Out of Practice Aphrodite (The Goddess Chronicles Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  “Here’s the clincher, Artie.” I finished pulling another espresso and grabbed a saucer for myself from the mahogany cabinet. I padded back over to the bar where I sat facing Artie and took a long sip.

  “As punishment for my transgression Zeus wants me to get a couple together. Modern matchmaking and all that.”

  Artie barked out a laugh. “Be real, Abby. What is it he really wants you to do? Matchmaking?” she snorted. “Good one.”

  “I’m serious,” I said and gave her my most serious face, which was actually harder to do than I realized.

  “But that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Her brow wrinkled and she fell silent, deep in thought. “Don’t trust him,” she said suddenly.

  I thought that was a major understatement because of course I didn’t trust Zeus, but I wondered where she was going with it.

  “I mean it, Abby. Don’t trust him. There appear to be forces at work here that neither of us understand. You and I both know that Zeus wouldn’t let an indiscretion of that caliber go by with only a slap on the wrist.”

  Boy, did I ever know it. I was still surprised I had all my limbs. I was thinking along the same lines as Artie – no one ever escaped the wrath of Zeus. Some of those unfortunate souls were never seen again. I somehow had managed to escape that particular fate, although it certainly would be weird if the Goddess of Love suddenly disappeared. Not that I’d been very active as my own namesake but still. Who did people really think was responsible for that terrible tradition of flowers and chocolate on February fourteenth? Legions of women were probably still cursing me for that one.

  “Artie, of course I don’t trust him. Zeus and I have never had a trusting relationship. It’s more of an I-confess-my-screw-ups-and-then-haul-ass-out-of-the-room-before-he-zaps-me kind of thing.”

  Frustrated, I blew an errant curl out of my face and rested my head on my hands. “I don’t know what’s going on or why this love match is so important to him, but I know one thing for sure. I intend to find out.”

  “Abby, don’t go poking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Especially in the matters of gods.”

  I choked out a laugh. “We are gods. There is no nose better to poke into such affairs.”

  Artie stood up and began to pace. “Something’s not right here. I can feel it.” Suddenly she stopped and slapped her hand down on the bar, loud enough for me to jolt in surprise.

  “All right. I’m in.”

  “In what?” I had no idea what she was talking about. Something that was actually pretty common when holding a conversation with Artie. Her brain was much quicker than mine and sometimes traveled down roads that I hadn’t been down before. I wasn’t sure I liked where she was going with this.

  “If you’re in deep with Zeus, I plan to help you get to the bottom of what’s going on.”

  “So let me get this straight. You’re scared to death of Zeus and you’re going to go along with whatever I plan, knowing you could get zapped, too? Bad idea.”

  Artie narrowed her eyes and stepped closer to me. It wasn’t often she got angry, but it looked like I was about to get a taste of the Goddess of the Hunt. Poking her finger in my chest, I was forced to take a step back and tilt my head up to look at her. “Now you listen to me, you little blonde tart.”

  Poke.

  “You. Are.”

  Poke.

  “My best friend.”

  Poke.

  “In the entire world.” Her voice escalated until it was very close to being a screech. “And I will help you with whatever cockamamie scheme you come up with. Are we clear?” Artie’s eyes had taken on an icy indigo color and a wind began to blow in the kitchen, testament to her righteous anger.

  “Got it,” I said meekly. “Mind turning off the tornado action?”

  The wind stopped abruptly and Artie crossed her arms over her chest. The geek could do petulant, that was for sure.

  “I just don’t want Zeus mad at you, too. That’s all. I’m surprised I’m still standing, you know. There’s nothing like waking up in the morning and realizing you’re going to get paid a very unwelcome visit.”

  “Let’s take this one day at a time. You have love on your side and I’m gifted with a keen sense of smell and a bad temper. We can figure this one out.”

  Man, I loved Artie. Despite everything we had been through together one thing remained constant. I could always count on her to kick someone’s ass or even my own when things got bad. Maybe it was the fact that she was with me and we were sipping coffee in my cozy kitchen like we always did that made me feel like everything was going to work out. The feeling was fleeting though, especially after the next morning.

