Laura's Secrets

by Shannon Greenland

  The doctor didn't seem particularly sympathetic to Jane's plight and in fact looked bored. He said a few things to her. Aunt Jane responded with the same pleading body language. He said a few more things to her, and then Jane started getting prickly. Laura recognized the telltale signs of her aunt losing her patience: the clamped jaw, speaking by moving only her lips, beady eyes narrowed.

  The young doctor closed his eyes and seemed to be counting to ten. Laura grimaced. She knew all to well what he was going through. He opened his eyes and glanced across the waiting room at her. Then he turned back to Aunt Jane and shook his head no.

  Her chest puffed up like she was about to bellow obscenities. Instead, she balled up her hanky, crammed it in her purse, and charged back across the waiting room. Automatically, Laura scooted back in her chair as she watched her aunt storm toward her. Jane grabbed her by the arm, jerked her to her feet, and continued right on out the exit door, dragging her niece behind her

  Laura glanced over her shoulder at the doctor and sent him an apologetic smile. He had a concentrated frown on his face as he watched them leave.

  The exit door closed behind them, leaving them in the ambulance zone. Aunt Jane mumbled something about going to every hospital in the surrounding counties until someone did what she wanted.

  The exit door opened again, and the doctor shot through it. “Wait,” he called out, jogging toward them.

  Jane pondered him with a haughty lift of the chin. “What do you want, Doctor?"

  He looked at Laura, then back at Jane. “Come on back inside. I can help you out."

  Aunt Jane gave him an imperious nod and followed him back inside the emergency room. Laura started toward the waiting area, expecting her aunt to go with him through the admitting doors, but Aunt Jane grabbed her arm and pulled her along.

  When they got to the admitting doors, the doctor stopped and held up his hand to Jane. “She comes the rest of the way alone."

  More confused now than before, Laura stared at the young doctor. Why was she going with him? She wasn't sick or hurt.

  "Very well. I'm sure there's some paperwork I need to fill out.” Aunt Jane reached up. Laura instinctively flinched. Her aunt let out an annoyed sigh, then awkwardly patted her niece's head. “Go on with the doctor. Everything will be alright."

  The doctor led Laura through the admittance doors, passed a few examining tables, pulled back a curtain, and motioned her to sit. Laura stiffly climbed up on top the table while the doctor rolled a chair over for himself.

  Extending his hand, he gave her a sunny smile. “Hi, Laura. I'm Doctor Brock."

  Laura shook his hand, knowing full well hers was cold and clammy from nerves. He must have noticed because he rubbed her hand between both of his dryer, warmer ones.

  "Don't be nervous. I'm going to take good care of you.” He released her hand. “Do you know why you're here?"

  She tried to use her voice, but ended up shaking her head instead.

  "Your aunt wants us to make sure you're not pregnant."

  "What?” Laura croaked. “Why? I didn't do anything wrong. I went for an ice cream with Bizzy, that's all. I promise."

  The doctor nodded his head. “I know, sweetie. But she still wants us to do a pelvic exam on you."

  A pelvic exam? God, how humiliating. “Can't you do a urine test for pregnancy?” she mumbled.

  "Yes, we can. But she also wants assurance that you're still a virgin."

  Squeezing her eyes shut, Laura fought back a wave of nausea. “I am a virgin,” she whispered. “I've never even kissed a boy.” She opened her eyes. “I promise. Please don't do this."

  Reaching over, he laid an assuring hand over her tightly clasped ones. “I don't want to do this, but if you don't let me perform this exam, she'll drag you all over this state until someone does."

  Staring into his compassionate eyes, Laura knew she would have to do this. There were no other choices. No one to call, nowhere to run, Bizzy certainly couldn't help her. Laura took a deep breath, straightened her spine, tried to clear her mind, then delivered in her best brave voice, “Tell me what to do."

  The doctor squeezed her hand. “Good girl. I'm going to leave and get a nurse. You take off your clothes and put on that gown behind you. You can leave your bra on, though.” He gave her a bolstering look. “We'll do this as quick as possible, okay?"

