Memory: Volume 2, Trials to Bear, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  “You were happy with Jane.” Mrs. Bennet said.

  “I was, and I was happy with all of them.”

  “No, Mr. Bennet, you were disappointed after Mary came.” She met his eye. “I remember.”

  “Perhaps I was, but I was grateful for your health and hers, as well as Kitty and Lydia. I have never regretted my daughters’ lives, Mrs. Bennet.” He said quietly. “I am sorry if you felt that I have, and I am trying to make up for their neglected education now.”

  “I wondered if you would have been different with them if there had been a son amongst them.” She said quietly. “I hope that Mr. Darcy is a good husband to Elizabeth and her daughter.”

  “I have no doubt that Mr. Darcy will be a good husband to Elizabeth, and an excellent father to his daughter.” He stood and left the room. “It is I who seem to have failed.”

  “IT IS A COURT PRESENTATION, JANE. It is not Almack’s. You are a gentleman’s daughter; you may curtsey to the Queen.” Lady Matlock informed her. “I want you to be able to go anywhere that Mr. Bingley may wish to take you, and undoubtedly that will include St. James’.”

  “But Lizzy has not been presented yet!” Jane protested. “How can I go before her?”

  “If she was in town I would be doing the exact same thing with her. She is very happily married and a mother now. You have yet to find your husband. It is your duty to be married, and St. James’ is an excellent place to expose you to potential suitors, but particularly Mr. Bingley.” She stopped and looked to Mrs. Gardiner. “Will you try to talk some sense into the girl?”

  “She is correct, Jane. Even if Mr. Bingley is not your ultimate choice, you should not miss this opportunity to gain access to these affairs. I will never be permitted to attend, but you may. I am sure that Lizzy will be presented some other year, but undoubtedly she and Mr. Darcy do not care or they would be here now.”

  “She just had the baby three weeks ago!” Jane gasped.

  “When her recovery is complete, they will certainly travel. Alicia and Stephen are in Brighton for a nice long holiday.” Lady Matlock smiled. “Audrey and Singleton will be going to Bath before returning to London.”

  “I doubt that Lizzy and Mr. Darcy leave Pemberley for anything other than Georgiana.” Mrs. Gardiner laughed and looked over towards where she and Mary sat at the pianoforte. “They are not a couple that cares for social standing.”

  “No, but they should make an appearance when they come to collect the girls in June.” Lady Matlock sighed. “Social standing is very important, whether they like it or not. They still have Georgiana’s future to worry about and now they have a daughter. Do not allow me to begin again on the circumstances of her birth or I will be unable to address Jane’s disposition.” Her mouth set in an unhappy line.

  “Lady Matlock, I appreciate that you wish to do well by me, but I beg that you not force me to go through this exercise before my sister.” Jane said softly. “I have not earned the right to be above her in anything. She is a married woman, she has endured the pain of childbirth, and she is of the first circles. I will not usurp her position. I tried to do that once and I regret my behaviour, it has cost me more than a suitor.”

  “What do you mean, Jane?” Mrs. Gardiner asked and took her hand.

  “I fear that Elizabeth and I will never be as close as we once were. No, no. I will not risk the relationship I have with her or Mr. Darcy by doing anything that might jeopardize it.” She looked up to Lady Matlock. “If I marry a man who is able to visit court, I will gladly be presented, but only as his wife, just as Lizzy will someday do.”

  “My goodness. I realize that you feel your relationship with your sister has changed, but that was inevitable when she married Darcy and moved away. Letters are not the same as conversation, but I am certain that Elizabeth is not the least concerned about who is presented first.” Lady Matlock looked at Mrs. Gardiner and she shrugged helplessly. “Is this about Darcy? Are you concerned about his opinion? My nephew is a very kind man, and very protective. If he displays any unwelcoming behaviour …”

  “He does not; Lizzy assures me that he is very shy.” Jane sniffed. “Oh please let this be! Teach me what you will and let us go through this Season. Satisfy Lizzy’s desire that I see all that I might have and let us be done with it!”

