Pulse Point

by Colleen Nelson

Kaia

  Escaping the spinning blades of the windfarm had meant crawling on my stomach, coughing up dirt. My palms and chin were scraped and there were rips in my tunic. But I’d made it. The need to survive hadn’t let me consider what I was doing—only pushed me into action, and now here I was, plodding across the valley.

  Nothing Sy had said had prepared me for the hurt of being outside. The dry air burned my lungs. Already, my arms glowed red, sizzling from exposure. And my face, it stung, swollen and itchy. Smearing what I could extract from the aloe leaves helped ease the pain a little, but it dried sticky and stiff. Grains of sand stuck to me, mingling with the salt of my sweat. No matter how much water I drank, my thirst was constant.

  I turned back once to see the dome glimmering in the distance. Had my absence been noticed yet? Sari would make excuses for me at work. She’d assume I was still overwrought with grief for Mae and her match with Lev. Had she considered me at all when she agreed to the match with Lev? I was hot and irritated, and her betrayal bit at me. The further I got from the City, the better.

  But, eventually, heat and exhaustion won out and I sat down on the scrubby grass that lined the stream and dipped my swollen feet into it. The cool water lapped and sucked at my toes and I thought of Mae’s stories about swimming. Reaching into my satchel, I pulled out a papaya, my mouth watering at the thought of the sweet orange flesh. I felt for the knife tucked into my belt but couldn’t find it. Had I put it in my satchel?

  I pulled out the bedroll, the pot, my drinking gourd, but still no knife. Sy had said it was the most important tool I’d have. It was the one thing I couldn’t lose. When had I last used it? An hour ago? Two? With a sinking feeling, I felt the frayed edges of my tunic where I’d sliced a strip off to cover my head from the burning sun. I’d forgotten to put the knife back in my satchel.

  With a groan of frustration, I knew I had to go back. I didn’t know what waited for me on the Mountain. I needed the knife, but the thought of the satchel digging into my shoulder as I walked back made me want to fall down and cry. Tucking the bag to stay dry among some reedy plants that grew beside the stream, I picked up the drinking gourd and started back the way I’d come.

  Lev

  Raf wiped a bead of sweat off his brow. “That’s it. We’ve got what we wanted.”

  Sy lay in a crumpled heap on the floor of a balancing room, moaning. We’d been there for almost an hour. Raf had extracted what information he could from Sy while I watched. I hadn’t laid a hand on Sy, but every mark Raf left on him had left one on me too.

  I’d lunged once at Raf, begging him to stop. He’d shot me a withering glare and asked if I wanted to be next. “This is part of your training,” he’d hissed, shaking me off and continuing. I’d cowered against the wall after that, shutting my eyes at each blow. Finally, Raf opened the door and called to the balancer. “Take him to the infirmary. He had a bad fall.”

  Sy clutched his stomach and moaned as the balancer lifted him up and forced him to limp across the room. I looked at Raf. At the blood smeared across his cheek. “Come with me.”

  “Where?”

  He threw me a look like I was in no position to be asking. “To tell a Councillor.”

  “Tell them what? You got the admission by torture. You beat him!”

  A cold look crossed his face. “I persuaded.”

  I stuffed my trembling hands in the pockets of my tunic. “How do we know he didn’t lie to make the beating stop?” What would Kaia do if she found out I’d been part of this?

  Raf raised an eyebrow. “We don’t. But his story didn’t change either.” He marched to the door and held it open for me. “Let’s go.”

  ⌓

  Tar sat at her desk, swiping her finger with deft movements across her holographic screen. “What?” she barked when we walked in.

  “A Citizen is missing. A female,” Raf said.

  Tar tucked her finger away and the screen wavered and then disappeared. She raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

  “She escaped. Went to the Mountain.”

  I expected Tar to shake her head at the impossibility, like I had. The fact that she didn’t sent a cold shiver of dread up my spine.

  “Who?”

  Raf said nothing.

  “Kaia,” I whispered.

  “How?”

  “Through the underland. The male said there’s a hatch there that opens up into the windfarm.”