  Laura nodded. He pulled the curtain back and disappeared. She slid off the table and quickly changed clothes. Outside she heard whispers.

  "This is the biggest crock of crap I've seen,” the doctor spoke furiously, his voice muffled by the curtain. “Her aunt says she's some kind of wild child, skipping school and running around. I'm here to tell you that beautiful little girl in there is about as sweet as they come. I'm so angry I could smash my fist into something, preferably that aunt of hers."

  "Well, did you tell her aunt this is an emergency room, not a family clinic,” a woman whispered back.

  "Hell yeah, I told her that. I refused to help her. But she swore up and down she'd drag that poor kid around all night until someone did the exam."

  Laura heard the woman heave a sigh. “Is she her legal guardian?"

  "Yes. Now listen, we're going to take as long as needed to make this girl feel comfortable, okay?"

  "Okay."

  Laura climbed on top the table. A few seconds later the doctor pulled the curtain back and stepped inside. “Laura, this is nurse Donna. She's going to be assisting me with the exam."

  Clutching her gown, Laura stared at the large, happy looking woman.

  Nurse Donna patted her leg. “Hi, Laura. I don't want you to worry about anything. You've got the best doctor and nurse team in the whole county examining you."

  "Okay, I have few quick questions before we get started.” Doctor Brock flipped back the top of his chart. “When was your last period?"

  Laura switched her gaze to her lap. No one had ever asked her such a personal question. “Two weeks ago,” she answered.

  "What method of birth control do you use?"

  "Nothing."

  "Are you sexually active."

  "No."

  "Are you allergic to anything?"

  "I don't think so."

  "Okay, that's done with.” He laid the clipboard aside. “Laura, have you ever had a pelvic exam before?"

  "No."

  "Let me tell you what we're going to do. First off, you're going to scoot your bottom all the way to the end of the table and put your feet in these stirrups. Then you're going to lie back and spread your legs.” Her face caught on fire. “Now don't worry about that part,” he interjected quickly. “We'll put a sheet over you and cover you completely. I'm going to insert this device,” he held up some silver thing that looked like a medieval torturing tool, “into your vagina and open it up a little."

  "It's not painful,” Nurse Donna added. “You'll feel a little pressure, that's all."

  Dr. Brock clicked his pen and slid it into his chest pocket. “Alright, that's it. Any questions?"

  Laura shook her head.

  "Laura, look at me please,” the doctor requested quietly.

  She raised her eyes to his.

  "We're going to do this as quick as possible. There's no need to be embarrassed. Nurse Donna and I have performed many of these exams over the years."

  Laura appreciated his attempt at reassuring her, but just wanted to get the whole thing over with.

  Doctor Brock pulled out a sheet and laid it across her legs. “Go ahead and scoot down, put your feet in the stirrups, and lie back.” He remained standing while the nurse helped Laura get in the right position. “Now I'm going to take a seat and pull the sheet back a little."

  Laura's legs started to tremble.

  "I'm going to put my hand on your knee first so you can get used to my touch."

  She jumped when he touched her knee.

  "Now I'm going to touch your inner thigh."

  She didn't jump that time, thank God.

 
; "Now I'm going to insert that silver tool I showed you and open you up a little."

  Humiliated, Laura closed her eyes and turned her face away from where the nurse stood. She concentrated on the future and what her life would be like away from Aunt Jane. Laura imagined being an adult and sharing an apartment with Bizzy.

  "All done.” The doctor lowered the sheet and stood. “Did I hurt you?"

  Laura opened her eyes and cleared her throat. “No."

  "Thank you, nurse Donna. I'd like to have a private moment with Laura, please.” The nurse walked from the examining room as he helped Laura sit up. “I need to ask you something, and it is imperative that you tell me the truth.” He waited until Laura looked him in the eyes. “Does your aunt abuse you?"

  Frozen and empty inside, Laura held steady for a long time, but didn't answer. What did she say to a question like that? Where would she be sent if people discovered her aunt's cruelty? Foster care, a home? Laura had no family, no alternatives.

