A Loud and Dreamless Sleep

by Michelle Marquis

  Raven laid back and closed her eyes. All at once old memories bombarded her. She remembered Saturday mornings with her children, making pancakes and watching cartoons. She could recall the scent of her son’s skin and hair as he cuddled with her on the couch, the impossible blue of her daughter’s eyes when she laughed at a silly joke. The pain was sudden and unexpected, especially after all these years. It hijacked her thoughts in a relentless barrage of images and half-forgotten memories. What had happened to them after she’d disappeared, she wondered. Were they okay now, over forty years later? Had they been forced into foster care or had their father come to the rescue? A wave of horrible agony consumed her and she stumbled out of bed.

  All thoughts of feeding slipped away. Raven staggered to the sliding glass door and walked out onto the patio. The night was cool and the fresh air helped but only for a moment. She sank into a plastic chair and buried her face in her hands. She should have fought her creator harder, she should have made him drink from her until every last drop of her blood was his, she should have gone to see her children and explained what had happened to her. But she’d done none of those things. How could she live on and on not know what had happened to her kids? What kind of soulless monster was she?

  She heard something behind her but didn’t bother to turn and look. What difference did it make if someone was coming to kill her or not? She should have died a long time ago.

  Vadim pulled up a chair next to her and sat down. “There is such sadness in you sometimes, my darling. What is it?”

  Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It eased her urge to cry. What difference would tears do now? “The vampire who created me did it on a whim. He was lonely and wanted a companion to hunt with so he chose me. He never said why. I was a single mom with two kids.” The memory of the night made her stomach twist into knots. It took a moment before she could continue. “I never found out what happened to them. I never got to say goodbye. I was just ripped from my life and tossed into another one. I guess I never quite got over it.” She gave him a weak smile. “Stupid, huh? I mean, it’s been more than forty years.”

  “It’s not stupid, Raven. It explains a lot. You are in mourning.”

  The pain in her stomach spread to her chest. It felt like her insides were under intense pressure to escape her body. “You’d think I’d be over it. I still think of them as little kids, but they’re not. They’d be in their fifties by now.”

  His green eyes searched her face. “Why are you so angry at yourself for missing them?”

  A flash of rage lifted the agony inside up to her throat. It tightened like a noose was around her neck. “What right do I have to miss them? I basically abandoned them, didn’t I?”

  Vadim leaned back in his chair and stretched out his long legs. “Ah, and there it is. You feel you abandoned them.” He interlaced his fingers over his stomach. Long, sharp nails combined to look like a medieval weapon. “Let us suppose, for argument’s sake, that you escaped your creator and went back to your children. Then you go to sleep during the day and wake to feed at night. But you don’t know how to feed because there is no master to show you. So when you rise the next night you are very hungry. Who is nearby with blood to satisfy your need but the children? You think you can take only a little from them and it won’t matter, but the bloodlust takes over and you accidently kill them. Or, you drink from them and, afraid they might die from what you’ve done, you turn them as you were turned. Now they are vampire, like you. Only they are trapped as small children for all eternity. Would you feel better then?”

  Raven got up and paced. He was right, of course. How could she have tried to return to a normal life after what happened to her? It was an impossible dream. “I just wish I knew what happened to them. It’s the not knowing that drives me crazy sometimes.”

  He unlaced his fingers and held his hands out like a magician revealing a trick. His nails looked even more vicious and cruel when he spread his fingers. “That’s an easy fix. I will find them for you.”

  She froze. A ribbon of joy was drenched in dread. What would they say if they saw her again? They’d hate her, of course. How could they feel anything else? “No, I don’t want that.”

  “Why not? Because you are afraid?”

  “Yes.”

  “But aren’t you living in fear now?”

  “It’s not the same,” she countered.

  “Because there is no rejection involved? When you see them again, you can explain what happened. They will either understand or they won’t. But they will have closure too. Because, believe you or not, they will have the truth of what happened to their mother.”

