Unknown Forces

by Samantha Hicks

“I know it hurt when Mum left, but I was still here, Dad. We could have got through it together.”

  “She was the love of my life. Until you love someone like I loved her, completely, wholeheartedly, you wouldn’t understand the devastation I felt when she walked out.”

  “Can you blame her?”

  He shook his head. “No, I guess not.”

  “I don’t get how you could cheat on her when you say you loved her so much.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “You always say that.”

  “That’s because it’s true.”

  They never spoke of when her mother left. She supposed his death sentence had loosened his tongue. Maybe it was the rum. “How long have the doctors given you?”

  “A few months if I’m lucky. If I keep drinking the way I am now, probably sooner.”

  She tried to muster any feelings about his dying, but after all these years of him putting the bottle first, she just couldn’t. “I hope you find some peace, Dad. No matter what has happened in the past, I love you and I’ll miss you.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  He was right, she probably wouldn’t. He was still her dad, but she had mourned the loss of her father years ago when he’d stopped acting like one.

  She set about cleaning up the house, the same way she did every time she came over. He had no intention of doing it, so she really shouldn’t care, but she just didn’t have it in her to leave him living in squalor. He was her dad, after all, and even if he didn’t care, she did. They didn’t speak while she worked, and she was fine with that. They had run out of things to say years ago.

  Three days later she found herself sitting at Kelsey’s kitchen table at ten o’clock at night. She had tried to forget about her father’s news, but it wouldn’t go away. She needed to tell someone and, of course, it was Kelsey whom she needed.

  “So, he only has a few months left?”

  “Yeah. He could go on dialysis and try for a liver transplant, but he’s not prepared to stop drinking. I suppose they feel he doesn’t deserve new organs if he’s just going to ruin them as well.”

  “Makes sense. How are you doing with it all?”

  “Trying not to think about it. I’ve been working longer hours, to take my mind off it, but it’s always in the back of my head. I know Mum leaving him hurt, but he was the one who cheated. I don’t understand why it made him pick up the bottle.”

  “Do you think there is more to the story? Something else happened to make him an alcoholic?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to think back, but I was ten when she left. All the memories I have before then are happy ones. I can’t remember ever seeing them argue or anything. Perhaps he did love her so much he got depressed when she left. I just don’t know, and he won’t tell me.”

  “Will you try and speak to him about it?”

  “What’s the point?” She shrugged and shook her head. “He’s determined to die now and me knowing the truth isn’t going to solve anything.”

  “Maybe not, but it would put your mind at rest.” Kelsey entwined their fingers, giving them a squeeze. “Look, I’ve known you for years and I know what happened when she left is going to bother you for the rest of your life unless you find out what occurred back then between them.”

  “Just forget it, Kelsey. I’m not going to let the past hold me back from my future. If I dwell on this I’ll end up like him, and that is the last thing I want. Spending my life grieving over situations I can’t change.”

  They looked up when Jennifer walked into the kitchen. She was wearing those damn boy shorts and tank top again, and no matter how despondent Riley felt over her dad, seeing Jennifer stood in the shadows of the night got her blood pumping.

  “Sorry. I heard voices,” Jennifer said as she came fully into the kitchen.

  Jennifer must have been listening, because she usually looked at Riley like she was a pain in the ass. The compassion in her eyes now, threw Riley off her game. After the other night, when Riley came on to Jennifer while drunk, she’d assumed Jennifer would never speak to her again. She needed to apologise for that.

  “Everything okay?” Jennifer asked.

  “Yep. Everything is great.” Riley stood, intent on leaving. She couldn’t take Jennifer’s sympathy; she didn’t know how to handle it. She needed to get out of there before she broke down in tears. She’d stopped crying over her father years ago and she wasn’t about to start now. “It’s late, I’m going to head home.”

  “You can stay here if you want,” Kelsey said.

