The Broken

by A. L. Frances

  Matthew’s expression becomes numb and almost trance-like as tears begin to fall rapidly down his face. His expression motionless, he continues, “The immediate blow threw Lauren so high into the air my heart broke instantly. I knew she wasn’t going to be alive after her body hit the road. All I could focus on, all I could really see, was the look of despair in her eyes as she collided with the ground. Her face and her clothes were covered in dirt and stained with blood.

  “That night, I heard a noise, a noise I wouldn’t wish anyone to hear, knowing it came from their loved one. It was the loudest bone-crushing crack. And I saw a mist of red surrounding Lauren’s head as she landed in her final resting place on the road. She had landed head first and her skull bounced off the ground. The red mist was her blood as it left her body.”

  Matthew sheds tears. The lump in his throat is so big he can barely swallow. Jess holds him tight and says nothing. She pulls back, then lets him go and disappears into the kitchen for a moment, returning with a handful of gold napkins. She puts them on the edge of the table next to Matthew, who remains still and utterly broken, his head in his hands. He hasn’t flinched since she left the room. She sits down next to him again.

  “Do you want know something? Eve has never forgiven herself, and she’s felt for years that it’s all her fault. I know this is the reason why she gets angry: the poor child carries nothing but guilt. She’s had counselling and I know she doesn’t want to live. For years I haven’t wanted to live either. I would’ve ended it all, but I know Eve would do the same, and then what? Lauren sacrificed her life so that our daughter could continue to have one – what sort of respect for her ultimate sacrifice is that? I live for Lauren’s bravery, I live for Eve, because I know that’s what Lauren would want.”

  There is a brief silence. Matthew’s eyes are now red raw and almost closed from crying so many tears. His head is throbbing after revisiting the pained memories and reliving this emotionally traumatic part of his life. Matthew decides to break the silence. “I didn’t want to live for a long time – it should have been me throwing myself into the road for our daughter. I had to watch the only woman I’ve ever loved thrown into the sky like a toy – and come back down looking full of fear.

  “It didn’t end there: Eve and I saw Lauren lie completely motionless in the road. Her eyes were wide open, but I could tell that Lauren’s soul was no longer present – her skull was caved in on one side. She was lying in a puddle of her own blood. Not only was the ground coated – Lauren’s clothes were also dripping with the blood that just wouldn’t stop gushing from her head. The horrific image of blood surrounding her body is the image that stays with me day and night. That image has embedded itself deep in my memory. It lives at the forefront of my mind, appearing whenever it desires. As an adult, seeing such a horrific scene has impacted me massively, and has unlocked dark sections in my brain that I never knew existed. I can’t help but wonder what impact it had on my daughter.

  “Eve’s such a vulnerable young lady and at that time she was practically a child. When she was little she would always stroke her mum’s face. While Lauren lay there on the ground, Eve ran to her mum. Distraught, she cradled her and stroked her face. This image kills me. It hurts my heart to see my baby girl covered in her mum’s blood, just holding her and screaming out, suffering. My poor Eve is forced to live the rest of her life motherless at the start of her innocent journey and yet it is fate that has dealt her this hand. Why? Her poor mind, without any warning, was left wide open to this horrific event, and now my once innocent, life-loving, adrenaline junkie, smiling Evelyn Jade is riddled with aggression and bitterness. I can’t blame her for this; I was the same for a long time. The only reason I didn’t continue on that path is because of my daughter. I want Eve to rebuild and gain strength from me. I live in hope that one day she will become strong again.”

  “Matthew, I’m speechless. How horrific for you both. As a fellow believer in fate, I’m sure life has its reasons for you both and, well, I’m here now, you are not completely alone just yet.”

  With these words, Jess’s eyes suddenly spark and take on an overcast shadow of grey. Grabbing Matthew by the chin, she locks eyes with him and says four simple words: “I will empower her.”

  Embracing Jess’s words, Matthew is ready to get off the subject.