  3

  Chapter Three

  My first thought the next morning was that I couldn’t breathe. Before I even opened my eyes, I felt a pressing heaviness on my chest and dragging in enough breath to stop me from blacking out was a monumental task.

  “Wake up, sleepyhead.” A singsong voice trilled through the room and the oppressive weight suddenly lifted. Rolling over, I choked and gasped for air. The bedclothes twisted around my waist and I couldn’t see a damned thing because of the hair in my eyes.

  “Well, Aphrodite dear, it certainly doesn’t appear like you’re a morning person.”

  I knew that cheery voice. It was the stuff of nightmares. Sickly sweet and happy nightmares where everyone ate lollipops for breakfast and mankind was eternally good.

  Once I was able to take in a breath, I managed to sit up and glare at him from underneath the curls still lodged on my face. Sparkling whiskey eyes stared at me.

  “Hermes. Of course.”

  “Why, who else were you expecting? Certainly not Zeus, my sweet little cherub.”

  Hermes waggled his fingers at me from his perch on my antique dresser.

  Gods. How could anyone be that cheery at seven a.m.? Especially the son of Zeus. What did he have to be so happy about all the time? Like other children of the gods, Hermes was certainly easy on the eyes. And he always happened to be dressed in a short skirt. Okay, not really a skirt, more like a dress. A wide grin split his handsome face as he hopped nimbly down off my expensive furniture and approached me. Hermes was the messenger of the gods and had quite the athletic build. His walk toward me was loose and fluid and it took everything I had to keep my eyes off those incredible golden legs. All the messengering apparently gave the guy quite a workout. Yum.

  Although I always wanted to hate him, just by virtue of him being so happy I didn’t have it in me. He was too good-natured to dislike. “What do you have for me?” I reached my hand out for the missive he was probably hiding somewhere in that dress thing he was wearing.

  “Ah, ah, ah,” he said, shaking his finger at me as if I were a naughty little girl. “It’s a little more serious than that, you know. And honestly Aphrodite, what could you possibly have done to tick the big guy off so much?”

  I sighed, not ready to go into the story yet again. The fewer people who knew about the incident and my subsequent deal with Zeus, the better. I also wasn’t sure if I could trust Hermes. He might be the messenger for our people, but there were rumors Hermes played all sides. I suspected he had enough blackmail material to take over Olympus one day. I didn’t need him adding to my worries.

  “Nothing to worry about, Hermes. Now what’s the message?”

  Hermes regarded me for a long moment and lost his eternal grin. “Hera is very angry with you, Abby.”

  Hermes hadn’t called me Abby in probably a hundred years. Definitely not a good sign. My throat tightened and I let out a short laugh. “Well, when is she ever happy with anyone?” I waved a dismissive hand in the air, but Hermes had always been way too perceptive for his own good.

  “Whatever it is I must warn you to take care. Hera is not a woman you want focused on you. Worlds have fallen when her rage bubbled over. You and I both know this.”

  I stared into his eyes and saw no hint of deception. Worry, yes. Curiosity, defi
nitely. But nothing else that would make me think he wasn’t on my team. Still, I hadn’t survived as long as I had by being overly trusting. Some things people are better off not knowing. If there were a death threat hanging over my head, the fewer who knew about it, the better,

  “Message, Hermes. Please.”

  Hermes’ mouth tightened, but he nodded. He became immobile and his eyes took on the brilliant green of Zeus. Out of his mouth, Zeus’ voice boomed. “The two people are in Asheville. Cloak yourself and travel to the city. It matters not how you get them to fall in love, only that they do so within a fortnight. If you fail, Hephaestus will be your eternal company.”

  A fortnight. Who said that anymore? Two weeks to bring them together. Difficult, yes, impossible, not so much. Especially not in today’s give-it-to-me-right-now society.

