Just Breathe

by Rachel Brookes

  My eyes shot open when I heard the squeak of the bathroom door opening. What was he doing?

  Tate didn’t say a word when he opened the glass shower door. His eyes hungrily lingered over my body, drinking in every inch of me. His eyes showed a dark passion that I so often got lost in. A thick need penetrated the air. I felt nervous under his gaze; I was exposed. I bit my lip as I tried to contain my unsteady breathing, but nothing that I did was calming down the rate of my frantically beating heart.

  Still without a word, he stepped under the hot stream of water, fully clothed, his eyes never leaving mine. I gasped as his mouth collided with mine in fevered passion, causing me to stumble back towards the tiled wall. His arms encased my waist, pulling me to his soaking-clothed body, his shirt gripping to the ripples of his chest. With one hand behind my neck, he pulled my lips closer to his as he hungrily attacked my mouth. I groaned against his lips as his free hand found my breast and continued his assault on my tender skin. He pulled his mouth away from my swollen lips and dropped his clouded eyes to look at me.

  “It’s you, Sav. It’s always been you and it’s always going to be you.”

  His voice cracked as he spoke, while my heart swelled to new proportions. The moment surrounding us was something that I knew we had both been craving yet fighting so hard to avoid but in this innocence yet intensity of this moment all bets were off. I wasn’t thinking about anything besides Tate right now. The emotion in his voice and the nervousness of his look was something I’d never expect from him.

  Taking a step to break the gap between us, I slowly and tortuously began removing the saturated clothing covering the body I desired. My fingers traced every curve of muscle that graced his chest, my smoldering eyes never leaving his and I sighed as his eyes darkened as he watched me.

  “Don’t worry about ripping my clothes. I can buy new ones.”

  I dropped his wet shirt to the floor of the shower and I ran the palm of my hands over his chest, making sure I paid extra attention to his tattoo that I loved. I heard his breath catch as my hands skimmed over his toned abs and my fingertips dipped and began to trace the distinctive V below his hips. I stopped when I reached the band of his sweatpants as I slipped my thumb under the elastic and stood on my tiptoes to kiss the side of his mouth in the way that I knew would tip him over the edge. I knew I was teasing him, and the way he was reacting was stroking my ego.

  Within seconds he had me pinned against the cold tiled wall and I couldn’t restrain the groan that escaped my lips. Our naked chests collided as one and I sighed at the pressure on my aching body, while grinding my hips hard against him. His fingers weaved their way through the tangled mass of my hair before he pulled my face to his in desperation. In a moment of pure want, his mouth attacked mine and there was no time to allow his tongue access, he thrust it deep into my mouth. Our kiss was hard and fevered with passion. He continued his rough attack on my mouth, sucking, nipping and licking my bottom lip. I couldn’t hold the moan in any longer; I was aching for him. I pushed my aching sex into his hips, begging, suggesting and pleading for him to relieve my tension. His fingers grasped tighter on my hair, wrapping my long locks around his fingers, pulling and tugging, causing me to gasp in pleasurable pain. I could feel that he was begging to be released; my hips grinded into him causing shots of pleasure to shoot through my body.

  “Are you sure?” I murmured into his lips, not wanting to break contact. I could feel his erection on my thigh. I knew his body was more than ready, but what about his heart?

  “I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.” My heart thumped hard in my chest at the sound of his words. I closed my eyes and threw my head back at the sensation of his lips tenderly kissing my neck and along my jaw line and finally onto my collarbone while his hand massaged my breast. I didn’t want this moment to end. I wanted this to last for days.

  My thumbs hooked the inside of his waistband, sliding them over his hips. My wide eyes landed on his erection and I couldn’t help but bite my lip at the sight in front of me. My body ached for him in a way I had never before ached for a man.

  “I need you, Tate. Please,” I begged my breath ragged and deep with lust.

