He immediately stopped resisting and turned to face me.
His gold canine’s shimmered as he snarled.
“Put the gun down Ma, you don’t know what to do with heat like that.”
I backed up and held the pistol with both hands.
“I’m sure in a situation like this, one can learn pretty quickly.”
I saw Myla’s eyes fluttering open, letting me know she was still alive.
“Look, this is between me and my girl. Put the gun down and I’ll leave the same way I came in.”
“Don’t do it Ivory, shoot that mothafucka.” Myla encouraged, seeing that I was mentally weighing my opinions.
Tegan was holding his chest and breathing deeply to keep from passing out.
“I’ve suffered my karma. Time for you to suffer yours.” I announced, pulling the trigger but to no avail.
I pulled the clip over and over as he approached me with a smug look.
“Told you the heat was too much for you.”
Cue grasped me by the throat and I began to see lights.
I thought about my life. The pain I had caused others to free myself from the pain others had caused me. If I had only forgiven Pierce for the things he had done, I would have never sought to solve my internal pain in other ways.
His hands tightened around my neck to the point where I could feel my spirit leaving my body.
If I let him kill me now, I would be free of all transgressions. Junior would live on and I wouldn’t have to explain how my own selfishness lead to this unfortunate end.
I let go, watching the scene around me depart and the shrill voice of Myla becoming softer and softer.
My death was interrupted by shots that came from outside my home. One whizzing behind my head and the other striking Cue in his.
He fell to the ground and so did I.
One of us alive and the other destined to suffer the hell they created.
***
It was about a week later and I was clothed in an all-black sweater dress with shades covering the somberness that rested in my eyes. Although I was appreciative that I lived through the harrowing ordeal with Myla’s crazy ex-husband, I would forever be guilt-ridden with the fact that I advertently played a role in my husband Pierce’s death. Myla and Tegan had sustained minor wounds, all of which would be healed in a few months’ time but my internal lesions would last for eternity.
I walked up to the podium that was situated directly behind Pierce’s casket. Keeping my eyes fixated on the audience and off the man who lost his life because of me.
“Thank you everyone for coming to see my husband in his final hour.” I adjusted the mic and spotted Myla, T, Denise and Roland who were all in attendance. “It is an honor to honor a man who had to lose his life for me to appreciate his.”
I continued my speech to the will of the congregation. Openly admitting Pierce’s infidelities as the reason for our prospective divorce and my own personal struggles with forgiveness. Due to the stickiness of the situation, I omitted my dealings with Denise but knew God would understand me just the same.
“It is important to exonerate others for what they’ve done no matter how hurt you might be because you never know if you’ll ever have that chance.” I could see Denise resonating with my words through the tears she began to cry. “As the cliché goes, forgiveness is not for other people, we do it for ourselves so we can move on.”
I excused myself from the podium while the crowd applauded my closing statement.
After thirty minutes of additional words from other friends and family, a prayer was said and Pierce’s casket was lowered into the ground.
As guests departed, I was met by Denise and Roland.
“You were so strong up there.” She applauded, grasping my hands in hers. “It’s no coincidence that we were brought together as a test of God. Sadly, neither one of us passed that test.”
I looked down at our hands and noticed the ring finger missing on both. I had attended Delano’s funeral a few days after my run in with Cue. It wasn’t until I was in the shoes of a widow did I truly feel the pain.
“I just wanted him to feel the hurt I felt. I didn’t know it would come to this.” I said, hanging my head.
“Neither did I but God works in mysterious ways.” Denise took her hand and used it to lift up my chin. “All you can do now is do right by your son and make him the man he was meant to be. Hopefully it will spare him the endings of our husbands.”
I nodded and gave her an empathic hug.
Myla and Tegan joined the conversation with Junior in toe. Since the fatal incident, they had found a way to bury the jealousy they had for one another which was a major monkey off my back.
Death has a way of turning even the worse of enemies into the best of friends.
“You did great out there girl.” Myla encouraged, placing one hand on my shoulder. “Even going so far as to pick a fly ass casket for a dude who practically humiliated you a few months before, you’ve come a long way.”
“Please don’t remind me.” I said, moving my hair out of my face. “I don’t want to relive my past, I’m only trying to brighten my future.”
“Amen to that.” Tegan chimed in, keeping a steady eye on Junior while he went to fraternize with the other kids. “You’ve been a phenomenal help with the new crisis group at the center. You sure you can handle being lead director?”
“If she can handle this, she can handle anything.” Roland answered, putting his arm around my waist. “Let me know when the grieving process is over, I will be more than happy to help you pick up the pieces.”
“Roland!” Denise shouted, surprised at his forwardness.
I removed myself from his grasp and punched him in the chest.
“I don’t sleep with married men.”
“Anymore.” Myla finished, laughing while I gave her the eye. “What? I told you jokes and drinks help me get through everything.”
“Speaking of drinks, lets go get some. On me.” Roland announced, heading to his car.
I allowed everyone to head to their vehicles while I kneeled in front of Pierce’s tombstone. Preparing myself for one last goodbye.
“Pierce, please forgive me. The anger I have for the things you’ve done to this family can’t carry me any further than a plot on the ground right beside you. I will take care of Junior, you have my word.”