  I knew I was missing the bigger picture. Zeus was not known for being magnanimous and he certainly had never appeared to give two figs about love. I had to figure out why he was so invested in these two people and if bringing them together was going to be a good or bad thing. Not that it mattered in the long run. There was no way I was spending the rest of eternity locked in Hades with Hephaestus moaning and groaning about his horrible life.

  I tried to ask Hermes questions while he was in his trance state, but Zeus’ green eyes stared at me and he remained silent. Okay. I had only one thing to go on. Go to Asheville and make two people fall in love. I hoped Zeus had some kind of magical doohickey that would allow me to see the two targets. Knowing Zeus, it was all taken care of, but I couldn’t help but be a little suspicious. After all, it was Zeus.

  Hermes shuddered and bowed his head. After a moment, his eyes met mine again. “Well,” he said in a falsely cheery tone. Watching him I realized having your body and mind appropriated by the King of the Gods wasn’t as easy as he tried to make it look.

  “All good, Hermes?” I asked softly.

  “Abby, I am the son of Zeus.” A grimace trying to pass for a grin lit his face. “Do you happen to have some coffee?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Hermes and his raging addiction to caffeine was back. “You’ve come to the right place, old friend.”

  Although I wasn’t in public appropriate pajamas, Hermes had seen more than I was currently showing. With minimal modesty, I rolled out of the bed and grabbed the dressing gown I had thrown over the chair before I fell into a coma the night before.

  Padding into the kitchen with Hermes hot on my heels felt surreal, but the lack of conversation felt strangely comfortable. Maybe Hermes could be a friend, but I was loathe to trust a close family member of Zeus. At any time he could be overpowered and coerced to reveal my secrets.

  Sometimes I wasn’t very smart, but I certainly was secretive. Hermes knew only what I chose to reveal, not because I didn’t like him, but because I still wondered whose side he was really on. I didn’t know what harm it would do to tell him what happened, and I was actually surprised he hadn’t already figured it out. I couldn’t imagine my indiscretion and the visit from Zeus had gone unnoticed on Olympus.

  The mountain was like a tiny town with its gossip mongers. While most would think the gods had better things to do than engage in petty gossip, the truth was it was difficult being immortal. The world quickly became boring if you could have anything you wanted with a simple snap of the fingers. When something new or different happened, Olympus snapped to attention like a trusty soldier. Eyes and ears were open, ready to receive and distribute to anyone within hearing distance. The fact that Hermes didn’t know was disconcerting. How deep a muddle was I in if even Hera hadn’t gone back and spread vicious lies about me?

  Making Hermes coffee soothed my addled nerves and my overactive brain. Drudging up courage, I glanced at Hermes. He had settled in at the bar, golden arms on top of the counter and legs sprawled out, looking for all the world like he belonged there. “So,” I drawled out the word, not yet sure where I was going with it.

  Hermes grinned. “Sooo,” he continued. ‘You want to know why I popped into your home completely unannounced and clueless as to what’s going on?”

  I huffed out a laugh. “Yep,” I agreed. “That’s about it in a nutshell. Why isn’t the Olympus grapevine burning up with my recent escapades?”

  I handed Hermes the steaming cup and leaned across from him, face to face. He stared at me for a moment, concern and curiosity written on his brow. “Honestly, Abby? No idea. I’m not sure why everything is so secretive. I can understand why Zeus wouldn’t have said anything. You are after all, my dear, one of his favorites, even though you’re like itch powder in his toga.”

  I bristled. I wasn’t that bad. Was I? I opened my mouth to object and Hermes let out a rich laugh. “You are, darling. Itch powder. You’ve been a beautiful thorn in his side for thousands of years now. I wondered for so many years why he hadn’t already disposed of you, but the truth is I think you keep darling Daddy on his toes. One of the few soldiers who hasn’t fallen in line. Not content to stay on Olympus and eat grapes, you’re an anomaly to him. I think he secretly enjoys it.” He paused for a moment to take a long swallow of the coffee.

