What a Lady Wants

by Victoria Alexander

  “I can’t give up what I’ve never had.” She shrugged. “Perhaps that part of making the best of a bad situation should wait until I have.”

  “Absolutely not. I will not have my wife—”

  She raised a brow.

  He narrowed his gaze. “I see exactly what you’re doing Felicity, and it won’t work.”

  “Nigel, you have gone on and on about how unfair the circumstances we find ourselves in have been to you. In the interest of fairness, if you are allowed to live your life in what ever way you see fit, I should be allowed to do so as well. It’s only”—she paused to emphasize the word—“fair. If you wish to lead separate lives, so be it.” She turned and headed down the stairs. “I shall see you, well, whenever I see you then. Do have a pleasant evening.”

  A moment later he heard the door downstairs open and close and she was gone.

  What in the name of all that was holy had just happened here? Nigel moved to the nearest chair and collapsed into it. He had intended to seize back control of his life. And indeed he had done so. He was now free to resume his life precisely as it had been before their marriage, with the exception of amorous pursuits. And those he was more than willing—indeed eager—to restrict to Felicity alone.

  As for the rest of it, he had gotten exactly what he’d wanted, but he’d never imagined she’d want it as well. He’d thought she’d be annoyed or upset, even angry. He was prepared for that. But he’d never dreamed she would decide to follow in his footsteps. Well, he wouldn’t allow it.

  Nigel got to his feet and started after her. The very thought of her drinking and gambling and doing everything else he wouldn’t hesitate to do was outrageous. He’d stop her right now.

  Still…he paused in the doorway. Felicity was a clever woman. Very clever. She obviously thought if she turned the tables on him, he’d back down. More than likely she had no intention of actually engaging in the behavior she had threatened. It was obviously a bluff on her part. He’d wager serious sums that she was even now on her way to Lady Kilbourne’s house to pour out her complaints about her new husband.

  Of course, that was exactly what she was doing. He chuckled to himself. She was playing this the same way she played cards, keeping her trump cards close to her in anticipation of the last trick. What she didn’t know was that the last trick had indeed been played and he had won. He just had to wait for her to realize it.

  Nigel may have been manipulated by fate, but he wasn’t going to be manipulated by his wife as well. Not bloody likely. He knew her well enough to know, regardless of how outspoken she was or how flirtatious, she was not the type of woman to do the type of things she’d threatened. As for other men, the very idea was absurd. No, she was definitely bluffing, and he could wait until she stopped pretending to follow his example. No matter how long it took.

  Nigel absolutely refused to consider the possibility that there was so much as the slightest chance he might just be wrong.

  “Obviously my brother has gone mad.” Madeline watched her new sister-in-law pace her parlor. “Or you have. How could you have agreed to such a thing?”

  “I didn’t agree. And what was I supposed to do?” Felicity shook her head. “I suspect he expected an argument or tears or something quite emotional.” She paused and met Madeline’s gaze. “I refused to give him that. It seemed at the time that turning the tables was the best strategy.”

  “Probably,” Madeline said thoughtfully. “Although many women would have accepted their husband’s pronouncement.”

  Felicity stared. “Accepted that he will go on with this life exactly as he always has with the exception of coming home to my bed?” Felicity snorted. “Not bloody likely.”

  “Good for you.” Madeline beamed. “I knew you were the right woman for Nigel.”

  “Unfortunately your brother doesn’t feel the same.” She sat down on the sofa beside her sister-in-law. “He says he likes me and it was quite obvious that he enjoyed me.”

  “Did you enjoy him as well?”

  “Dear Lord yes,” Felicity said without thinking. Heat rushed up her face.

  Madeline laughed. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I think a husband and wife should enjoy one another. Besides, it keeps the husband in the bed he should be in.”

  “That’s something at any rate.”

  “I should have expected this.” Madeline sighed. “Nigel’s reaction, that is.”

  “The fact that he feels his life has been taken out of his hands?”