  Tar’s eyes widened at Raf’s information. “I see.”

  “It might not be true. Sy might have lied,” I sputtered. “She wouldn’t leave—” I caught myself before I finished the sentence, without me.

  “The male’s story didn’t change,” Raf said. “Even when we pressed him.”

  Gritting my teeth at the “we,” I shot Raf a sidelong glance. What he’d done to Sy, he’d done on his own.

  Tar clasped her hands under her chin and inhaled. Her eyes narrowed as she considered the news. “Did he say why she left?”

  I glared at Tar, at her feigned ignorance. “You know why—” I started, but Raf cut me off.

  “The male we questioned claimed she wasn’t right in the head after her elder was balanced.”

  “Was that all? No mention of any other reason?”

  “It was my match with Sari,” I blurted. “That was why she left!” All those nights I sat waiting in the orchard for her, giving her time, had been wasted moments. I shouldn’t have waited until last night to go to her dwelling. It had already been too late. Tar didn’t respond, instead she gave me a cursory glance. “You’re dismissed for the day.”

  I wouldn’t let Tar swat me away like I was an annoying insect. “No.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Tar rose to her feet. “Have you forgotten who you are speaking to?” Her eyes burned when she looked at me. I should have apologized, but I was too angry to back down.

  “If she dies, it will be your fault. I’ll tell the Council how you tormented her.”

  Tar took a step closer to me. She had the same look on her face as when she’d crushed the bird in her hand and it made my mouth go dry. My body wanted to run, but for once, I needed to stand strong.

  “Leave,” Tar said to Raf. I balled my hands into fists and held them at my sides, willing myself to meet her eyes. I flinched when Tar’s breath hit my face. “Showing kindness is a luxury that powerful people don’t get. It makes you weak. I’ve tried to teach this to you so many times, but you’re too much like Kellan.”

  Hearing her say his name hit me like a jolt. “What do you mean?”

  “Compassion was his downfall.”

  “So that’s why you want to keep me from Kaia? Because you think caring for someone will make me weak?”

  “You have no idea who Kaia is. I’m trying to protect you—”

  “Protect me from Kaia?” I stared at her incredulously.

  “From the City. Don’t ask me anymore, Lev,” she warned. “There are things about the City you can’t know. Not yet.”

  “What about Kaia?”

  “I’ll send Raf after her. She has to come back to the City.”

  “Why?” Nothing she was saying made sense. She’d done everything she could to hurt Kaia, but now she wanted her back and was willing to risk Raf’s life to do it.

  “Stop asking questions!” Tar took a breath to regain her composure, but I pressed on.

  “How will he—?” I thought of Raf’s hands on her, doing what he did to Sy and it made vomit rise in my throat. “What if he hurts her?”

  “Don’t worry. I need her in one piece. Anyway, I have something she’ll come back for.” A slither of a smile lifted Tar’s mouth and with a flick of her finger, she pulled up her hologram and a three-dimensional map of the city appeared.

  I followed as she shifted it and zoomed in on the underland. Blinking dots indicated me, R
af, and then further down the tunnel another one. I peered at the name floating above the dot, hardly believing I was seeing it right. Mae.

  “I didn’t expect she’d prove useful so soon,” Tar said.

  “Is she really alive?”

  “For now.”

  I stared at Tar and shook my head. “You kept Mae alive? Why?”

  “I told you, there are things you can’t know. Not yet. But if what you’ve told me about Kaia is right, she won’t gamble with her elder’s life.”

  I swallowed back the hatred for Tar that rose in my gut. “If you think she’ll believe Raf, you’re wrong.” I imagined Kaia wandering, delirious on the scorched valley floor. Suddenly, the solution was clear. “Let me go with him. If I told her about Mae, she’d believe me.”

  I thought Tar would say no or worse, laugh. “You?” Her eyes, always cold and mirthless, ran over me, appraising. “Hmm. Interesting. You know outside is unforgiving. There’s no room for weakness.”