  Like a wild animal finding his next meal, he lifted me on to his hips with a force that knocked the breath out of me. In one sharp movement, he filled me; I clenched around him as I threw my head back and whimpered in pure pleasure. The feeling of connecting with him in such a physical and erotic moment overcame me. My whimpers increased as my body reacted; he was the biggest I had ever had and my body knew it. We stilled for a moment, our faces inches apart and our eyes searching for a sign that this was the right thing to do. I licked my lips and he grinned at my silent agreement and thrust deep into my sex, the sound of my cries filling the bathroom. The electricity between us only intensified with the heat and steam from the shower.

  “Ride me,” he demanded with shortened breath.

  It wasn’t a question; it was a clear direction and I didn’t object. Raising my hips, his hands gripped my buttocks and I slammed onto him over and over again. Our pace never broke and his mouth never left my neck as he devoured, sucked, nipped and kissed every inch of my tingling skin, while I never allowed my eyes to open in fear that this would all be a dream. I was in ecstasy.

  I hungrily dropped my lips to his and began my assault on his mouth. I needed to kiss him; I needed to taste him. Our tongues danced as our thrusts increased. I could feel my impending orgasm surging through my body, and my body with a mind of its own started to clench around him, causing him to increase his thrusting.

  “Faster, harder, please, Tate,” I growled in his ear in desperation. Immediately he lifted my hips, slamming deeper and harder into me, hitting every wall of my sex, his thrusts fast and aggressive.

  I never thought this kind of sex existed. This wasn’t making love; this was need and this was absolute unrelenting fucking. Every inch of my body was tingling from the way he moaned with every thrust, the way he whispered my name over and over again, the way his lips were so tender but then without a second thought he would bite my skin. This was complete mind-blowing out-of-body sex.

  Growling into my ear, he murmured, “Fuck, Savannah, I am so close.”

  I felt him tense within me and my walls tightened around him. I lost my breath as my orgasm erupted over and over again. Everything around me went silent while my body was clenching, pulsing and thrusting. I felt him unload all he was inside me and he crashed his lips on mine as he did. At this moment nothing else mattered.

  Chapter Twenty

  Just as quickly as he had entered the bathroom, Tate left without a word. My body was still shuddering with the intensity of his touch. There was nothing romantic, sensual or friendly about what we had done. It was a hard, intense and desperate moment. I washed my hair and body quickly, while trying to regain my breath. My mind attempted to dissect what had just happened. Every time I ran the loofah over my skin, my body reacted. He wasn’t even here and my body was ready for him.

  I dressed into my favorite sweats and tank top before hastily running a comb through my long hair. Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, I smiled. I was happy. I sighed in bliss as my body ached in all the right places and I realized that my heart was finally thawing to what Tate gave me. I bit my lip in excited anticipation.

  I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the uncertain darkness of the hallway in search of Tate. I gasped in the darkness as strong hands enclosed around my waist. I was pushed hard but carefully against the wall, my deep intake of breath heard throughout the still air. The faded sunlight pulsed through the windows, allowing me to see Tate’s perfect features and no matter how many times I looked at his face, it still made my breath catch.

  Tate’s hands ran to my face, his fingertips brushing my lips, swollen and tender from his mouth attacking mine minutes earlier. I closed my eyes under his touch, enjoying the closeness of his body, enjoying the feeling sweeping through my tense body.r />
  “Hey,” he whispered as he tucked a piece of my wet hair behind my ear while his eyes scanned every inch of my face. I smiled under his touch and leaned my face into his hand before turning my face to softly kiss his palm.

  “You are perfect, Savannah Rae,” he purred into my ear, his breath on my skin causing a pleasurable shiver to run down my spine.

  “And you are something else, Tate Connors.” I watched his lips curl into a smile at the sound of my words.

  He pulled his hand away from my face before pushing me harder against the wall. I breathed in his scent, a delightful mixture of vanilla body wash and the distinct scent of Tate, which set my body racing. His mouth crashed onto mine, pushing his tongue against my lips, immediately. Kissing him like this was one of my most favorite things. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to my body and deepening our kiss. A passion ignited between us and I felt him smile against my mouth, he was happy and I was at the point of no turning back. Grinding my hips into his, I felt his bulge against my hip. Pulling away from me suddenly, I groaned and attempted to pull him back. Tapping his finger on the tip of my nose, he smirked in the sexy way only he could.

