Born To Love (Jasper Lake Book 1)

by Leah Atwood

  That said, she wasn’t completely naïve. Landon barely counted as a friend, let alone a boyfriend. He only stopped by Jasper Lake, and that hardly qualified him as significant other material. Regardless, she’d enjoy whatever time she had with him.

  The message…get back to the message. She held the screen up to see what he’d sent and immediately cringed. It didn’t sound good.

  —Still willing to be a listening ear?

  —Of course. What’s up?

  —Dad and I had a blowup this morning. Not pretty. At all.

  Just as she’d feared once she’d viewed his situation through realistic glasses. —What happened?

  —Too complicated for texts. Gran goes to bed around eight. Any way you could meet up tonight?

  —Come to Addy’s, and we’ll have a coffee nightcap.

  —She’s open that late?

  —Not exactly, but I live here. It’s fine. Mrs. Addy didn’t mind visitors as long as they didn’t disturb other guests, but there were plenty of rooms on the first floor to enjoy a quiet conversation.

  —Oh. Are you sure you don’t mind? I shouldn’t bug you, but I’ve put on a good act for Gran all day since it happened. If I can’t vent to someone, I’ll lose it and ruin the weekend.

  —I’m sure. Promise. Mrs. Addy locks the doors for non-guests at eight, so text me when you get here, and I’ll let you in.

  —Thanks. Appreciate it.

  —You’re welcome. By the way, red velvet or german chocolate?

  —Huh?

  —Cake, goof. Which do you prefer?

  —German chocolate. Why?

  Well, they had opposite tastes in cake, but that was fine. German chocolate tasted good, too, even if it held no comparison to her beloved red velvet. —I might be able to sway Addy on which flavor to bake today.??

  —You don’t have to go to that trouble.

  —It’s not.

  —Gran’s ready to leave for lunch. We’re heading to the diner before going to visit several antique stores and Theodore Magnus’s cabin. Any chance you can join us as a buffer???

  —Tempting, but you know it’s best to do this on your own for now.

  —I know, I know, but it was worth a shot. I’ll touch base later this afternoon about tonight.

  Laying her phone aside, she closed her eyes, said a brief prayer. Dear Lord, I don’t know what happened between Landon and his father, but I pray they can find peace with each other. Amen.

  Conviction collided with her chest. Okay, okay. She closed her eyes a second time and amended her prayer. And help me to find unity in my family, as well. If I am to be the peacemaker, then show me the way.

  Goodness, that was a heavy prayer she hadn’t expected. Had she meant it? She’d have to ponder on that. Sure, she wanted her family unit restored, but was she willing to be the one to do it? She rubbed her neck. That was a question without a clear answer. It required forgiveness, and she had a road to travel before she reached that point.

  ***

  When the credits began to roll, Jessa turned off the movie she watched. She hadn’t expected to cry, but when the sweet golden retriever ran away and was found by the heroine’s long-lost boyfriend whom she’d lost contact with when he went away to war, the tears flowed. As the couple reunited after forty years apart, the tears came in buckets. She’d always been a sucker for happy endings, even the bittersweet ones.

  She grabbed another tissue and dried her face. What would it be like to love someone so deeply, that their love didn’t fade after forty years of separation? Many couples today couldn’t stay in love while together, let alone being miles from each other with no contact.

  Her phone buzzed, and she read the message from Landon. —Is now still a good time?

  When had it gotten so late? The movie started at five-thirty. She’d thought it’s length said two hours, but she must have read the time wrong because it had lasted for three. —Sure.

  —Be there in twenty.

  Eek. She’d spent the last thirty minutes crying like a baby, and now she’d have to see Landon? She jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face. It did little to disguise the fact she’d been crying. Unless she wanted Landon to see her looking like a splotched tomato, she’d have to apply makeup, and a dusting of powder wouldn’t cut it.