  “That’s okay, I need to leave early for work and that’ll be easier if I don’t have two beautiful women distracting me over breakfast.” She winked at Jennifer, trying to get back on her normal footing. Flirting was the way to go, and she was pleased when Jennifer raised her gaze to the heavens.

  Chapter Nine

  Four days later Jennifer pulled her beaten-up Ford up in front of Riley’s garage. The double roller door was open, and inside, Riley was bent over the engine bay of a car she was working on. Jennifer sat there and watched for a couple of minutes, enjoying the view of Riley’s tight ass flexing in her jeans. She wasn’t one to notice such things normally; however, since Riley had come to her rescue the other week, she couldn’t stop the thoughts that plagued her mind. She shook her head, trying to dispel the feel of Riley’s hand against her cheek the other night. She needed to get her hormones under control and get her car fixed so she could get back to her normal life, a life where Riley Blake wasn’t always in her damn head.

  She got out of her car and slammed the door behind her. Riley jumped at the sound.

  “God damn it.” Riley glanced over her shoulder at Jennifer, sucking the back of her hand where she must have hit it, then walked over to the far wall to run her hand under the tap in the nearby sink.

  Jennifer moved through the garage to where Riley stood. The garage wasn’t overly big. It was wide enough to fit two cars parked side by side and had a small office off to the left. Workbenches lined three of the walls, all filled with tools and spare parts. It was clean and orderly, much like Riley herself.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Jennifer asked as she reached Riley’s side.

  Riley glanced at her, her eyes bloodshot and ringed by dark circles. Clearly she hadn’t been sleeping.

  “I’m fine, just jammed my hand on something.”

  “Let me look.” Jennifer gently took hold of her hand, noting the one-inch gash on the back.

  “You’ll get oil all over your nice suit.”

  “I don’t mind getting dirty,” she said as she placed Riley’s hand back under the tap and rubbed away the trickle of blood.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  “Wow. This is new. I expected some crass remark about being a dirty girl or something.”

  “Sorry.” Riley’s tone was despondent, and it made Jennifer’s heart clench. She didn’t think she had ever heard her sound so sad.

  “Why are you apologising? It’s nice not to want to punch you in the face for a change.” She hoped by joking she could help lighten Riley’s spirits. She could deal with a cocky, flirty Riley, but a sad and listless Riley was hard to take.

  “The world would implode if that ever happened,” Riley said, but her smile was fleeting and didn’t reach her eyes. She must be really struggling if she couldn’t even spar with her. Jennifer took the small first aid kit off the shelf by the sink and set about placing a dressing on Riley’s hand.

  “So, what’s up?” Jennifer asked as she threw away the detritus and washed her hands.

  “Just thinking about stuff.”

  “Is it about your dad?”

  “So, you were listening?”

  “It’s true what I said. I heard voices, but when I got to the kitchen and listened to how sad you sounded, I couldn’t make my feet move. I’m sorry for eavesdropping.”

  “It’s okay.” Riley shrugged a shoulder. “Kelsey probably would have told you anywa
y at some point. She never could keep a secret.” She walked back to the car she was working on, removed her tools, and shut the hood.

  “No, she wouldn’t have. I’ve known you seventeen years and I have no clue about your life. She’s never told me anything personal about you.” It was true. Jennifer had spent so much time working different jobs and bailing Riley and Kelsey out of trouble that she never had the chance to properly get to know Riley. She just knew that Riley preferred hanging around with Kelsey to being at her own home.

  “Not much to tell. My dad cheated on my mum and she left us when I was ten. Dad started drinking and has continued ever since.”

  “So that’s why you stayed with us most of the time?”

  “Dad was in no state to look after me and I had no interest in being home. When your folks died, Kelsey and I became closer and we confided in each other a lot. We felt like sisters and she was, is, the only family I have or need.”

  Riley began sorting the tools in her toolbox, clearly an attempt to end the conversation. Jennifer knew she should just let the matter drop, but she had had enough of not knowing Riley. She wanted to be her friend. She wanted to be there for her like Kelsey was. Riley had been on the peripheral of her life for nearly twenty years, and now, Jennifer wanted more.

