Take the Mummy and Run

by Mary Amato

  I ran to the side of the house and turned off the water.

  “Ribbit?” Orville said, and took off his goggles.

  Everybody stared at Mrs. Kemp.

  You know that awful feeling you get when a grown-up is yelling at you? Well, we were bracing ourselves for it when she started laughing. “That was fun!” she said.

  “You’re not mad?” Jonathan asked.

  “It’s so hot today, it actually felt good.” She wiped the water from her face. “Keep the dollar! And here’s a tip.”

  I couldn’t believe it. Now we had three dollars.

  In case you’re wondering, a wet dollar bill feels just as good as a dry one when you get to hold it in your hot little hand.

  “Hey, can I get splashed?” Margaret asked. “Even if I don’t have a dollar?”

  I looked at Orville and Amelia. I felt a Riot Brother saying coming on.

  “You can have fun making money,” I said. “And you can make money having fun. But if you have to make money to have fun, you’re no fun.” I pulled my marker out of my pocket and changed our sign from The Riot Brother Car Wash to The (Free!) Riot Brother People Wash.

  Everybody cheered.

  “Turn me on full blast!” Orville said, adjusting the sprinkler on his head.

  I turned Orville back on and Margaret and Jonathan stepped right up to get soaked and splashed.

  Quickly Amelia and I went to work. We got another hose, more buckets, a watering can, a ladder, our old baby pool, a shower curtain, and a blow-up raft and turned the whole yard into a splashy, soaky party scene.

  Alan and Selena came and joined in the fun. We played Croak-and-Soak and other water games.

  More kids came. “Hey, what’s going on?” one of them yelled.

  “It’s the Riot Brothers’ Water Park!” Alan yelled back.

  Everybody cheered for us.

  I pulled Orville and Amelia aside. “Did you hear that? Do you realize what is happening?”

  “We’re having fun?” Orville gurgled happily.

  “Yes, Orville. That means we have succeeded in our mission!”

  “We have?”

  “Of course!” Amelia patted us both on the back. “Our mission was to have fun at a water park. Although we didn’t make enough money to go to the Splash-and-Soak Water Park, we definitely invented our own water park right here, and we’re having fun.”

  “You’re right. Hip hip, hooroonie!” He threw an armful of wet sponges in the air.

  Ah, nothing like having big wet confetti landing on your head to make your day complete!

  SIX

  Slimy Gifts

  As you can tell, even though it was the hottest day on record, it turned out to be pretty cool for us. We splashed and soaked until we almost croaked. Then our friends went home, and we got a picnic lunch and stretched out on our big lawn chairs in the backyard for a well-deserved break.

  “I think our water park was better than the Splash-and-Soak,” Orville said as he washed down his peanut butter sandwich with some nice cold milk.

  “Yes,” I agreed, feeling another Riot Brother saying coming on. “Why buy a ticket to an amusement park when you can ride your own brain for free?”

  “Hey!” Amelia said. “We have three whole dollars to spend. We got two from Mrs. Kemp and one from Doom’s owner. What should we spend it on?”

  “Ice cream!” Orville said.

  Have you ever had a moment in your life that was just perfect? Well, we were about to have one.

  “I have an idea,” Amelia said. She closed her eyes, rubbed her temples with her fingers, and whispered, “Send us an ice cream truck. Send us an ice cream truck.” She opened her eyes. “Come on, guys.”

  We closed our eyes, rubbed our temples with our fingers, and whispered, “Send us an ice cream truck. Send us an ice cream truck.”

  In the distance, I began to hear a wonderful tinkling sound. I opened my eyes. Amelia and Orville opened their eyes.

  The tinkling sound grew louder and louder.

  “It’s the ice cream truck!” Orville screamed, and fell out of his chair.

  “Hip hip, hooroonie!” I yelled.

  “Works every time,” Amelia said.

  We ran to the front and bought ice cream bars and then we ran back to our picnic spot and ate them. Let me tell you, nothing tastes as good as ice cream from a truck on the hottest day of the year.

  Just as we were slurping up the last bites, Mom came out and ruined our happy mood with bad news.

  “Amelia’s mom and dad are here.”

  “Quick,” Orville turned to Amelia, “hide!”

  Mom laughed, and Amelia’s parents walked out.

  “Hey, kiddos.” Amelia’s dad shook our hands. “Nice to see you guys again. Last time you were tiny.”

  Amelia’s mom gave us kisses. But when she went to Amelia, Amelia held up her hand. “DON’T KISS ME! I think I have a disease that requires me to stay here for a few more days,” she said in a very exhausted voice, and then she slouched in her chair.

  “That must mean she really had a good time,” Amelia’s mom said to our mom. “She only gets diseases when she doesn’t want to come home.”

  Although we tried convincing them to stay, they said they were pressed for time. Their taxi was waiting.

  While Mom went to get Amelia’s bag and Amelia changed into her traveling hat, Orville and I ran inside to get a last-minute gift for our cousin.

  We all met in the front, where the cab was waiting.