  She applied a light coat of makeup, barely enough to cover the red. Forgoing lip color, she chose a simple lip gloss instead and passed on mascara. Although she didn’t want to see him with tear streaks down her face, she didn’t want him to think she’d gone out of her way to impress him. A girl had some pride.

  Her hair remained in the ponytail she’d put it in earlier. She never went back and dried her hair so the hairstyle would remain. Same with her outfit. Jeans and a sweatshirt weren’t the most stylish in her wardrobe, but they were comfortable and unassuming.

  She slipped her feet into a favorite worn pair of Chucks and went downstairs to put the coffee brewing. Peeking in the fridge, she spotted gingerbread flavored creamer, traditional, and pumpkin spice. Tis the season for autumnal deliciousness. She left them in the cold until needed, but at least she knew the options to offer.

  Two wide slices of german chocolate cake waited on the counter, covered with plastic wrap. Even though it wasn’t her favorite, it took all her self-control to resist a piece after dinner. Mrs. Addy tried a new recipe for the frosting and had asked Jessa to sample it. She’d blended the coconut and pecan before mixing the remainder of the frosting ingredients. The result was a smoother texture that Jessa found more enjoyable.

  A text from Landon came though, letting her know he’d made it there and was waiting outside on the porch. She left the kitchen, walked past the bathroom and formal parlor, and into the foyer. She twisted the deadbolt and opened the door.

  Landon stood with slumped shoulders. Extra creases formed at the corner of his eyes and his demeanor could only be described as beatdown. “Thanks for letting me come over.”

  “I’m glad you called. Come in.” She led him through to the small library/office. “Wait here and I’ll bring the cake and coffee. What do you take in it?”

  “Black is fine.”

  “No creamer? We have the fun seasonal flavors.”

  “I’m good, but thanks. Need any help getting it?”

  She shook her head. “Sit and relax. It won’t take more than a minute.”

  After he settled into the overstuffed, pink armchair, she strode to the kitchen and prepared everything on a tray to carry to the library. When she walked back in, Landon was browsing a row of books.

  He turned around at the noise of her approaching. “Did you know many of these are signed?”

  “No, but I’m not surprised.” She set the tray on an end table and joined him at the shelf. “Addy loves books. Before she took over the bed and breakfast, she worked for a publishing company for a decade.”

  “Do you read a lot?”

  She shrugged. “When I get the time. I’m not an avid reader, but I enjoy a good story now and then. I read a lot more when I was younger. You?”

  “I never read much, but my family started buying me audiobooks since I’m on the road a lot.”

  “What type do you listen to?”

  “Thrillers and mysteries mainly, some non-fiction. I like true crime, but I discovered I have to limit those because I have a cynical nature already.”

  “You don’t say.” She softened the comment with a wink.

  He chuckled, taking the comment in the lighthearted way she’d intended. “Hey, all things considered, I turned out pretty well. We’re all allowed a flaw or two.”

  “Or three or four in my case.”

  His brows arched. “I doubt you’re any more flawed than anybody else.”

  “I think that’s a compliment?”

  “Let’s call it an assurance.” He turned on his killer smile. “If I’m going to hand out a compliment, there will be no mistaking it.”

  Her cheeks warmed. Would
she soon be the recipient of one of those compliments? “Ready for cake and coffee?”

  “That answer is always yes.”

  “A man after my own heart.” She laughed. “One of those flaws I mentioned is a deep abiding love for anything with sugar in it.”

  “We all have our vices.”

  “What’s yours?” She crossed the room, returning to the chairs.

  “Don’t laugh, but chocolate milkshakes.” He sat down in the same chair he’d claimed earlier.

  “Why would I laugh?”

  “It seems so childish. Most men have a beer to kick back and relax with, but I don’t drink.”

  “It’s not childish at all. Much better than resorting to alcohol.” She handed him a slice of cake with a fork and his coffee.

  “When one of your best friends has been killed by a drunk driver, it makes you stay far away from the stuff.”