  “I know.” At least, I thought I did. As crazy as it was to leave the City, I couldn’t stay knowing Kaia was out there. Tar thought caring for Kaia made me weak, but the opposite was true. My feelings for Kaia had made me strong.

  “It would be a mistake. You’d never survive.”

  I thought of Kellan and his mission to harness the power of the skies with the kites. The City had never forgotten his sacrifice. He’d become a hero. “Let me go with Raf. Let me prove I can do it.”

  As the words left my mouth, I realized I’d found a way to beat her at her own game. Tar frowned considering my idea, but I could tell, there was something about it she liked. “How could I send you outside? My own offspring? How would it look to the Council?” Tar asked.

  “Like you were raising a leader.”

  ⌓

  Tar hadn’t laughed at my idea, but Raf did. As soon as Tar told him. “You aren’t serious.” His laugh echoed off the walls of her chamber.

  “I am,” Tar said. “You’ll leave immediately.”

  The laughter died on his lips.

  With a sick swell in my stomach, I realized this was happening. “I want to see Mae before I go. I need to know she’s alive.”

  “You’re wasting time,” she said.

  I didn’t waver. “You’ve tricked me before.”

  “Fine. Follow me.” She turned to Raf. “Get your supplies. Be ready to leave when we get back.”

  Tar and I walked silently down a long stretch of tunnel. We passed a series of doors until we got to one that was unmarked. Tar touched her pulse point to a sensor and pushed it open.

  Inside, Mae lay huddled on a mattress, same as the one that had been in the balancing room. The room was dark and Mae squinted into the dim light of the tunnel. “Mae!” I said and rushed to her.

  She looked at me, confused.

  “It’s Lev, Kaia’s friend.” A slow realization spread across her face.

  “Where’s Kaia? Do they have her? Is she okay?”

  I hesitated between telling her the truth and lying. “Kaia’s fine,” I said.

  “Why am I here? What do they want?” she asked, sobbing. “I should have warned her.”

  Tar cleared her throat. “Time’s up,” she said. “You’ve seen her. She’s alive, for now.”

  Mae peered at Tar’s shadowy figure in the doorway. “I have to go, Mae. I’ll come back. I promise. And I’ll bring Kaia with me.”

  ⌓

  My stomach churned as I watched Raf unlock the hatch. We were covered head to toe in our white survival suits with only our eyes showing in the small opening in the face mask. The survival suits had been an early answer to surviving the elements, before the City had been completed.

  The hatch opened on stiff hinges. A gush of air, hot, dry air from outside flooded in. Raf went first, climbing up and swinging one leg over the edge of the opening. He straddled between the City and the outside for a moment and looked below him. The rope ladder unfurled, banging against the solar panels of the dome. It was a long way down.

  Tar stood beside me, watching Raf. He moved down the ladder quickly, hands and feet working in unison. When he was on the ground, she turned to me. “There’s no overseer who is better able to protect you than Raf. Follow his orders, but Lev”—she gripped my shoulders, forcing me to face her—“do whatever it takes to survive.”

  With a deep, anxious breath, I climbed up to the hatch. Tar had never been kind to me, not the way I’d seen other birth elders act towards their offspring, but all of a sudden, I felt an unexpected rush of foreboding. What if I never saw her again?

  Tar mistook my hesitation for stalling and took a step back, as if she needed to put further distance between us. “Go,” she ordered. “Raf is waiting.”

  I nodded. There were five rungs to climb before my head was out of the City. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t under the cover of the dome. I blinked. Dry, scorching air bit into my eyes. Raf was on the ground, waving at me. As if I couldn’t see him, the one figure alone in the vastness of the valley. I looked around. The Mountain rose in the distance, a hulking beast dominating the landscape. I’d only ever seen it through the dome, but to look at it from outside gave me new perspective. We were to climb it, find Kaia and return. There could be Prims, beasts, storms, and dangers I’d never considered. What if we ran out of water? Were injured? What if the survival suits didn’t work?

  I took another shaky breath. It was too late to turn back. I didn’t have a choice. I had to go down to meet Raf. Think about Kaia, I reminded myself. If Sy was telling the truth, she was out here somewhere, unprotected and alone.