  “Thank you. I understand everything happens for a reason – this soul-crushing tragedy has been aligned for a purpose, yet I feel we are still waiting to discover what the true intention of it is. The worst thing is we have so many unanswered questions. Questions we will never receive closure on. I mean – why did we have to witness and go through the hardest thing anyone with a conscious mind could possibly experience, why us?” Pausing for a moment, as though he’s waiting for someone to shout the answer, Matthew looks to Jess. “Fortunately, Eve and I managed to regain some form of normality. But do you want to know what the worst part of this disturbing process is?”

  “Only if you want to tell me.”

  “What happened to Lauren was not an accident! I don’t care what the police say, I believe it was done with intent, and one day, I will prove it. Neither Eve nor I have ever received closure for what happened to Lauren. It was a hit and run – the cruel coward behind the wheel didn’t bother to stop. This devastating experience has never been closed. We have never received justice – and still, to this day, we have no idea who killed our beloved Lauren.” Suddenly the front door bangs.

  Chapter Six

  Ring a’ Ring o’ Roses

  Matthew jumps. “Eve…”

  He grabs a napkin from the pile next to him and quickly wipes his eyes. He gets up and as he makes his way towards the front door he’s relieved to see his daughter. She’s crouched down and taking off her shoes, looking deflated, fatigued and full of sadness.

  Without hesitation, he heads towards Eve, and as she stands, he begins hugging her tighter than ever. They both embrace the moment. Matthew places her head on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her, holding Eve in a desperate attempt to make her feel safe. Holding back his tears and struggling to remain resilient to the emotions, he gently kisses her on the head and quietly says, “I love you, Evelyn Jade Honey.”

  Breaking down, Eve begins uncontrollably crying. “I love you more, Dad – I’m so sorry.”

  Matthew releases Eve’s head from his arms and places both his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay? Kidda, where on earth have you been? Look at you, you’re shivering cold. Oh, Evelyn Jade Honey.”

  As Matthew says these words, tears form in his eyes. Making eye contact with Eve, he sees the truth: there’s no getting away from the reality that stands before him. His daughter, his Evelyn Jade, this precious girl his wife gave her life to save, is standing right before him with a true expression of lifelessness. Her eyes radiate sorrow, discomfort and hurt; Matthew is devastated. What would Lauren say, looking down at her daughter in this state? Immediately he feels an immense sense of guilt. He has caused this. He has caused his daughter to endure a traumatic event by inviting a woman back to the house, when she clearly wasn’t ready. Matthew hangs his head in shame. He’s emotionally deflated as tears gently fall down his face. Looking at her dad with her swollen eyes, Eve places her forehead on to his. As she too looks down, she quietly responds, “I’m home now – you don’t need to worry.”

  Hearing her voice, Matthew is filled with relief. Yes, she is home, yes, she is safe and yes, he never wants to let her go again. Matthew looks deeply at his daughter again and as he holds her tight once more, he says, “Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thanks, I just wanna go to bed – my head hurts, I’m tired and cold,” she replies.

  Grabbing her backpack from off the floor, she makes her way up the stairs without acknowledging Jess, who is still standing in the dining room doorway. Matthew watches as his beautiful daughter makes her way up the stairs. As she goes out of sight, Matthew ha
ngs his head and releases a deep sigh of relief. He feels a presence at the side of him; he was unaware that Jess was observing. He didn’t know she was standing in the doorway the whole time. Looking flirtatious and playing with the locket around her neck, Jess seems unfazed by the height of the intense emotions within the room. Suffering with exhaustion, Matthew makes his way over to Jess.

  “I’m sorry – maybe it’s too soon…”

  Before Matthew can say another word, Jess stops him in his tracks. She grabs his chin and kisses him, running her fingers through his hair. Almost instantly, his body surrenders to her. Guiding his hands slowly, she moves them around her waist and then up to her face. She places her forehead on to his and whispers directly into his ear, “I will relieve you both.”

  With his eyes shut, Matthew is breathing heavily. What is happening to his mind, his heartrate, his emotions? He’s not in control of any of them. “Jess – please, will you stay the night?” he says in an almost robotic tone.