  “Amelia, here is a token to remind you of us and the adventures we’ve had,” I said, and handed her a paper lunch bag.

  “Is it something delicious to eat?” Amelia asked.

  “Nope,” Orville said.

  She peered into the bag and gasped. “You’re giving me Slobber?”

  Her parents looked at each other. “Slobber?”

  Amelia pulled out our pet rat.

  “We wanted to give you something really special,” Orville said.

  “We know you’ll take good care of him,” I added.

  “Wow,” Amelia said. “This is the best thing anybody has ever given me. But I can’t take it—he’s your only pet.”

  “We want you to have him,” I said.

  “How about just for a while . . . until we see you again?” Orville suggested.

  “That’s a deal,” Amelia said. “Here . . .” She pulled some gum out of her backpack. “I haven’t even chewed this yet. If you miss Slobber, stick it all in your mouth and chew it really fast, because then you’ll slobber and that will remind you of him.”

  “Thanks again!” Amelia’s dad ushered them into the taxi. “Come visit us in Kansas.”

  “Okay,” Orville said, and began trying to squeeze into the backseat.

  “Uh—we didn’t mean to come visit us right now,” Amelia’s mom said. “How about sometime soon?”

  “Oh.” Orville looked as sad as I felt. It was hard saying good-bye to such a fun cousin.

  We stood in our yard and waved until the taxi was just a speck in the distance.

  “Look over there,” I whispered to Orville.

  Orville looked without looking as if he was looking.

  Goliath was standing in his front yard, waving after the taxi, too.

  The taxi turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

  Goliath saw us looking at him and yelled, “What are you two dorks looking at?”

  “Well,” I said, “I guess it’s back to normal around here.”

  Mom made us clean up the mess from our water park. Then we had a lonely dinner and played outside until dark.

  At bedtime, our room seemed empty without Amelia.

  Mom came to tuck us in.

  “When can we go to visit Amelia?” Orville asked.

  “I’m not sure,” she said. “But I’m glad you guys got along so well.”

  “Well,” I said, “speaking of money, I think you owe us a lot for all the hard work we did today, Mom.”

/>   “I wasn’t speaking of money.”

  “Now you are. And speaking of money, I think you owe us a lot for all the hard work we did today, Mom.”

  She laughed. “Oh? And what did you do?”

  “We cleaned and washed everyone in the neighborhood, including ourselves and even Mrs. Kemp. And we watered the garden while we were at it.”

  “Yeah, you should pay us big bucks,” Orville added.

  “In your dreams,” Mom said.

  Orville sighed. “I think I’ll dream about money tonight. Wouldn’t it be nice if dreams always came true?”

  “Sometimes they do. I had the two of you, didn’t I?” She gave us each a kiss.

  “Aw,” Orville said. “For a mom who doesn’t give us money, you’re not too shabby.”

  “Gee thanks.” Mom laughed, turned out the light, and went downstairs.

  “I miss Amelia. And Slobber,” Orville whispered.

  “Me too,” I said with a yawn. It had been a long, busy day, and I was already beginning to fall asleep.

  “I’m going to meditate,” Orville whispered. “Send us a new pet. Send us a new pet. Send us a new pet. . . .”

  I yawned and scooched around, trying to find the perfect position, when my foot touched something cold.

  If your foot ever touches something cold in the bottom of your bed, be afraid. Be very afraid.

  I jumped up, tossed off my sheet, and yelped. There was a snake in my bed!

  Orville turned on the lights, and Mom came running in.

  Curly was curled up at the foot of my bed with a little note attached to her.

  “We have a new pet!” Orville exclaimed, picking her up and kissing her.

  “Wow,” Mom said. “I never thought I’d see anybody actually kiss a snake.”

  “Well,” I said. “There is nothing like getting a fake snake from your favorite cousin to make you feel all warm and slithery inside.”

  “Bingo bongo,” Orville agreed.

  The End

  BONUS!

  RIOT BROTHER GAMES

  Pufferbelly Pointer Punt

  First, get your fingers to make some popcorn. You may eat some, but if you eat it all then you can’t play the game and you are a Pufferless Pig. Next, make up a name for your “team.” Don’t get too excited. You don’t really have a whole team. You just have your two pointer fingers, but—hey—they’re good sports. Okay, now stand across from your opponent at a table and put a piece of popcorn, otherwise known as a puffer, in the center of the table. Say, “Go!” Your goal is to make a goal.

  How do you make a goal? You must try to hit the belly of your opponent with a puffer by flicking it with your pointer finger across the table. If you do this, you get a point and your fingers get to do a victory dance. It ain’t easy, though, because your opponent will be going for the puffer at the same time. If you flick your opponent’s finger rather than the popcorn, that’s a foul and your opponent gets a free kick. If you flick a puffer off the table, your opponent gets a free car! Just kidding.

  Whatever you do, don’t argue with your opponent because grown-ups make you stop playing if you argue. Just have fun. Whoever has the most points wins. But the winner has to sweep up all the popcorn off the floor, so it’s okay to lose!