  She ran her hands up and down her arms. “I don’t know, Vadim. I’m not sure if I can face them.”

  Vadim stood and walked up to her. He tilted her face up to look at him then kissed her softly. “You must do this, Raven. You must do it for yourself…and for them. Only then can you truly be at peace.”

  She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. “Do you really think you can find them?”

  He ran his hand down the length of her hair. “Yes, just leave it to me.”

  Chapter 9

  Raven went back inside, trying to quiet the rush of conflicting emotions bombarding her. It was better to focus on the task at hand. They had to find the synthetics. She paced for a while, waiting for James to wake up on his own. He stirred and she made her way over to where he was handcuffed. He was awake now and stiffened when she crouched next to him. This close, his scent beckoned to her almost as though it was inviting her to puncture his vein and take what she wanted. James pushed back but was hindered by the chain holding him in place. “Please, I’ll tell you anything you want about the immortal parties. Just please don’t hurt me.”

  Raven smiled exposing her long teeth.

  Vadim prowled up behind her and crouched. James kept his gaze down and Raven could detect a heavier element of fear in his sweat. She was a little jealous of how Vadim could do that; make everyone fear him without uttering a word. But then, she’d been terrified of him in the beginning too.

  “Don’t worry, little man. You don’t need to be afraid of my lover; she only wants a taste of you. But perhaps we might spare your life if you share with us all you know,” Vadim said. The reference to her startled and surprised her. When she’d first partnered with him, she’d never allowed herself the luxury of thinking she was anything more than a good time. Lover implied a closer connection.

  “Okay. I don’t owe them anything anyway.” He swallowed hard, then said, “There’s this guy…he pays us for grabbing what vampires we can and bringing them to a party.”

  “Really?” Vadim lowered to the floor and sat with his legs crossed next to Raven. “What kind of party?”

  “Like I said, it’s an immortality party. People pay big buck to drink vampire blood and become one.”

  Raven ran her tongue along her teeth. Just as she suspected, this stupid practice was filled with unintended consequences. “But who trains them once they are turned?”

  James glanced from her to Vadim. He shook his head a few times, confused. “No one, man. I guess they just wing it. Isn’t that what you two did?”

  Vadim stood. He stared down at James and his mouth turned down into a sinister frown. He gestured to their captive like the man was an invading cockroach. “This is as I feared. They don’t have any idea what they are doing. It’s all for profit.” Vadim spit on James and hit him right on the cheek.

  “Hey, man!” James yelled in protest. “That’s unsanitary!”

  “Shut up, imbecile.” Vadim was about to reach down and twist the captive’s head off when Raven placed her hand on his arm and stopped him. “We need him to take us there.”

  The master vampire froze, clearly displeased. Finally, he nodded, but his grim expression didn’t change.

  Raven went to the bathroom and plucked a tissue from a pack on the sink. She came out and cleaned James’ forehead. She thre
w the soiled tissue in the trash. “I take it your party friends were expecting you back tonight.”

  James nodded. He unwisely shot Vadim a nasty look. The master vampire responded by kicking him in the face.

  Raven sighed and turned to Vadim. “Can you stop that, please? It’s unhelpful.”

  He snorted. “Perhaps, but it gives me pleasure.”

  Chapter 10

  While James sat on the floor making a case for his release and nursing his bleeding nose, Raven and Vadim exchanged ideas on the best way to crash the immortal party.

  “There’s no other way to do this,” Raven said. “I have to let myself get captured. It’s the only way in without causing suspicion.”

  Vadim listened in solemn silence. He reached into the freezer, pulled out a bottle of vodka, and poured himself half a shot. Then he leaned against the kitchen counter and took a small sip. His green eyes searched her face but the full wattage of his power was dimmed. He could have commanded her to do anything he wanted. Clearly, he didn’t like her idea but wouldn’t force the issue. But she could tell he could be swayed. “No, it’s too dangerous. I hate this idea.”

