by Ruby Rowe
“I’m–I’m sorry,” I croak. Damn, talking hurts like a bitch.
“Stop, you need to rest your throat. If you’re wondering, Nicole went home, but she’s going to call you later to check on you. I even told her she could come by soon if she wanted.”
I reach over to touch Sailor’s cheek.
“I know you’re sorry,” she adds, “but we’re not talking about it today. I want to go home and take care of you. That’s what people in serious, committed relationships do. They take care of one another.”
She gets out of the Nissan and switches to the back seat so Jake can drive. As soon as he’s buckled in, he hands my discharge papers to her.
“There’s like a million instructions on there,” he says. “We need to watch for a high fever, and he might cough up a little blood from the procedure. Elliott, you better fucking tell us if something doesn’t feel right. No more hiding shit.”
Nodding, I close my eyes to rest on the way home.
***
“Elliott, here’s your applesauce,” Sailor says. I open my eyes, and seeing her holding the little plastic cup, I sit up on the couch. “Your discharge papers said to start with a soft diet. If you can swallow this OK, I’ll fix you some soup. Jake went to the store to grab some groceries. How’s your throat feeling?”
“Better.”
She sits next to me and touches my forehead with the back of her hand.
“It doesn’t feel like you have a fever, but Jake’s buying a new thermometer so we can keep a watch on it.”
“You don’t need to baby me.”
“Elliott, you’re a damn doctor. You know a high fever is something we should be watching for. Don’t you insist that your patients follow their discharge instructions when they leave the ER?”
Rolling my eyes, I take a bite of my applesauce.
“That’s what I thought.” Feeling Sailor’s gaze lingering, I look at her. “You can’t protect me from heartache,” she says. “I’m going to feel it again in my life, and it won’t happen only once.
“Even after Payton’s born, we won’t have total control over her safety. I’m sure you know that from the injuries you see in the ER. Accidents happen. Sickness happens. You can’t hide your illness to guard my feelings or to protect our child.”
She run her fingers through the back of my hair. “Jake and I love you, and we want to help you through this, so stop being stubborn and leave me to my rightful girlfriend duties.”
“OK. I’ll be the patient.”
“Thank you.”
“I want to find out if the baby’s mine.”
Sailor shifts farther away to face me, and I’m wondering where that sentence came from since I sure as hell didn’t plan on saying it.
“I thought we agreed not to find out.”
“I need to know … in case…”
“You’re going to be here when she’s born. End of discussion.”
“You don’t know that, and I’m telling you right now that we’re not going to pretend through all this. You can think positive all you want, but there’s a difference. We hope I’ll be here in September. We don’t know it.” Feeling my throat burn, I cough.
“You shouldn’t be talking so much. We can discuss it later.”
“No, we’re discussing it now. If you and Jake don’t want to know the results of the test, it’s fine, but I need to find out.”
Gnawing on her cheek, she stares at me, and each second feels like a lengthier unit of time.
“OK, we’ll talk to Jake about it.”
“Thank you.” I rub her arm. “Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was sick. I didn’t mean for you to hear it from Nicole.”
“I said we weren’t talking about it today.”
“Yeah, but I need to know how pissed you are.”
“Fine. If you’re determined to discuss it, we will.” Pursing her lips, she points at her chest. “I’m angry and hurt. Seeing Nicole already in that waiting room, holding all the answers to a situation I was completely in the dark about, was humiliating. I thought I was not only your girlfriend, but one of your best friends.”
“You are. I was only trying to protect you and our baby.”
“You say that, but I still find it odd you chose to tell her before anyone else and allowed her to help you with such a personal matter. It’s something you should think about.” She stands. “I need to call the school. I’m taking tomorrow off.”
As Sailor walks away, I consider what she said. If Nicole hadn’t caught me coughing up blood, I don’t believe I would’ve gone to her about my condition. For that reason, I think Sailor’s reading more into this than she should be.
Jake comes through the front door with bags of groceries.
“You’re eating. That’s a good sign,” he says.
“I’m feeling better. I’d rather be chowing down on a burger than Maddie’s leftover applesauce, though.”
“I bought you some pudding cups, too.” He grins.
Asshole.
He strides to the kitchen, and my phone rings. I pick it up from the end table and see that it’s Nicole.
“Hi.”
“I didn’t know if you would speak to me again, and I had to know, so that’s why I’m calling already.”
“Neither of them should’ve found out that way, but it was my fault.”
“I’m sorry. I was so afraid something would go wrong during the biopsy, and if it had, I never would’ve forgiven myself for not telling them.”
“I get it, and I’m sorry I put you in that position. You’ve taken all this to heart more than I expected.”
“I care about you. Are you feeling OK?”
“Yeah. I’m tired and my throat hurts, but otherwise I’m good.”
“That’s wonderful. Let me know if you need anything at all.”
Jake sits next to me on the couch and eyes me hard.
“I will. Take care.”
“You, too.” I lay my phone down and look back at Jake.
“Was that Nicole?”
