by Ruby Rowe
“Elliott?”
“Sorry. I don’t know the best way to say this, and I don’t know how you’re going to react.”
“I have no idea what it could be, but you can tell me anything.”
I attempt to reposition myself in my chair, and the pain from my chest steals my breath.
“Are you OK?”
I gradually exhale. “No, but I will be. Fuck it. I’m just going to say it. I like you.”
“Like me… I don’t understand.”
“I like you as more than a friend.”
“What? No.”
“Yeah, I do.”
She rubs her forehead. “So, what you’re saying is, you brought me to the home you share with your girlfriend, who happens to be pregnant with your baby, to tell me that you have feelings for me.”
“Damn, it sounds bad when you put it that way.”
“Oh, my God, are you trying to make me a homewrecker or expand this three-way relationship you’re a part of?”
“Neither. Christ, that thought never crossed my mind. This relationship with Jake and Sailor was nothing any of us wanted. We only did it because we didn’t know any other way to handle our situation.”
She shakes her head. “After you ended our two years of casual dating, I cried for weeks. I loved you, and when I finally thought I was moving on, you sucked me back in, but I don’t want it. You’re not single, you’re expecting a child, and you still love Sailor, right?”
“Calm down.”
“No. You’re an asshole for doing this to me.”
I furrow my brow. “I told Sailor you’d react this way.”
“You two discussed this?”
“Yeah. She and Jake know, and they told me to figure out if I wanted to be with you. I do love Sailor, but I don’t know what kind of love it is anymore.”
Heavy tears begin to fall, and Nicole’s hurt stares back at me. How do I dig my way out of this fuckup? “I’m sorry. I know you deserve better than a situation this complicated, but I’m not the man I was when we dated before.”
“I’m aware of that, but I can’t have my heart broken again, either.”
“I wanted to bury my feelings to protect you and Sailor, but it wouldn’t have worked. I like you too much.”
Grabbing her purse and jacket, she stands and brushes away her tears. She’s going to draw up her strength and fight this. She’s too strong a woman not to.
“Tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do with this news?”
“I’m asking you to spend time with me to see if there’s something more between us than before.”
“More…?” She grips her hip. “There was more on my end before.”
“I’m sorry. My timing couldn’t be worse, but I’ve changed. I’m only asking you to hang out with me. I don’t need you to take care of me while I’m sick, and I’m not looking for sexual favors. I’m only asking for your company.”
“I need time to think. I have to go.” She bolts for the door before I can plead my pathetic case any longer. Once again, I’m groveling to a woman for a second chance.
Maybe it was always supposed to be Nicole, but I couldn’t see beyond my past. I needed Sailor to forgive me for it first. The problem is, Nicole shouldn’t have to risk her heart again all because I’ve worked through my baggage.
Jake
“You were quiet in the limo, and you’ve barely touched your one hundred dollar plate dinner,” I say as I lean in to Sailor at the reception. “Are you feeling OK?”
Turning her head, she gazes into my eyes. “I love you.”
I give her a crooked smile. “I love you, too, doll.” The flickering light from the candle on our table illuminates her ebony irises. How did I get so lucky to look at eyes this soulful?
“Dance with me,” she says. I listen for the song… It’s “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele. Taking her hand, I lead her to the dance floor, and as I pull her close in the crowd, I get an even better look at her gorgeous face.
The strands of lights hanging above us showcase her smooth skin and button nose. Fuck, will I ever not be lovesick for this woman?
I bared it all to Sailor during the wedding. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I couldn’t stop staring at her or experiencing intense feelings. I wanted to marry her on the spot.
I clasp her chin. “I freaked you out during the ceremony, didn’t I?”
Shaking her head, she smiles shyly. “No. Listen to the words of this song and hold me. I want you to feel my love the way I felt yours during the wedding.”
She presses her lips against mine for a beat. “I’ll make sure you feel it even more once we’re alone.” I hold her closer, like she requested, and we sway to the music. I do feel her love. I feel it like I never have before.
***
After kicking off her heels at the side of the bed, Sailor says, “Unzip me.” We’ve been like a furnace turned up too high since we slow-danced at the reception.
Only a few songs later, we were calling a cab, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other on the way to our apartment.
Moving her hair to the side, I gradually unzip her bridesmaid dress and press kisses to her shoulder as my hands inch their way down her back. She shudders from my touch and reaches up to run her fingers through my hair.
“I love you,” she whispers. Sailor has said those words more times than I could count since the wedding.
I whisper back, “I love you, too” and slide her dress over her shoulders. She takes over, working it off, so I remove my clothes, as well.
She reaches behind and unhooks her bra, letting it fall to the floor. After examining her marvelous tits, which are a good handful now, I massage them and play with her nipples. Damn, her whimpers cause my dick to ache.
Becoming eager, she skirts her panties down her legs and kicks them off. She takes my hand and pulls me down on the bed next to her.
“All that you were feeling during the ceremony, I felt it too,” she says, “and I’ll never question your commitment to me again. I know you’ll never leave.”