  Ouch. She couldn’t blame him for the resentment in his tone, but what would he think about her if she opened up about Hunter? For now, she’d keep silent. She didn’t want the friendship to end before it had a chance to really begin. “That’s tough.”

  “Life lessons learned early in life.” He uncovered the cake and forked a bite to his mouth. “This is amazing.”

  “Mrs. Addy makes the best cakes. She said she’ll teach me one day if I want.”

  “Do you bake at all?”

  “The only cakes I make are out of a box.” She sipped her coffee. “My mom did teach me her chocolate chip cookie bar recipe though, and I can hit that out of the park.”

  “Gran is the best cook. When we were younger, she’d make homemade bread often and always had a homemade treat waiting when we got home from school.” He took another bite, his eyes taking on a faraway glaze. “Before Granddad died, he made it a point to do something special with each of us kids individually. Sometimes it was tinkering on his cars, working on the garden, and on extra special occasions, he’d take us for ice cream. We’d sit at the table, and I’d have his undivided attention while I talked about my day and drank my milkshake. That’s probably why they’re my vice now—they take me back to good memories.”

  “Makes perfect sense.”

  “Did your family have any special traditions?”

  “The normal, I guess.” She didn’t want to talk about her family, not now. Tonight was about helping him. “Growing up, I didn’t think we were anything special, but when I look back, I see the little things my parents did to make it memorable.”

  “Like what?” He took another bite of cake, and when she still didn’t answer, he elaborated. “Remember my childhood was atypical, so I’m curious what a normal one looked like.”

  “My parents made us sit every night for a time of family devotion and prayer. We always complained about it, but it brought us together. Every other Saturday, my dad would take all us kids out for the morning to give my mom a break.” The memories of those outings made her smile. “I thought every dad did that. Little did I know.”

  “How many siblings do you have?”

  She coughed. “One brother and two sisters.”

  “You don’t talk about them much.”

  “There’s not much to say.”

  His mouth twisted into a frown. “I find that hard to believe.”

  “We’re not here to talk about me.” She stretched her arm and nudged his shoulder. “What happened with your dad?”

  He took the bait, but with questions remaining in his eyes. “I’m not sure how it started. One minute we’re on the porch, taking in the view, and the next he’s accusing me of being a poor excuse of a Christian.”

  “Isn’t he the one who abandoned you?”

  “Right?” He threw his arms up. “That’s what I said, then he yammered on about how he’s a changed man and I should forgive him, blah, blah, blah.”

  “What happened to prompt that accusation?”

  Landon glanced away, but not before she saw the sheepish scrunch of his features. “He thanked me for inviting him and mom on the trip and told me it meant a lot that I was reaching out to reconcile.”

  “Please don’t tell me you told him Gran made you.”

  “I might have.” He looked up and ran a hand through his hair. “He caught me off guard, and it came out before I could catch myself.”

  “And he didn’t take it very well?”

  “I may as well have slapped him across the face.” One of his hands curled into a tight fist. “He teared up. I’ve never seen my dad show emotion like that. It was weird.”

  She considered her next words carefully, debated not saying them but decided they needed to be said. “Maybe he’s truly changed.”

  He shook his head with unsuppressed vigor. “That’s what he wanted me to think. It’s all an act, and I let him know as much.”

  A clear replay of the argument was coming into view. “Can I ask a question?”

  “Go ahead. You’ve been asking.”

  “Why are you convinced he can’t change?” She thought of Hunter sitting in a prison cell. She wanted—had—to believe he could turn his life around, that one poor decision—albeit a very, very, poor one—wouldn’t define his life.

  “He had twenty-plus years to come around. Same with Mom. Nothing changed after Granddad’s death, but I’m supposed to believe Gran almost dying provided a grand catalyst for turning over a new leaf?” He snorted. “Yeah, and I have oceanfront property in Arizona.”

  “I wouldn’t be too quick to write them off.” She lifted the coffee mug and cupped it with both hands. “Is it your mom or dad that’s Gran’s child?”