  Madeline nodded. “Nigel has always been used to doing precisely as he wished without particular regard to responsibility or duty. It’s only recently that that has changed.”

  “You mean marriage.”

  “No, actually I don’t. You see a few weeks ago, Father began turning over management of the family’s affairs to him. Responsibilities Nigel knew he’d have to take on when Father died, but he assumed he’d have years until he reached that point. Given Father’s accomplishments, my brother was terrified of stepping into his shoes. But he’s doing very well from what Mother has told me. He seems to have a natural aptitude for it. One might say it’s in his blood. Father’s quite proud of him. Of course, the only one who thought he wasn’t up to it was Nigel himself.”

  “Nigel mentioned that he and his father have recently grown closer.”

  Madeline nodded. “I think they have. They’ve been spending a great deal of time together, more than ever before, I think. Although they have never had a bad relationship. They’ve never been at odds the way so many fathers and sons tend to be. Father has always been tolerant of Nigel’s misadventures, and I think the tiniest bit amused as well, although I’m certain Nigel has no idea of that. Nigel and I turn”—she winced—“thirty-one in a few weeks. At that time, Father is putting management of the family interests entirely in Nigel’s hands, whether he wants it or not.”

  “I see,” Felicity said slowly. “He has no choice then.”

  “None whatsoever.” Madeline shook her head. “It is his lot in life.” She paused. “He didn’t have a say in Father’s decision nor did he really have a say in marrying you.”

  “And following on the heels of one part of his life being taken from his hands, it makes a certain amount of sense that he would fight to remain in charge of another part.”

  “Yes, well, understanding the situation doesn’t make it any better, does it?”

  “Not really.” Poor Nigel, no wonder the man felt trapped. Between his father’s edict and his being forced into marriage, Felicity could well understand his analogy about being a boulder rolling downhill. Good Lord, in recent weeks Nigel had been more of an avalanche than a mere boulder. “So what am I to do? The last thing I want, the last thing I’ve ever wanted, is for him to be unhappy.”

  “And he won’t be,” Madeline said firmly, then grimaced. “Eventually.”

  Felicity raised a skeptical brow.

  “Come now, Felicity. It’s not as bad as all that. He does like you and he likes being in your bed—”

  “But he doesn’t like being married to me.”

  “Nonsense. He’s barely been married to you for more than a day. He can’t know at this point whether he likes being married to you or not.”

  “But—”

  “He doesn’t like the idea of marriage. He doesn’t like being made to marry. And he doesn’t like being forced to give up a way of life that was very nearly at an end anyway.” Madeline sighed. “What my brother really doesn’t like is growing up, but it’s time. Past time.”

  Felicity spread her hands in a helpless gesture. “Then am I to wait for him to realize that?”

  Madeline snorted. “Lord help us, no. Who knows how long it might take Nigel to come to his senses. And I can’t see you being the kind of dutiful wife patiently waiting with open arms for your husband to come home from his carousing.”

  Felicity wrinkled her nose. “Yet another flaw in my character.”

  “Don’t be absurd. That kind of wife
wouldn’t suit Nigel at all. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if his little announcement about living his own life wasn’t as much a challenge to you as anything else. I think my brother would have been disappointed if you had meekly acquiesced to his decree. Now then.” She studied Felicity for a moment. “I suspect you don’t have a plan.”

  “Other than coming directly to you.” Felicity smiled weakly. “No.”

  “I did like that idea about a ladies’ club. Somewhere for ladies to spend their evenings when their husbands are out doing what ever it is they do.”

  Felicity shook her head. “It was the first thing that popped into my head. I wasn’t serious about it.”

  “Perhaps you should be.”

  “It is an interesting proposition, I suppose, but it would take a great deal of time and effort to arrange something like that.” She got to her feet and resumed pacing. “No, I suspect I need to move quickly.”

  “You’re probably right. The longer you allow Nigel to have his own way, the more he will come to expect it.” Madeline shrugged. “Perhaps at some later point we can do something about a ladies’ club.”