  “I need to apologise to you.”

  Riley glanced over her shoulder, eyebrows raised. “Me? What for?”

  “I have always been jealous of your friendship with Kelsey. I felt left out.” She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts, realising the closeness of the Riley and Kelsey’s relationship stung a lot. “When my parents died, I suddenly had to grow up and take care of us, while you two were always off playing and getting into trouble. I felt like I had lost my sister and I had no one. If I had realised what was happening with you back then, I would like to think I could have been your friend too, but I was too busy being petty and jealous.”

  “I didn’t make it easy for you and I’m sorry. You lost your parents and all I could do was make your life hell.” Riley turned fully to face her, leaning back on her workbench, smirking in that sexy way she always did. “I’m sorry I put the grass snake in your bed.”

  Jennifer burst out laughing, remembering the day she had got home from her shift at the petrol station to find a two-foot snake in her bed. She had never shrieked so much in her life. Kelsey and Riley took great delight in ripping into her about how girly she sounded. “No, you’re not.”

  “No, I’m not. That was so funny.”

  “I nearly had a stroke when I saw that.” She turned serious. “So, about your dad?”

  Riley shook her head and walked to the other side of the garage, then came back with a box in her hands. “I’ve got you a new fuel sensor gauge. I’ll get her on the ramp and get it changed for you.” She put the box down and held out her hand, Jennifer assumed for the keys to the car.

  Jennifer tried to catch her gaze, but Riley kept her head down. “Riley?”

  “Please don’t.” A phone ringing interrupted them, and Riley strode away to answer the landline hanging on the wall.

  “Hello? Speaking … Okay … Right … Thank you.” She hung up the phone but didn’t move from where she stood.

  Jennifer went to her and took her hand. It was cold. “What’s wrong?”

  “My dad has had a heart attack.” She blinked rapidly a few times, and for a second or two Jennifer thought she might faint. The colour had drained from her face and she was trembling. “He’s in the hospital. They don’t think he’s going to make it.”

  “I’ll take you.” She tried to pull her along, but Riley wouldn’t move. “Come on.”

  “I’ve got work to do.”

  “Riley.” Jennifer gave Riley her most stern look, and it must have worked, because Riley said, “Okay,” and followed behind to Jennifer’s car.

  Chapter Ten

  Twenty minutes later they were walking through the emergency room. The waiting room was crowded, and Jennifer hoped they wouldn’t have to sit out here with all the crying babies and cranky adults. Riley hadn’t said a word since they left the garage, and Jennifer feared she was in shock. She pushed Riley toward the reception desk in the centre of the room. “You go see if they can find your dad’s doctor and I’ll call Kelsey.”

  “Okay.” Riley slowly walked to the desk, hands stuffed in her jeans’ pockets, shoulders slumped. She looked so broken and Jennifer had no clue how to help her. She walked back outside and pulled her mobile from her suit-jacket pocket. She speed-dialed her sister, and Kelsey answered on the third ring.

  “Kelsey? You need to come to the hospital. Riley’s dad has had a heart attack and it doesn’t look good.”

  “Shit. Okay. Can you stay there until I get there?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll be about half an hour.”

  Jennifer disconnected and went in search of Riley. She found her sitting in a relative’s room off to the side of the main emergency ward.

  “Riley? You okay?”

  Riley was staring at the floor, sitting ramrod straight, hands resting on her knees. She didn’t look at Jennifer as she said, “He’s gone. They couldn’t get his heart started again. He was too weak.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Jennifer rushed to her side and sat next to her on the uncomfortable sofa. She placed her hand on top of Riley’s and squeezed gently.

  “I only saw him four days ago. How can he be gone?”

  “Come here,” she said as she put her arm around Riley’s shoulder.

  “No, I’m filthy.”

  Riley tried to resist, but Jennifer pulled harder, hugging her tightly. “And I told you earlier I don’t mind getting dirty. You’re hurting, let me help you.”