  Finally, Doctor Brock sighed and reached inside his pocket. “I'm going to do something that I've never done before.” He pulled out a business card and wrote on the back of it. “This is my home number. If you need any help at all, with anything, I want you to call me, night or day, no questions asked.” He handed her the card. “Put that in a special place where no one can find it but you."

  Laura looked at the card in her hand, then back up at the doctor. “Thank you."

  His lips curved into a slight smile. “You're welcome.” He lifted the curtain to leave. “When you get dressed, come on out to the nurse's station, and I'll walk you out."

  Laura changed clothes and tucked his card into her sock. She emerged from the examining room. All the nurses looked up at her with matching, pitying expressions. She hated that. Doctor Brock walked toward her, a warm smile on his face, and led her out to the waiting room. Aunt Jane stood the minute she saw them.

  Doctor Brock handed her a file. “Here's the report you requested."

  Jane yanked it from his fingers and quickly scanned it. She slammed her hand over her heart in a dramatic gesture. “Oh, thank God,” she breathed.

  The doctor's upper lip twitched in disgust. “I think it is despicable what you put your niece through."

  Aunt Jane pierced him with a sharp glare. "Well, thank you doctor for your professional opinion. I'll take my niece home now."

  Fluttering her eyelids open, Laura stared at the shadowed ceiling, orienting herself. She was lying on her back, in a bed, in a hotel room ... no, not a room, a suite. Will's suite to be exact, she'd won the pool hall bet.

  A chill ran through her body, and she realized the bed covers sat in a heaped pile on the floor. She must have kicked them off during the dream.

  Her knees were bent, spread wide in a pelvic exam position. Groggily, she closed them, then swung her legs over the side of the bed and grabbed her rabbit's foot from the nightstand. She sat staring at the Seattle skyline.

  Doctor Brock. Someone she hadn't thought about in a long time. She'd called him, the night she ran away from home, almost a year after he'd examined her. He vowed he would help her, no questions asked, and true to his word, he had. He met her at a gas station with an envelope of money. He didn't want it paid back, but Laura had repaid him with interest.

  Will's suite, correction, her suite, had a spectacular view of Seattle. For two in the morning, the city seemed to sparkle and bustle with activity.

  Sliding off the bed, Laura put her rabbit's foot down, and padded into the kitchenette to rummage through the cabinets. She found some crackers and cheese, a bag of macadamia nut cookies, and espresso ground coffee.

  Knowing she'd be awake the rest of the night, she started the coffee brewing, then meandered through the archway into the living room. She flicked on the television and scanned the channels, hoping to find a Bogie movie.

  When the phone rang, she nearly jumped a foot in the air. At such a late hour, a wrong number probably, but she answered it anyway. “Hello?"

  "Hey, you sound awake,” Will mumbled in a voice made gravely by sleep.

  She smiled. “I am awake."

  "Everything okay?"

  "Yeah. I've got the munchies and a craving for a late night movie. How did you know I was up?"

  "I'm not sure. I woke up a few minutes ago and felt that maybe you were awake, too. Strange, huh?"

  "Yeah.” She listened to him rustling the sheets of his bed and imagined him straightening the covers.

  "You gonna go back to sleep?” He sounded more awake now.

  "Probably not. I'm not really tired."

  "Want me to come over and keep you company?"

  Her stomach did a slow roll. “Are you sure? Sleep's more important."

  He chuckled. “I'll be there in five."

  Laura hung up the phone and rushed into the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face, swished mouthwash around in her mouth, then finger combed some flyaway hairs. She hurried into the bedroom, yanked off her boxers, pulled on a pair of long pajama bottoms.

  A knock sounded at her door.

  She opened it. He closed his eyes and with a silly grin, inhaled. “I smell coffee. You read my mind."

  Would this man never seem unattractive to her? Even in sweatpants, a T-shirt, and regular old athletic socks, he was the sexiest man in the world. “I've got lots of food, too. You hungry?"

  "I could munch.” He followed her in and shut the door.

  "How do you take your coffee?"

  "Cream.” Will pulled a stool from the island that separated the kitchen and hopped up. He reached for a cookie.

