Memory: Volume 2, Trials to Bear, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  “I … I do not know what to say, sir.” Jane twisted her hands. “Are you telling me that I should wait for you?”

  “No. I am telling you that if when I return we both are unattached, then perhaps I will be at last ready to be a good husband, but that if during my absence you find someone who makes you happy, do not hesitate to take that opportunity.”

  “You do not love me.”

  “No more than you love me, I suspect.” Bingley said kindly. Jane looked back to him and nodded. “Well then, this is the proper move. I do not wish for a marriage of convenience, although that was what I was raised to expect. I want love. I dare not hope for the example of the Darcys, but I do hope for more than my sisters’ unions. I fear that we have both felt pressured by others to make something out of nothing.”

  “I felt we had at least a good friendship, sir.”

  “I agree wholeheartedly with that, and I do hope that it continues. Perhaps in the future …”

  “No, sir.” Jane looked up. “As you say, if I find love, in whatever form I can, I will claim it.”

  “Very well.” He smiled and reached out to squeeze her hand. “Are you well?”

  She smiled. “Yes. I feel as if an enormous weight of expectation has been lifted from me. I do not want the life you do. I do not want the whirl of society or the spectacular residence. I simply want a home, a husband who cares for me, and children to love. That is all.”

  “I hope that is what I will give my wife someday.” Bingley laughed with obvious relief. “With a bit of dancing to boot.”

  Jane laughed. “And an estate.”

  “Yes.” He sighed. “It is my lot in life to be as grand as my father’s dreams allow.”

  “I wish you joy in your future, Mr. Bingley.” Jane stood and he rose with her.

  “And I wish you happiness in yours, wherever it leads you.” Bingley kissed her hand and bowed. “Goodbye.” He walked from the room, stopping to say goodbye to the confused Mrs. Gardiner, and taking his hat from the maid by the door, stepped out of the home. He stood out on the step for several moments, looking down the street towards the park where he had walked with Jane so many times. Snippets of conversations played in his head, and he slowly descended to the street. Turning, he looked back up at the house. This had been the most difficult conversation he had ever had. He did not like it at all, but somehow, having performed it, he felt good about himself. “I needed to do this alone.” He climbed into his carriage and settled back into the seat. “Thank you, Darcy, for making me come alone.”

  Jane watched the fine carriage pull away and turned from the window. “Jane?” Mrs. Gardiner came in the room. “Are you well? What happened?”

  “He was not here to propose, Aunt.” Jane smiled and then wiped her eyes. “He …came to release me.”

  “Release you? But you were not engaged, were you?”

  “No.” She sank down onto a chair. “No, nobody wishes to be engaged to me, it seems.” She wiped her eyes. “I do not know why I am crying. He was correct, I do not love him.”

  “Did he love you?” Mrs. Gardiner asked softly and held her hand.

  “No.” Jane smiled and looked up. “We were just friends, and I have known that for some time. I kept thinking about Alicia telling me that she was not in love with her husband when she wed, but that now she loves him deeply. I thought that I should probably be the same as she, that my care would grow with time.”

  “He did not share that sentiment.”

  “No, he outright said that he wants to love his wife from the beginning.” Jane laughed. “I suspect that Lizzy and Mr. Darcy have had an effect on everyone who they know.”

  “So you are telling me that if your sister was not so clearly in love with Mr. Darcy, you would never have hoped for that yourself? Your mother’s desire that you marry any man to save the family was yours as well?” Jane looked up as Mrs. Gardiner continued. “Would not marriage to Mr. Bingley have been a marriage of convenience, an undoubtedly very pleasant one, but convenience nonetheless?”

  “Have I made a terrible mistake? Should I have pretended more? I know that Lady Matlock will be very disappointed in me. Are you? Did you want me to marry him?”

  “I want you to be happy, dear. This is your life and your decision, only your feelings matter. Stop trying to please others.” She smiled. “Now, what is this about nobody wanting to be engaged to you? Is there not a young man in Hertfordshire who would undoubtedly be overjoyed with the conversation you just had, and the decision you made?” A smile appeared on Jane’s lips and her eyes took on a lustre of happiness as she imagined Lucas’s face. “Is not that young man the reason you answered as you did?”

