Just Breathe
Page 9
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as my eyes continued to scan every inch of his face.
Tate abruptly stood from the bed and snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his body to embrace me. “This wasn’t your fault, Savannah,” he whispered in my ear, causing every inch of my skin to come alive. I felt my body collapse into his and the comfort that his body provided was like a warm blanket on a cold morning. It was everything I needed.
“I should clean you up,” I murmured against his chest as reality came crashing back. Tate’s hands let go of my body and he sat on the bed. I began fussing through the first aid kit, knowing full well I was under the glowing stare of Tate, which only deepened the tortured thoughts running through my mind.
“You seem so broken to me, Savannah.”
“Don’t...” I begged and my walls instantly came up. This was not a conversation I wanted or needed to have.
Tate grabbed my hands and pulled me down so I was sitting beside him. He turned toward me and the way he leaned in allowed his face to be barely inches from mine. “I see it in your eyes and in the way that your face drops when something flashes through your mind,” he said softly as his fingers slowly ran through the ends of my hair, untangling the remains of my braid. “I see it in the way you try so hard to pretend you’re always happy, and I saw it tonight, Sav, at your place. I’ve never seen anyone so scared. I want to be the one to put you back together, you’ve just got to let me.” His voice was emotive and direct, he wasn’t afraid to hold back. His fingers left my hair and he traced my jawline with his finger, while his eyes searched mine.
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” I whispered. “Please, I can’t do this. I can’t talk about this now. I stood from the bed quickly, desperate to cease the conversation and leave before I let my guard down any further.
Tate grabbed my hand as I turned to leave. “I’m sorry. Just stay. That conversation is over. Look, I will be the perfect patient.”
I looked at him and sighed. I give up. I can’t fight him anymore. I can’t fight whatever the hell was going on in my head. I can’t fight the urge to break promises made to myself. I can’t fight anything anymore.
A dropped my eyes from his and softly started cleaning his wounds. Carefully, I placed tape over the cut on his brow and he flinched under my touch. All I wanted to do was comfort him, and the thought that I was hurting him killed me. Tate’s eyes closed under my touch and he looked so innocent. I swept the warm washer over his face, washing away the blood that was covering his perfect features. Just as I traced my fingertips to his bottom lip, Tate’s eyes flew open. His eyes were deep pools of emotion that I couldn’t read and he watched my every move without saying a word.
“Why did you defend me?” I whispered.
“I had to, I had no choice. All I know is that you are taking up every thought in my head and the way you are drawing me in is like nothing I’ve experienced before. I’m not like this, Sav. I don’t chase girls. I don’t care about girls. I don’t get excited about the thought of seeing someone until you. When I heard that dickwad say those things about you, I needed to protect you, I needed to defend you. I had to wipe the fucking smirk off his pretty little face.”
“Well, I think you did a good job at that,” I said as I blushed under his gaze, my head swarming with his admissions.
“I don’t understand how you can be drawn to me. I haven’t really been accommodating to you.” I was whispering and keeping my eyes from his in a feeble attempt to hide what I was thinking. I felt like I was fifteen years old, back in Australia, talking to a guy behind the bus shelter.
Tate rested his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to his body. “I’m scared of you, but sometimes being scared is the best thing that can happen,” he whispered in pure honesty. I breathed in deeply as my head became fuzzy with emotion. The Tate I was seeing tonight, was a Tate that I had never seen before and my heart seemingly liked him a little too much.
His arms tightened around my waist and my eyes fluttered closed when he rested his head on my stomach. In a moment of bliss I could feel his breath on my skin through the thin material of my dress. Why was I so weak when it came to him? My head dropped and my cheek rested on the top of his head as my arms wrapped around his shoulders. I was losing all my inhibitions and there was no way I could stop. He pulled away from me slowly and looked at me with eyes laced with lust, intensity and frustration.
