’s head.

  She was already at her physical and mental limits, so this was the final blow. Bell, her last oasis, was holding hands and laughing with some girl who wasn’t her. The heavens had come crashing down to earth, leaving Hestia with a wound too deep to measure.

  Missing out on a chance to observe Bell with the supporter he had talked to her about, Hestia turned her back to them and took off running. This misunderstanding weighed heavily on her
heart.

  “—Listen to this, Miach! Bell, he—he cheated on me!!”

  Slam! Another empty glass hit the table as Hestia wailed tearfully.

  They were in a bar that stood a little ways off Main Street. The cramped, old wooden building was filled with mostly shabbily clad adventurers who were conversing in loud voices that weren’t very polite.

  She was drinking cheap alcohol alongside them, sitting at a table across from another god and reciting all the events that just transpired.

  “Cheating is very serious. I cannot imagine a situation where Bell would do such a thing.”

  The handsome man who spoke in a polite, calm voice was Miach. He had been listening to Hestia’s story very carefully, and interjected his opinion into the conversation. His worn-out, ash-colored robe fit in very well with the décor of the bar.

  Hestia and Miach were the lowest of the low—the poorest of all the gods living in Orario. This gave them a very strong bond. Hestia Familia was on such good terms with the potion-making Miach Familia that each of the gods knew about the other’s “children” in great detail.

  Hestia happened to run into Miach on the street and practically forced him to join her in drowning her sorrows in alcohol. Through all of this, Miach never once made an angry face as he lent the goddess his ears.

  “I saw them with my own eyes! They were holding hands, smiling, laughing! That’s proof; he’s guilty, guilty, guilty!!”

  “We don’t know Bell’s situation, so it could be something harmless. I think it’s too early to declare him ‘guilty’…And you’re not husband and wife or lovers to begin with, so going on and on about ‘cheating’ seems strange to me.”

  Hestia was too busy downing her next glass of alcohol to hear the second half of Miach’s words.

  She’s at it again today…thought Miach with a sigh, his sea-blue hair shaking with his head.

  “Damn it! Just who is that girl anyway! Bell belongs to me; he’s mine! MINE!”

  “Now, now. You may be his goddess, but those words are tyrannical. Bell is no one’s possession.”

  “You think I don’t know that? Well, I do! I just wanted to say that; I’ve always wanted to say that!”