  Raven threw up her hands. He was the most stubborn man she’d ever met. “What’s your idea, then?”

  “I don’t have one yet. I prefer to use another female vampire, one older than you.”

  “What, one of those skinny, fashion model types that show up to parties in their lingerie? Oh, come on, Vadim, a woman like that shows up there and they’re going to know something’s up. I could easily pass for human once I’ve fed again and you know it.”

  “Hey!” James called from the living room. “Could I get a drink?”

  Vadim rolled his eyes. “What does that imbecile want, now?”

  Raven smiled and jumped off the counter. “He wants a drink. Hold on.” She walked quickly into the living room where James was handcuffed to a decorative railing. He looked miserable and his wrist was red from trying to squeeze it through the cuff. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I’m hungry and I want a drink.”

  “If I get you something, will you shut up?”

  His mouth dropped into a frown. “I also don’t want all my blood sucked out.”

  “Well, that’s going to depend on you. Just like Vadim told you. If you help us, we’ll let you live. How does that sound?”

  “You’re a nice lady, but Count Dracula in there…he’s not so nice.”

  Vadim prowled into the bedroom. His movements were smooth and fluid like a snake. His face had taken on a dark, predatory quality that made him even sexier. “What are you whining about, now, idiot?”

  James looked pleadingly at Raven. “See? He hates me. He’s going to kill me no matter what I do!”

  Vadim glared at the captive. “He’s right. I do want to kill him.”

  “No, he’s not going to kill you. Just relax.” Raven turned to the master vampire exasperated. “You’re not helping here. We need his cooperation to get close to those kidnappers. Do you have any food?”

  “Of course not,” Vadim said with disdain. “What am I, a housewife? Do you think I go to the grocery store on the weekends? You know we don’t eat…food.”

  Raven handed James her flask of tequila. “Here. I’ll find you something to eat soon.” Then to Vadim she said, “A simple ‘no’ would have been enough.” They returned to the kitchen.

  “What are you going to do now?” Vadim demanded. “Are you going to go shopping for this bastard? Why don’t we just beat the information out of him?”

  “We’re not going to beat him because the information may not be reliable. I want him to be happy.” She pulled out her iPhone and started searching for pizza parlors.

  Vadim tossed back the vodka in his glass and poured another shot. “I don’t care what he tells you. You are not going to be the one to do this work. I’ll find someone else.”

  Raven ignored him and called for a pizza. Vadim was about to say something else when she walked over to James and plucked his wallet from his jeans. She leafed out enough money to pay the pizza guy and then she stuffed the wallet back into his pocket.

  “Raven,” Vadim growled.

  She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to agree. He wanted her to say she would do whatever he commanded. But he was going to be disappointed because they both knew it had to be her. No one else could pass for human like she could. “Yes, Vadim.”

  He folded his arms across his thick chest. “Not you.”

  She walked over and kissed him gently on the lips. “It has to be me.”

  Then he did something she didn’t expect. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. It was a warm, affectionate hug and the sincerity surprised her. She pulled back and looked him in the eye.

  “You’re worried about me, aren’t you?” she asked.

  He placed a kiss on her lips, a kiss infused with love and longing. It was the most sensuous kiss she’d ever experienced. “I, like you, have known a lot of pain in my long life. I refuse to live on without you.”

  The doorbell rang. Raven pushed away from him, trying to hide her shock. So many emotions were swirling around in her head, she couldn’t sort them all out. “I have to answer the door.”

  He stood watching her, his expression unreadable. “I know you do.”

  Raven paid for the pizza and put it on the floor where James could reach it. He tore into it and Raven watched him. She tried to remember what pizza tasted like but it eluded her. She could, and sometimes did eat, but the flavor was all wrong. For a moment, she envied James and his gluttonous enjoyment. The only thing that satisfied her appetite now was hot, sticky blood.