  “Which still leaves us at today.” Felicity couldn’t recall ever feeling this helpless before. As if her very life was out of her control, out of her hands. She could understand how Nigel had felt the very same thing and could understand as well his response to it.

  “It does, doesn’t it?” Madeline rose, clasped her hands behind her back, and paced, in precisely the same manner her brother did, in a pattern perpendicular to Felicity’s.

  For long moments neither said a word. It struck Felicity that someone walking in on them right now might think it rather comical to see Lady Windham and Lady Felicity pacing in counterpoint to one another. Indeed, it had all the appearance of a lighthearted theatrical farce. Pity, there was nothing lighthearted about it. No, her heart was heavy and leaden and wretched. Still, this was not the time to give up. After all, she was married to him, probably for the rest of her days. And he did like her. The situation could definitely be worse.

  Madeline stopped and looked at her. “The way I see it, you have two choices.”

  “I do?”

  “Of course. You can accept Nigel’s edict and concern yourself with nothing more than furnishing his home and managing his house hold so that he doesn’t have a care in world and welcome him with a joyful smile to your bed every night.”

  Felicity scoffed. “And my second choice?”

  “You can do exactly what you threatened to do.”

  Felicity stared at her sister-in-law. “I couldn’t possibly. I don’t know the first thing about the kind of activities Nigel no doubt participates in.”

  “You play cards exceptionally well.”

  “I daresay I am up to Nigel’s standards in that.” Felicity waved off the comment. “But I certainly can’t drink excessively.” The few times she had overindulged in spirits came back to her, and she blanched at the memory. She had the most appalling tendency to speak her mind even more so than usual when she was inebriated. Precisely why she avoided excessive drink. “Beyond that, I honestly have no idea how a man like Nigel spends his time.”

  “Nor do I really. I should ask my husband.” Madeline drew her brows together and considered the question. “I have always thought Nigel and his friends did little more than sit in their clubs, smoke cigars, gamble on cards or dice or simply ridiculous things like who will next have an affair with Lady Whomever or which actress will next catch Lord So and-so’s eye, gossipy things like that. They’ll wager on nearly anything, I suspect. And then there is their inevitable pursuit of women.”

  “Which Nigel says he will abstain from in the future,” Felicity said firmly.

  “Yes, of course.” Madeline studied her sister-in-law. “But you didn’t agree to give up men.”

  “I can scarcely give up something I’ve never had. Aside from Nigel, that is. Besides, I have no interest in other men.”

  “Nigel doesn’t know that.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “You’re missing the point, Felicity. You did not agree to abstain from amorous involvement with other men. Therefore—”

  “You cannot be serious.” Felicity widened her eyes in disbelief. “I couldn’t possibly. Why, it would be wrong. Morally wrong. Besides, I love Nigel.”

  Madeline raised a brow. “You do, do you?”

  “I do.” Felicity had never said the words aloud before. “I think I have from the moment he climbed over my balcony.”

  “And I suspected as much from the moment you first asked for my help.” Madeline grinned. “I couldn’t imagine a woman not in love willing to pursue Nigel.”

  “And yet, loving him does me no good whatsoever.” Felicity shook her head. “It scarcely matters whether I love him or not.”

  “Don’t be absurd. It matters a great deal,” Madeline said firmly. “It means you’re not willing to give up on him.”

  “No I’m not. Never.” Felicity gritted her teeth. “Whether he likes it or not.”

  “Excellent.” Madeline nodded. “Now, regardless of how it might have sounded, I am not proposing you take up with other men, nor am I suggesting you do indeed emulate my brother’s behavior. My suggestion is that you let him think you are.”

  “And how am I to do that?” Felicity crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t simply vanish every evening and pretend that I am out and about. Where shall I go?”

  Madeline grinned. “Here.”

  “That’s very generous of you but—”

  “And in coming here you will be doing exactly what your husband suggested.”

  Felicity drew her brows together in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

  “Nigel suggested you throw yourself into your work, did he not?”

  Felicity nodded.