  “Yes.” She whispered. “But does he still want me? I have been gone so long, and I do not know when I will see him again.”

  Mrs. Gardiner handed her a handkerchief. “Well, I suppose that you will find out soon enough. Now wipe your eyes. It is time that we leave for Darcy House.”

  DOROTHY YOUNGE heard a quiet knock on the door to her rooms in the small boarding house adjacent to the girls’ school. Wiping her hands onto her apron, she walked forward and opened it, then gasped. “George!”

  She threw her arms around him and he kissed her hard. “Hello, Dotty!” He growled and with a backwards kick, pushed the door shut. He pulled back and looked her over. “You look so good.”

  “You look terrible.” She held his gaunt face in her hands. “Did you ever eat?”

  “Not often.” He sank down onto a chair and looked at his beaten hands. “It was hell in there. Not fit for the vermin we caught and roasted for dinner.”

  “What happened?” She brought him bread and cheese, and poured out some ale. She sat beside him and looked over the bruises. “Did you have to fight with the guards? How were you able to slip away? Did anyone give you trouble?”

  “No, not too much.” He continued to stare at his hands.

  “I am sorry that I could not come to see you. Darcy …”

  “Yes, I know you were being watched. I got your notes; I paid the ransom for them.” He laughed hollowly. “I might have been able to bribe my way out months ago, but for that. Instead I was sent to that floating dungeon.” He looked up at her. “You had to watch yourself around the girls, I gather.”

  “If I put a toe out of line that Mary Bennet would have had me dismissed in a heartbeat. She is quiet, but she watched me. No, I needed the job, it is a good one.” She stood to get him some meat and he grabbed her hand.

  “Do you have the money for the ship?”

  “Yes, I stole what I could from the little heiresses; they had so much that they never noticed it disappearing. It was risky, but I was alert. I even got some from Miss Darcy; she was careless with her purse.” She saw him smile at that. “Darcy contributed to your comfort.”

  “Well, how gentlemanly of him.” He sneered. “I want to be on the way to Portsmouth within the week, before anyone gets the bright idea that I am not dead.”

  She stopped her movement and turned to him. “Dead? Do they think that you drowned? I thought that you were going to exchange clothes with some beggar, and let the guards follow after him while you disappeared. Are you afraid that he will say something when they speak to him?”

  “No, he’ll keep quiet, I’m sure. Don’t mind me, Dotty; it is just the relief of being out of that hellhole making me wary.” Picking up a knife, he sliced off a piece of cheese. “I am anxious to be well away from here. I just need to settle a score before we go.” Taking a bite, he closed his eyes. “And start over.”

  “MISS LUCAS, tell me about growing up with Elizabeth.” Georgiana looked at her sister and back to Charlotte. “I want to know if she ever misbehaved.”

  “Georgiana, what are you about?” Elizabeth asked with narrowed eyes.

  “I am just curious.” She said innocently.

  “You are trying to see a way around the rules that your brother and I have made, and are trying to use my childhood against me. Well,
I was not a perfect angel, but without delving into specifics, I believe that I was justified in whatever indiscretions I did manage to commit.”

  “Oh Eliza, I can only agree with that.” Charlotte laughed then looked to Georgiana. “I am six years older than Eliza, so you could hardly call me a contemporary playmate of hers, but I certainly knew her from being neighbours and of course from her regular walks from Longbourn to Lucas Lodge. I always thought of her then as a very curious and pleasant girl. I suppose that we became friends when she was fifteen and Mrs. Bennet put her out. That was when we were frequently in company, and were able to commiserate with each other about the desires of our mothers to see us married off.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Oh, and we did that often. How many assemblies did we spend sitting without partners and watching Jane smiling and dancing the evening away?”

