Self Apocalypse: The Beginning

by John French

  As I returned to reality I realized I had no idea what day it was. I hadn’t heard the date or day announced on the radio today, and didn’t even remember if I had in the last few days. I added a calendar to my list of needed supplies. That was one thing I just never even thought of picking up. I had never needed one before, but living out here had certain affects like not needing to know which day it was. So eventually you just stop keeping track altogether. I suppose it really wasn’t important though. It wasn’t like I had to be to work on Monday or anything like that.

  “Yeah, cross calendar off list.” I slowly crossed the calendar off my supply list.

  That was another thing I started to notice during these long winter months. I was beginning to talk out loud to myself or to no one at all! I was beginning to question my sanity, but came to the conclusion that I was fine. Of course, that was after having a debate with myself over the issue. I have to admit, if a third party had joined in I might have considered myself to be insane. I was doing very well overall though. I was a little worried about actually surviving the winter, but so far I had stood strong and had been ready for the test.

  I looked outside at the gray and overcastted afternoon. Seeing the possibility of more snow flying this evening, I decided to put off a trip to town until the next afternoon. If things were looking good tomorrow, I would definitely take a needed supply run to town. I spent some time cleaning the camper a little. I made sure I kept things stowed away and to not let any clutter or filth gain an inch. To do so would inevitably have given a pathway for depression to come running in. Just because I was alone and in the middle of the mountains didn’t mean I couldn’t keep things tidy and in proper order. Who knows, maybe the military might find me and drop by. I laughed at the mere thought of it or having company stop by at all. It seemed like such a crazy thought having a guest over.

  After laughing to myself, I gathered up my gear I was going to bring tomorrow and placed everything neatly together. I had enough of cleaning for now. It was time to listen to the radio and have a cup of hot water. The thought of coffee came to mind, so I decided right there to have hot soup for dinner and to also try and acquire more coffee in town. Hopefully the hot soup would help control the want for a good coffee. I think the main problem was drinking tasteless hot water so it should work.

  The next morning my coffee craze got of control. I put a temporary end to the rationing and ended up having two cups of coffee before heading out to town. I listened to the radio as I normally did while drinking my coffee. Things still sounded rather hopeful. Maybe this was going to be the turning point. Hopefully now that the government was on the move and restoring security to the nation, we could start standing again and fix this whole problem. I wasn’t crossing my fingers though. The government might be riding in on its horse to save us, but I was having a hard time envisioning just how they were going to accomplish that. I think the bottom line was that we were so far into the mud right now, that only we (that is the people) were going to be able to stabilize the country and the economy. It was just going to take time and a lot of it too.

  I took a good long glance out through the window. The sky looked great outside, not a hint of foul weather loomed on the horizon. I finished my second cup of coffee, and then proceeded to put on my snow gear. I was beginning to become excited about heading out on the trail today. I wondered how things were in town. I hadn’t been out that way in quite some time. Now that the winter would soon be coming to end, I thought it would be a good time to get away from camp.

  * * * * *

  Trees passed by steadily as I worked my way down the old logging road towards town. I found that I had to take it easy with my speed due to my lack of proper gear. I even had to stop occasionally to try and warm up a little. I was lucky I even had a helmet to keep shield my head from the cold air passing by. My jacket, gloves, and boots were adequate enough, but not having snow pants was a real damper. I did find that wearing long underwear and two pairs of pants helped tremendously, but the fabric wasn’t made to play around in the snow. More times than none my pants would eventually dampen, and after that they stayed wet. Turned out that the snowmobile was the best thing I could have gotten my hands on. None of the roads were plowed until you got to Main Street in town, and even then they were poorly maintained. There just weren’t enough resources available to keep up with Mother Nature. There were times when the people in town would actually clean the snow covered street with shovels.

  It wasn’t long before I started passing a few houses, the first sign of civilization. Smoke slowly rose from their chimney stacks, and vehicles rested in the driveways under heaps of snow. I was now following tracks from other sleds, so I wasn’t the only one traveling around in this fashion. The country back roads soon gave way to the side streets in town. I continued to follow the tracks in the snow that were now more prominent as I approached the main drag. Apparently people had given up on taking care of the snow, because I found Main Street covered in snow from at least the last two storms. Most the shops were closed and locked in by the snow. It was obvious that the majority of businesses in town had finally folded. I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to get any supplies at all. That started to worry me a little bit, and I could feel my stomach tighten up from the thought of it.

  I kept riding until I got to the department store. I was more than relieved to see other sleds parked there, and even some horse drawn sleds! I thought that cool, but I wondered how the horses faired in the deep snow. I parked my sled and carried my helmet with me as I entered the store. The lights were off and only lanterns lying on the floor illuminated the way. The store had been cleared out in the front, and tables were displayed with inventory on them like a flea market. The store had been closed for some time now, and was converted into an indoor market as a warm place to trade goods during the cold winter months. Some of the store’s actual stock remained, and was being sold to raise funds and resources for the town. Mostly, however, the market comprised of locals selling their own property or goods they themselves had made.

