Memory: Volume 2, Trials to Bear, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  “You do not desire me?” He kissed her, then traced his tongue over her lips and down her throat to her breasts, and mouthed the sensitive and responsive nipples through the fabric. His hands caressed her thighs. “You are so wet Elizabeth, you must desire me.”

  “I must?” Her voice hitched.

  “Please?”

  “Oh yes, please.” She moaned. Darcy chuckled. “I am afraid that our offspring is getting in the way of this method of loving.” He kissed her belly and ran his hands over her.

  “I need to look in your eyes.” Elizabeth touched his face and he smiled, rolling onto his back and holding up his arms for her.

  “Come, love.”

  She climbed over him and slowly lowered down to envelope his waiting length. “Oh, Will.” She moaned. “I do not know what it is but I crave you constantly.”

  “I have no objection to that, not at all.” Darcy moaned with the pleasure of her warmth. His hands travelled upwards and he removed her gown, then caressed her swelling breasts, sitting up to suckle them while she embraced his head and sighed. “Oh, my love!” Darcy pulled away with a startled look on his face. Elizabeth looked down to see him licking his lips then returning his mouth to suckle her again. “Oh Lizzy.” He sighed and she felt his tongue and jaw working, then move to encapsulate her other nipple. He beamed up at her. “You have fed me!”

  “What are you saying?” She laughed and he drew her down to suckle happily again, the rocking of their hips and the touch of his tongue quickly relieved her desire, and she slid off to settle back against his chest so he could thrust with the vigour that brought his shuddering release. They lay spooned in their embrace while both of them felt the response of their baby. “He seems to enjoy it.” Elizabeth whispered as they both stroked over her belly.

  Darcy chuckled and cuddled her closer. “So we are indulgent parents?”

  “Mmmm, you may indulge me anytime, Husband.”

  “You will tell me when you cannot bear my attentions any longer. I know that time is coming.” He said softly. “I do not wish you to feel obligated to this duty.”

  “When has it ever been a duty?” Elizabeth turned her head to see his worried eyes. “Stop.”

  “Yes, love.” He sighed and settled his face back into her hair. “Elizabeth?”

  “Hmm?” She sighed and was asleep in his arms.

  Darcy held her tightly and kissed her shoulder. “Please, please darling, do not leave me.”

  “THE DECISION IS YOURS, LAURA.” Harwick reined his mount and they stopped on top of a rise, looking out over the grounds surrounding Meadowbrook. “I am sure that you wish to see your friends and dance.”

  Laura laughed. “As sure as I am that you want to remain here?”

  “My dear, I do not expect you to spend your life solely at this estate, you are meant to be out in the world, how can I deprive society of your company?” He smiled and she laughed. “Was I convincing?”

  “Not at all. I do not wish to separate you from the girls, and going to town would surely do that.”

  “They are old enough to endure the trip, I think.” He said softly. “But I wish to make you happy.”

  She studied him and nodded. “Very well then, we will remain here, then perhaps we might visit Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy sometime this summer.” A smile spread over his face. “I see that you like the solution?”

  “Very much. Darcy’s company will be welcome and I have no doubt that he will be remaining close to home for quite some time.” He reached out to hold her hand. “Are you sure of this, dear? You are still a new bride; you would receive all of the privileges and recognition that comes with it, in fact should you not be newly presented at court as my wife?”

  “Are you trying to tell me that you want to go to town?” She asked incredulously. “Please speak your mind, sir!”

  “I … It occurs to me that perhaps it would be … pleasant to show you off a bit.” He chuckled to see her mouth drop open. “I am not without my pride, my dear. I am very pleased with my bride.”

  “I hardly know you!” She cried. “What happened to the man who wished to remain at home?”

  “I do … I just … I have reason to live as well.” He kissed her hand. “So, a month in town and then come home?”

  “We will go dancing?” Laura asked hopefully.

  “We will.” Harwick said positively. “And then we will return home and … work on other matters.”

  Laura blushed then kicking her horse, galloped away. “You will have to catch me first!”

