The company fell into silence for a moment.
Tzadok held up his hands, denying the entire idea. “No, no, this whole thing is getting crazier and crazier.” He shook his head, absolutely certain. “Nope. Nope, something is going on here. Something is getting mixed up in your twisty little head.”
She frowned over at him, feeling vaguely insulted. “How do you know that I’m the one who’s confused?”
“Because I know you real well, Tandrea.” He pointed to his temples. “You get an idea and then you build on it, no matter what new information comes to light which could call into question that original thought.” He gestured to her. “You always do that. I’ve known you less than three weeks, and I can already tell you with complete certainty that whatever is wrong with this conversation, it’s all springing from something that you’ve done.”
Tandy’s eyes narrowed at him, getting angry. “You know, I realize that you think you’re smarter than I am, but I think I’m doing fairly well at communicating in a language I’ve only heard spoken for a few days. Even if, for argument’s sake, I am misunderstanding something, I’m still doing a hell of a lot better than you’d be doing if we were having this conversation in any language but yours!”
“Wait, wait…” Tzadok stopped his horse and glanced over at her. “You think I’m irritated with you because I believe that I’m more intelligent than you are?” He threw his head back and laughed, like that was the funniest thing he’d heard in years. “No, no I’m afraid not. I have no delusions about that, believe me. I am not a smart man. Even if I were, you’d still be more intelligent. It’s not your intellect I doubt, it’s your sanity.” He explained, then shook his head. “But I’ve always been stupid.”
“Who told you that?”
“Everyone.” He shrugged. “For as long as I can remember.”
“I don’t believe that.” She spurred her horse onward.
“Well, I’m sure I can find you plenty of people willing to give you a sworn testimonial to the fact.”
“Someone of limited intelligence would not use the word ‘testimonial’ correctly. I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.” She shook her head again. “Just wrong. And if everyone has been telling you that there’s something wrong with you, then everyone else is wrong too. You are scary and violent and certainly a barbarian, but I have seen no evidence of you being stupid.” She tilted her head back to watch an unknown bird circling in the sky. “Your problem is that you get angry with people too easily. I don’t understand why you can’t just relax.”
He considered that, riding along in silence for a good ten minutes before speaking again. “I’m irritated with people because…” He finally began, then stopped. “I’m… angry. I’m angry all the time.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It just…it just comes over me like a wave. An irresistible tide of blood-hate. It’s easier to go with it than to struggle against the current. And when you’re in that moment? When you can feel the rage struggling to get out? Sometimes… sometimes it feels good. It feels so good to just let go. To stop thinking about everything and let go.”
“Interesting.” She pursed her lips, considering that.
“My life is not a case study, Tandrea.” He reminded her. “And, not to state the obvious, but if someone tells you that they have issues with rage and routinely display poor impulse control, you should see that as a warning rather than an invitation to research the affliction.” He shook his hands in the air to drive the point home. “Don’t go near violent people, I don’t know how many times I need to remind you of that!”
“That was never a rule.” She shook her head. “I have to stay away from the Coastal People, but there is no broad-stroke prohibition against all violent people.”
“Well, there is now.” He announced.
“You can’t do that.” She shook her head again. “The rules are written. That’s a contract between you and your prisoner.”
“You’re not a prisoner!” He cried, sounding insulted. “You’re ‘Chosen’! Remember? We talked about this. Since you’ve allegedly been doing this kind of thing for a living, you’d think it’d all be old hat by now.”
“Don’t you yell at her for her choices!” Kobb chastised. “We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, and she doesn’t need you giving her a hard time about them! What kind of (weird word) are you, Nephew!?!”
“But she is proud of it!” Tzadok defended. “And besides, it didn’t even fucking happen anyway.” He shook his head vehemently, gesturing to her with his free hand. “Look at her! She’s never done that! Never been paid for that! No fucking way. No. Fucking. Way.”
Her eyes squinted in irritation again. “Are you saying that I can’t be a professional (weird word) because I’m a woman?”
“HUH!?!” Tzadok sounded completely confused now. “I just… I just don’t even know how to respond to that. It’s just… too weird.” He took a calming breath. “What I am telling you is that you’ve lived your life in a bubble. There’s no way that what you say you do, you actually do. I think that you either have some kind of dangerous talent that I don’t know about, or someone has been protecting you from yourself all these years.”
“I’m very good at my job.” She reminded him. “And I have lots of (weird word) talents. I’m the best (weird word) in all of Galland!”
The little caravan fell silent again.
“By Chox...” Kobb stopped his horse and gaped at her, then started laughing. “Yeah… yeah something’s wrong.” He smiled broadly. “But please don’t correct her, this is too much fun.”
Tzadok made an aggravated sound. “You know what? I’m just going to go get water from the spring and pretend I wasn’t party to this insanity.” He started to ride away to a low rocky area to their left, where water presumably flowed. “You’re both insane.”
