Where the Devil Says Goodnight

by K. A. Merikan

  “I think we should… talk first,” he said, his face hanging an inch above Emil’s

  Talking was the last thing on Emil’s mind, but this wasn’t just about him, so he took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to Adam’s temple. “Go on.”

  Adam shut his eyes and took a deep intake of air, rolling his hips against Emil’s despite what he’d just declared. “I don’t want to hurt you again. I— I think he’s gone, but don’t want to risk it,” he said softly.

  Emil sucked his lips in, relieved that Adam didn’t want to back out of this altogether. “You won’t hurt me if he’s gone.”

  Adam swallowed hard and, after a moment’s hesitation, climbed off Emil. But while Emil feared he would leave their improvised blanket, Adam lay down so close they could smell each other’s breath. “We don’t know that. Maybe we could just… watch each other?”

  Emil’s mind spun with the suggestion, but thinking clearly was impossible when Adam’s body was on offer, even if for viewing only. He could do that. He could do whatever Adam wanted if it meant he’d get to kiss his succulent lips, his throat, his smooth chest and pale stomach.

  He lay beside Adam, but couldn’t help brushing against him with one shoulder. “Where do I sign up?”

  The moment he said that, tension was gone from Adam’s face, replaced by a soft smile. But when Emil’s gaze already trailed lower, to the faint pink of Adam’s nipple peeking through the thin undershirt, Adam nudged his chin up. “This is serious.”

  “Okay, okay,” Emil said and focused on Adam’s face, ready to drink up all of his words.

  Adam took a deep breath, his shoulders hunching as he took his time thinking his words through. “I never felt this… need so strongly. I believe in God, but the more I am with Him, the more alone I feel. I just—“ he stopped, swallowing hard several times, in so much discomfort Emil forgot about the lust raging in his body and stroked Adam’s shoulder for comfort. “You make me feel at ease, like no one and nothing else. This past week, I’ve been constantly on edge, wondering if that monster still lurked in the dark, but every time you were with me, my thoughts fell into place. I know I shouldn’t just blindly follow my instincts, but I want to. With you.”

  Heat buzzed under Emil’s skin, as if his insides were a furnace Adam had just lit. So he hadn’t been wrong to feel the way he did. Adam could also tell that the sparks between them shone brightly, and if they both cared for this fire, it would persevere through every winter to come. If only they let this emotion burn, it would keep them warm, and neither of them would ever be lonely again.

  “But I need you to understand that I’ll only stay here for another five months. And then, I’ll go wherever they choose to move me,” Adam said, eyes locked on Emil’s, glowing with the desire to hear that those conditions were fine with Emil.

  But Emil’s own fire dimmed as he forced himself to consider what Adam was offering, not what he secretly wanted. He’d been attracted to Adam since the night they had met, to the point where he’d made a fool of himself on more than one occasion for the sole purpose of trying his luck with a man who’d already said no.

  He didn’t know when that pure lust turned into the need to be around Adam, to see him, to hear his voice, and make him smile over silly things. Despite all their differences, they simply clicked and longed for one another’s company in the pit of boredom and mundanity called Dybukowo. In all that time, he’d never bothered to ask Adam if he knew how long he was staying. He’d just projected his own hopes on Adam and assumed it would be forever.

  Reality was as insidious as the serpent— whispering sweet words into his ear even as it choked him.

  He would end up hurt. Already attached to Adam as if they’d known one another their whole lives, by agreeing to the terms he was consciously making the choice to break his own heart in five months. But he couldn’t say no. Not to Adam, this difficult man he wanted to love until they forgot there was an expiration date on their relationship.

  “Will you be mine until then?”

  Adam swallowed hard, shifting that bit closer, his cheeks blooming with the sweetest pink flush. “Yes, but let’s keep things to kissing and touching, okay? So that he doesn’t come again.”

  Emil took a deep breath through his nose. The fern flower burned beside them with its red and yellow flames—literal magic before their very eyes—but Emil still couldn’t look away from Adam.

