by Ruby Rowe
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Sailor
The school day drags on like a presidential inauguration, and I’m ready to go home. The kids have regained their enthusiasm since holiday break, and I’m about to pull my hair out.
I don’t know what’s up with Madeline. It’s difficult enough that she’s a constant reminder of Jake, bringing me to tears daily, but she’s been hyper today.
She told me this morning she had a surprise but couldn’t give it to me until the end of the day. She brings me drawings a few mornings a week, so I’m not sure what her desire for delayed gratification is about.
I see her watching the clock, and the second the first bell rings, she makes a run for it, sprinting to her cubby where her backpack is waiting. I debate yelling for her to please walk, but she’s too sweet.
She skips back with a folded paper, and as I suspected, it’s another drawing. Pushing her auburn hair off her face, she grins and hands me my surprise.
“This is from Uncle Jake, but I helped him.” I freeze, minus my heart, which might beat out of my chest. “Open it, Ms. Lockwood.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I peek inside and find a drawing of a girl and boy holding hands. It’s a scene of Washington Park … a winter wonderland of white. I cover my chest and struggle to hold my tears at bay.
“Uncle Jake said he hurt your feelings and needed to say he was sorry.” She points to the words below the sweet scene she’s drawn. “See, it says, ‘I’m sorry,’ but I can’t read all the other big words.”
“I do see.” Swiftly brushing away the tears on my cheeks, I read the sentence below.
I screwed up, and I’ll do anything in my power to make it right. I love you, and I can’t lose you, doll.
“He said you might cry, and I should give you a hug.” She bounds around the desk to wrap her arms around me. “Do you forgive him? You’re supposed to forgive people when they say sorry, and Uncle Jake looked really sorry.”
I pull away, and her apple green eyes are earnest and wide as they search mine for the answer she’s eager to hear.
“Yes, I forgive him. Thank you for making me another beautiful card.”
Proudly, she grins. “You’re welcome. Uncle Jake drew the boy.”
Laughing, I stand to corral my kindergartners.
“Is your uncle picking you up today?”
“No, Mommy is.”
Disappointment settles over me, but I guess this gives me time to think about what I want to say to Jake. I do forgive him, but I need confirmation that he’s sure about his decision to come home. I couldn’t take losing him again.
***
Spotting Jake’s car as I pull into my parking space, I clear my dry throat and lower the sun visor to straighten my hair in the mirror. I look tired, and I believe I’ve developed permanent puffy eyes from the many tears I’ve shed.
Jake and I have so much to discuss, and he has to let me in so I can help him resolve the conflict with his family. If he can’t open up to Elliott and me when issues arise, he’ll always feel like the outsider.
Taking a few taxing breaths, I get the nerve to go inside. The elevator ride feels like I’m climbing Everest. It’s stealing my oxygen and taking an eternity. I think I could throw up.
Once I’m at the front door, I inhale another long breath and open it. No lights illuminate the space, so I turn on the living room lamp and drop my purse in the chair. Waiting for him to appear, I kick off my pumps.
It’s too quiet, so I pad across the living room to the hallway that leads to his bedroom. I step through the doorway and come to an abrupt stop.
Jake’s sitting on his unmade bed.
He’s here.
In his hands is one of his t-shirts I’ve been wearing, and as I survey him, I realize he’s been crying.
“You’ve been sleeping in here and in my clothes,” he says in a gravelly voice as he lifts his shirt to his nose. “I know because it smells like you.”
“It smelled like you first, and that’s why I wore it. It was the only way I could feel close to you. I missed you so much.”
Dropping the shirt on his lap, he palms his eyes and begins to cry. I stand stock-still, unsure of what to do. Seeming embarrassed but unable to stop the tears, he leans his head over on his knees, and I find the courage to walk to the bed and sit next to him.
“Jake, it’s OK.” I rub his back, and his cries subside, but his pain is still a fog hovering around us. He lifts his head and hurries to dry his eyes.
“It’s not OK. I hurt you bad, and it’s something I never thought I’d do. At least, not from some huge mistake like this.” He braves a look at me, and his swollen eyes match mine. “I’m sorry, Sailor. I’m so damn sorry.”
“I know, and I forgive you.”
“You do?”
“Jake, there has to be room for apologies in relationships or none would last. I’m sorry I said I hated you on New Year’s Eve. You know I didn’t mean it. I was hurt and confused.”
“I deserved it. I was an asshole that night. I’ve missed you, and to discover you’ve been sleeping in my clothes, crying day after day, sliced my chest wide open. I should’ve come back sooner. No, I should’ve never left.”
“All that matters is you showed up. I didn’t want you to do it until you were certain you wouldn’t leave again.”
Shifting his body to face me, he cups my cheeks.
“I won’t leave again. Being half of your world still means you’re all of mine, and that’s more important to me than anything.”
I lift his palm to kiss it. “You don’t fill only half my heart Jake. While you were gone, it felt almost empty.”
“I love you, doll.”
“I love you, too, and I have a question.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you ever going to kiss me?”
He smiles for the first time, and I feel like I liquify. All my tension fades away, and as his gentle lips touch mine, I’m complete.