I kiss her lips. “No, I won’t.”
Leaning over the side of the bed, she fishes around in her overnight bag and surprises me with a black velvet ring box.
“Happy Birthday.”
Smiling, I take it from her and open it. Inside is a silver band, and as soon as I remove it, I spot the black anchor etched into it.
“Damn, thank you.”
“The inside is engraved, as well.” I hold it closer and read the words Forever Yours, Sailor. “Do you like it?”
Sliding it onto my finger, I cover her naked body with mine.
“I love it.”
“You’re my anchor, and the feelings you conveyed to me during the ceremony only solidified that this was the perfect gift for you. Your love’s unwavering, and when I’m losing hope, you smile and make me laugh to remind me of all life has to offer. I know you’ll always be my anchor through the storms.”
Swallowing my emotions, I crash my lips to hers and claim her sultry mouth. There’s fire within us, a desperate yearning burning like the hottest coals. I nip at her lower lip and kiss the corners of her mouth.
“You’re my anchor, too.”
Her eyes, veiled by lust and love, stare at me earnestly.
“If only on your birthday, I want you to believe I’m solely yours. Close your eyes and make a wish, and I promise to make it come true.”
I capture her lips again and taste every speck of her sizzling mouth. I skim mine down her body, leaving kisses behind until I taste her pussy.
Sailor’s dripping for me, her whimpers inviting me in, and as we lace our fingers together, I lap up her juices and lick her incessantly.
I eat her pussy until her knuckles are white between mine and she’s bucking against my hungry mouth. I suck on the hood of her clit, holding her prisoner to the pleasure.
“Jake, I’m already going to come.” Her eyes roll back, and she convulses. Sailor’s at my me
rcy as she rides out the ecstasy and waits for it to let her go. “That was…”
“Fantastic is what that was,” I say. Moving up her body, I kiss her passionately. She loops her arms around my neck and caresses my tongue, tasting herself.
It’s the hottest shit ever, and I can’t resist settling between her legs and thrusting right into her. Fuck, she’s so soaked around my cock, her pussy allowing me to slide right in.
Pressing my head against her collarbone, I rock against her, savoring the feel of every tight stroke. She plays with my hair, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be.
I sink even farther as she wraps her legs around my hips. “Damn, you feel so good,” I mutter before I lift my head to look at her.
Like at the reception, the bedside lamp lights up her dark eyes enough for me to appreciate them. She’s so goddamn beautiful.
Moaning, she tilts her head back, and I kiss down her throat as she clamps down on my cock. Repeatedly, she squeezes her muscles, her orgasm triggering mine, and we climax together.
Holy shit…
Lying on top of her scorching body, I study our tandem breaths and wonder how after meeting woman after woman, it was this one I couldn’t live without. I love her, and for tonight, her heart–body–and soul are mine to own.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Elliott
“You’ve been quiet since Sailor and I got home this morning,” Jake says, and it’s probably because I’ve been staring at the television for an hour, not saying a word to him.
Sailor only said hi before she darted upstairs, seeming like she couldn’t get away from me fast enough. “Did Nicole come over?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That means you told her. Is she going to talk to you again?”
I exhale dramatically. “The detective in you gets real fucking old. She tore out of here, saying she needed to think. She’s pretty pissed at my timing, and I can’t blame her.”
“Do you want to see her again?”
Not taking my eyes off the television, I say, “Yeah, I do. A lot. Then, I saw Sailor come through that door this morning, and I felt like a total dickhead for seeing Nicole. I promised I’d never hurt Sailor again. This will crush her.”
“The way she’s so emotional makes her seem weak, but you and I both know she’s not. Sailor’s strong, and even though it would hurt her, she would respect your honesty and decision. She wants you to be happy, bro, but after being abandoned years ago, she can’t be blindsided again. You have to keep her in the loop so she can prepare for the hurt.”
“Fuck, I feel like I have no control over my life. Either choice is going to be the wrong one in some way.”
“I bet Nicole will come around, and then you can sort this out. For now, focus on your health.”
“Maybe. I need some fresh air. Could you open the sliding glass door to the terrace for me?”
“Are you sure you can sit in one of those chairs?”
“I won’t stay out there long, Nurse Jakey. Being cooped up in this place is driving me crazy.”
Jake wasn’t happy when he got home and found out I had cancelled my nursing care for today. I swear, I’m putting an end to all that shit soon. I only agreed to it to appease my mother, but I needed a break today.
Jake helps me out to the terrace, and since the weather’s nice, we leave the door open so I can get back inside easily.
“I’m gonna go work out and check on Sailor,” he says. “She’s been acting strange this morning.”
“Yeah, I noticed. Do you think she’s wondering about my time with Nicole?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have my phone on me if you need anything.”
“Thanks.” He leaves me alone, and I gaze out at Washington Park, wishing I could go for a run. I think about how Sailor hasn’t come downstairs. Even if we wanted things to go back to normal between us, I’m unsure we could make it happen.
I pick up my phone to text her.
Me: How was the wedding?
