Finding Shadows

by Lindsay Nall

  Finding Shadows

  The Dream of a Shadow

  A Silhouette novel

  By: Lindsay Nall

  Silhouette Series, Finding Shadows, The Dream of a Shadow © Copyright 2020 Lindsay Nall

  Copyright notice: All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are all products of the authors imagination and possibly an overabundance of energy drinks, and any likeness to any person living, dead, reanimated or resurrected is purely fictional. Space, time, magic and otherworldliness has all been altered to fit the authors wanton wants of existence. The thoughts and opinions stated in this work are purely the characters and do not reflect the thoughts of the author.

  One

  The dream was the same as it always was, her own private paradise as she walked down the pristine sandy beach. The moon seemed within miles of the beach full and bright in the velvety night making the sand sparkle like diamonds. The waves lapped softly at the sand their color bright as liquid sapphire, birds and insects could be heard towards the mainland where dense green shrubs and large trees huddled together in a balmy forest scented with the sweetness of night-blooming flowers. Every so often you could hear the cry of a night predator seeking its prey but she was not afraid. She had had this dream so often lately it was like home to her. It was perfect here, serene and calming but it was only half of the tiny island; up ahead, as if someone had drawn a line through the world, everything would change. The bright white sands would turn to onyx, the waters black but still calm in their approach, all noise would stop, there would be no scent of flowers, no breeze of sea air, just stillness, silence.

  She made her way down the beach slowly enjoying the serenity of it all, she still marveled at how her mind had come up with such an enchanting albeit odd place to dream about. Letting the warm night breeze caress her face one last time she stepped over into the dark sands, crossing the divider between her dream world and where she would sit until she woke.

  Ahead of her, there would be a bench, solid black wood lacquered to a high shine untouched by the salty air. A black wrought iron lamppost would stand next to it with a candlelit lantern hanging from the top of its curved hook casting a muddy yellow glow over the bench. She would sit on the bench watching the scene of this inverted beach until she woke in her bed.

  Making her way across the black sand, as always uneasy in the still silence that ruled this dark dimension she knew the bench wasn’t far and that meant waking wasn’t far either. As she drew closer she realized this dream was different than the others. Someone was already sitting on that bench, a shadowed form melding with the darkness that surrounded it, the edges of shadows combining with this figure until she couldn’t tell where the intruder started and the shadows ended.

  “It is beautiful tonight.” The voice was masculine, deep and throaty striking a note of wariness in her that she had never had in this dream world causing her to slow her approach. “Come sit with me child, watch the waters as you always do.”

  She shifted from one foot to another as she thought about his statement. He knew of her dream, that this was not the first time she had walked these sands, that she would be coming to perch on that bench to wait until morning woke her from this place.

  “You know of my dreams?” It was a stupid question and she scolded herself for it. Of course, he knew, these were her dreams! He must be a figure made up from her imagination, a companion to wait out the night until she woke. But she had never wanted company before; she had always been comfortable sitting on that bench by herself, letting her mind find peace in the dark waves. A soft chuckle reached her ears making her wonder if he knew her thoughts, knew he was just a figment of her creation.

  “That’s not the question you want to ask me.” Two steps forward and still she couldn’t make out anything of his face, only shadows. Thinking about his statement she played with multiple ideas in her head discarding them almost as fast as they occurred to her. He would know the answer to anything she asked him of a personal nature because she already knew the answers and him, being an extension of her mind, would automatically know everything about her. One question came to her mind, she played with it mentally tossing it back and forth, weighing it and wondering if she could get an answer from him.

  “Why do I keep dreaming of this place?” A soft tapping noise was his response as he patted the bench next to him beckoning her to sit. Reluctance kept her away but curiosity made her feet move forward a few steps.

  “I will not harm you.” This was her dream, nothing could hurt her in her dream. Carefully she made her way to his side perching herself on the edge of the bench her body angled towards him. It may be her dream but if something did happen she wanted to be able to spring and run as fast as possible. He was older than she thought he’d be. Though his face was shadowed in the yellow lamplight she could see details of laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. His eyes were dark, his short hair darker but he seemed relaxed watching the ebony waves roll in and out. “Do you believe in God?” The question made her eyes go wide, why would a dream man, an extension of herself, question her faith? She stared at the side of his face unsure what to answer, was she questioning her faith by making this dream man do it? Was this a dream? “Well?” His tone was impatient but his body language relaxed and open; his elbows rested on the back of the bench, his hands open, one leg crossed over the other with his ankle on his knee. She watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed heavily of the nightly air. “Do you have an answer yet child?”

  “No.”

  “No you do not have an answer or no you do not believe in God?”

  “No, I do not have an answer. There is no proof that it exists but there is also no proof that it does not. I have seen people curse the name because of their misfortune casting all blame to it but I have also seen people praise its name when good fortune falls on them.” She could never bring herself to call God he or she, how can one be sure of someone’s sex when no one has ever seen them?