“Chox has made us all insane, Nephew.” Kobb called after him, continuing to ride away through the ancient city’s sandstone entry arch. “He created each of us to want the one thing we cannot have. It is different for everyone, but it is always the same.” He was silent for a beat, looking off towards the horizon in front of him and lowering his voice. “…Always the same.”
She cleared her throat, spurring her horse onward to catch up to the man. “And what is it that you want?”
Kobb just smiled, like his fate were a joke.
Since it was apparent she wasn’t going to get an answer to that simple question, she decided to change the subject. “Should we be leaving Tzadok?” She pointed off towards the spring. “What if he gets lost?”
Kobb snorted at the idea, finding it amusing. “He’ll be fine, I give you my word. The boy spends more time on the salt than he does in the village. Has since he was a child. He could find the path blindfolded. There isn’t a man or beast who can move across The Great Nothing faster.”
Ahead of them, the dark-haired woman absently removed her jacket and tied it to her saddle. As far as Tandy could tell, in addition to random violence, the girl spent most of her time in captivity running around and around their camp, obviously training her body to operate in the harsh Wasteland climate. Acclimating herself to the thin air and cold wind. Hour after hour, in various states of dress and undress, at all times of the day and night. Even when she was on horseback, she still scanned the horizon, looking for noticeable landmarks which could guide her.
She was preparing her escape.
Why she was allowed to do this was a mystery. It wasn’t like she was bothering to hide it, but no one made any attempt to stop her.
Which was weird.
Also, the fact that she’d come along at all was a bit bizarre.
They silently watched the girl’s short hair sway back and forth in the cool wind. The knot holding her garment to the saddle gradually came loose and her jacket fell to the salt. Kobb casually reached down to pick it up as he rode by. “She’s going to want this.” He told Tandy, like the act needed some kind of ex
planation. “It gets very cold here.”
“It’s cold here now.” She reminded him, stating the obvious. “We’re very high up in altitude.”
“Indeed.” Kobb’s horse quickened its pace so that he could return the jacket to its owner. He put his fingers to his lips and whistled loudly to get the woman’s attention.
Her head whipped around.
He handed her the jacket and nodded, silently apologizing for bothering her.
She yanked the garment from his hand, but continued glaring at him, obviously expecting an attack.
He backtracked so that his horse was once more next to Tandy’s. “She’s going to need that.” He said again softly.
Tandy squinted at him, trying to understand if that meant something else in his language.
In any event, their traveling party continued on course, making their way towards the meeting place of the Council of All Councils.
After ten more minutes, Tandy decided to ask the question that was bothering her. “Did you tell Tzadok he was stupid?” She snapped, hoping it didn’t sound as angry to his ears as it did to hers. She didn’t mean to, it was just that the topic kind of… well… pissed her off. No one should make Tzadok feel bad about himself, not even his uncle.
“Possibly.” Kobb shrugged. “In regards to what exactly? You?” He rolled his eyes at a memory. “Because I told him that saying his desire for you was a ‘Three’ was…”
“In general!” She poked him in the arm, cutting him off. “It is very harmful to the man’s self-esteem and his emotional development!”
“I never called him an idiot!” Kobb defended. “That was his mother! By the time I got him, he was already convinced that he wasn’t as smart as other people and stopped trying!” His voice became more serious. “I have spent the last decades of my life attempting to get him over the damage done in the first decade of his!” He pointed back to where they’d left him at the spring. “My nephew has always been an emotional shipwreck, in case you haven’t noticed. He’s angry and alone and people have hated him his entire life. That builds up inside a man. Changes him.”
Tandy would have to agree with that assessment. “I’m sorry.” She told him softly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know if you know this or not, but you’re really good for him. He typically spends most of his day brooding somewhere. Angry, sullen, and alone. His life… well, it hasn’t been the best. See, he was always ignored. He was basically an accident, my sister never intended to have a second child. As such, she greatly favored Tzadok’s older brother, but he died at the Battle of Lambert, which meant that Tzadok was suddenly thrust into her path. His mother expected him to effortlessly fill the shoes of his older brother, who had far more experience and support. When he didn’t immediately excel, everyone wrote him off as a fool and she set about trying to have another child. That made him frustrated and angry. Add in the fact that no one but me particularly likes him as a person because he scares them, and you have the makings for a lonely, empty life.” He cleared his throat. “But since you’ve been here, he’s…” He trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.
“Yelling less?” She suggested.
“Engaged.” Kobb finally decided. “He cares enough to yell more.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Is that… is that a good thing though?”
“I think it is.” He decided, sounding pleased. “Usually he’d just immediately respond with violence if someone angered him. He doesn’t talk or argue, he just lashes out or disappears into The Great Nothing for a week or two. So, yes, yelling is a good thing. It shows that he cares about the world, not simply stopping noises which annoy him.” He nodded to himself. “He spends too much time dealing with all of the worst parts of life. The expectations and prejudices of his people and himself. He tries to carry it all with him. Constantly. It eats away at him. He’s a strong man… but no one can last forever under that kind of burden. It’s nice to see him get distracted by something beautiful.” He sighed in contentment, then added as an afterthought. “If you hurt him, I will kill you. And it will not be quick.”