  Man. Hermes sure was pretty. He tipped back his head, exposing his long golden throat, and I felt the sudden need to fan myself. “Although I wouldn’t suggest making a habit of this. If he feels like you ever become a danger to him, he will dispose of you himself. Quietly and thoroughly. None of us the wiser.”

  I shuddered inside and knew that Hermes was right. I had to be careful of the line I toed, but this one I couldn’t help but think hadn’t been my fault. I’d been walking the earth for thousands of years and never had I unwittingly exposed myself to humans. I had done lots of other stupid things, legendary stupid things, but I’d never once allowed my identity to slip. Now that my powers were acting wonky, I began to wonder if someone wasn’t holding a teensy grudge against me.

  “Hermes?”

  “Hmm, darling?”

  “Have you heard any rumblings about me in Olympus?”

  “Rumblings? You mean other than the chorus of thousands of nymphs jealous of your immortal blonde beauty?”

  I snorted. “Seriously, Hermes. I’m wondering if there are more forces at play than just me being a screw-up.”

  He set his mug down and looked lost in thought. “Tell me what happened, Abby. Please?”

  I debated. I wondered how much Hermes could be trusted. Whether I’d be dumb to place my trust in the son of someone who could kill me with a glance. I’d lived long enough to be wary of the gods, and the only one I’d ever known enough to trust was Artemis. She had a healthy fear of Zeus, as most of us did, but Hermes was so casual and flippant, it made me wonder if he had a death wish.

  I must have contemplated his request too long because I felt his warm hand clasp mine. He pulled me closer to him and rested his forehead against mine. It was…comforting, yet completely unexpected. “I cannot help you unless I know what’s going on.”

  Breathless, I whispered, “How do I know I can trust you?”

  He released me abruptly, leaving me cold and shaken. “You don’t.”

  Hermes stood up and walked away from me. He bowed his powerful shoulders and leaned against the window frame. I approached him cautiously and stood behind him. I hadn’t noticed before how industrial the view was outside. The stark opposite of Olympus, New York stood fiercely proud. Whereas Olympus was graced with stone columns and opulence, New York was sleek, modern, and wholly unforgiving. For a second, I wondered why I had chosen this place to settle.

  Disconcerted, I placed my hand on Hermes’ arm. “I meant no offense. It is difficult to trust the children of Olympus. So many games and moves to gain power. I am but the Goddess of Love. No one really. I have no powers other than glamour and seduction. There is no power to move me, other than that of love. I have no desire to rule or conquer, only to create and give. For that, Hermes, I do not understand why people would still try to destroy me.” I had slipped back into formal speech,
something I had avoided for hundreds of years, but I wanted him to understand my reluctance.

  Hermes nodded once. When his voice came, a low murmur, his words rattled me to my core. “But don’t you understand, Abby? Love is the most powerful force on earth. Entire races have been destroyed over love. Cities burn and people die to get a taste of the ashes left behind. You create and destroy, but the driving force behind your actions is love. People live their entire lives yearning for it. From the fleeting touch of a mother’s hand on one’s brow to the caress of an attentive lover, it is the force that could destroy us all. But, my darling, it is also the force that creates, builds, multiplies, and ultimately prevails. Over everything. Don’t you understand? Yours is the power that terrifies us most of all.”

  His words gave me goose bumps because he was right. For so many years my power had been used thoughtlessly. My vanity had overruled my desire to do good. While I did have the power to create love where there was none, my intent was to nudge a seed into a flower. I succeeded sometimes, but I had experienced spectacular failure and seen my efforts result in the destruction of empires.

  I stepped away from Hermes and laid my forehead against the cool glass of the window. I didn’t know what to do. Asheville was on the itinerary, but suddenly a small task seemed monumental. I suspected someone was after me to fail, but so far there were zero suspects.

  I tugged Hermes’ hand and guided him into the living room. “Sit down awhile and let me tell you a story.”

  He obliged, surprise on his face. As I settled into my chaise lounge, worry choking me, for the first time in thousands of years, I trusted the child of a god.

  4

  Chapter Four