  Matthew opens his eyes and looks at Jess. She says nothing and slowly guides him up the spiral black metal staircase. Without breaking eye contact, Jess stops midway. In her red dress, with her empowering energy, she looks proud, confident and in control on the higher step. She resembles a strong ruler. Her eyes remain overcast, a dark grey mist circulating inside them. On the step below, Matthew gazes up at her. He looks withdrawn and lost, like a beggar. Leaning down ever so slightly, she holds his chin in her hands. As she breathes him in her eyes take on a deceitful look and the grey mist becomes the deepest thick shade of black. The colour is so deep, her eyes almost form a mirror, and Matthew’s innocent facial expression is reflected back.

  With every second that passes, as this powerful unbreakable connection remains, Matthew is surrendering a molecule of his soul to her. Jess places her soft lips onto his. She kisses him gently – and any tiny seed of doubt that Matthew may have had earlier regarding this woman has now vanished.

  Jess continues using the power she has. She leans to his ear once more and says, “Take me to your room.”

  Her breath is ice-cold, sending shivers along the nerves in his eardrum. Matthew is completely powerless and trapped in the moment. Without questioning her command he begins to guide her up the staircase. They enter his bedroom. Ordinarily filled with light and life, this now large space seems controlled by an evil unwanted entity. The four-poster bed looks sinister, and there is a dark vibration present so strong that it could make a soul abandon its physical form. Seeming satisfied, Jess shuts the huge mahogany door behind her. Placing her head on the varnish stained doorframe, she stays in this position for a second or two. With a sudden sharp twitch, Jess turns her head and faces Matthew, who is standing in his room looking lost and unsure of what to do next, his expression blank and almost angelic. This is the innocent look that a child gives his parent when he’s been told off and will do anything for their forgiveness.

  “Shut the curtains!” she commands.

  Her eyes are now blacker than the midnight sky outside. Matthew, without any fight or query, makes his way round the four-poster bed. He approaches the window and reaches for the expensive, thick, floor-length golden curtains. The room is silent. He pulls the curtains together and his head drops as he sheds a tear, lonesome, long and lost.

  “Jess…” He gets no response. Continuing, he says, “Jess – this isn’t funny!”

  “Do you like games, Matthew?”

  “No.”

  Continuing her teasing ways regardless, Jess says, “That’s a shame… I love playing games.”

  Appearing behind him, she begins to whisper directly in his ear, “Come on, Mr Honey, play with me.”

  He shudders.

  “Do you know why I am in your life, Matthew, do you know your fate?”

  Very blankly he replies, “No…”

  With nothing but darkness present, Jess peers over his shoulder. She then leans into his ear and licks it. Matthew’s face remains blank. A conceited grin begins to spread across her expression, as she teasingly says, “Good.”

  Quickly turning Matthew to face her, she makes eye contact with him and firmly feeds Matthew instructions. “Sit on the bed. We’re going to play a little game, you and I…”

  Unable to break eye contact or question this order, Matthew walks backwards. As he reaches the bed he’s totally unable to bend his knees or control his movements. The calves on his legs hit the solid wood of the bedframe. His features stay motionless. He holds no expression on his face; his heart begins beating faster with every second that passes. His eyes fill with water. He can’t blink, and so the tears fall unhindered and sink into the slight stubble on his face. The black netted curtains that hang from the dark wooden frame of the four-poster bed begin to close one by one, without assistance. The dark mysterious-looking curtains surround Matthew and Jess. Suddenly, an unwelcome force guides him back and with one final powerful gust of energy he’s pushed and lies back on the bed.

  Eve is fast asleep in her bed, wearing one of her mum’s old nighties. She’s resting peacefully, blissfully unaware of the events which are taking place in the room down the hall. Her bedroom, which is normally bright, airy and full of life, suddenly becomes the complete opposite. A dark, stagnant and gloomy energy begins to surface. Lurking shadows appear in each corner. The white netting behind the rose-gold floor-length curtains begins to blow forward ever so slightly.