  “I cannot begin to understand your wishes but if this is how you feel, of course we will not force you to go through this presentation.” Lady Matlock studied her and shook her head in exasperation. “You would not have attended alone in any case, you would have come with the Earl and myself, and you may still attend as our guests.” She then looked directly into Jane’s eyes. “And you will.”

  “Yes, madam.” Jane looked down at her hands.

  Evangeline had been listening quietly and finally spoke up. “My brother is very happy, Miss Bennet. I am grateful for his marriage to Laura. If you had married him, I do not believe I would see my brother feeling joy, and he deserves it. You do as well, and would not have found it with him. I believe that your loyalty to your sister is admirable, but I also believe that you are confused about which circle you wish to join, and that is what is behind your hesitation.” She looked up as Bingley entered the room in the company of Fitzwilliam, Mr. Gardiner, and Lord Matlock. “I hesitated for a long time before I found my way, and now I am grateful for my husband.”

  Fitzwilliam spotted Evangeline’s smile and walked over to the ladies. “Well, have we interrupted anything particularly interesting?”

  “Were you bored with the gentlemen’s talk, Richard? Your father was undoubtedly full of stories tonight. Likely of his granddaughters.”

  He chuckled and stood behind his wife and rubbed her shoulders. “Ah yes, bragging mightily. I think, my dear, that we will have to have a boy.”

  “Do you now?” Evangeline said softly. “And how do you propose we do that?”

  “Hmmm. I am not sure, but I am determined to best all of the men in this family.” He kissed her cheek and winked. “Show all these first sons a thing or two!”

  “And if it is a girl?” Lady Matlock smiled at her son. “What will you do, be ashamed?”

  “Of course not!” He puffed out his chest and tapped his sword, “I will be proud; and woe to the man who tries to take her away from her Papa.”

  Tugging his hand Evangeline drew him down to whisper in his ear, “One detail dear, I am not in the family way.”

  “Yet.” He kissed her cheek and grinned at the ladies then bounced away to join Bingley at the writing desk.

  “He is coming back to his old self.” Lady Matlock smiled to her daughter-in-law. “Thank you for that, dear. I look forward to seeing him with children.”

  “Yes.” Evangeline said quietly. “His enthusiasm is contagious.”

  “To all but you, it seems.” Mrs. Gardiner observed, and leaned forward. “I understand that you fear your brother’s first wife’s fate. It is something that we accept as possible when we marry.”

  “Yes, I know.” She looked down at her hands. “We also must face the loss of a child.”

  Lady Matlock’s brow creased and she moved to sit next to her. “Did you lose a child with Mr. Carter?” Evangeline nodded. “Oh my dear, I did not know.”

  “It was a boy, he was stillborn three months after Mr. Carter died, I was about six months along. Ellen helped me through it, and then she died giving birth to Ella.” She looked back up to see the women watching her and Lady Matlock took her hand. “I have not told Richard this. I do not want him to fear losing our child should one come. He is so joyful for the success of his siblings and cousin.”

  “Of course, dear. I am sure that we all understand.” Mrs. Gardiner looked around at the women and ended her gaze with Jane, whose hand was at her mouth. “I have miscarried, but was not as far along as you.”

  “Mr. Carter’s family was devastated when they learned the heir had died.”

  “Were you?” Lady Matlock asked delicately. “I imagine that you regretted the chil
d but not the tie to your husband.” Evangeline nodded and she squeezed her hand. “I understand, dear. I was impressed with you before, but now my respect for you has only grown for your willingness to take on my son as husband.”

  Richard’s happy laughter floated across the room and Evangeline lifted her head and smiled. “How could I pass up the chance to live with such a wonderful man? He makes every day a pleasure.”

  Bingley’s answering laughter made Jane look up to see him grinning at her, and without hesitation she smiled back, then looked to Evangeline. “You have given me much to consider, Mrs. Fitzwilliam.”

  Mary nudged Georgiana who was staring at the men and biting her lip. “What shall we play next?”

  “Oh.” She blushed and looked at the sheets. “I do not know, you choose.”

  “Maybe we should wait for a request.” Mary held her hand and smiled. “I have missed you over our holiday. I am glad that your aunt and uncle let you come to dinner tonight, I would have been very disappointed not to see you.”

