Self Apocalypse: The Beginning

by John French

  The city and all my sorrowful feelings soon faded into the rear mirror as I drove away. Once again I was already starting to feel life travel through my veins. Going to camp always did that for me. The ride was a long one as I took my time and enjoyed the ride. I was making it a point to slow down, and enjoy what I had and what was around me. If I didn’t I knew there would be no hope or happiness. The only bad part of the ride was the radio. The stations were few now, and not because of reception. Like most other businesses the airwaves were diminishing. There was now a new voice calling in the air. A government owned broadcast for emergencies and up to date information on where to find help if needed. Of course everybody needed it. They regularly listed places where bread was being distributed, and on a good day there was also cheese or peanut butter. What had the world come to? I laughed as I remembered the day they handed out peanut butter and even jelly at a local strip mall, but no bread was to be found. People thought it as a cruel mockery by the local government, but it was soon discovered that the truck carrying the bread had been heisted. Can you believe that? A bread robbery. Yeah, I was definitely done with the city life which was congested more with its selfish tyranny than its traffic. But like I was saying, those memories and images were now fading behind my wheels.

  Soon I was back in that same ghost town I had left behind in the fall. I noticed the gas prices were considerably higher here than in the city I had abandoned. I didn’t plan on that, but I wouldn’t be doing much traveling either. I stopped into the diner before filling my tank and gas cans only to find that the doors were permanently locked. Economic fate had finally ended the diner, and my hopes of visiting my favorite waitress. Only seemed fitting that tragedy should befall me before I had a chance to even get to know her. She had just finally told me her name too. Oh well, I was sure chance would find me in her presence again sometime around town. Anslee. I liked the sound of it, and the name fit her too.

  At the pumps I got talking to the owner of the gas station. It was a small family owned garage with two pumps and a small service bay. Business wasn’t flourishing, but he was able to stay alive by trading mechanical services for goods. Not a bad idea. He was telling me how most people in town were trading now as food and clothing were worth their weight in silver. I kept our conversation at the top of my thoughts as I traveled that lonely road to camp. My money would definitely be welcomed in town, but any labor I could perform, any goods for trade, and the gold and silver I kept secretly on hand would be worth more than the green dollar I had.

  Sunlight reflected on the river’s surface like diamonds as I crested the hill above the small valley that harbored my camp. Again the grass was overgrown and would need immediate attention. As I pulled in I noticed the scarecrow was still standing jingling his cans. I set right out to unpacking and opening up the camper to air it out. I looked around to make sure no one had come up and taken any materials. Luckily it was all still there. Not a soul was present up here last summer, so I was quite sure I would be alone for most my stay, if not the entire time. Better off that way I thought, especially the way things were. I was pretty sure it wasn’t as bad as where I had just come from, but I wasn’t about to take any unnecessary risks. Keeping the camp safe and secure would be my number one priority for now on. My survival depended on it.

  I cleared out the area around where I was going to build the shed, then cut the grass around the camp. I only cut away a modest amount for now so I could begin right away on the shed. By the end of the day I had the floor down, and shed framed. I had just finished sheathing the roof when I realized it was getting dark. I quickly got a fire started, and put away the tools for tomorrow. I would be able to store items in the shed tomorrow night, but for now my provisions would have to be kept in the cab of the truck and camper. I figured it would take me about three days to build the raised shed, so I was going to store my provisions in the ground shed until it was finished.

  The camper was tight that night with much of its free space devoted to gear and food. Only the crickets and peepers outside filled the silence outside. An occasional coyote could be heard in the distance followed by another distant reply. It felt strange not hearing traffic. I was used to the silence at camp, but I wasn’t use to the silence for more than a week. This was going to be a truly sobering experience. Already tired of the silence I turned on the new radio I had bought. It was a dual energy radio running off either double A batteries or by winding it up. Winding it wasn’t so bad. It took about one minute and the radio would play for about a half an hour. That’s what I was doing tonight in order to get use to it. I figured I had better reserve the batteries as much as possible. I had decided only to use the flashlights in extreme circumstances to help reserve the batteries also. I was off the grid, and was going to live as such. I had to come up with an idea to store meats too as refrigeration wasn’t going to be an option. I was using the one in the camper now because it ran off the propane, but I was definitely going to want to conserve that for heat in the winter. The heat was another factor I really hadn’t worked out yet either. I was going to have to get on that very soon if I didn’t want to turn into an ice cube this winter.

  I decided to rekindle the fire a bit and brew a pot of coffee for the night. After the coffee was done, I went inside and enjoyed a long game of solitaire while listening to the radio. No news tonight, just music. I had had enough of the world’s problems and didn’t care to listen to it this evening. Soon the day’s labor got the better of me and I blew out the candle and crawled into bed falling into a deep sleep.