  Then she looked up and saw Vadim still staring at her. “Are you sorry you were cursed with this second life?” he asked.

  Raven walked over. She took his hand and smiled. “I used to be, but not anymore. I think it’s starting to grow on me. Meeting you has changed a lot of things.”

  Chapter 11

  Raven sat in the passenger seat of the Yaris and watched people come and go through the club entrance. Vadim sat next to her in grim silence. He was upset of course, but most of all he was worried. He didn’t need to say it. She could read it in the tight set of his jaw and the lines around his vibrant green eyes. She wanted to say something to reassure him, to let him know everything was going to go off as planned. Unfortunately, she was too worried to lie.

  Well, might as well get this over with. Raven unfastened her seatbelt. “I’m going.”

  Vadim grabbed her arm and she hesitated before opening the door. “Do you have your cell phone with you? I want you to signal me immediately if something goes wrong.”

  Raven placed her hand over his. There was bone-crushing power there, but his touch was gentle. “I will. I promise.” She climbed out of the car and stood next to it for a minute. A dozen concerns bubbled to the surface but she ignored them. If she didn’t take advantage of this opportunity now, there might not be another one. What these people were doing was wrong and someone needed to stop them.

  Raven walked across the street, noticing how the streetlights shone off the asphalt. It was a lonely, desolate sign and it made the melancholy come back with a vengeance. Despair filled her chest, feeling like a group of rocks had fallen there. The feeling had weight and substance and threatened to overwhelm her. She buried it as best as she could and continued putting one step in front of the other.

  The double doors were steel and painted a battered red. She glanced back at the road and Vadim and the Yaris were nowhere in sight. They had disappeared noiselessly like they had never existed at all. Even though she was confident Vadim would come for her if she ran into trouble, she still felt lost and abandoned.

  Raven tried the right door first. It gave a little, then she put more force into it and it flung open so hard it hit the back wall. If no one knew she was here before, they sure knew now. She stepped into semi-darkness but her eyes adjusted quickly.

  There was a bouncer up ahead. He
was watching her with a strange mixture of caution and curiosity. He stepped into her path and folded his huge arms. “Who are you?” he said in a low, dangerous tone.

  Raven held up a bundle of cash. “Someone with money.”

  He unfolded his arms and his shoulders relaxed. “What are you looking for?”

  “What everyone’s looking for? I’m looking for immortality.” She leafed off a hundred dollar bill from the stack. “I heard there were opportunities here for paying customers, no strings attached.”

  He took the money she offered and stepped back. Raven continued down the dark hallway. It led to a warehouse that had been converted into a nightclub. The dance floor was packed with dancing bodies. She squeezed past them and made her way to the back of the club. A woman sat at a folding table. She had blue spiked-up hair and a cruel, weathered face.

  Raven walked up and stared down at the woman. “I was told I could get the experience of a lifetime for the right price.”

  The woman glared at her. “Maybe, if you have twelve hundred on you.”

  Raven handed the woman the exact amount. She waited patiently while the money was counted. Then she was given a room key. “Upstairs to your left,” blue hair said.

  With key in hand, Raven headed for the stairs.

  Chapter 12

  The Vampire Room as it was euphemistically called was in a large room that smelled like stale blood and terror sweat. Old, dried blood was spilled on the floors and there was dirty medical equipment scattered around. Along the far wall were three young vampires. They were strapped to their cots so tight they couldn’t move a muscle. Raven’s heart went out to them.

  As she ventured further into the room, she witnessed how these synthetic vampires were being created. A customer would come in and pay cash. No questions were asked. The money was put in a lockbox and blood was taken from the aspiring vampire. That blood was then transfused into one of the vampires. When all the blood had been absorbed by the unfortunate creature, they would be cut and the customer would drink enough of the blood to turn. That was it. No nurturing or training or even human contact, for the most part. It was all commerce and it was sickening.