  “Let’s eat and then I am taking you to bed. I can’t guarantee sleep, but I can definitely guarantee mind-blowing sex.” He winked as he grabbed my hand and led me down the hallway toward the kitchen as my insides squeezed at the thought of the night ahead.

  I floated into the lit-up kitchen, the soft sounds of Adele filtering in from the living room. My stomach growled at the smell of pizza lingering in the air. I couldn’t help but laugh as I pulled out the stool opposite Tate.

  I leaned on my elbows, face in my hands as I raised my eyebrows. “I thought you were going to sweep me off my feet with your amazing culinary skills. This is disappointing, Mr. Connors.” Picking up a piece of pizza out of the box, my mouth began watering at the pepperoni goodness in my hand. How did he know pepperoni was my favorite pizza?

  “Well, it was either cook you dinner or fuck you in the shower. It was a hard decision to make.” I shook my head knowing my cheeks were now a deep crimson.

  Picking the pepperoni off his pizza, his laugh was infectious. “I love how I can make you blush. I never thought you’d be the girl to get embarrassed.”

  “I don’t usually get embarrassed. Believe me, nothing about sex embarrasses me, but with you it’s different. I can’t even say ‘cock’ in front of you without feeling myself blush.”

  “I’ll have to keep that in mind. I’ll refuse you sex one day and force you to tell me everything you want me to do to you.”

  I glared at him from across the kitchen island. “You wouldn’t dare!” I shrieked. “I’m telling you, it’s the damn Tate Connors Effect.”

  His laughter roared again, which only caused me to giggle uncontrollably. Our eyes were firmly locked on each other while we ate our pizza in silence and I had to restrain myself from jumping off my stool and devouring him. If he could make eating pizza look sexy, what hope was there for me?

  His brows furrowed as he watched me. “What are you thinking?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked between bites of pizza, silently cursing myself.

  “Your face just dropped, I know that look, I’ve seen that look before. Talk to me.” He spun me around on my stool and delicately placed a finger under my chin, forcing me look at him. His eyes searched mine for answers on what was currently swimming around in my head. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his waist, my chin resting on his stomach as I looked up at him.

  “Really it’s nothing. I’m just being stupid.”

  “I’m scared too, Sav, more scared than you realize. But what I know is that I have feelings for you that I honestly can say I’ve never felt for anyone before. You frustrate the hell out of me, but that’s what pulls me in. I have wanted this from day one but because I’m an asshole, I did everything in my power to fuck it up but we can do this. This needs to happen.”

  Kissing the tip of my nose, my smile was weak but sincere. He pulled out the stool beside me and sat down, eating the pizza crust I had left on my plate.

  “You wear a man out, Savannah. I’m stealing your crust, that’s how hungry I am.” He winked at me before stealing the slice of pizza out of my hand and engulfing it in two bites.

  I looked at him in amusement and it was then that I realized how much I was overreacting. He had plenty of time to flee; it wasn’t like this was something that just landed in our laps. Whatever this was had been simmering for weeks, and tonight it had boiled over. The thing that I had to make sure was that I didn’t sabotage it.

  “I’m into this, Sav. I am into you and this isn’t just a weekend fling to me. You are my girl and now that I’ve got you, I’m certainly not letting you go.”

  Tate Connors, the Los Angeles womanizer, the commitment-phobe, the man who had his heart completely broken and shattered, was standing here in front of me acting like he wanted a future with me.

  And that’s the moment my heart almost exploded right out of my chest.

  I looked out the seventh floor window and sighed at the rain that was coming down hard and fast. Wasn’t it always meant to be sunny in California?

  “I leave for New York tomorrow.” He pouted at me as I laid my head in his lap and his fingers started weaving through my hair.