Sailor
“Wake up, sweetie,” I say to Elliott as I sit next to him on his bed. Lazily, he opens his eyes.
“Morning.” His lungs unleash a coughing fit, and I swear, he needs to listen to me and go to the doctor. I can’t believe he’s a physician yet refuses to stay on top of his health.
“Jake’s back,” I say with a smile. “We fixed brunch, and I didn’t want you to miss it.”
“I saw his car when I came in last night. As soon as I discovered you weren’t in my bed, I figured he had come to his senses.”
I sigh. “I wish there were two of me.”
“I’m pretty happy with this one right here.” He squeezes my thigh, and his crooked smile, which has caught up to his loving eyes, melts my heart.
“Do you feel like eating?”
“Yeah, I didn’t have dinner last night.”
“Why?” I frown.
“I was exhausted when I came in.”
“I’m worried about you. Why don’t you get a chest X-ray? Won’t that show if you have pneumonia? I really think you might have it.”
“I’m sure I’ll be better in a week. This latest round of antibiotics should be kicking in.”
“You’re pale, tired all the time, coughing up a storm and losing weight. I don’t like it.”
“Baby, I’m good. We’ve been slammed at work, so I’m not getting long breaks to sleep or much time to eat. Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s impossible not to worry, but I’ll try for now. I better get back to helping Jake.”
“I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Leaving his room, I pad downstairs. My stomach is churning, and it’s been doing that a lot lately from all the stress.
The doorbell rings, so I hurry down the last few steps to answer it. Shit.
“Mrs. Callister, hi.”
“I’m here to see Jake.” Her lips purse and eyebrows lift. So much for thinking today could be better.
I step aside. “He’s in the kitchen. We’re about to have brunch. You’re wel
come to stay and eat with us if you’d like.”
“I don’t think so.” She strides through the living room, and I notice she’s in jeans today and short boots. She’s not removing her coat, either, and that can’t be a good sign.
“Mom, hi,” Jake says as he turns from the stove.
“I’ll take over,” I insist from behind Jeanine.
“If this is about me moving back here, we already discussed it yesterday. If you have anything else to say, you can do it in front of Sailor.”
Summoning some bravery, I move past her and stand next to Jake.
“That wouldn’t be polite,” Jeanine replies.
“Why? She already knows how you feel about her and our relationship.”
“You two can go talk, Jake. I can finish up here,” I say.
“No.” He slides an arm around my waist, so his mom digs in her heels, too, shoving her hands in her coat pockets and scowling.
“Fine. Your family doesn’t support you being here.”
“Like I’ve told you countless times, I love Sailor, and I’m not leaving her. I want to live with Elliott, too. The three of us are a family now, so you’ll have to accept it or at least keep your comments to yourself. If not, you’re going to see a lot less of me.”
“Sailor, I envisioned a different life for my son. I thought he’d marry one woman and have children. How will that work with two men? I feel like you’re robbing him of his future for your own selfish reasons.”
“Sailor doesn’t know how to be selfish,” Elliott says from the doorway, “and you’re not welcome in our home if you’re going to talk bad about her.” Jeanine spins around, and they have a staring showdown.
Elliott’s dousing her with intimidation, warning her not to say another negative word. “She’s not robbing us of anything, but if the day ever comes when we feel like she is, we’ll address it.
“Jake’s also a big boy; he doesn’t need his mother telling him what to do. You should give yourself more credit, Jeanine. If you felt confident in your parenting skills, you’d trust Jake to make good decisions.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t understand how any of you are OK with this.”
“It works for us, and I should’ve never let you put doubt in my head,” Jake replies. “Until you saw Sailor and Elliott together, you believed she loved me and that we were great together. She wasn’t pretending. Sailor gives me all I need, and I only doubted it because I had always taken your and Dad’s advice, but you’re wrong about this.”
“Jake—”
“Mom, stop. I don’t expect you to understand, but I do expect you to trust me and treat Elliott and Sailor with respect. Yes, I’d like to marry her and have kids with her, and—”
“You would?” I ask, the surprise resonating in my voice. Although Jake has talked about us being together forever, he’s never flat-out said he wants to marry me and have children with me.
A smile breaks through his stubborn expression as he glances down at me.
“Yes, and I was about to say that I have faith we’ll resolve those situations in a way that leaves the three of us happy.”
Jeanine pulls her hands from her pockets and drops them to her sides.
“All right. I’ll let this go, but if I sense you’re unhappy, Jake, I won’t be able to keep my opinion to myself. Neither will your father or Marcy.”
“I’m almost thirty. I can handle my life and all it throws my way, so you need to let me live it.”
“OK, I hear you.” Her expression is stern as she looks at Elliott and me. “Sailor … Elliott, take care.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for brunch?” I ask.
“I’m sure, but you three have a nice day together.” I catch a glimpse of her eye roll as she leaves us alone in the kitchen, but at least she’s finished dishing hurtful words.
Jake follows her to the door, and Elliott smiles as he stalks toward me.
“You’re not burning my bacon, are you?”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “You’re terrific. Thank you for taking up for us.”