“Yeah. She was checking to see if I was mad at her for telling you and Sailor.”
“What you did to Nicole was a dick move.” He glances to the kitchen and back to me. “She’s not over you, bro. Now, you’ve brought her back into your life and have her worrying about you again. I could tell it crushed her today when Sailor and I took charge of your care. She seemed lost.”
“I thought she was over me when I went to her for help.”
“I can’t even wrap my brain around why you went to her in the first place. You had to know it would hurt Sailor.”
“It’s not good for the baby when she gets upset. I thought once I finally told her, she’d understand why I did it.”
“You could’ve leaned on me.”
“I couldn’t ask you to keep a secret like that from Sailor.”
“What happened to your first child was rare. You two can’t worry every second that you’re going to lose this one, too.”
“I know. I guess keeping this news from both of you made my sickness seem less real.”
“I can see why you’d think that, but to beat this, you need a support system. Sailor and I are here for you.”
“OK, I get it.”
“Then what about Nicole? Are you going to see her again?”
“It would be cruel of me to shut her out now that you and Sailor know I’m sick.”
“Yeah, but you can’t give her the wrong impression, either.”
“I haven’t.”
“I don’t agree.”
“Well, believe what you want, but I can’t be a dick and not talk to her now that I have other people to help me. She’ll think I was using her, and I wasn’t. She’s a friend I don’t want to lose.”
He shakes his head. “I wish you could be on the outside of this looking in because from where Sailor and I are sitting, what you’ve done looks shady as shit.”
“Are you accusing me of cheating?”
“No,
man. I don’t believe you’d do that, but I can’t help but wonder if you have some lingering feelings for Nicole, and I bet Sailor’s thinking the same thing.”
“I don’t have feelings for her, so drop it. Tell Sailor I’ll be in my room.” I get up and start for the stairs. I’m dizzy, and it’s probably from the sedative they gave me this morning. This whole situation sucks, and I dread the thought of having major surgery or receiving chemo afterward.
It’s going to happen, though. I was groggy when the pulmonologist spoke to me after the biopsy, but I’ll never forget the discouraged look on his face.
Jake
“He’s asleep,” Sailor says before she gets in bed with me. “I thought I’d cuddle with you for a few minutes before I head back upstairs.”
“I imagine you’re going to want to sleep with Elliott every night now.”
“I’ll still sleep with you, too, but after his procedure, I want to keep a close eye on him.”
“It’s crazy how fast life can change, and all our lives changed today.”
“I still don’t know what to make of this whole Nicole thing, but I’m trying not to think about it. Elliott’s health is most important right now.”
“I agree.”
“I need to talk to you about something.” Sailor props herself up on her side, and I notice the boy shorts hugging her appetizing body.
More so, I can’t stop looking at her tits pushed together in a snug, low-cut t-shirt. “My eyes are up here, hon,” she says before grabbing my hand that is now massaging her boob.
“Sorry. A distraction from the stress of today would be nice about now, and you’re a tempting distraction.” Leaning over, I skim my mouth up her neck.
“Elliott wants to find out who the father is.”
I exhale loudly as my dick shrinks.
“Why?”
“He wants to know in case he doesn’t make it, but I told him he’s going to be here when she’s born.”
“She, huh?”
“He wants to name the baby now, too. What do you think about Payton? We’ll use an A for a girl and an E for a boy.”
“That’s a little Peyton Manning, don’t you think?” I grin, and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m being serious here.”
“I know, but the seriousness of today is eating me up inside.” Sliding my hand through my hair, I grip the back of it. “I like the name, and we can do the test. I don’t want to know if the baby’s mine or Elliott’s, but I’ll find out for him.”
“That’s how I feel about it, too.” Sailor’s jet eyes coat with tears, appearing as shiny as glossy, wet paint. I pull her close and hug her. “He’s going to get through this, and in the fall, we’ll be fighting over who gets to hold our healthy baby first.”
“I hope you’re right.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Sailor
The days of waiting for Elliott’s test results feel like a clogged hourglass. It’s Saturday afternoon, and the oncologist’s office called yesterday to set up an appointment for next Thursday. They believe they’ll have the results by then.
Elliott and I have napped often and cuddled while watching movies, doing anything to pass the time, but there’s still an underlying tension between us.
I’m having a hard time hiding my hurt over Nicole. I keep telling myself that Elliott would be hurt, too, if he knew the thoughts I’d been having about Jake. That’s helped, but I still find myself disappointed and jealous.
The doorbell rings, so I get up from the couch to answer it. Elliott pauses the movie we’re watching. Well, the movie we’ve been attempting to watch. My mind has sure been elsewhere.
I open the door, and speak of the devil.
“Hi,” Nicole says as she shoves a glass casserole toward me. “I wanted to drop off this lasagna. It’s about the only dish I’ve mastered.” She smiles faintly.
“Thank you.”
“I hope I’m not intruding. How’s Elliott?”
I stare at her as I debate whether to let her in.
“Come inside. You can visit with him while I do a few things in the kitchen.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep.”