  “Didn’t you say he’d come last time to fulfil your desires?”

  Adam averted his gaze but pushed a tiny bit closer and rubbed his nose against Emil’s shoulder. “Are you really saying I should let the devil take over my body?”

  Emil shook his head, ashamed of what he’d just suggested. “I’m sorry. But whatever we do, even if it’s just holding hands, I need you to say it first. Say that you’re only mine.”

  A shiver went through Adam’s body, and he rested his cheek on Emil’s shoulder, watching him with such longing that knowing they would have to eventually part was already ripping Emil’s heart out.

  “I’ll be yours,” Adam said in the softest of whispers and brushed his knuckles against Emil’s stomach.

  Emil was breathless, hit hard by words he’s asked for. “Pull down your pants,” he whispered and didn’t hesitate doing the same with his own. His dick had softened during their conversation, but was once again eager for attention.

  Adam’s breath was ragged, but when Emil said the word, he was swift as if he’d been waiting for permission to undress all this time. His buckle clanged loudly, but he didn’t hesitate and revealed his hard dick, nestled in blond pubic hair. “This is… you’re,” he said as if he were incapable of putting his thoughts and feelings into words. But his gaze, sizzling hot once it settled on Emil’s nakedness, said it all.

  “I want you to wrap your hand around your cock, but keep looking at me,” Emil said as he reached to his own erection, languidly stroking himself for Adam’s viewing pleasure. The stare it got him, full of longing and excitement, was yet more fuel for the fire raging inside him.

  Adam wouldn’t look away as he dragged his open hand down his chest, to finally reach his dick. His eyes rolled back at the touch, as if even masturbation was a newfound pleasure for him. “It’s almost like it’s you touching me. And I will imagine I’m touching you back,” he said, deliciously obscene with his pants lowered and the tank top still on.

  “Imagine wrapping your lips around my dick again. That had felt so good I almost came on the spot.” Emil’s breaths quickened, and so did the movements of his hand over his cock. He shifted closer to smell Adam but refused to break eye contact, making sure Adam knew how much Emil desired him.

  Adam’s nostrils flared, and while Emil couldn’t see him jerking off at that angle, the soft sound of flesh rubbing against flesh filled his head with images that fuelled his imagination as much as the sight of Adam’s handsome face did. “It tasted so good too. Like I was about to drink your essence.”

  Emil’s whole being screamed that Adam should do it again then, but if Adam was afraid, then Emil wouldn’t push him. He eventually looked down, shivering with lust when Adam’s hand moved up and down his dick. Unlike Adam, it held back no secrets. It was eager, long, erect, and Emil was sure Adam would have loved having it sucked.

  Emil let out a strangled moan and jerked off faster, already knowing he’d make sure to come on Adam’s skin, and his reluctant lover followed his lead, until the quiet clearing filled with the sound of flesh hitting flesh and gasps. They were barely touching, but Emil could sense the heat of Adam’s body as he imagined that warm mouth sucking him in, that blond head working back and forth in front of his hips, the warm palms caressing his balls.

  “I can’t resist you,” Adam said as his hips started bucking with the excitement of approaching orgasm.

  Emil would have leaned in for a kiss even if it meant he’d get his lips seared by infernal fire. Pleasure trampled over him like a herd of bison, but he didn’t look down at his spu
nk painting Adam’s skin like he’d planned, too focused on the soft lips that took away his breath.

  For a moment, he could hear the distant sound of drums and flutes triumphantly providing a soundtrack to this moment of perfect connection.

  Adam moaned, pushing into the kiss as he shook and shot his cum between their bodies, eager to roll into Emil and entwine their legs. His face expressed absolute ecstasy, not tainted by fear and falsehood like the first time the two of them had had sex. Tonight, his joy was unadulterated and so pure Emil wanted to drink it up and use it to forever chase away his own loneliness.

  “Emil…”

  “You’re so lovely,” Emil said with a smile, still catching his breath.