  Riley’s strength went out of her all at once as she collapsed into Jennifer’s arms, crying hard.

  Jennifer had no idea how long they sat there, her holding Riley while she cried, before the door opened and Kelsey rushed in. She dropped to her knees in front of them.

  “Riley?” Kelsey asked. Jennifer shook her head to indicate that her father had died. Kelsey gathered Riley into her arms. Riley didn’t hesitate to be comforted by her best friend, and Jennifer was dismayed as jealousy’s ugly head reared itself again.

  “Oh, God,” Kelsey said. “I am so sorry.”

  Jennifer left the room, leaving them together. If Riley was going to talk to anyone about how she was feeling, it was going to be Kelsey. Jennifer was stupid to ever think she could have that kind of relationship with either of them. It had always been Kelsey and Riley. Even when their parents died, it was Riley whom Kelsey sought out to talk about her grief. She never went to Jennifer.

  Feeling ridiculous for even thinking about this, she headed to her car. She would fill up the tank again and try to find someone else to fix it. She doubted Riley would be in the mood to go back to work anytime soon.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Are you sure you still want to do this?” Kelsey asked Riley. They were standing in the kitchen preparing sandwiches for Kelsey’s baby shower that evening. They were expecting eight or nine of Kelsey’s friends and co-workers, and Riley could see how excited Kelsey was about it.

  “Of course. It’s your baby shower. I’m not going to let my dad spoil this for you.”

  “Riley, he died.”

  “I know.”

  “What I mean is, I don’t think he tried to ruin it on purpose.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry.” Riley put down the cling film she had just used to wrap a tray of mini pizzas. “I guess I’m not handling it too well.” She’d known her father was on borrowed time anyway, but the shock of him dying so soon had thrown her. She thought she would have time to adjust to his passing and hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly.

  “It’s only been a few days,” Kelsey said as she squeezed Riley’s shoulder. “Give it time. You may have had your differences, but he was still your dad.”

  “Thanks, you always know the right thing to say.” She didn’t
know where she would be if she hadn’t met Kelsey in their last year of junior school. Her mother had been gone a year at that point and her dad’s drinking had started in earnest. Meeting Kelsey had been the one bright spot in her life and they became fast friends.

  “I’m going to run upstairs and get my bloated ass into something more fitting of a party.”

  Riley laughed. Although Kelsey was now twenty-eight weeks pregnant, and her bump was showing, she was still slender and beautiful. “You’re not bloated, and this isn’t a party, it’s just a get together. If Jenny thinks we’re having a party she’ll have a fit.”

  “Who’ll have a fit?” Jennifer asked as she came into the kitchen.

  “No one. See you guys in a minute.”

  Kelsey left and Riley couldn’t stop her anxiety rising. She hadn’t seen Jennifer since the hospital, and her embarrassment at crying in her arms still rankled her.

  Jennifer leaned a hip against the counter, folding her arms across her chest. Riley could feel her gaze boring into her, but she refused to look at Jennifer. She didn’t want her to see her shame.

  “So, how are you doing?” Jennifer asked.

  “I’m fine. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get your car sorted, but if you bring it in again, I’ll get it done.”

  “There’s nothing to apologise for. And you don’t need to worry about the car. I took it to someone else and they did it for me yesterday.”

  Riley whipped her head up to look at her. “You went to someone else?” She didn’t know why that stung so much, but it did.

  “Well, to be fair, I didn’t think you’d be back at work so soon.”

  “What was I supposed to do? Sit around and wallow? He hasn’t been a dad to me for years, and it was only a matter of time before he died anyway.”

  Jennifer’s eyes went wide as she drew in a sharp breath. “How can you be so cold?”

  “You know nothing about me.” Riley slammed her hand on the counter. “Don’t presume you have any idea how I’m feeling. He wouldn’t want me wasting my energy mourning him. He’d want me to forget about him as soon as possible and get on with my life.”