  “I think that Elizabeth was behind that. Aunt Helen still believes that I should not eat anything except mutton and porridge until I am seventeen.” She smiled and Mary made a face.

  “Do you look forward to returning to school tomorrow?”

  “I want to go home.” Georgiana said softly and looked back over to the gentlemen.

  “Go on write it down.” Lord Matlock pointed at Bingley. “I do not want you coming back tomorrow claiming that you forgot everything.”

  “Yes sir.” Bingley sharpened a pen and set to his task. “I appreciate your assistance, Stewart was kind enough to tell me all that he remembered of Netherfield, and I wrote to Darcy asking his advice …”

  “What about Fitzwilliam?” Georgiana appeared suddenly. “Did you hear from him? What did he say? Is Elizabeth well?”

  “Nothing my dear, Bingley only wrote to him.” Lord Matlock smiled to see her disappointment. “I am sure that all remains well with your sister and niece. You will be back to school tomorrow and home before you know it.”

  “It has just been so long, and letters are not the same.” She glanced down at the page that Bingley was writing and wrinkled her brow. “Forgive me Mr. Bingley, but your handwriting is atrocious.”

  Bingley looked up in surprise while the men all joined in laughter. “It is?”

  “Surely my brother has commented on it! He never hesitated to tell me that mine was terrible and I remember the day we sat in the schoolroom when I was a little girl, and we wrote out the alphabet over and over.” She pointed at the blotches pretending to be letters. “There is no excuse for that!”

  “You are worse than my governess!” He cried. “And it occurs to me that you are still a little girl.”

  “I am fourteen!” She glared.

  “I win my argument.” Bingley returned to his work and his lips twitched as he watched her expression set. “Tell me, did Darcy give you lessons on staring at people menacingly as well?”

  “No, Elizabeth did!” She spun and walked away. Bingley grinned and caught Fitzwilliam laughing. “She is growing up. It was not so long ago that she would hide at the top of the stairs to smile at me.”

  “She has a steady diet of letters from Elizabeth, I understand. I can see why she is very anxious to return to Pemberley.” Fitzwilliam grinned. “Poor Darcy, alone in a household of women!”

  “I doubt that he minds. I was overwhelmed with his letter announcing his daughter’s birth.” Bingley saw his companions smile. “I was also warned to repair my handwriting or not speak of my forays onto Bond Street.”

  “Let me guess, Elizabeth read your letter.”

  “So it seems.” Bingley shrugged. “How was I to know?”

  “It seems that my cousin was correct, then.” He tapped the letter. “Hmm?”

  “Miss Darcy!” Bingley called and winked at Fitzwilliam. Georgiana turned from where she was talking to the rest of the ladies. “Perhaps you might give me a handwriting lesson after all?”

  “Really?” She lit up and looked to Lady Matlock. “May I?”

  “Yes.” She laughed and looked to Mary who walked over to stand nearby with her uncle. Lady Matlock watched as Georgiana sat down at the writing desk and set Bingley to work. Turning to Jane, she smiled. “He is very kind to tolerate her.” Jane watched him slowly writing out his letters, then caught him looking up to smile at her and roll his eyes. She blushed and looked down. “Perhaps he is trying to win your attention.”

  “Perhaps.” She peeked back up to see him still looking at her then laughed when Georgiana cleared her throat, and tapped the paper. He apologized and returned to his lesson. “He is very sweet.”

  “He certainly is.” Evangeline studied the student and teacher and listened to their innocent banter, then looking away, noticed Mary paying them close attention as well with a small smile on her face. She pursed her lips and nodded, realizing a secret was shared between the girls, and then looked back to Jane. “It seems that Mr. Bingley may be a neighbour of yours soon. Mr. Lucas will have some competition.” She raised her brows to see Jane’s face flush. “I see your dilemma now.”

  Mr. Gardiner came over and took a seat with the ladies and smiled over at the writing desk. “Bingley has so many things occupying his attention; he cannot keep them all straight. Once his sister is married off next week, he can at least concentrate on this estate business. He desperately needs Darcy back, definitely a man in need of direction.”

  “Is not the attention of you and Lord Matlock enough?” Mrs. Gardiner laughed. “You both seem to have taken him in hand.”