Sailor: Great … magical…
That wasn’t the response I expected from her since she doesn’t care for that crowd.
Me: That’s cool. Are you OK today?
Sailor: I have a lot on my mind.
Me: Is it about me seeing Nicole yesterday?
Sailor: That’s part of it. How did it go?
Me: I told her how I felt, and she freaked out like I expected.
Sailor: Did you come to any realizations?
I stare at her question. Why did I open myself up for it?
Me: Maybe we should talk about it face-to-face.
Sailor: Not today.
She’s hurting, and I’m an asshole. I lie my head back against the chair and let the sun beat down on me. I don’t want to go back inside to my depressing chair where I’ll eventually see the pain on Sailor’s face.
Sailor
“I’m going for a drive,” I say to Jake as he lowers his weights onto the rack of his weight bench.
“Where to?”
“I said I’m going for a drive.” I sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound bitchy. I need some time to myself, but I’ll be back later.”
He sits up, and the sweat sliding down his exquisite shoulders and biceps turns me on. I grimace.
“What’s that look for?”
“You’re too irresistible sometimes.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “That sounds like a good thing for the both of us.” Grabbing my hips, he yanks me close. “Get sweaty with me. Then, we can shower together.”
“I can’t. There’s something I need to do first.”
“I must not be too irresistible then.” He should get a ticket every time he brandishes that boyish, heart-stirring grin. Maybe twenty dollars a pop and an additional five dollars when the dimples appear.
“I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
“Don’t I know it.” I grin back at him before I lean over to kiss his salty mouth. “I’ll be back soon.”
***
I thought the unique relationship I’m in with the guys was going to be the boldest thing I ever did. This might have it beat. Purging a deep breath, I ring the doorbell. For some stupid reason, I begin counting, too, and it takes eight seconds for Nicole to answer the door.
“Sailor. What are you doing here?” She covers her chest. “Is Elliott OK?”
“Yes, he’s fine. Can I come in to talk for a minute?”
“Sure.” She backs away, and her black yoga pants make her legs appear even thinner, which also makes them look longer. I didn’t think that was possible. At least her loose sweatshirt isn’t showing off her stellar rack.
“Please excuse the way I look. I clean the house on Sundays.”
“You’re always beautiful, and as you can see, I’m not put together today, either.”
She tucks fallen strands of her messy updo behind her ear before she holds her hand out toward the hallway.
“Thank you. Let’s go sit in the living room. Would you like anything to drink?”
“No, thanks.” I look around her tidy space as I take a seat on her sofa.
“What did you want to talk about? First, did Elliott give you my address?”
“No.” I blush. “He never would’ve given it to me. It’s stalkerish, I know, but I found it online by way of your phone number. I really needed to see you.”
She smirks. “OK. What’s up?”
“I heard Elliott told you how he feels.”
“He did, but it might be even stranger that you came here to talk about it.”
“I can’t argue with you there. Look, please give Elliott a chance.”
“If you want me to, it means you don’t mind. Why is that?”
“I can’t be with him romantically anymore, and I think he feels the same about me.” The lump in my throat makes it near impossible to breathe. I look away before I say my next words for the first time.
“I discovered I l
ove Jake more. I’ve been questioning it for a while, but last night, I couldn’t avoid feeling it. I love Elliott, but I can no longer be in a relationship with both him and Jake.
“Things began to change after he saw you again, especially once he found out he was sick and began spending more time with you. Jake and I started growing closer, too, since Elliott was shutting us out. A chain of events led us here, and I feel like it’s no one’s fault.” I look back at her. “But, it can’t be ignored any longer, either.”
“That’s a lot to digest.”
“Elliott fell back in love with me, but I think he always still loved you, too. He needed to work through his shit to realize it.”
“What if I give him a chance and he changes his mind?”
“I wouldn’t encourage you to see him if I thought he would.”
“What if he’s only doing this because he suspects you’re going to leave him?”
“He doesn’t know how I feel about Jake.”
She gives a sympathetic smile. “He suspects it, Sailor. He does.”
“Maybe, but what I’m sure of is neither of us wants to break the other’s heart.” As the tears well up in my eyes, I place a hand over my belly. “I know he and our baby are a package deal, but I couldn’t ask for a kinder woman to be around my child. Please, give Elliott a chance. I know you’re the one he wants.”
Jake
“Babe, what’s wrong? I thought we had the best time at the wedding, and especially last night, but you’ve been distant all day,” I say as I lie next to Sailor in bed. “Are you regretting telling Elliott to spend time with Nicole?”
Sailor shifts onto her side and props herself up on her elbow.
“I went to her house today.”
“Why?”
“To convince her to give Elliott a chance.”
“That was a bold move and one I don’t understand.”
“We’ve discussed this.”
Lacing my hands behind my head, I stare up at the ceiling.
“Please don’t get mad at what I’m about to say, but it seems like you’re trying to play matchmaker.” Sailor doesn’t reply, and the silence irritates me. I need answers. “I get that you want to know where Elliott stands, but what you’re doing feels like something else.”