  The clothes Eve had on today are sprawled out in an untidy manner over the white wooden chair by her desk, which holds all her coursework. Sat on top of all the papers is one of her most sacred possessions: her diary. This isn’t one of the leather-backed, scrawling notebooks that she uses to release her frustration, this is her actual personal diary! A huge metal golden buckle rests on top of its thick spine. Ordinarily this is locked, securing the pages that contain all her secrets. The deep red leather-backed book holds all her inner thoughts and true emotions. Her dad never enters her room and so Eve leaves the personal book around freely. Her backpack, its contents removed and its zip open slightly, looks deflated. It’s placed on the floor next to the bed. The picture of her and her mum is proudly positioned on the solid-white wooden bedside cabinet, and this is the first thing she sees every morning.

  Gregg, the scruffy bow-tied teddy-bear, is on the pillow next to her head. She fell asleep with him resting on her face. Eve often does this when she’s had an emotionally challenging day. Gregg still has the sweet scent of her mum’s favourite Chanel perfume on his fur, even after all these years. The teddy looks as though he’s watching over her whilst she’s sleeping peacefully.

  Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge gust of wind flows through the room, causing Eve to shudder in her sleep. Its presence becomes so forceful the hairs on her body stand to attention as she pulls the bedsheets up to her chin. She’s still dreaming. Within a matter of seconds, the powerful gust of energy travels round the room and forces Eve’s diary open. The leather-backed book stands no chance as the wind ruffles through the pages.

  Eve’s expression changes slightly. A look of concern, a look of fear, a look of neglect and despair, begins to surface on her face. It’s as though she’s making a progressive transition from dreaming sweet, pleasant dreams to soul-crushing, obnoxious, terrifying nightmares. As she turns, her face begins to sink into the pillow and she sobs ever so slightly.

  The diary on her desk lies open at a double page with blue inked writing neatly scrawled all over it. The pages read the following:

  It’s three years since you left me, three years since you were taken away from me. Today I met someone and the only person I wanted to tell was you.

  I met him on the bus and for just a brief second, I forgot all about you not being here any more! A brief second passed and I thought… Shit, what’s mum going to think about me speaking to him?

  He’s a lot older than me and yes, he made butterflies tickle in my tummy so much th
at I forgot all about you being DEAD!

  Yes, dead! You’re DEAD and I must live with this! I must live with the fact that you’re no longer here because of ME!

  Your own flesh and blood!

  You gifted me with life and yet I took yours from you!

  Then it hits me! Eve, you don’t have a mum and when this guy finds out why, he will want nothing to do with you!

  You’re broken and cursed, Evelyn Jade Honey.

  Why should you be happy…?

  Why should you have a boyfriend and a life?

  You killed your dad’s soul mate! Your own mum!

  I know I am not worthy of life and I understand that I am not worthy of death. Death would be too kind. So, what am I worthy of? What is my purpose? Why am I still here?

  A big group of girls at school call me a murderer every time they see me. I’ve been sat on the toilet before now and they’ve followed me in, reached over the cubicle and started singing ‘Eve’s a murderer.’ I hang my head in shame and I don’t go to the toilet at school anymore.

  Why didn’t I look, mum, why did I just walk out? I can’t cope anymore. What is it, why am I here to be punished in life and not worthy of being set free with death?

  There are stains on the page where her tears have fallen, smudging the blue ink.

  A faint whisper sounds through the room: “You’re here for me. I have your purpose.”

  Eve’s dream has changed. She was dreaming sweet innocent dreams, with bright colours, rainbows and happiness, as she bounced through the fields holding tightly on to her mum’s hand. They were skipping, laughing and playfully rolling on the grass. Well, not anymore. Now she’s lost her mum and has ventured into the darkest forest. No one is there, not a soul is in sight. She hears the sound of twigs and branches snapping all around her. Her senses are enhanced by the inner fear she feels and she is trapped in this nightmare. Eve shouts, “Mum?”