  I woke up to a loud crashing sound outside. I jumped out of bed and grabbed one of the flashlights. The light beamed out through the door as I scanned the area. I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw the large black form of a bear slinking into the tree line. I guess my neighbor was coming by to say hi. I took a look at my watch. It was only four thirty in the morning, but I was wide awake now so I got dressed. I went out and scanned the area once more before starting the morning fire. I had cut a good supply of wood last year, but was using deadfall branches I collected in the woods as much as possible. I figured my fires didn’t burn long, and I wanted to conserve as much wood as I could for any circumstances in which I couldn’t get out to get wood. Soon the fire was crackling and its warmth felt good. A pot of coffee came next followed by some eggs and toast. I sat by the fire eating my breakfast and listening to the river. The night’s sky was beginning to turn blue now. This was going to be my first morning at camp, and I was lucky enough to be up in time to enjoy the sunrise. I just sat back with my coffee after breakfast, and waited patiently for the sun to arrive. I was determined to relax and enjoy this moment before I set out to finish the shed.

  The sky went through its color phases from blue to different shades of red, then back to blue as the sun climbed into the sky. As I viewed the entire process, I realized how lucky I was to be alive and that there was still hope on the horizon. I let the fire burn down, and then cleaned up around the pit. I was staring at the river while finishing up my last cup of coffee, and fighting hard to push off the urge to fish. After all this wasn’t a vacation. This was my new home now, and I had too much work to do. I chose to wait until the shed was done, then I’d celebrate with an hour of fishing.

  The day was a long one and ended with the posts for the raised shed being set in place. I crammed as much of the gear and provisions as humanly possible into main shed, and set out for a short hike before dusk. I made it a point to carry the rifle around now, and a large can of bear spray. I wasn’t too worried about anything actually happening, but if something did I was going to be sure I was prepared. I walked up the road that led further into the mountains. I was kind of surprised that no one else had set up camp along this road. I guess it was too remote. I liked it that way though, and enjoyed the solitude out here. You could tell this part of the road hadn’t been maintained in a long time. It was starting to look more like a trail, and the forest seemed to be taking back its former ground. Ther
e use to be a bridge that crossed the river connecting this part, but it washed out the last year I had stayed here with my father. Even then I don’t think people had traveled this part in years. The road led up to a rocky hilltop before descending into another valley. I walked out to a spot on the hill overlooking some nearby mountain peaks. Something near the summit of one of the peaks caught my eye. It looked like part of a structure hidden in the pines. Too bad I didn’t have the binoculars with me. Guess I should carry those for now on too when I leave the camp. Knowing I had two or more years on my hands to come back, I turned around and headed back for the camp.

  It was almost too dark to see when I got back to the river. Crossing the river in the dark, I also decided to carry a flashlight as well when went for hikes. I should have known better anyway. I’ll just be carrying a day pack for now on. I was in the mountains, and you never know when you might end up not making it back to camp. I didn’t have a coffee that night or a fire. I just laid down in the camper and listened to the radio. It had only been two days and already I was missing my TV. I had never missed it while here before, so I was trying to figure out why it was haunting me now. Probably because I knew I wasn’t going to have one at all while I was living here. Funny how we become so dependent on the luxuries surrounding us. They actually become needs rather than wants. Part of this chapter in my life was going to have to be re-evaluating my lifestyle and those things that were really important in life. Well, at least I had a radio. That would be my social connection at camp.

  As the days rolled by turning into weeks, spring finally gave way to the summer heat. Refrigeration was a serious issue now, and something I could concentrate on with the completion of the raised shed. I had planted a small garden that was now beginning to come forth from the ground. I couldn’t wait until I was able to reap the benefits from it. It had been a long time since I had planted one, and was shocked that the plants were actually growing. I have to admit, it was a very satisfying feeling knowing I was accomplishing so much on my own. I now had no doubt that I was going to make it. I just needed to conquer the refrigeration issue and devise a plan for the most efficient way to heat the camper this winter.

  The loneliness was beginning to set in a bit. I guess that was going to be another issue that I was just going to have to deal with. For now though I could take a ride into town for some supplies and take advantage of talking with someone. I made a short list of items I wanted and took off down the road in the truck. As I drove into town I started to realize just how secluded I was. I also started to think about mobility in the winter time. They didn’t plow these roads, so I was going to have to think of something if I wanted to get into town in the winter months. Otherwise I would truly be a hermit. I remembered seeing a place on the outskirts of town that sold snowmobiles and other recreational vehicles. Maybe stopping in to do some price shopping wouldn’t be a bad idea. My planned budget didn’t include vehicles, so I was going to have to be very careful. Already I could see myself running short on cash from unforeseen needs.

  It wasn’t so much of a ghost town today. People were out and about, and the overall mood seemed to be a good one. After walking around town to pick up supplies I found out that most everyone was jobless, and just walking around to avoid going nuts. It was nice to see a place where the folks kept a good look on things, and continued their life despite the great odds. Unlike in the city where everyone had been preying off one another. The people here seemed to actually be helping each other. I guess that’s what happens in a small town when everyone knows each other. Word spreads fast in a small town too. I had many people saying hi to me, and ask if I was the fellow living in the mountains like a mountain man. I always thought people would think I was crazy, but the folks in town actually admired my conviction.