“I only spoke the truth.” Winking, he reaches around me and swipes a piece of bacon off a plate. “Everything’s going to be OK. You’ll see.”
“That ended better than I expected.” Jake reappears at the doorway. “Now, let’s eat and put all this bullshit behind us.” Feeling the weight lifted off my shoulders, I load my plate and stroll to the dining room. Elliott takes a seat at the head of it, and Jake and I sit across from each other.
“All right, hold up your OJ,” he says with a wink. “I want to thank you two for forgiving me after my stint of stupidity. I was a jackass, but not having an instruction manual for this kind of relationship–my first relationship, has made it challenging for me. I’m not going anywhere again, though. I promise, so let’s toast to our future.”
“Cheers,” we say simultaneously before taking drinks.
“I’m not sure how we’ll work out the marriage part, but Elliott was generous and said you could have my baby first,” Jake says.
I spew my orange juice clear across the table at him. Picking up my napkin, I dab at my chin while my eyes bounce between the two of them.
“Um, did either of you think to ask my opinion on this?”
“We already know you want little Jakes and Elliotts running around the house. Don’t try to deny it,” Jake replies.
I shake my head. “Maybe the idea has crossed my mind.”
“Maybe, my ass. You tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll plant the seed.”
“Jesus, what’s up with you today?”
“Doll, I’m playin’. We don’t have to do it right away, but one day I hope to.”
He looks so pleased that I can’t resist reaching across the table to squeeze his hand.
“Sure, one day we’ll make this family bigger.”
Elliott clutches my knee, and I have to fight back the tears. I’m truly loved, and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Sailor
I’ve decided the New York Giants are like an alien mother ship. All its aliens (fans) are attached by this collective heartbeat, a devotion like no other, and they’re waiting to be called home with a victory.
It’s as if our home has become a stadium from the looks of all the blue jerseys. Or, maybe it’s more like a locker room of exuberant players about to take the field. In these guys’ dreams. I bet they secretly wish they were star football players. Hell, probably the women, too.
Since the Giants are in the Super Bowl against the Patriots this year, the enthusiasm in the city is off the charts, and I think our living room might burst like an eardrum from all the shouting.
To protect my own ears, I’m purposely hanging out in the kitchen and dining room where I’m providing a steady stream of food. Our place is impressive, but it’s not huge, so every room downstairs is crowded.
“Do you need any help?” Jake asks as he comes up behind me in the kitchen. He kisses my neck, his arms slithering around my waist.
“I’ve got it covered.”
“I don’t want you to miss the second half. The Giants are up by eight.”
“I’ve been watching here and there.”
“Are you sure you’re not hiding because you don’t want to see Nicole in the same room as Elliott?” he murmurs in my ear.
I shift around in his arms to face him.
“That’s not bothering me. She’s sweet, so it’s impossible not to like her.”
“Does that mean the rabid cat isn’t going to appear?”
I giggle. “Really, it’s fine that she’s here. Elliott told me all the reasons he invited her, and I was impressed by his concern for her.”
“That’s because you’re an angel in a human suit.”
I kiss his lips. “I know you’re trying to make me feel secure, but you don’t need to worry. Well, as long as she doesn’t hit on you. I’d lose my shit then.”
Pul
ling back, he cocks a brow.
“Why would you be jealous if she hits on me when you’re not jealous of her being around Elliott?”
“She’s already been with him. You’re different and all mine. Anyone interested better stay the hell away.”
He skims his thumb over my pouty lip.
“You’re so damn cute when you’re jealous for imaginary reasons. No one has hit on me in a long time. It’s like your feline scent keeps them away.”
“But you’ll tell me if anyone does hit on you, right?”
“Hell, no. I wouldn’t want to free the rabid cat.”
I swat his chest. “You’re funny. Now, go hang out with your friends and enjoy yourself.”
Piercing me with a salacious look, he clenches my hips.
“I think the hostess of this party needs to spread her hot legs for me tonight. She deserves a tip for all her hard work.”
“She’ll be ready to collect.”
“Get a room. I know you have some in this pad.” I look toward the doorway, and Harrison is leaning against the frame of it with a beer in his hand. He slides his fingers through the top of his hair while giving me an uneasy smile.
“Hello,” I reply.
“I finally found the balls to come in here and apologize to you. I’m sorry for what I said to Jake New Year’s Eve. Fortunately, he forgave me, and I hope you will, too. I was an asshole after having way too many drinks.”
“Yes, you were an asshole, but you weren’t the only guy behaving like one that night, so you’re forgiven.”
Jake covers his chest. “Ouch, Princess. I might have to forget that tip.”
“Oh, please. You’re not going to turn down an opportunity to get between my legs.”
“True that.”
A throat clears, so I look away from Jake. Nicole is smiling as she stands next to Harrison.
“Sailor, can I talk to you a minute?”
“Sure. I could afford to be around some estrogen for a change.”
“Thanks again, Sailor,” Harrison says with a nod.
“No problem. Thank you for the apology.”
Giving me a kiss on the cheek, Jake leaves the room with him.