Without thinking of any consequences, my lips found the corner of his mouth. The tension between us since we first kissed was undeniable. His body tensed under my touch and a moan escaped his lips. I didn’t care anymore; I couldn’t fight what my body was craving. I crashed my mouth to his and a deep gasp escaped his throat as my lips collided with his cut. I felt his tongue hit my lips, begging for entrance, and I couldn’t refuse. I loved the sensation only his mouth could provide. Our tongues collided in fevered intensity, fighting to get closer. Pulling Tate to his feet, our bodies slammed together, fighting against any space that kept us from getting closer to each other. I gasped as his hands gripped my hair with such force that pain and pleasure shot through my body. The intensity of our kiss had me losing my breath and my knees were threatening to give way under the pressure of the kiss.
I pulled back first, desperate to take a breath.
Tate leaned his forehead on mine and I couldn’t resist breathing in his scent as I tried to catch my breath. “What are you doing to me, Sav?” he asked breathlessly.
I was breaking every rule with him. I was feeling things that I had tried to lock away for so many years. I was thinking about him like I shouldn’t. I was shattering every protection that I had put around me. How could someone like Tate Connors make me consider breaking all of the promises I had made to myself?
Tate looked down at my dress and his face looked pained at the sight of his blood covering the expensive fabric. “I’ll get you something to wear,” he mumbled apologetically.
Grabbing a shirt off a hanger in his closet, Tate turned back toward me and it was then that I noticed his tattoo. How could I have missed that? My eyes lingered on his perfectly defined chest and I swallowed hastily as I bared witness to the delicious V carved low on his torso. My brain kicked into overdrive and I was mesmerized.
My eyes swarmed with heat as I drank in every inch of him. “Your tattoo.” I breathed out.
My fingertips connected with his skin and caressed the outline of his tattoo. I traced the permanently-etched letters that spelt Connors that ran vertically from armpit to his hip in perfect script writing. It was stunning. His body tensed under my touch and I couldn’t help but love the sound of his breath catching as my fingertips ran along his skin.
“Savannah,” he pleaded in a ragged tone but still took a step closer to me.
Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes and fingers from his body. “What?”
“If you keep doing that, I’m going to have to break my rule.”
I shifted my eyes from his torso and furrowed my brows in question. “What rule would that be?”
“Having sex with a girl in my bedroom; I don’t just let anyone in here you know.” His smile was intoxicating. This room was intoxicating and I could feel my cheeks flush.
“Sometimes rules are there to be broken.” I smirked, knowing full well that it was taking every ounce of my strength not to rip off his clothes and break a thousand rules with him.
I moved behind him as my eyes scoped every inch of his body. The muscles of his back rippled as I swept my fingers across his skin and I sighed at the tattoo adorning his back. Stars were splattered from his neck to tailbone with a lone heart in the center. It was terrifyingly beautiful. My fingers moved from his neck to his tailbone, tracing the stars and heart with my nails. I couldn’t resist leaning in and placing a lingering kiss on his shoulder blade.
I couldn’t get enough of the way his skin felt. Tate’s breathing quickened under my touch, which appeased my ego. I was happy I seemed to have the same ef
fect on him as he had me. “Seriously, Savannah, you’re killing me.” He spun me around; his eyes were on fire, causing my stomach to flutter.
“It’s my turn to clean you up.” He walked out of the room and seconds later I heard the sound of the faucets running before he walked back toward me, holding a towel and wet cloth.
“Can you help me?” I asked as I fought with the zipper on the back of the dress. I felt his fingers graze my collarbone before sweeping my hair off my neck. Oh god, that felt good.
My dress became loose and it shifted over my hips. I was standing in the middle of Tate’s bedroom with my dress around my ankles in just my bra and panties.
“You are heart-crushingly beautiful, Savannah.” Tate moved toward me and his eyes never left my body. I watched him, waiting for his next move, praying his hands would be on my body. Tate began his torture on my body and swept the warm cloth over my stomach and up to my chest in slow soft movements, a deep sigh escaping my lips.