  10 APRIL 1810

  My wife is a wonder. For weeks now she has been sleepy, moving more slowly with each passing day, unable to summon the energy for more than a kiss. She has cried enough tears to fill the lake, and exasperated me with her swings of temperament, but through it all she has made me feel her confidence and determination that all will be well. I have never laughed so much as I have with Elizabeth as she contemplates her advance into motherhood. But today, after a very welcome night of lovemaking that seemed gloriously endless in its quantity and diversity, my suddenly insatiable wife is up, running about the house with a level of energy I have not witnessed in ages. Can it be that she needed my loving to achieve this vigour? I would be dishonest if I did not admit that the thought makes me quite proud!

  It should be very soon, we think. I will forego the spring activities and leave them in Mr. Nichols’ capable hands. I wish to remain close, just in case she needs me. The monthly nurse, Mrs. Griffiths, will arrive tomorrow to complete the preparations for the birth and she will remain with Elizabeth until she is recovered. The wet nurse, Mrs. Robbins, will come to us in another week. Elizabeth is unhappy with the arrangement, but Aunt Helen has written to her steadily about this subject as have Audrey and Alicia. It is another of those differences in our backgrounds appearing again. This child shall have every advantage, I am determined in that.

  I have read and reread the letters from every father I know, giving me advice for coping with her moods and her fears, and thankfully they have all spoken of how I should manage my own. I want to be nearby when her time comes, I wish to be brave enough to stay by her side, but fear that I will fail when she cries in pain. And they all assure me that she will cry and it will be difficult to bear. Audrey and Singleton will join us in a few days. I am not terribly close to him, but Audrey can give Elizabeth the comfort that she will need. I pray again that all will be well.

  Darcy set down his pen and caressed the lover’s knot of ribbon before closing the book, then hearing a melodious voice he looked out into the hallway. There he found his bright-eyed wife, singing and merrily dusting the frames of his ancestor’s portraits. “Elizabeth.” His lips twitched. “What are you about?”

  “I am cleaning.” She gave him a look as if he was daft and continued on. When she moved to stand on a chair to reach the top of the frame he rushed forward and carefully lifted her down. “Fitzwilliam! I need to finish this!”

  “It is perfectly well, love. I saw … Mrs. Reynolds dusting there just yesterday.” He nodded and she stared him in the eye.

  “You sir, cannot tell a lie.” She said seriously.

  “Perhaps it was another day.” He countered.

  “Hmmm.” Elizabeth looked out at the bright and warm spring day. “Let us visit my tree.”

  “Lizzy.” He said softly. “It is too far to walk.”

  “I need to see my tree!” She insisted. “Please?”

  Darcy held her hands and looked down at her. “Are you sure?”

  “I have been confined to this house for too long, I just wish to feel the sun warming my face.” Tilting her head she smiled softly. “Please?”

  How am I to resist you? “On one condition.” He caressed her warm rosy cheek and kissed her. “We will drive a gig as close as possible so that you will not need to walk so far. Agreed?”

  “Yes.” Elizabeth hugged him. “Thank you for bearing my fancies, Will. I know that I am nonsensical.”

  �
�I do my best, love.” Kissing her hair he let go and went to order a gig and call for their coats. Elizabeth watched him walk away and rubbed her back, it had been aching dully since she awoke. She passed it off as the result of their lovemaking and ignored it, along with all of the other endless aches and pains she seemed to have been feeling of late. When Darcy returned he caught her stretching. “Are you well?” He asked softly, “Perhaps we should remain?”

  “No, I need to see my tree.” She insisted. “We had a busy night, that is all.”

  Nodding, he smiled and kissed her. “I am afraid that I am feeling the effects as well.”

  “I am sorry that we have not loved each other for so many weeks …”

  “Hush.” Darcy hugged her and kissed her ear as he whispered, “It made last night so special.” A maid arrived with their coats and the gig pulled up outside. Carefully, Darcy helped her up and seeing her settled with a shawl over her knees, took the reins and urged the horse on. Glancing at her he laughed to see her eyes sparkling and happy. “I am glad to see you enjoying this warm day.”