  Holey Cheese-n-Peas

  At last, a game requiring skill that you can use to play with peas! Put a piece of sliced cheese on a plate or in the bottom of a bowl. Using a straw like a little cookie cutter, cut out as many holes in the cheese as you’d like. Five or six is usually good. Put several peas on the plate and tilt the plate around, trying to get the peas to land in the holes.

  After one minute, whoever has the most peas in the holes wins. The winner gets to decide how many peas the loser has to eat. Ha!

  If you happen to be alone, you may play this game against yourself. Just keep trying to beat your old record. But if you can’t beat your old record, then you must eat peas for breakfast for the rest of your life. Ha-ha!

  Costume Countdown

  You can play this game with any number of players. Everybody gets one minute to use anything (cereal boxes, toilet paper, old clothes), to create a costume. After the minute is up, try to guess what each person’s costume is supposed to be. Special advice: If you put a cereal box on your head, make sure it is empty first.

  The Curse of the Mummy

  This game is best played just as it’s getting dark. One person is the mummy. The mummy gives everyone a curse, using this ancient curse formula.

  May _____ forevermore. . . .

  You will be cursed at the count of four.

  For example,

  May your right leg fall off

  forevermore. . . .

  You will be cursed at the count of four.

  After saying the curse, the mummy counts out loud, “One, two, three, four!” During this time, everybody must act as if the curse is coming true. On the count of four, everyone must try to tag the mummy while continuing to act cursed. For example, if the curse was that your right leg falls off, you must hop on your left foot. Whoever tags the mummy gets to be the mummy next.

  This game is especially fun if the mummy dreams up funny curses, such as: May your toes curl up. . . .

  It also is more fun if the people who are cursed do a lot of great acting with lots and lots of sound effects.

  Whatever you do, don’t play this game with a real mummy because real mummies are dead, and dead people have no sense of humor. Ha-ha-ha!

  Croak-and-Soak

  This game is best played on a hot day, when you’re dying for a way to cool off. One person—the soaker—stands in the center of the yard holding the garden hose with his or her eyes closed. The other players—the croakers—run around the yard croaking like frogs. The soaker must try to spray the croakers, using only hearing as a guide. Once you’ve hit a frog three times, that croaker gets to become the soaker. The croakers must try to make it difficult for the soaker by moving constantly.

  The game ends when everybody is hungry or when the yard turns into a swamp. After the game is over, turn off the hose, pretend it is a microphone, and tell frog jokes, such as this one: How does a frog feel when he breaks his leg? Unhoppy!

  The person who tells the most jokes is voted the Croaker Joker. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

  BONUS WATER GAMES

  The next two games are the “other water games” that we played in the water park story.

  Water Limbo

  You play limbo by trying to walk under a gradually lowering stick without touching the stick or falling down. You play Water Limbo by trying to walk under a stream of water. The sprayer sprays the hose in a steady stream. Everybody else goes under it while singing the “Water Limbo Song,” printed on page 225. Anybody who won’t sing has to go home and take a nap.

  Put-the-Tail-on-the-Whale

  This game is much more fun than pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. You need at least three people to play this game, but it’s fun with more. If you’re it, you hold the hose, close your eyes, and count to ten out loud. Everybody else links arms in a chain to form a giant whale. The first person is the head, and the last person is the tail. The whale swims quietly around the person who is it until he or she is done counting. Then, with eyes still closed, the “it” person tries to hit the rear end part of the whale with water from the hose. It’s one of the few games where being a rear end is the best part.

  RIOT BROTHER SAYINGS

  —Somehow food tastes better after you’ve had the chance to play with it.

  —Weather should be spelled whether, because you’re stuck with whatever weather you’ve got, whether you like it or not.

  —You can have fun making money. And you can make money having fun. But if you have to make money to have fun, you’re no fun.

  —Why buy a ticket to an amusement park when you can ride your own brain for free?

  THE SECRET RIOT BROTHER HANDSHAKE

  Shake right hands (keep holding). Next shake left hands (keep holding). Whisper
, “Riot Brothers Rule!” and let go when you say “rule.” Slap right hands and grunt. Slap left hands and grunt. Put your right thumb on your nose and wiggle your fingers while you say “I’m no . . .” and knock your left fists together and say “fool!” Practice this so you can do it to a fast rhythm and you’ll look cool.

  BONUS SONGS

  Do you know a couple with a new baby? Singing this song for them makes an excellent gift. Please change the words to he if the baby is a boy. If the baby is an orangutan, you may use he or she, but don’t forget to bring bananas.

  Who invented the Riot Brothers, anyway?

  MARY AMATO has written many books for children. Besides the Riot Brothers series, she is the author of the The Word Eater, which appeared on numerous state lists, Please Write in This Book, and The Naked Mole-Rat Letters. Amato lives with her family in Maryland.

  ETHAN LONG is a popular illustrator and animator for children. He illustrated Holiday House’s first graphic novel, Wuv Bunnies from Outers Pace by David Elliott, which Kirkus Reviews called “perfectly pitched to its audience.” He lives in Florida with his family.