  He was happy, even if he knew this would only last five months. He would spend the summer of his life with Adam and refused to look forward. He wouldn’t waste a single day, wouldn’t leave Dybukowo unless it was in Adam’s company.

  Everything else could wait.

  Chapter 15 - Adam

  Clouds took the strangest forms above Adam’s head, yet somehow all of them reminded him of bodies twisted together for pleasure.

  He exhaled, weightless on the surface of the lake, which kept him drifting in the cool water while the sky constantly changed. A shiver ran down his body when the gentle breeze licked his damp cock, yet another reminder that he’d once again let Emil talk him into something he shouldn’t do.

  A priest should not swim naked in public. Nobody should unless they were certain there was no one about. It was early in the morning, and the lake was a fifteen minute walk away from the village, but it was still vacation season, and someone might get the brilliant idea of making use of the beautiful day. Especially as August was coming to an end.

  He had no idea how he went from adamantly refusing to participate in the skinny dipping to following Emil’s lead, but it seemed like the perfect metaphor for his recent life.

  He’d come to Dybukowo to avoid the temptation of male flesh, only to meet a man who tempted him like no other. He’d hoped celibacy would keep him away from sleeping with men, and he ended up losing his virginity under the influence of an infernal force—that fortunately seemed gone from his life. And still, despite his conviction to never let himself go like that again, he’d been having sexual relations with Emil for the past two months.

  Each time he returned to his narrow bed at the parsonage, he begged God for forgiveness and ruminated about the implications of living in sin without the resolve to clean up his act any time soon. But every morning he got up already thinking of Emil, starved for his attention like a needy puppy.

  Emil was an addiction he couldn’t make himself kick. He knew that the persistent sin made the soul rot, knew they were putting themselves in danger of being discovered every time they were together, but Adam still couldn’t resist Emil’s touch and his wide, handsome smiles. Most men in his position would have at least had the decency of promising themselves every time was this one last time, but he’d made his decision back in the ravine, and he wouldn’t go back on it even if it left him in the horrible limbo of joy and guilt.

  He only had three more months left with Emil, and he intended to get his fill while this summer of the heart lasted, so he could think back to it with fondness in the lonely years to come. Once he left Dybukowo, he’d never experience the harrowing need for someone’s presence, never long for them so strongly it made his throat ache. A piece of him would stay behind with Emil, leaving him incomplete and unable to love ever again.

  He choked up when he thought of leaving Emil behind. He could already see it. The last, discreet touch as the bus arrived, and then watching him disappear in the distance, alone in a village that had no place for someone like him.

  A bitter end to a summer of love that should have never been.

  Tears were close to welling up when something pulled on Adam’s leg and dragged him under the surface. The stupidest thought he’d ever come up with hit him first—that a drowner was pulling him all the way down. And the one that came next was even sillier—there could be no drowners in the water because he’d blessed the lake, as if legendary creatures were real in the first place.

  The strong hand dragged him down, and he barely managed to catch a gulp of air before he was plunged into the water.

  Emil. Of course.

  The story of Adam’s life made literal. Emil kept pulling him deeper and deeper into murky waters he should avoid. But as he opened his eyes and saw Emil smile in the greenish depths, his long dark hair floating around them like tentacles, giving in was the only option. He stroked Emil’s side and pressed their lips together before playfully pushing him away and emerging to the surface.

  “What are you doing? I’m too young to die!”

  “I wouldn’t let you drown,” Emil said as soon as he appeared and pulled Adam in for a hug that was perilously close to getting sexual.

  Adam met his gaze, his hands settling on his lover’s hips, but he remained undecided and splashed his face before swimming off on his back. “You say that now.”

  Emil laughed and grabbed his ankle. “Come back here!”

  Maybe that was why his mother really didn’t want him to come here? This sense of isolation that made sin come so easily, because it felt that nobody would ever found out. She and Dad got talked into participating in a pagan celebration, and maybe she knew temptation wouldn’t spare her son either? Whatever happened in Dybukowo, would stay here forever—hidden away in the valley.