  “Well, I would say at least ten, and then there were all the evenings we spent partnering each other until your Mr. Darcy took you away permanently.” Charlotte smiled when Elizabeth squeezed her hand. “Your father is not the only one who misses his most sensible daughters.”

  “Maria will be out this year.”

  “Yes, she will keep me company at the assemblies now.”

  Georgiana looked from one woman to the other. “I suppose that not every girl is asked to dance all of the time.”

  Elizabeth turned back to her and shook her head sadly. “No. At least not in a place where all of her is known, and if that information is not encouraging. Besides, there were a great many ladies and not so many men to go around.”

  “But you said that Jane always danced.” Georgiana pointed out. “Were you not equal?”

  “She is beautiful.” Charlotte said softly. “Beauty wins dances when circumstances deny marriages.”

  “Oh.” She bit her lip and looked at Elizabeth. “So … Forgive me, you were considered …”

  “Good fun but not handsome enough to tempt any man who knew of my family to marry me, at least, no gentleman, until your brother spied me.”

  “But you are lovely.” Georgiana argued.

  “Thank you, but I am older now.” She smiled.

  “And I am just old.” Charlotte sighed and laughed. “Poor Robert, he may be stuck with me forever.”

  “Pardon me, Mrs. Darcy. Captain de Bourgh and Reverend de Bourgh are here?” Mr. Foster announced.

  “Please show them up and tell Mr. Darcy.” She looked at Charlotte and bit her lip to hold back her grin. “Now what was the advice that you always gave us about securing a husband?”

  “Hush Eliza!” Charlotte said in a low voice. Georgiana’s brow creased and they rose to their feet as the men were shown into the room.

  “Good afternoon, ladies!” Peter grinned and bowed. “You are lovely to behold, do you not agree, Michael?”

  “Of course.” He bowed. “Good afternoon.” He turned to smile at Charlotte, then addressed Elizabeth. “I hope that you are all quite well?”

  “Quite.” Elizabeth laughed when she saw Charlotte blush. “My husband and Mr. Lucas will be upstairs soon, I am sure.”

  “Excellent!” Peter took a chair near Elizabeth and looked pointedly at his brother then to Charlotte. When Michael said nothing, he sighed and caught the sparkle in Elizabeth’s eye. “Well, Miss Lucas, are you enjoying your visit with the Darcys?”

  “Oh yes, I love seeing them. It has become a rarity, I am afraid.” The ladies squeezed hands and she looked up to him. “I suppose it is just as rare for you to see them?”

  “For me? Yes, because not only do they rarely come to London, but they also choose to live so far away in Derbyshire. Tell me Mrs. Darcy, how did your parents feel about your removal to such a distant estate upon marriage?”

  She tilted her head and regarded him with a smile. “It is my opinion, sir, that sometimes a letter does just as well as a visit when certain relatives are involved.”

  Peter laughed. “Ah, I seem to recall some discussion of family relations at your wedding.”

  Gently clearing her throat, she ignored the smile that played on his lips. “And how goes your family? Your sisters are engaged?” Elizabeth noted how his gaze softened. “That is joyous news.”

  “Yes, I am very happy for them, although they are a little young, perhaps, I could not deny the men who love them. There will be a double wedding at Rosings. Michael will have the pleasure of performing the ceremony.” He looked to Charlotte. “He will have the living at Hunsford Parish.”

  “How ironic that the former candidate is now the curate in Meryton.” Charlotte at last smiled at him. “He is certainly attempting to ingratiate himself with every family. Some more than others.” She exchanged a glance with Elizabeth.

  “Yes, my future congregation has expressed relief that he has moved on.” Michael smiled when Charlotte’s eyes widened. “I have heard enough that I cannot blame them, though I am afraid that the garden has suffered for his absence. It seems that Reverend Mousely frequently sent him outside to work. For his health, of course.”

  “What a brilliant idea.” Charlotte laughed softly. “I wonder if I could have conceived such a thought.”

  “If pressed to relieve stress, Miss Lucas, I am sure that you would.” Michael laughed and relaxed a little, and the two tilted their heads and studied each other. “How long will you remain in town, Miss Lucas?”