  Luckily I found a couple who made their own candles. They were good candles too, and I wasn’t at all unpleased to have to relinquish a heavy amount of green paper to buy them. It was almost funny and at the same time sickening throwing money away like it was worthless print from some game board. Most people were not excepting cash though, and I found myself trying to barter for certain needed items with the few gold pieces I had on hand. I didn’t know it at the time, but revealing I had gold was a very bad mistake. I had no idea that there were shady characters in the market watching for opportunities such as this. Even though I did not notice them, they noticed me and were watching closely. They must have inquired as to I was, because I would later meet them in not so good circumstances.

  I placed my purchases into my pack that I had brought along, and headed back into the winter’s cold and misery. I fueled up the sled before I rode back to camp. That cost me the rest of the money I had on hand, and two of the candles I had purchased. Thankfully the ride back to camp was uneventful and not too cold. I started a fire as soon as I got in, and unpacked my new supplies from town. I was extremely excited to have found coffee. I was able to get three large cans which should last me into the summer if I continued to ration it. I didn’t think twice about having a cup of hot coffee now though. I needed something to warm me up and restore a little energy.

  The water warmed on the stove as I turned on the radio. I was dismayed to find that I couldn’t get any reception from one of the only two stations I received here. It was a private station too, and was a great benefit in providing some music in times of need. There weren’t any storms on the horizon, so I wasn’t sure why the station wasn’t coming in. My day seemed to be turning a bit gloomy with the thought that the radio station had gone off the air. It was the only thing I could of as only static noise rang out from the speakers. I turned the dial until I was able to receive the government broadcasting station. Their music sele
ctions weren’t too bad, but not exactly my listening of choice. Beggars can’t be choosers though, and I would have to deal with it. It was just another sign that the times were still troubling and possibly getting worse. If that was even possible.

  The water was now ready, and I removed the kettle from the stove pouring myself a cup of coffee. I was thankful to have a small filter system to make single cups of coffee. It was the only way to do it without having to waste coffee by percolating an entire pot. The water continued to slowly dissolve through the grain filled filter as the news now broadcasted over the airwaves. First was the weather, and my general area was forecasted as being fair for the next few days. Updates were given for the distribution of supplies. I wasn’t amazed that none of the points of distribution were remotely close to this area. I had barely sipped my coffee when the sudden news of war sounded out from the radio.

  I continued to slowly sip away at my coffee listening to the horrible news of war on a massive scale now devastating regions of the Middle East. This new world conflict wasn’t just about oil either. Sure, some of the nations were now invading parts of the Middle East to secure their own interests in the black crude, but the violent eruption had started in that region in attempts to gain greater borders and other resources. Amazing enough, the U.S. was not involved. We had already brought back the majority of our forces home to aide in our own restoration. Now the remaining deployed forces were being called back to reinforce our own borders. Our oil stockpiles were now being released, mainly for the government, and resources were being applied to drilling in country. A little too late I thought, but about time.

  That night, the government radio station reported loosing contact with most of its sister stations. It was not receiving word from the military, and no one had been able to reach D.C. that evening. There was apparently a lot of confusion as to what was happening, and I found myself listening to the radio most the night as I was having troubles sleeping. I was beginning to think that we may have unwilling entered into the war.

  Chapter Seven

  Survival

  “Surely he shall deliver thee

  from the snare of the fowler,

  and from the noisome pestilence.”

  - Psalms 91:3

  Birds chirped outside the camper and the sound of a tree frog filled the air with its high pitched call. My vision was blurry at first as I began to waken from last night’s slumber. I sat up and rubbed my hands over my face and ran my fingers through my hair. My hair was getting pretty long now and probably needed a trim. I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to cut it now that summer was here. It had been two years now since I started coming here again. I couldn’t believe how the time had flown by, even during all this chaotic mess the world was in. That’s the thing about time though; it stops for no one or no thing. I tried standing, but had to sit for another minute before I could properly gain my balance. Only two things were on my mind right now, coffee and the radio. It had become my new morning ritual. Start a fire, get the water heated, and then turn on the radio to see if I had any connection to the outside world.

  I stepped out of the trailer still rubbing my hand all over my face and head. My body felt like it was still asleep and I was walking in a dream. I had gotten plenty of sleep last, but probably a little too much. I always woke up groggy if I had had too much slumber the night before. Placing some tinder into the fire pit, I carefully put small twigs and kindling over it. I lit a match from my now dwindling supply, and gave life to the fire that now blazed under the morning sun. Today I was planning on hunting for meat. I was in danger of becoming a vegetarian soon, and didn’t quite care for the idea of eating fish every night. The percolator rocked unevenly as I tried to position it just right by the fire. After finding the right spot to balance it I walked over to the camper. The door creaked some as I opened it to go inside and retrieve the radio. Bringing the radio out by the fire pit, I placed it on a stump and turned it on. I ran the dial up and down the slide, and played with it around the spot the government channel had last been. The only sound filling my little homestead though was that horrible scratching from static. I messed around with the tuning knob a little more before the coffee was ready.