I closed my eyes as I began to get lost in the feel of his touch. I was mesmerized by his presence, and in that moment every fear I had of him faded. He could have done anything to me and I wouldn’t have said no.
“You’re done.” His soft voice broke my trance and my eyes sprang open with heat.
I grabbed the waist of his sweatpants, pulling him toward me and I kissed him like I had never kissed anyone before. I kissed him with a passion I hadn’t felt for someone before. I kissed him like it would be the last time I kissed anyone. Tate’s body reacted immediately and his hands gripped my hips and pulled me in. Our chests joined as one and the feeling of his bare body colliding against mine in a flush of heat and passion was exhilarating. His tongue massaged mine as we fought every emotion from that night. I could feel my body buzzing for him. I was willing to break rules tonight. My hand lingered to the waistband of his sweatpants and my thumb caressed the sensitive skin on the small of his back. Tate groaned under my touch, causing his teeth to nip my bottom lip roughly and I gasped in pleasure.
Tate drew his face away from mine and he looked at me in defeat. “If I don’t stop now, I won’t stop at all.” His voice was breathless, his face flushed and our kissing had caused his lip to bleed again.
I ran my finger over his bleeding lip and took a step toward him. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, Sav.”
“It’s just for tonight, Tate. Just tonight.”
I pulled his face to mine; my lips searching for his. Within seconds, his eyes darkened with need and I was on his bed and he was crawling over me with eyes of intention. I wasn’t thinking of anything besides being as close to him as I could.
“Protection?” Tate asked as he swept kisses over my chest while his hands fumbled with my panties.
“I’m on the pill.”
His hand stopped devastatingly close to my most sensitive area. “You sure about this, Sav?”
“Tate, I’ve wanted this from the moment I saw you in reception. If you keep hesitating, I’ll have to question this reputation I’ve heard about.”
“Well, I better live up to my reputation.” He smirked down at me, I lifted my back as he fumbled with the clasp of my bra. His eyes scoped my body and I couldn’t hide my excitement at being under his gaze. “You truly are amazing.”
His face dropped to my neck and I squeezed my eyes tight. A million thoughts were running through my head. My fingers ran the length of his back, scraping my nails along his skin, digging in deeper as his mouth found my breast and his hand slid inside my panties. “Tate!” I moaned at the contact.
“You are quite ready, I see,” he moaned against my skin as my hips bucked under his touch. Oh, I was ready all right.
“I want this. Now.” My hands grasped tight on him, showing my intention, showing my need, showing my want.
“You are so bossy.” He winked and lightly kissed my lips as he pushed into me in one swift movement. My gasp lingered in the air at the feeling of us finally connecting in a way that my body had craved since the moment I laid eyes on him. “You ready for this?” he growled and thrust deep in me, causing me to whimper as pleasure pierced every inch of me.
“Is everything okay in there?” Tanzi’s voice echoed through his bedroom.
I looked up at Tate with wide eyes before they shot to the door in fear that Tanzi would fling open the door and walk in to find her brother and me going at it.
“Yeah, everything is good, Tanzi. We’re just fixing each other up.”
“Tate!” I slapped him in the chest and whimpered as he dove farther into me, filling me in one swift movement. “Oh my god.” He grabbed my hips, pulling himself out and thrusting himself completely in me in one deep movement. The feeling was incredible. For once I was enjoying sex for what it was. Tate wasn’t a distraction, and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it.
“Okay, well, let me know if I can help?” Tanzi questioned and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“That won’t be necessary. Sav is doing a great job. Best one I’ve had.” Tate looked at me as he spoke and it was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced.
“I’m going to bed.” Tanzi’s voice was a distant memory as I looked at the man hovering above me.
“Tate?” I moaned. “I want to be feeling you for days. Fuck me like you’ve never fucked another girl.”