  “Have you cursed or praised him?” Obviously, her dream man thought of God as a man, a typical male. She shook her head. “You do not pray child?” She shook her head again with a slow blink.

  “I see no reason to ask an unknown deity for help in my life, I can’t sit around waiting for something or someone else to change it for me.” The man’s mouth twitched at her statement as if he found humor in it but didn’t want to show it.

  “And what of the Devil? Do you believe he exists?” Again with he.

  “In everyone yes.” His eyes went a bit wide at her answer.

  “In people?”

  “Everyone has done something they are not proud of.” She shrugged and leaned back on the bench if all that was going to happen here was a theological debate she could at least be comfortable.

  “And you believe the devil made them do it?”

  She laughed. “No, I believe the devil inside them did.”

  “And what of angels?”

  “That would require believing in God to believe in his disciples.” She waved a finger at him. The man sat there in silence for a long time thinking about the woman next to him, what she must have seen to make her believe that evil existed in everyone but not good.

  “You’ve given me a lot to think about child.” He stood with a stretch and started down the blackened beach away from her and further into the shadows with his hands buried in his pockets.

  “Who are you?” She asked. If he was a figment of her imagination the least he could give her is a
name so she wouldn’t have to refer to him as ‘the dream man’ in her waking hours. He didn’t stop walking speaking his answer so softly she barely heard it.

  “I am a Shadow.”

  She woke as she always did, slowly, her mind fuzzy, unsure if she were awake or still dreaming. Sitting up with a scratch at her mussed hair and a yawn she flinched when a small bat type creature landed on her head.

  “Marclay…it’s too early, seriously.” She plucked the creature from the top of her head and set her on the bed next to her. Some days she regretted letting her uncle talk her into an AI upgrade on her Wigget, she couldn’t have just stuck with the idea of wearing her communicator as a pendant or earrings like most people. No, she decided she wanted hers fashioned as a bat just like her uncle’s. Rolling her eyes at her own questionable choices she got dressed and ran a comb through her tangled hair. At 5’10”, pale as a ghost and covered with freckles her mid-back length brown hair did nothing to make her stand out in a crowd. She was tall sure but other than that she looked so average, the only thing that might make anyone look twice was her eyes and she knew it. There were tons of other people in the world with green eyes sure, but she had never met anyone whose green eyes were so vibrantly green. With a growl and a flinch when Marclay settled herself on her head she took off out the door to her room and down the hall towards the library.

  “Mari!?” She froze in the hallway looking over her shoulder at the man running to catch up to her. The last thing she wanted to deal with right now was Jeremiah but she had acknowledged him and couldn’t pretend she hadn’t.

  “Hey, Jere, what’s up?” Jeremiah had been trying to convince her to go on a date with him for almost a year now. He was a nice guy, handsome in that boyish way that made a girl both go ‘awe he’s a big kid…’ and ‘great he’s a big kid…’. He was a few inches shorter than her with an unruly mop of black curls that hung down to the middle of his ears and the brightest hazel eyes she had ever seen. Unfortunately, he also had a temper as any girl that had given into those eyes could attest to, and she didn’t want anything to do with it. She had enough to deal with without having to walk on eggshells around someone. Turning back towards her destination he fell in step beside her quickly. “Where are you heading off to?”

  “The library, just have a few things to look up.”

  “You’re not going to look at the field archives are you?” There was an accusation in his voice that made her step falter for a second but she shook her head and continued.

  “Why in the world would I be going to look at those?” Jeremiah pulled her to a stop with his hand on her arm.

  “You have that look, the look you get when you think about him.” Him? Who him? He wouldn’t know about the dream man; the reason she was heading to the library so what was he talking about? “Don’t look at me like that you know what I’m talking about.” She shook her head. “Tadum.”

  “What on earth makes you think I’m thinking about Leaf? Let alone going to search the field archives for information on him?” She crossed her arms over her chest watching as Jeremiah ran a hand through his hair, a sure sign that he was frustrated, and paced back and forth before settling against the railing mirroring her stance.

  “You get this look when you think about him like you’re watching a movie of the past in your head. It makes it impossible for anyone to get close to you.” She didn’t know she got a look, maybe she could keep herself from getting that look. “Marisol…I’ve been trying for almost a year now to get through to you, what’s so wrong with me?”

  Well, there was the fact that she couldn’t think of him in that way, that she didn’t want any kind of relationship with anyone and most importantly he didn’t believe that Shadows existed, pepper that with his anger problems and there was a whole world of nope. “It’s not anything wrong with you it’s just…uh…Marclay, she doesn’t like you.” She felt Marclay shift from where she was perched on her head. “You know my uncle did the AI upgrade on her and if Marclay doesn’t approve then he definitely wouldn’t. I’m just protecting you, keeping you safe from my uncle’s wrath.” Jeremiah seemed to mull over what she said as Marclay dug her little nails into the top of her skull. It took all her willpower not to flinch.