I removed my glasses and allowed tears to fall. It wasn’t until my son came to wipe them that I picked myself up from the ground and headed towards what would be a new beginning.
Epilogue
(Three months later)
“Wake up Mommy, time to make breakfast!”
I rubbed my eyes to the sight of my son Junior wearing underwear over his head and pretending he was a superhero. Saturday morning cartoons were a blessing because it allotted me some extra time in bed and when I say “extra time” I mean to say a good five minutes.
Junior held his hands outward and pretended he was a plane flying around my bedroom.
“Okay, okay. I’m getting up. Meet Mommy downstairs and I’ll get it for you.” I said yawning.
He bolted out of the bedroom faster than the Flash in a race to save the world.
I, on the other hand, drug myself down the steps like the tortoise.
“Rise and shine porcupine!” Myla beamed, ruffling my hair as she spoke.
“All this joy and happiness in the morning is making me sick.” I joked, fixing my hair that was now sticking up from all ends. “It’s not even noon and I need a nap already.”
Since the funeral, I had completely changed the focus of my life from being one of pain to one of prosper. While simultaneously assisting my best-friend and supervisor Tegan Whitmore with creating a crisis group for people dealing with issues such as death, I had also decided to finally take his advice and see my own counselor for the remainder of the recovery process involving my ex-husband’s passing. During the course of my “recovery” I invited my sister Myla to expr
ess everything we hadn’t discuss in the years she had been away. I can definitely say her admission to Pierce having a hand at her sexual assault and the reason why she remained quiet brought us closer than I had ever imagined.
“Too bad because there’s no time for any of that. We got to go school shopping remember?”
“I completely forgot!” I exclaimed, looking at Junior who was already burying his face in cheerios. “Didn’t I tell you to wait for me?”
“Sorry Mommy, you were moving too slow.”
I chuckled at his honesty and took a seat on the couch.
“I know this is random but I’m so proud of you.” Myla took a seat beside me on the sofa.
“For what?”
“You know what for.” She winked, in reference to everything that had occurred months before. “From where you were last year to now, I wanna be just like you when I grow up.”
“You’re about three months from a degree, I’d say you are well on your way.”
Cue’s death had freed Myla not just from her debt but from a past that kept her from being the person I knew she could be. Once he was gone, she focused her attention solely on school and was scheduled to graduate with her associates degree in criminal justice. Many might think of this as a small accomplishment but for Myla and all she had experienced; it was dream come true.
“Thanks to you. Those late night flashcard quizzes erk my soul but they do help during test time.”
“Mmm probably the reason why I’m so tired all the time.”
“Dually noted.” She said, chuckling.
I turned the TV on in the living room and went to run water so that I could brush my teeth. No soon as I got into the bathroom, there was a heavy knock at my front door.
I scratched my backside as I went to answer it.
“Good Morning Ms. Carter, I apologize for the early morning interruption.”
The police officer that stood before me was a middle aged white man with glassy blue eyes and a silver haired buzz cut. His intimidating demeanor immediately put me on edge.
“No problem at all. Is there anything I can help you with?” I asked, careful not to stand too close for fear of him smelling my morning breath.
“I hope so.” He pulled out a pad and began writing. “I hate to bring up death as it has surrounded itself around you within the past few months but I was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me.”
I looked behind me and took a step forward so that I could close the door. Leaving the officer and I free to talk in my front yard.
“Of course. Anything you need.”
I was unsure of what questions he had in store but knew to make sure our conversation remained private.
“You are familiar with a Denise Gathers correct?”
“Yes” I responded.
“When was the last time you saw her?”
My mind wandered back to the moments she and I shared along with the rest of the group at Pierce’s funeral.
“It’s been awhile.” I said, scratching my head. “I think the last time we were in contact was when she attended my husband’s funeral.”
“It’s my understanding that you also attended her husband’s as well.”
“Yes I did.”
He continued documenting our conversation.
“I’ll need you to recall the last time you saw her husband alone.”
“The last time?” I feigned ignorance. “I’ve never been around her husband without her.”
“Please don’t be dishonest with me. I’m aware of the agreement you had with Ms. Gathers.”
I could feel the nervousness I thought I had buried away resurfacing.
“I was informed that you knew about Delano Gather’s benzodiazepine addiction at used it to your advantage.”
“Advantage for what?” I said in complete confusion.
“That’s a question that only you can answer. Ivory Carter you are under arrest for the first degree murder of Delano Gather’s. Anything said can and will be used against you in a form of court.”
My life flashed before my eyes.
“I…I…”
I was brought back to the day Myla brought those pills home from the hospital.
“Oh my god.” I stuttered. “Denise, she set me up.”
The officer reached to grab his handcuffs and placed me in them.
“She set me up.” I repeated once more.
He led me to the car and placed me in it. I wondered through a fog of tears how I ever managed fall into the grasp of someone so deceitful
So conniving
So Jaded.
H.L.F.
For additional information on “Jaded” or his upcoming novel “Young. Wild. Free.” please contact Author Shawn Thompson through his self-titled Facebook page or email him at [email protected].
Jaded: The First Cut is the Deepest Page 16