  “I am glad to see they still exist! This winter was harsh, certainly nothing that I have experienced before. I wish that we could have played more.” She looked ruefully down at their baby and spoke to her belly. “You prevented your parents from having fun!”

  “I think that we managed quite nicely.” He patted the baby. “Do not mind your mama.” Darcy moved the gig off of the drive and into the grass. The cart jostled a little and Elizabeth gasped when the movement seemed to make her back ache sharply. Darcy stopped the horse. “Dearest?”

  “I am well. I am unbalanced even when seated, it seems.” She smiled and looked ahead. “Drive on!”

  Sighing he flicked the reins and said nothing. Drive on; drive on to see a tree! You my love are driving me to drink with your whims and fancies! He shot her a glance and watched as she bit her lip with narrowed eyes. He started to open his mouth to ask again if she felt well, but decided that her humour was good, and toying with that would be a mistake. Instead he enjoyed the feel of her leaning against him and kissed her forehead. “Here we are.” Stopping the horse at the entrance to the woods he smiled at her. “Are you certain you wish to walk in? We could simply continue to drive?”

  “No, I need to be in our special place.” She sat up wiped her eyes. “I need to see this place.”

  Helplessly he wiped her cheeks against a new assault of tears. It was useless to question her, so he jumped down and holding out his arms, lifted her to the ground and slowly they began to walk down the familiar path. That she leaned heavily on him was nothing unusual, that she gripped his arm almost painfully tight was, but she gave no indication of wishing to stop. At last they reached the path to their little glade, and found their way to the sunny spot. “There it is.” Elizabeth sighed and he was pleased to see her obvious relief. “It survived the winter.” They approached and saw tiny leaves forming on the tree and the rose bush. “New life.”

  “I love the spring because of that.” Darcy whispered and she nodded. “Do you feel better now, seeing this?”

  “I needed to know that I would always be here.” Elizabeth said softly and reaching up to hold his face confessed, “I love you.”

  She said it so simply that his heart nearly stopped beating. “Elizabeth …”

  “Know that I love you, and know that I want you to always be loved.” She continued earnestly.

  “You are frightening me.” Darcy said worriedly. “Please let us return to the house, we should not have left.”

  Elizabeth nodded and gasped. “Oh!” Looking down at her boots they saw that the hem of her dress was wet. She looked back up at him then nearly doubled in pain. “OH!!”

  “Elizabeth!” Darcy cried as she sank to the ground. “What is happening? Let me take you home, here, I will carry you …”

  “No … no it, oh!!” She swallowed and tears began flowing freely. “Oh Will, I feel something … Ohhhhhhh!”

  “Lizzy?” Darcy knelt beside her and stroked back the hair from her face. “The baby is coming now?”

  “Right now, ohhhh!” She clutched his hands and screamed in agony.

  Darcy felt a rush of panic and fear flow over him, but when her terrified eyes opened and stared into his, he nodded and felt his courage rise. “We can do this, love. We can do this together.” Taking off his gloves, he tore off his coat, and laying it on the ground helped her onto it. In his mind, everything he had read, studied, heard about, went flying through. The baby is coming fast, the baby cannot be stopped. I must be strong for her.

  The air was rent with another bloodcurdling scream and her tears poured down her face. Darcy held her tightly as the pain of another merciless contraction seized her small body. When it relented, she tried to sit up a little and catch her breath. “Do you want to lie on your side? No? We need something to support your back …” Desperately he scanned the grove and spotting a massive oak, grabbed a hold of his coat and dragged her over, grasped under her arms and lifted her so she was settled against the trunk. The ancient roots surrounded her like the arms of a chair. Both of them were panting with the exertion. “Is that better?” He begged her to answer.

  Elizabeth whimpered and nodded then reached for his hand, gripping it hard and crying as the next contraction came and went. “Oh, it hurts!” She sobbed, “So much!”

  “I am so sorry, Elizabeth!” Darcy whispered as he held her shaking body.

  She gasped and her hands clutched him. “Will … I … oh I think, oh … I need to …” She looked in his anxious eyes and clamped her mouth shut.