  Water splashed Adam’s face, and he burst into laughter, letting Emil pull him closer as the clouds obscured some of the sky. With most of their bodies underwater, the physical closeness in public was easier to excuse, and he looked up, biting his lip as Emil pushed back the hair that stuck to his face.

  “Or what?”

  “Or a drowner will take your balls,” he whispered, and before Adam knew it, Emil’s fingers found their way to Adam’s crotch.

  His toes dug into the sand under his feet, and he pressed his hand to Emil’s chest, breathless from the suddenness of this sensation. “Oh, God.”

  Emil gently pulled on Adam’s sac with that smile straight from hell. “But maybe he’d suck on them first…”

  Adam’s thoughts went red with heat, and within two heartbeats got so obscene he should’ve buried himself in the sand and never come out. He wasn’t stupid. It was obvious that Emil wanted more from the sexual relationship they shared. More than touching, kissing, and watching each other masturbate.

  Adam had already broken his vows of celibacy and was conducting mass without a clean conscience. He wasn’t only a bad priest but a terrible human being. A liar. A hypocrite. But he so very much wanted to give in. He wanted to feel Emil’s weight on him and once again experience the overwhelming sensation of Emil’s cock entering his body. They both wanted what had happened when Adam had been the demon’s slave, but it was too much of a risk.

  And Adam’s fear was greater than his need for specific sexual acts when he could have Emil in other ways.

  “Praise be!”

  A female screech tore through the air so unexpectedly Adam lost balance and fell back into the water when he tried to step away too fast.

  The giggles that followed told Adam the greeting wasn’t sincere at all. Jessika Golonko walked toward the grassy shore with a blonde friend. They both carried matching Louis Vuitton beach bags and were clad in bikinis. And while they moved at a leisurely pace, with Adam and Emil butt-naked in the water, it felt as if the teenagers were two race horses approaching the finish line.

  He’d tempted fate, and this time, fate had taken the bait.

  “Now and forever,” Adam answered in a trembling voice, dipping in all the way to his neck while Emil watched him, cracking up as if this was all a big joke. “Girls, please turn around. I wasn’t expecting female company.”

  “Oh, my God! Are you skinny dipping, Father?”

  “No, no! But it’s indecent either way.”

  Jessi
ka snorted, but pushed on the blonde’s arm, and they both turned around. “Naughty, naughty, Father!” she teased and wouldn’t stop chuckling in a way that made Adam’s balls shrivel. Maybe it was for the better.

  He was glad when Emil followed him out of the water, splashing about like a rhino charging at the beach. But when Adam darted for his towel, he spotted the blonde looking over her shoulder as if in slow motion, and he couldn’t believe her audacity when she whistled.

  “Oh, shut up!” Emil yelled, wrapping a towel around his hips.

  In the meantime, Adam was dying of embarrassment. There was no rock big enough for him to hide under. Only being confronted about his porn by the archbishop had been worse than this.

  If any of the higher-ups found out what he was doing here, in Dybukowo, where he was supposed to mellow out his sinful needs, he’d be fucked.

  The blonde turned around. “Me? I’m not the one flaunting my naked body in a public area.”

  Adam could have contested that, considering her entire bikini probably consisted of less fabric than his boxer briefs, but at this point he just wanted to leave and wallow in his shame for the rest of the day, not confront anyone.

  Emil wouldn’t give it a rest though. “Just admit you came to spy on us, you pervs!”

  The blonde scowled. “I’ll sue you for exposing yourself to minors!”

  “I’ll sue you for sexual harassment!” Emil yelled back.

  Jessika turned to them as well, a sly smile stretching her lips. “You can’t afford to sue anyone for anything.”

  Adam was glad to have the towel in place, even though the beginnings of his erection were a distant memory. His gaze went from Emil’s tensing shoulders to the teen’s obscenely expensive bag. “Money means nothing to our Lord. Didn’t Jesus say it would be difficult for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God?”