  “I could take your uncle.” She balked at him. Seriously? He wanted to take on her uncle? One of the elite Shadows. He could kill this boy with a napkin but she had to admire his perseverance. “For a chance with you, I would. The next time I see him I will have a man to man with him if that’s all that is standing in our way.” Mari knew then that she had just dug herself a hole but also knew that her uncle shouldn’t be coming to the East District again unless she asked him to. Now she knew never to do that.

  “Alright well, now that that’s settled I have some research to do, later.” With a quick wave, she walked away as quickly as she could without running. Marclay dug her little claws in again to convey her disapproval over her lies. “I know it’s giving him false hope but it’s better than the alternative.” The alternative was breaking his heart; Jere was a sweet guy deep down but as much as she hated to admit it he scared her. In her mind coming up with any reason why they couldn’t date instead of outright refusing him meant his temper would stay at bay…at least until he figured out she was lying to him.

  Seventeen record books, nine logs, twelve archival papers and three glasses of orange juice later Mari growled at her stupidity of thinking there would be any useful information here. The East District was a joke, she knew that, what with keeping the truth from everyone here. Maybe a handful of people knew the truth about the Silhouette; they were the elite when it came to scientific research with several locations throughout the world, to all outsiders it was just a research lab trying to find ways to seal the tears and diminish the demon outpour into the mortal world but few knew the truth. The research sector was only part of it, a small part, infinitesimal compared to what went on in the Silhouette.

  Every one of the researchers housed in this building was oblivious to what the Silhouette was about, that the fourteen existed, that the tales of Paranus were true. The Silhouette trained the warriors of God to defend the mortal world against the outpour of demons that ravaged our world but here that was all ignored, forgotten, as the researchers hunted for ways to document the different demons, perform their experiments and find ways to patch the tears in the fabric of time to prevent other demons from entering our realm. No one wondered where the outside information came from or why half of the documents that were sent in were blacked out to protect identities and locations and those that did wonder turned a blind eye. Everyone had their assumptions about things, their beliefs about The Fourteen, the Shadows and The March but it was never talked about here. Never.

  She had voiced her questions about the secrecy revolving the East District when she was younger but was just given the runaround. Some said it was easier if the researchers here could just ignore the outer happenings in the world, some said it was to keep their focus, some said it was to keep those who worked here from wanting to transfer or travel. It was nothing but frustration to her. The steps she had to take to hide the people she knew, the things they had to lie about when they came to see her or even just stopped by to see others. Almost everyone in the building knew everything that went on outside these walls but had become so accustomed to turning a blind eye that it didn’t even phase them anymore. Then there were the younger researchers, the ones who argued that Shadows didn’t even exist all because they had never seen any proof of it.

  Throwing down another dead-end folder she twirled in her chair looking around the room at the shelves that were rarely touched scanning the labels on them. Tear documents both in and out of district, demon class a through n, remedies for demon inflicted injuries, field archives. She stopped twirling staring at the shelf of archives, Tadum’s name was somewhere in there. She hadn’t thought about him until Jeremiah had brought him up. Why did he have to do that? Now she wondered where he was, what he was doing an
d if he ever thought about her. She knew he was okay; she would be the first person to know if he wasn’t. Browsing through the files she pulled a few down but soon found it to be a waste of time, as with any other record the names of any Shadow or link to a Shadow were blacked out.

  “I quit!” Throwing the file across the room she stormed out of the library ignoring the rain of fluttering papers she had left in her wake.

  “The five say all of them are present on earth.” Bartholomew Baker, head of the Silhouette building that housed the eastern researchers, looked wide-eyed at the woman in front of him. She was dainty with bright blue eyes and long brown hair pulled back off her face in pigtails, the pin on the lapel of her uniform told anyone who saw her that she was a member of the hierarchy that ruled the Silhouette. At first glance she was nothing special, beautiful but not breathtaking; no one would give her a second look unless they could feel the power rolling off her. Muses, Bartholomew snorted in his head, always trying to lull you into a false sense of comfort. This one did it with her looks and voice, others with touch and some with their minds.

  “Then where is the last?” Bartholomew knew the others had been located but not thoroughly trained or even acquired by the Silhouette, some Shadows were harder to tame than others.

  “They believe here.” His eyebrows drew together. He was trying to protect her, hoping that the five didn’t know about her. Even if it meant the war continued on he wanted to protect her. It was stupid to think they didn’t know. The prophecy had spelled it out for them eons ago but still, he had hoped they had forgotten, hoped they hadn’t realized who she was. Hope had been all he had to keep her safe, if she hadn’t been such a big part of his life maybe he would feel differently but knowing her, loving her, had changed all of that.

  “Who?” He hoped once again that they would give him the name of someone else, someone he wasn’t close to, someone he hadn’t lied to.