No, I’m not sure, lady who used to let my man in her back door. Taking the lasagna, I wait for her to pass by me. Elliott’s eyes widen as they flit between us.
“Nicole made us dinner. I’m going to put it in the fridge, and clean up the kitchen, while you two chat.”
I try to smile. I really do, but it’s tight-lipped as I leave them alone. Jake better get home soon from visiting his parents. I need a distraction before I change my mind and get hold of the kitchen knives.
I do my best to ignore Nicole’s voice. I rearrange the refrigerator and clean some of the shelves inside. The stovetop is next, along with the counters and sink. I’m sweating by the time Jake strolls in with the same surprised expression Elliott was wearing.
“Why is she here?”
“She dropped off a casserole.” I roll my eyes. “I decided to play nice and let her visit.”
“Elliott’s probably about to piss himself, wondering what you’ll have to say about this.”
“It’s OK. She’s a friend, right? He lets few people into his circle, so I don’t feel right kicking her out of it.”
Jake takes the washcloth I’m holding and drops it in the sink.
“The condo was cleaned yesterday. You’re beet red and sweating, so why don’t you take a break?”
“I don’t need one. How are your parents?”
“Good today. They softened up once I told them about Elliott.”
“We have to tell them about the baby, too.”
“I know, but since we’re finding out who the father is, we might as well give them all the news at once.”
“I guess you’re right.” Hearing the front door shut, we look at each other. “This is awkward. You go talk to him while I finish up in here,” I say.
“He’s going to ask me if you’re mad.”
“How can I be mad after the feelings I was having about you less than a week ago?”
“You’re not feeling that way now, though, right?”
“I don’t know up from down these days, but Elliott’s sick. Even if I were feeling that way, it wouldn’t matter now.”
Nodding as if he gets what I’m saying, he leaves the room.
Jake
“How are you feeling?”
“Is she mad?”
I laugh. “I told her you’d ask me that.”
“Is she?”
“No. She doesn’t love Nicole being around, but she’s not mad.”
“I told her not to come back.”
I sit in the chair. “Why did you do that?”
“It’s not fair to Sailor. It’s only been like five months since Nicole and I stopped seeing each other. It would be different if we were exes who’d been friends for years.”
“I agree, but you look upset about it.”
“I feel bad. She looked hurt. I did tell her I’d keep her updated on my health. She’s sweet, you know? I should’ve realized how great she was a long time ago.”
“Yeah, but then you wouldn’t be with Sailor.” If he could only hear the words that keep coming out of his damn mouth. Thank fuck Sailor hasn’t heard them.
“True.”
“I heard we’re naming our girl Payton with an A. I’m really hoping it turns out to be Peyton with an E. I’ll already have to witness Maddie dating one day. I sure as hell don’t want a daughter getting poked by a know-it-all, punk ass, shit stain, douchebag with a rock god name like Atticus. Or worse yet–what if he’s an older, pretentious fuck named Miles who wants to jet her off to Europe when she’s eighteen, and we find out after they’ve eloped that he’s a Patriots fan?”
Busting out laughing, Elliott slings his head back and cackles until he has a coughing fit. I’d feel bad if it wasn’t for the fact that he thinks I’m joking.
“This isn’t funny. Having a dau
ghter will wreck me.”
“What did you say to get him laughing like that?” Sailor asks with a smile as she strolls up to the couch.
Elliott clears his throat. “Jake said he hopes he has four daughters, each two years apart, and he wants to give them stripper names.”
“What?” Sailor asks, displaying a bewildered expression.
“He’s full of shit. I’m terrified to have a daughter, so I told him Peyton better be spelled with an E.”
“You two are so bad, but I’m glad to see you smiling about our baby rather than being angry.”
“Doll, we shouldn’t have to keep telling you we’re happy. No matter who the biological father is, this kid will have two dads who will kick Atticus’ ass when he shows up on our doorstep.”
“Huh?”
“Baby, don’t listen to him. Come here.” Elliott pats the spot next to him on the couch. “You’ll be relieved to hear I told Nicole not to come back.”
Sailor grips her hips as she stands in front of him.
“Why would you do something so cruel?”
His eyes dart to mine, and I snicker.
“I thought you’d be happy.”
“After everything she’s done, you can’t box her out now. Yeah, I don’t want to host a sleepover for her, but she’s nice and only concerned about you. Besides, you could afford to have some more friends.”
“You’re one to talk.”
“Hey, I’m hanging out with Naomi.”
“Now, that’s the kind of daughter we don’t want,” I interject.
Sailor shakes her head. “Men... Elliott, tell Nicole you’re sorry and that I said it’s fine if she wants to drop by sometimes. Maybe we should even have her over one night to play cards.”
“And women wonder why we don’t understand them,” Elliott replies, looking at me. Climbing into his lap, Sailor kisses his cheek.
“I’m not going to be the jealous girlfriend, especially when I have two boyfriends.”
“Truth,” I say through a cough. I grin at Sailor, and she rolls her pretty eyes. At least we’re having some fun amidst all our troubles.