  I made a full pot of coffee this morning. I hadn’t done that in a long time and thought it was about time I had. I was planning on heading out later this morning, and wanted to ensure I was plenty awake before I did. I sat listening to the static playing on the radio while I thought of where I was going to hunt. I was probably going to head to a nearby swamp where I had shot my deer last fall. I had a nice blind set up there and the deer seemed to frequent the area. Static continued to fill the air as my coffee cup turned in small circles in my hand, swooshing the coffee inside around and around. I stared at the coffee moving in the cup and occasionally took sips. I was finally beginning to wake now, and before I poured my second cup I turned of the radio that was now irritating me.

  Static had flowed from the speakers of the radio for some time now. There was just no word at all as to what was going on. I was listening the night the station shut down. They announced that it was too dangerous to hold where they were, and that the people left there were heading out to find safety for themselves and their families. The time they remained on the air after that night that silence fell upon the nation was short to say the least. It was a true testimony to their service though that they had stuck in long enough to inform listeners of the nightmare. This wasn’t about economic recovery anymore. It was about survival and ensuring the continued existence of mankind.

  The turning point was the night that some of the government stations fell silent and communications with most government facilities went dead. It was almost unimaginable that it could even have occurred at all. Confusion and unbelief still remains in the air, and no one was really sure where or how it even started. There were some reports, but even then you didn’t know if it was truth or fiction. What was truth was the obvious destruction and violent outbreaks that now encompassed us on a global scale. The silence on that winter night was born after the first wave of nuclear missiles detonated in our country. I’m not sure how many hits we took, but apparently most if not all of our major cities were gone. Some military reports had leaked through and by the sounds of them, we were pretty lucky compared to some of the countries in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. I’m not sure who pushed the button first, but it seemed when we did we pushed a lot of them. There were rumors of biological attacks too especially overseas, but like most news during those days it was second hand and frayed at best. I guess the good news was it seemed that no country was in the position to attack us anymore. Unfortunately I don’t think we were either, and with the continued silence I assumed we weren’t in the position to help ourselves either.

  The government station I was listening to at that time had finally evacuated for safety reasons due to the violence that was taking to the streets. People were not holding back now. With the sudden shutdown at pumps, and the halting of food distribution, things just went chaotic. It seemed again we were just adding to the juice our own mixture making our situation worse than before. The world was digging itself a deeper hole everyday, and that hole was now forming into a grave for us to all lye in. Even in here in the peaceful town I once visited things were uneasy. It may not have been outright genocide, but tension was building up and violent clashes had already taken place. I had attempted getting into town for a little boost in supplies once the snow had melted. I was stopped about two miles out by a family on foot. They told me they had lost their car to a group of hostile individuals in need of the fuel in their car. They lost everything in it, and had stated they felt lucky to have even been given the chance to walk away. I had given them a ride to their home before deciding to get back to camp. I was officially cut off from the world now. As far as I was concerned I wasn’t going to go looking for trouble. I had what everything I needed here, and would stay until some sort of news of hope worked its way back through the radio. Th
at was the connection I was searching for. Some sign of stability taking hold once again. I only hoped that we were going to be able to rebuild and not become a casualty, forever a whisper of what was once a great nation.

  I finished about half of the coffee pot by the time the fire died out. I returned to the camper to get my hiking pack and rifle. I grabbed some short supplies of food in case I stayed out, and then headed off into the woods in search of food. I couldn’t help but ponder on my own situation. I had spent so much time consuming my thoughts of the outside world over the last couple months that I neglected to spend time thinking on my food supplies. Supplies that were now being eaten to a dangerously low level. I had planned to be here two years. By that time things were suppose to have gotten better not worse. There wasn’t any hope of supplying in town, so the risks involved in going were not worth it. I could ration enough to spread the summer, but winter was coming soon. I would have to live off the land as much as I could and save the rations I had for the upcoming winter. In doing so I think I would be in good standing, and I would just have to keep hoping for some sort of miracle.

  I hadn’t walked far from the camp when I heard vehicles coming down the logging road. I stopped and listened for a while. They sounded as though they had driven to the camp. I heard doors slamming shut and voices shouting. A loud gunshot filled the air. That was all I needed to hear to realize I was in trouble. I slowly and quietly worked my way back to the camp. There were three trucks parked by the camper and some men were walking about. The door to the camper was wide open and I could hear things being tossed about. I just laid low in my position and watched. Two men finally came out of the trailer. I glanced through my rifle’s scope to look at them. I thought I recognized one of the men from town, but I couldn’t be sure. They weren’t shy when it came to talking. They seemed edgy and mostly yelled at each other. One of the men kept telling a guy that appeared to be the ring leader that the person living here had gold.