  “Dad.”

  “Are your mom’s parents in the picture at all?”

  “They passed before my mom and dad met.”

  She sipped the coffee, again contemplating her words carefully. “When your grandfather died, they still had Gran. But with her near death, it could have made them realize she’s all they had left parentally.”

  “I don’t know.” He breathed out a heavy sigh. “You could be right, but my gut says otherwise.”

  “Regardless, you feel bad about what happened, don’t you?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to, but I do. Until now, I’ve managed to stay respectful by keeping a distance. I knew this would happen, which is why I didn’t want them on this trip.” A dry smile appeared. “That, and I plain didn’t want to be around them.”

  Did he want more of her advice or only an ear to listen? He seemed receptive so far to what she’d said, so she pushed her luck. “What would you like to see as the resolution of this argument?”

  Unexpected to her, Landon burst into laughter. “I’m sorry, but that sounded exactly like a question the childhood therapist would ask. Gran took us several times in elementary school when Archer and I acted out, thinking it had to do with our parents’ abandonment, but it was us being boys.”

  She grinned, thankful for a shift in mood. “Good to know I have another career path if I choose to switch.”

  “You would do well as a therapist. You’re a good listener and care about what I’m saying, even if I’m a big idiot.”

  “I never said that.”

  “No, but as I’ve been telling you about what transpired, I realized how pompous I’ve been.”

  “In what ways?” Though she had an idea, she wouldn’t presume.

  “My parents are still my parents, whether they acted the part or not. And while I’m not ready to accept that they’ve changed, that gives me no right to speak to my father like I did.” He frowned. “My grandparents lived by the ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’ philosophy. I failed big time.”

  “You’re human. It happens.”

  “The worst part is that in my heart, I know I said what I did to hurt him. It didn’t slip out like I claimed. I saw the opportunity to inflict a fraction of the pain he caused me, and I took it. He’s right.” He wrung his hands during a drawn-out pause. “I’m a terrible person. Not that I ever claimed to be a gr
eat one, but this was bad.”

  “Sounds to me like you know what you have to do.”

  “Do I?” He grinned, but his eyes still reflected the heaviness of heart he’d expressed. “I don’t want to apologize. It stinks, big time, especially when he’s the one who’s done me wrong so many times.”

  “I know.” She leaned back in the chair and tucked a leg under her lap. “I’ve done my share of apologizing that didn’t seem fair, but when it’s right, it’s right.”

  “Are you sure you’ve never met my grandmother? I can hear her giving me the same advice.”

  “I’d venture to say we both had wise influences in our lives.” She absently ate the final bite of her cake. “How’d your day with her go, if you take out the argument with your dad?”

  “Great. I didn’t know how much we’d be able to cram in before she tired out, but she’s a trouper.” The angst left his tone, replaced with reverence. “She wants to visit more antique stores in the morning before we leave, find a souvenir for the trip.”

  “That’s cute. I’m glad she’s enjoying herself.”

  “I wish we had more time. I thought about planning another trip for spring and adding a day or two.”

  “You should.” She resisted putting on her tourist information hat and kept the friend one on. “If you decide to, let me know. I can help plan it if you’d like.”

  “As if I’d refuse help from the expert.” He smiled wide, revealing two perfect lines of teeth.

  Her heart fluttered against her earlier warnings to herself. “My, my, was that one of those compliments you mentioned?”

  Maintaining his grin, he winked. “Told you you’d recognize it.”

  Chapter Six

  Landon piddled around his apartment in an unsettled state. Ever since the trip to Jasper Lake last month, his life had changed, but not in an obvious way that made it easy to pinpoint the discontentment.

  His relationship with his parents remained much the same, at least on the level that mattered. He’d apologized to his dad for the cruel remarks, but it didn’t change how Landon felt in his heart. They had formed a truce of sorts, however, which Gran had noticed. She used that as justification that her conditional acceptance of his gift had been worth the break of protocol.