  With that thought, I swung my legs over the hatch and began my descent. The ladder scraped against the dome, shifting side to side as I climbed. I was slower than Raf, cautious. I imagined his eyes on me, judging. Weighing my value as a partner.

  “You made it,” he said when I jumped to the ground beside him. My arms and legs trembled from fear or exertion, maybe both.

  I nodded, adjusted the pack slung over my back and looked to him for direction. “Let’s go,” he said grimly and turned in the direction of the Mountain. We had to walk around the City, away from the lightning conductors with the kites that snapped in the wind. I looked up to the hatch and saw Tar watching. She raised her hand, waved goodbye and then turned away.

  Kaia

  I was sure I’d gone too far, wasting steps towards the City when I should have been going in the opposite direction. I could have walked past the knife. There was nothing to identify where I’d been when I’d stopped, no rock or tree; everything outside looked the same.

  But then I did see something. The glint of metal. At first I thought it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but as I got closer, I saw that it was my knife. I raced to it, falling on the ground and laughing. I held the knife in my hands. Gripping it. Grateful. The sheath lay in the reeds. Clutching both of them to my chest, I promised myself I wouldn’t be so foolish again.

  I began the long walk back to my satchel. How much time had I lost? An hour at least? And another hour back to where I’d started.

  Movement in the sky made me look up. A bird, enormous compared to any we had in the City, soared overhead. I arched my neck, watching as it circled and swooped. Its wings were as wide as I was tall. It let out a caw and suddenly it dove. Its beak trained on me, aiming. I screamed and fell to the ground, curled up, covering my neck with my hands. The bird took a pass over my back. I felt the whoosh of wind.

  Uncovering my head, I peeked at the sky. The bird was circling back. Its talons were the size of my head. The only weapon I had was my knife. Pulling it out of the sheath, I held it tight, sweat making the handle slippery. The bird cawed again, triumphant. A streak of black in the sky, it circled again and dove. I flipped over, my knife ready. As the bird came close, its beak slicing through the air, I swung madly. A flurry of feathers, a high-p
itched squawk and the bird flapped away. Uninjured, but stunned. It hadn’t expected me to fight. Scrambling up, I took off my sandals, held them in one hand and started to do the one thing that was as natural to me as breathing. I ran.

  The heat and sun were forgotten as muscle memory kicked in. My body, sinewy and strong from years of daily runs, sprang into action. The bird circled in the sky, ready to swoop and attack. It was waiting for me to stumble, to weaken.

  I won’t, I thought as my feet pounded the scrubby grass along the stream. I can’t.

  Lev

  The survival suits had made me feel invincible when we first stepped outside. But the longer we trudged, the more cumbersome they became. Worse even than overseer tunics. I’d done the calculations. If Sy was telling the truth, we’d left four hours behind Kaia. Raf estimated the walk across the valley to be six hours, based on what, I didn’t know. He’d never been outside either and he’d never been to the Mountain, but I accepted what he said without argument. If his calculations were right, Kaia would be over halfway to the Mountain by now. Or she could be passed out on the sun-baked ground, burnt and dehydrated. Forcing the rising panic back down, I picked up the pace. Finding her was all that mattered.

  “You were close with her, this female?” Raf asked when we’d been walking for an hour. The sun was directly overhead, and even through the survival suit, I could feel its intensity.

  “Yes.”

  “Did you want to be matched with her?”

  “Yes.”

  Raf turned to me and I expected him to mock me, but instead his voice turned serious. “It’s hard to lose the one you want.”

  “You’re speaking from experience?”

  “Maybe.” He didn’t say anything else and I knew better than to ask.

  Raf glanced back. A bank of low, dark clouds scuttled across the sky. “That storm’s moving fast,” he muttered. He plowed forward as the wind picked up. It took effort to keep pace with him.

  I’d seen plenty of storms hit before, but always from inside the safety of the dome. The thought of being outside when one came was terrifying. “What do we do when it hits?”