  “This is the perfect place to do exactly that.” Excitement sparked in Madeline’s eyes. “One of my husband’s ancestors, several generations ago, fancied himself an artist. The room at the back of the house on the third floor has the most wonderful windows and skylights. In that room, you very much feel as if you are out of doors. It has some old furniture in it, but it’s a very big room and it’s not being used at the moment. I tend to keep it locked because little boys and large, tempting windows are not a good combination. I’ve never been up there at night but I think it might well be perfect—”

  “For studying the stars!” Felicity cast her sister-in-law a delighted smile. “My word, I’ve never had my own observatory before. What a wonderful idea.”

  “I thought so,” Madeline said modestly. “But the very best part about it is that you scarcely have to lie to Nigel regarding your activities at all. Why, you simply tell him you are off to pursue your own interests and leave it at that.”

  “And leave him to draw his own conclusions,” Felicity said thoughtfully. “Yes, that might work.”

  “Of course it will work. In no time at all, Nigel will realize sharing a life with you is far preferable to living his own alone.” Madeline turned and started toward the door. “Come along then. You should see your new observatory.”

  Felicity hurried after her. “We shall have to move my telescope here. And my globe and star charts.”

  “I have been thinking of purchasing a telescope myself,” Madeline said over her shoulder. “Perhaps you can show me how to use it.”

  “Yes, of course.” Felicity followed Madeline up the stairs. “It will be great fun to be able to share my interest with a friend.”

  “My dear girl, I’m not your friend.” Madeline stopped a few steps in front of Felicity and leveled her a firm look. “I am your sister.”

  Felicity caught her breath. “I’ve never had a sister before.”

  “And I’ve never had a sister close to my own age before. I’m quite looking forward to it.” Madeline nodded and started back up the stairs. “We have a great deal in common, I think. Not the least of which is my brother.”

  “Madel
ine,” Felicity said slowly. “Nigel won’t think you, I don’t know, a traitor for your kindnesses toward me? After all, you are his twin.”

  “As such, I want only his happiness. And I shall do what ever I must to help ensure his happiness.” Ahead of her, Madeline’s voice rang with purpose. “And, especially when it comes to my brother, I do so love to be helpful.”

  Twelve

  What a man really wants is the fortitude of character to admit when he’s wrong.

  The Honorable Mr. Nigel Cavendish

  “You’re joining me for breakfast?” Felicity said mildly, a piece of toast in one hand, a pen poised over a notebook in the other, correspondence in neat stacks beside the notebook.

  “I’m hungry.” Nigel seated himself in the chair at the head of the table for the first time.

  “You’ve never joined me for breakfast before.” She smiled pleasantly and turned her attention back to what ever she was writing. “You’re usually off to Cavendish House by this hour of the morning.”

  “Yes, well, today, I’m hungry.” He signaled to George to bring him a plate and wondered irritably when Felicity was going to hire servants to replace those from Cavendish House. After all, they’d been married a full week now. And a most annoying week it had been too.

  “You came in rather late last night.” He adopted an offhand manner, took a slice of toast from the rack on the table, and slathered it with jam.

  “Did I? I hadn’t noticed,” she said, without looking up from the notebook. “You should try the jam. It’s excellent.”

  He glared at the toast and viciously took a bite as if it were responsible for his troubles. It wasn’t, of course, and the jam was indeed excellent. Not that even ambrosia from the gods would ease his foul mood. A mood that had grown worse with every passing day.

  For the first few days after Nigel had declared he would not be changing his life, he was confident and not the least bit concerned about where Felicity was spending her evenings. He’d simply assumed she was at her parents’ house or with her friend Lady Kilbourne. Or perhaps attending one party or another. He’d spent his nights at his favorite club with Norcroft and the American and whoever else happened along, in a pleasant haze of self-satisfaction. He was doing precisely as he pleased after all. He and Felicity had returned home each evening within a few minutes of each other and had promptly fallen into bed together, which had continued to be most extraordinary. Her willingness to learn was impressive and she was a very good student.