  “Scream dearest, scream. Do not hold back!” He held her hands tight while she cried again. As she panted against his shoulder, he tried to calm and ran through the stages of birth, and knew that there would be no help forthcoming. “I am going to look and see …what is happening, Elizabeth. I will have to let go of you. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.” She gasped and he nodded. “I will try not to …”

  “You do whatever you feel is necessary.” He commanded. Then lifting her skirt up over her bent knees, he was greeted with the extraordinary sight of a baby’s curls crowning between her legs. “My Lord, Elizabeth, he is coming!” He looked up at her in amazement. “How you are not screaming constantly is a miracle!” Darcy saw the flicker of a smile appear on her face just before she cried out and pushed. Darcy’s eyes widened and instinctively, his hands reached forward as the baby’s head delivered. A sudden gush of blood and fluid followed as with two more excruciating pushes, the entire child appeared, sliding right into his hands. Darcy stared down at the unmoving blue baby while Elizabeth gasped.

  “Help him, oh help him to breathe!” She choked out.

  Turning the baby over he remembered witnessing mares licking their foals, and the books giving directions to bring the new babe to life. Vigorously he rubbed, concentrating hard on his task. He dipped his bloodied hand into his pocket to find a handkerchief, and wiped the baby’s nose and mouth, then continued the rubbing, speaking softly, encouraging that first breath and at last was rewarded with a sudden squall; and the miracle of a pink and angry infant in his hands. Darcy lifted his head to be greeted with a mirror of his face in Elizabeth. They both had tears flooding down their cheeks. “Oh Elizabeth! She is beautiful!”

  “A girl?” She laughed. “We have a little girl?”

  Darcy swallowed and kissed his baby. “We have a beautiful, beautiful girl!” The elation in his voice and joy in his smile brought more tears to her. “I love you my darling Elizabeth!”

  She began to respond then gasped, “Oh …something else is coming!”

  “There is more, yes … I must cut the baby free from you.” He looked around for a place to set her and then smiled shyly to see Elizabeth holding out her hands. “Of course, the safest place.” Carefully he rested his daughter in her mother’s hands then reached into his pocket to find a knife. Meeting Elizabeth’s eyes, he separated her from their baby, then ta
king a ribbon from her hair, tied off the stub. Within moments the rest of the delivery was completed. Darcy sat back on his heels and watched Elizabeth take the shawl that she had worn over her pelisse to swaddle their daughter and kiss her tenderly.

  Her face radiated joy. “What were you so worried about? See, we did it all on our own!”

  Darcy laughed, looking around at the evidence of the birth all over their clothes and the ground, his blood soaked coat, her crimson dress, the extraordinary smile on her face … “If we ever have another baby love, you are not going anywhere from the house from your eighth month on. My heart cannot bear this again!”

  “I will not bear another child unless you are my midwife.” She declared as the baby squirmed.

  “How do you feel, dearest?” He moved to sit beside her, and she leaned into his arms.

  They looked down at the baby and she whispered, “I ache, but I do not feel it.” Looking up to him they kissed. “Thank you.”

  “You have given me a family, Elizabeth. Thank you.” They rested their heads together and listened to their baby gurgle and then startled when suddenly she began to cry. Without thought, Elizabeth drew down the front of her gown and placed the baby at her breast. Darcy stared in wonder to see Elizabeth help her to find and latch onto the nipple.

  She looked up and beamed. “All of your practice taught me what to do, Fitzwilliam.”

  Fascinated, they watched and listened to their daughter humming as she fed, then when she fell asleep, Darcy drew Elizabeth into his arms to hold her tight and gaze at the marvel in hers. Eventually, he caressed her cheek and lifted Elizabeth’s chin to kiss her. “Are you well?” He asked her seriously. “You have to be exhausted.”

  She laughed quietly. “I am not prepared to go dancing.” He chuckled and they kissed again. “I think that I am well enough to return to the house.”

  “I think that is an excellent idea.” He moved away from the tree, and removing his topcoat, fashioned an undergarment for her from his waistcoat. Carefully lifting his family into his arms, he slowly carried them through the woods to the gig where he placed them in the seat. Darcy stood next to them and smiled at his sleeping daughter. “She looks like you.”