His body hardened on top of me and I felt every ripple of his chest against me. Tate buried himself deep in me time and time again and the sound of his groan erupted something in me. The way he said my name over and over again was like music to my ears. Pleasure ripped through my body as he buried his face in the crook of my neck and his arms held my body tightly. My body succumbed to him over and over again, in a way that I could only describe as perfection.
Chapter Twelve
The sound of a deep voice singing in my kitchen forced me out of my deep slumber. Who was singing? And who was in my apartment this early?
My fingertips ran over my swollen lips that had been attacked by Tate only hours earlier and my body hummed as memories of my night spent with Tate flooded me. I knew we had broken rules last night, rules that both of us had created for a reason. I was intimate with him in more ways than one. I had broken rule number three: Never be intimate with a guy more than once and he had broken his rule number one: Never have sex with a girl in his room, but I couldn’t remove the smile that lingered on my lips. He kept the promise I had begged from him; my body would be feeling him for days.
Lucas! Lucas was singing in my kitchen. He had stayed last night, when I had left Tate and come to my apartment at 4 a.m. I found Lucas passed out on my couch. I relaxed back into my mattress. The smell of coffee hit me and I groaned in delight. For the first time since moving to Los Angeles, I wasn’t hung over and I wasn’t rushing into the office. It was heavenly.
“Coffee NOW,” I yelled with a giggle from deep beneath the solace of my comforter.
Lucas’ laughter floated from the kitchen into the bedroom. “What? I’m your servant now?”
“Damn right you are,” I taunted as I climbed out of bed. I looked at myself in my floor mirror and felt giddy at how amazing my life was. Perfect job, perfect friends, perfect crush…what?! I shook all thoughts of having a crush out of my head. Tate was not my crush; he was simply a hot guy I made out with—twice—and had now had crazy, wild, amazing sex with. That’s all he was or ever could be. Yep, that was it. Nothing more. Savannah Rae, you will not kiss him today, I chanted to myself.
I walked through my apartment in a happy daze and sank into the gloriousness of the couch, grabbing the remote and switching on the television. I shifted and glanced into the kitchen to find Lucas zooming around like a madman.
“Where’s my coffee, woman?” I snorted as I saw him spill sugar on the bench, cursing under his breath.
“Jesus, give me a break. You are a ball-breaker.” I laughed at his comment and moved toward the front door when I heard a loud knock.
“About 4 a.m.,” I replied, knowing that my cheeks flushed.
Lucas looked at me knowingly and didn’t hide his devious grin. “You’re blushing!”
A thumping knock on my front door broke the banter between Lucas and me. Seriously, he cracked me up. I was still chuckling when I swung open the door. My eyes landed on Tate holding two takeaway coffees in his hand with a sheepish look on his face. I inhaled deeply. My eyes betrayed me as they dropped to his body and I gazed at him longingly. He looked perfect in khaki shorts, a white tee, thongs and sunglasses propped on his head. My eyes searched his face to find the cut above his brow. My hand, like it had a mind of its own, rose to his face and my fingers swept over the deep cut I had cleaned only hours before. His eyes locked with mine and his lips parted to gasp for air. I ran my finger from his brow, down his cheek and softly to his bottom lip. He closed his eyes under my touch, completely immersed in the feeling of my fingers on his skin. He was battered but he was still so beautiful.
“Ball-breaker, your coffee—oh shit, sorry.”
At the sound of Lucas’ voice, Tate’s eyes flung open and I cringed as I knew our moment was lost. His face dropped and he took a step back into the hall to break all contact. My eyes shifted between Lucas and Tate and I realized how bad this would have looked. I looked like I had just stepped out of bed, and Lucas was wearing only boxer shorts while holding a coffee that he made for me. We looked like a couple in love, spending a blissful Sunday together.
“Tate, it’s not what it looks like,” I pleaded. I reached out to grab his hand but my sudden movement only made him pull farther from me.
“I’ve got to go,” Tate said in a voice so soft that I almost couldn’t hear. I stepped toward him to try and make him stay, but he spun around and stalked toward the lift without giving me another look.