  Laura handed him a mug. “What are you smiling at?"

  "You. It's fun watching you putter around the kitchen making something for me."

  "Making coffee's no big deal. I'll make you dinner sometime. You'll really be impressed then."

  "I'd like that,” he said and held her gaze until she glanced away.

  She cleared her throat and turned out the kitchen light, then walked into the living room with a plate of crackers and cheese. “You ready to watch a movie?"

  "Yep.” Will grabbed the bowl of cookies and jumped down off his stool.

  Laura sat the food down on the coffee table and curled into a corner of the couch. She folded her legs under and propped a pillow beneath her arm. Will snatched a blanket that had been tossed over an easy chair and took the other corner of the couch. After getting settled, he grabbed some crackers and munched.

  The television provided the only light. Its flickering cast odd shadows across the walls and furniture. Laura kept her attention fixed to the TV set, but knew Will's was glued to her.

  "Tell me about the dream."

  She glanced over at him. “How did you know I had one?"

  "Messy bed, late night. I put two and two together."

  She studied Will, really studied him, the man, not the rock star image he portrayed. His outward appearance appealed to her, yes, but his heart attracted her the most. He offered it in such an open, honest way that it staggered and humbled her. She wanted to be that open with him, unconditionally.

  Will pulled his blanket aside. “Come ‘ere."

  Laura hesitated.

  "Talking. That's all we're going to do, lay here and talk.” He gave her a tender smile and beckoned her with his head.

  She put her coffee down and crawled across the couch, positioned her body beside his.

  He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. “You're all toasty warm."

  Relaxing a little, Laura rested her head and hand on his chest. Will pulled the blanket around the two of them and tucked it in tight. She let out a soft breath, relishing the content, warm, safe feeling of his arms cradling her.

  He reached up, ran his fingers along her forehead and through the hair on the crown of her head. “Tell me about it."

  Laura closed her eyes and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. He ran the pads of his fingers up and down her arm in long, soft strokes. A few minutes l
ater, she told him about the dream.

  When she finished, he said nothing. He'd stopped stroking her arm, though, and in fact had tightened his hold so much that her ribs hurt.

  "You're hugging me too tight,” she wheezed.

  Will loosened his grip, but said nothing. Minutes ticked by. Still, he said nothing. What was he thinking? She wanted to ask, but didn't.

  She started to pull away, and he tightened his arms. “Don't get up. Please. Stay beside me and let me hold you."

  Laura gazed into his eyes, and odd enough, she saw pain there, coupled with a need for comfort. She reached out and touched her fingers to his cheek. The first time she ever voluntarily, affectionately touched anyone in her life.

  They stayed in that position, her eyes holding steady to his ebony ones. Time suspended as their souls communicated mutual hope. And then she ran her thumb over his stubble.

  Ten

  ~

  The sun slipped through the balcony's blinds, flicking rays across Will's lids. He slit open his eyes and absorbed the beauty of a dawning, Seattle morning. Laura lay in his arms, or more like half-on, half-off him, with one leg and hand thrown over his body. The combination of her softness, weight, and warmth felt incredible. Wonderful. Awe-inspiring. They'd fallen asleep wrapped around each other, lulled by the rhythm of their hearts and slow, steady breaths.

  He raised his head and peeked down at her face still nestled into his chest. She was sound asleep. Good. She needed it. He placed his nose on the crown of her head and inhaled ... ah, uniquely Laura.

  The television played morning cartoons. They must have fallen asleep with it still on. Their coffee cups, cookies, crackers, and cheese remained on the coffee table, with the cheddar looking a little oily and suspicious.

  Careful not to wake her, Will reached up and rubbed his eyes. A pen and pad of hotel stationary sitting on the coffee table caught his eye. He stretched his fingers, snagged the corner of the paper, slid it closer, and began scribbling some lyrics that had popped into his mind the night before.

  Some time later Laura stirred and nuzzled her head into his chest. She could do that all day as far as he was concerned. His stomach growled.

  "Morning,” she mumbled in response.