  In the center of town I found a chalk board displayed at the park. The park was more of a small lawn shaded by scattered oaks for events. The board was large, and was probably from one of the classrooms in the local school. It was littered with advertisements from locals looking to trade or do business. As I was reading I noticed one in particular that stood out to me. There was a farm nearby that was selling and trading items from their barn. I decided to take a ride up to see what they had on hand. Maybe I would find something to help out at the camp.

  The farm was just a short drive out of town, and stood on a hill overlooking some of the largest fields I had ever seen. They had plenty of livestock roaming about the property. I was hoping they sold beef locally, as I was in need of some meat. I parked the truck in front of the large red barn and got out. The barn doors were opened wide, and you could see it was full of stuff. I mean stuff. It looked like they had been collecting things for generations. It would have been the antique gold mine of dreams if the market was stable. I entered and had a look around. Everything was very organized and easy to view. It was like walking through a consignment shop the size of a department store.

  “Can I help you?” A voice called out from the doorway where I had just entered.

  “Yeah, I saw your ad on the board in town, and just wanted to take a look at what you had.” I couldn’t see him too well with the sunlight to his back, but I could tell he was one of the old timers in town. As he walked up to me I could see he was wearing tattered overalls and work boots. Yep, this was definitely a working farm. I stepped forward and extended my hand. “I’m Jeremiah. I just moved to the area this spring.”

  “You must be the man living in the mountains I heard about in town.” He grasped my hand shaking it firmly. For an older guy he was strong. I mean like an ox. I think he could have cracked my hand like a walnut if he wanted to. Guess that was from a life on the farm.

  “That’s me.”, I started to say recovering my hand from his vise grip. “I was hoping you might have some things I could use.”

  A smile raced from ear to ear on his face. “So you’re livin’ in the hills, and your name is Jeremiah?”

  Right away I knew where he was going with this. It was kind of ironic mixed with some humor, and already I could see the jokes circulating in town.

  “Yeah”, I chuckled a bit, “but my last name’s not Johnson.” I must have hit it right on the nose, because he started laughing up a storm.

  “Well, what kind things are you looking for?”

  “Anything to help around my camp really. I need to figure a way to wash my clothing better than the bucket and hand method. I was also wondering if you sold any beef or other food here too.”

  “I can definitely help you young man. As a matter of fact I have a washboard in the back, and some metal wash tubs. I think that’ll help you quite a bit. As for food I have a milking heard, but I do sell bottled milk and we have laying hens if you need eggs.”

  He guided me through the barn filled jungle to the back where he pulled out a washboard. “Here you go.” he said handing me the washboard. Then we walked back towards the front of the barn. “Right here.” he said. “These wash tubs are small, but plenty big to wash your clothes in.”

  It was perfect. Exactly what I needed. I bought one of the tubs, the washboard, a bottle of his “finest” milk, and some eggs. I thanked him for his help, and headed back into town. He had told me something that startled me a bit. I couldn’t help but think about it on the ride back. I had asked him how he was managing to make enough to pay taxes, and he said he didn’t. He hadn’t paid in over two years, but the town was not issuing liens. As a matter of fact the town no longer had officials. It couldn’t afford to pay anyone, not even a town clerk. The town’s people met once every month to run official business. This wasn’t the only town either. Things were getting real bad. There was no revenue anywhere, and it was so widespread that the state and federal government couldn’t do anything about it. It was like the entire country was floating on borrowed dollars. I began to wonder if the government would start demanding other things for revenue. I shook my head while picturing tax collectors demanding milk and eggs for collection of taxes. It was a funny
thought, but horrifying considering the truth hidden within.

  I decided to head back to camp and check on the snowmobile the following week. I enjoyed coming out today, and wanted an excuse to come back and socialize. When I got back I made sure to try my new washboard and tub. It wasn’t a washing machine, but it worked a hundred times better than washing clothes with my hands in a seven gallon pale. All in all things were beginning to really shape up and take form around the camp. I was becoming more confident in myself and my abilities with each day that passed by. The world around me was falling apart, but I was not going to succumb to its heavy blows. I may not have been in the best position of my life, but I was in a better position than most. And I was doing it on my own.

  Chapter Five

  Strength from Solitude

  “Be of good courage, and

  he shall strengthen your heart…”

  - Psalms 31:24

  As the summer continued, I found myself becoming more and more comfortable with my surroundings. My main job was the upkeep of the camp, and making sound preparations for the winter. Though things were going well, I couldn’t help but feel the growing presence of loneliness now lurking in my mind like a shadow. I had to preserve gas and also knew I couldn’t continue making trips into town when winter came. So I had to deal with this now before it took over and caused me to go mad. Keeping busy was the top priority in this fight. I had to make sure I was continuously doing something, and not sitting around pondering on being alone. Chores weren’t enough though. I had to try and have fun too. I never thought I’d say it, but fishing and swimming wasn’t enough. I decided to take more day trips into the mountains, and even go on a camping trip. Sounded funny as I was already camping, but maybe a more rugged experience is what I needed right now. There was that structure I had seen in the spring on one of my day hikes. I decided I would go and see if I had a distant neighbor. It was only a day’s hike away anyhow. Besides, if someone was living there, I would have a little more social interaction.