  “Oh. Well my brother has business to accomplish, so when he is through we …”

  Peter interrupted, and turned to Elizabeth. “Speaking of which, perhaps I might go and join your husband?”

  “Certainly, let me show you the way.” Elizabeth started to rise, but Georgiana was first.

  “Oh, I will do that, Elizabeth.” She smiled warmly at the handsome man and stood posing prettily by the door. “Follow me please, sir.”

  Peter saw Elizabeth’s frown and caught her eye. Facing Georgiana he bowed formerly. “Thank you, Miss Darcy. When you are a woman, you will certainly be a wonderful hostess.” Noting Elizabeth’s approving nod, he flashed her a smile and turned to Georgiana who was looking at her slippers. “Shall we?” He waved his hand at the door.

  Georgiana curtseyed and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  13 JUNE 1810

  I cannot believe my eyes. I am at the writing desk in the yellow sitting room, and not ten feet away are Reverend de Bourgh and Charlotte Lucas, sitting side by side and having an animated conversation about the proper role of a pastor in the life of his parishioners. The arguments they are putting forth are eminently sensible, and they are in agreement of nearly every subject. The most amazing aspect to me is that neither one of them is attempting to hide their opinions, there is no show being put on here. All of Charlotte’s pronouncements that a woman must secure the man first and find out about his personality after marriage are clearly being ignored when it comes to her personal interests! I have to refrain from laughing, they seem to be so deeply involved in their conversation, I swear they are married years rather than acquaintances of not even two hours! Oh dear, if Charlotte has her way, she will have Reverend de Bourgh proposing by dinner time! This is a woman on a mission, and her quarry does not seem to mind!

  Elizabeth heard a chuckle and looking up to the doorway, received a wink from Peter de Bourgh. Standing behind him were Darcy and Lucas, who were equally amused. Darcy walked in and bent to kiss her cheek, then casually read her entry. He bit his lip to stop the laugh that was threatening to spill out, and instead whispered to her. “I have never seen the like.”

  “It makes me wonder why she never caught anyone at home.” Elizabeth whispered in awe.

  “Perhaps at home there was nobody suitable?” He asked with his brows raised. They watched as Lucas joined the conversation, giving Michael a stern stare before assuming his place as guardian to his elder sister. “Too late, old man.” Darcy whispered. “Just let nature take its course.”

  “Fitzwilliam! He is a man of God!”

  “His children will be conceived the same way that our da
ughter was, love.” Darcy’s eyes twinkled at her. “He is a good man, his brother assured Lucas of that.” They saw Peter take a chair with the group. “Well, perhaps we see a new family being formed.” Taking the pen from her fingers and placing the ribbon back in the cover, he closed the book. “Shall we join them?”

  “Where is Georgiana?” Elizabeth asked as she stood.

  “I passed her out in the hallway, she is watching for Mary.” He smiled and kissed her hand. “She misses her sister.”

  “She wants someone to complain to about our rules.” Elizabeth laughed. “We need to watch her; she was trying to flirt with Captain de Bourgh.”

  “She was?” Darcy looked back out at the landing. “Even after your warning?”

  “I am afraid so. She is discovering men. The pull of a handsome face is difficult to ignore.”

  “I do not like this at all.” He said worriedly. “What should we do?”

  “I will speak to my aunt while she is here. Perhaps a companion should be hired? I cannot be with her all of the time.”

  “If we do that we may as well keep her from school. That is where she got all of these ideas.” He huffed. “You were not this way at that age.”

  “How do you know?” Elizabeth smiled at him.

  “I … I just do.” Darcy said positively. “You never desired any man before me.” His grasp tightened on her hand. “Of that I am certain.” Looking down at her sparkling eyes he furrowed his brow. “Lizzy?”

  “Mrs. Darcy, the Gardiners have arrived.” A footman announced.

  “Oh, we should go meet them.” She started to walk away but found her progress was stopped when Darcy remained stationary.