  “Ah, but we are not young.” He sat back and rested his hands over his stomach. “We forget the turbulence of youth. And Fitzwilliam cannot offer advice with the estate as Darcy can. No, he needs his friend.” He smiled and caught Jane’s eye. “He only recently celebrated his birthday.”

  “He is the age that Darcy was when his father died.” Lady Matlock observed.

  The collective group watched the laughing young man writing out his letters, and Jane’s thoughts turned to an older man who knew exactly what he wanted. She found her uncle’s eyes upon her, “They are both good men, Jane.” He smiled. “And neither is in a hurry. Take your time.”

  “I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH for this, Darcy.” Singleton smiled over to him as they rode along with Nichols and his assistants. “I have learned more during three weeks at Pemberley than I daresay my father has taught me of Ashcroft in a lifetime, and that is with you entirely distracted by your wife and baby.”

  “I am glad to help you.” Darcy’s mouth lifted in a small smile. “You are eager to learn, and I have nothing but respect for that. Surely your father sees the difference in you?”

  “I hope so. He has not had much to say to me of late, he …is difficult.” He sighed and watched the other men move ahead. “Father is a rough man to please. I think that most of my conversations with him involved time with a lash more often than instruction. Perhaps he thought that was instructive.” He caught Darcy’s furrowed brow. “Marriage to me was freedom in a way I had never experienced before. I did not dare put a toe out of line at home or school, but suddenly to have Audrey in my bed and her dowry in my pocket, I … I look at that man now and wonder what I was thinking.”

  “What were you thinking?”

  “I had no idea how to love her.” He looked up and back down. “Lord knows I wanted to. We had such great fun together, courting. But the rules are so strict then, and I am used to rules, and consequences. But then there we were, married, and our wedding night, I could not behave with her as I wanted, instead I followed the rules and disappointed her. After that I did not know how to make it better, so I took all of the passion I felt for her and gave it to courtesans, and all the anger I had for my father I gave to the taverns and gambling dens. Thank God my brothers kicked some sense into me, and thank Audrey for letting me win her back.”

  Darcy stared straight ahead and thought over what he said. “And
now you live your marriage by a different set of rules.”

  “Yes. I will follow propriety to the letter. I am afraid that if I stray, I will fall back into the abyss I occupied before, and Audrey does not deserve that, and neither do our children. The only small concession, well, not small, is that I am at last free to give her the passion she deserves.”

  “That is not small at all.” Darcy turned his head to give Singleton a genuine smile. “And I will tell you that she is very happy with you.” Singleton’s eyes widened. “She spoke to Elizabeth, and my wife is not a woman to be fooled. You have succeeded in your reformation.”

  “Thank you for sharing that.” He drew a deep breath and smiled, looking ahead at the fields where Darcy’s tenants were working.

  “Why have you shared your tale with me?”

  He tilted his head. “I am not sure; I have not ever spoken of it to anyone before. I guess … I would like to earn your good opinion, and I hope, one day, your friendship.”

  Darcy laughed. “You have kept me sane during these first terrifying days of fatherhood, if I did not count you as a friend after this then I would be a mean man indeed.” Holding out his hand, the men shook. “I respect the changes you have made to your life and marriage, and I respect the choices you follow to keep yourself on the right path. As long as my cousin is happy with you, I will be as well.”

  “Was that a threat hidden amongst the compliments?” Singleton laughed to see Darcy’s brow rise. “Ah another formidable family member to watch over me, so be it. I thank you.” He bowed his head and his eyes twinkled. “So, I suppose that you are looking forward to the churching ceremony?” Darcy glared at him and Singleton backed off. “I will not mention the marriage bed again, Darcy. But by the way you are gripping your reins; I would say I have my answer.”

  “OH I CANNOT WAIT to leave these walls!” Elizabeth groaned while she watched Darcy and Singleton ride towards the stables. “I need to walk and feel the sun again. Why must my first outing be to church? Can it not be in the garden? This is Mrs. Griffiths’ doing. She did not have her way with any other part of my confinement, but she must have said something to Fitzwilliam and he has steadfastly supported her.”