  Ahh, New York. I had tried so desperately to forget. He was flying to New York to finalize details for Red Velvet NY and would be away for three long weeks. It would be just my luck that the day I finally get the guy, he has to leave for three weeks. Just my luck.

  “You could stay here,” I proposed and looked up from his lap and did my best puppy-dog eyes.

  “I wish I could. What do you think of phone sex?” he asked suggestively.

  I smacked him on the leg and turned toward the television but silently I knew that I would do whatever he wanted.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Can I tell you about my family?” he spoke softly as the credits of the movie rolled on the television. I turned my head in his lap to look up at him and found his eyes looking sullen and pained.

  “My dad left when Tanzi and I were two years old and I haven’t seen him since. Mom doesn’t say much. It tears me apart that this man left Mom and his two kids, while he is somewhere out there living his fucking perfect life. Ali’s dad, my Uncle Trevor, has been the closest thing I’ve had to a father. I think that’s why I’m so protective of Ali. I see her as my little sister and I feel forever in debt to Uncle Trevor.”

  “My mom is everything to me. She worked three jobs while Tanzi and I were growing up and she never said a bad word about our father. Even when I hated him, when I spoke about him in the worst way possible, she never said a bad word. She is the strongest, most beautiful woman in this world. If I can make her life happy, that will be my most precious accomplishment.”

  The way he spoke of his mother and the love he had for Tanzi was one of the reasons why this man had started thawing my ice-cold heart. The façade he put up to everyone was so far from the person I was with at the moment.

  Grabbing his hand that was resting on my stomach I entwined my fingers with his to offer comfort. I could only whisper. “I can’t wait to meet your mom. She sounds like such an amazing woman.”

  “Tell me about your family,” he prompted.

  “My parents died in a car accident when I was ten years old. They were my absolute world and I was Daddy’s little girl. They were amazing, perfect in every way. I am so thankful I still have so many memories of them. Dad would take me to the beach every day, and Mum would let me help her bake cookies. They loved me. I felt like my heart shattered the day they died and I’ve never recovered. I went into a shell. I didn’t speak of losing them and when I moved in with my grandmother she saw me as a constant reminder of my mum, which provided a hostile home. I moved out when I was eighteen. Mr. Davenport is the only family I have.”

  “How’d Simon come into all this?” I smiled as Tate used Mr.
Davenport’s first name.

  “He was Dad’s best friend from high school and he has been around all my life. He’s the only stability in my life, and as soon as Dad and Mum died he stepped into the role of substitute dad, crazy uncle and annoying big brother. When Corey died, Mr. Davenport knew he had to take care of me, so he took me to the city and got me the job at Beautify. He saved my life. We have a weird relationship. We annoy the shit out of each other and I frustrate him to tears, but he loves me and I love him.”

  The smile on Tate’s face warmed my heart.

  “So what I have learned today is that we are as screwed up as each other?” He grinned lovingly and leant down to place a soft kiss on my lips.

  He was right, both of us had gone to hell and back in our short lives and somehow we had been thrown to each other to either sink or swim in the craziness that was Savannah and Tate. Maybe in some weird and wonderful universe we were meant to be right here, right at this moment, together, in an us-verses-the-universe scenario.

  “Can we go to bed?” I murmured from his lap. He didn’t even respond. He had me in his arms and was carrying me to his bedroom like a man on a mission. Thank god Tanzi was staying at Jack’s for the weekend because she would be seeing things that a sister shouldn’t see of her brother.

  I was on the bed in record time. Crawling up over me, his eyes burned into mine before he buried his face in the crook of my neck. His lips kissed every inch of my skin, instantly causing goose bumps to cover of my body. I closed my eyes tightly and arched my back as his lips moved to my collarbone while his hands took off my tank. I writhed under his touch, my body responding with electrifying intensity, needing, craving, wanting to be closer to him while my breath increased by the second. Pulling his lips away from my tingling skin, he looked over my face with an earth-shattering smile. In this moment, absolutely nothing else mattered. I couldn’t help but smile back.