“I’m not going to…” She trailed off as she realized the man was entirely serious. It wasn’t a threat… that was a warning. She gaped at him for a moment, finally seeing the killer the dark-haired woman had recognized inside him.
But just like that, the glimmer of murder in his eyes was gone, replaced with his typical satisfied and serene expression. “But I don’t think that’s going to come up. Like I said, I like you.”
Tandy opened her mouth to reply to that, but realized she had nothing to say.
The Wasteland was a very confusing culture.
“Of course you like her,” Tzadok called, riding up behind them, the refilled water jugs attached to his horse, “as I said, you’re both insane.”
Tandy smiled at him, genuinely glad to see him again. Despite Kobb’s assurances, she didn’t really like leaving the man behind, even if he could easily catch up with them.
“I was just explaining to your (weird word) the difficulties you often have with people.” Kobb informed him.
Tzadok nodded. “Only the stupid ones.” He defended. “And the ones who annoy me.”
“They hate him because they want to do things their way.” Kobb continued, excusing his nephew’s reputed violence. “But their way would have us all dead or in chains.”
“They hate me because you killed a bunch of them.” Tzadok reminded him. “And then I’ve been picking off the survivors over the years, whenever they Challenge.”
“That is Chox’s will.” Kobb announced, justifying their conduct completely. “They Challenged, you emerged the victor. It was done with honor.”
“And the men you killed?” Tandy asked Kobb.
“I was not a man born burdened with honor, child. That is not who I am.” Kobb admitted. “There are two kinds of stories we can tell in this world. Two morals we can take from another’s experiences. There are stories about achieving your dreams. And there are stories about realizing that you never will, that you failed, but learning that that’s okay. That your life still has meaning because you’ve helped others achieve their dreams.”
“Which one is yours?” Tandy frowned at him. “Which moral can we take from your life story?”
Kobb shrugged. “No one can say until their story is over, now can they?” He was silent for a moment. “But I know. …I’ve always known.”
She glanced over at Tzadok, hoping he could say something reassuring to the man.
Tzadok shrugged. “Welcome to life with my uncle. He has three moods: religious stupor, asleep, and depressing.”
Kobb made a face at him. “And yet I’m still the most popular one in the family.” He joked with no real humor behind it.
The woman ahead of them started to go faster, taking an aimless course that went back and forth along their direction of travel.
“You’re seriously not concerned about her just riding away?” Tzadok asked Kobb, gesturing to her. “Because you know she is, right? In ten seconds, she’s gone.”
“I do not worry about decisions which are not mine to make.” Kobb informed his nephew calmly. “If her destiny lies in that direction, then I wish her well. I genuinely hope she finds what it is she’s looking for so desperately.” He shook his head in certainty. “But she won’t leave.”
Tzadok arched an eyebrow. “How can you be so certain?”
Kobb took on a confident tone, like the wisest man in the world. “When you get to be my age, you have a sense about people.”
The woman took off, urging the animal forward more skillfully than anyone Tandy had ever seen, and instantly had the horse at full speed, racing towards the western horizon. There was no way anyone would be able to catch her.
They were all silent for a beat.
“Well… she is very young.” Kobb reminded them.
Tzadok rolled his eyes again. “Uh-huh.”
&nbs
p; “I said she wouldn’t leave, not that she wouldn’t try.” Kobb nodded in certainty again, his voice still just as confident as it had been the first time. “She’ll be back.”
Tandy frowned over at him. “How do you know?”
“Because she doesn’t want to leave.” The man explained, as if it made complete sense. “What she really wants is for someone to stop her from leaving. She wants the decision taken out of her hands, because whatever is waiting for her among her people is not pleasant. Her former kingdom offers her nothing. She recognizes on some level that she’s better off here, but that scares her. It frightens her down to the bone because it’s in stark contrast to her existing sense of herself. So, she tries to force a confrontation which will lead to us taking that choice away from her. Make us either kick her out or force her to stay.” He shook his head. “But we’re not going to choose for her, because she is a woman who needs to control her own destiny. Decide what kind of person she wants to be. Everyone does, sooner or later.” He paused for a beat. “Also, I know she’ll be back because there’s no water in that direction for six days.” He shook his head, his eyes returning to the path in front of him. “She is not immature, stupid, or crazy. Thus, she will return.”
“Hopefully she’ll try it anyway.” Tzadok decided. “Good riddance.”
“Fighting us doesn’t make her our enemy or wrong. It just means she is on a different path than we are.” Kobb took on his normal profound tone. “Her life is bigger than merely how it relates to us, Nephew. Chox gives us all burdens to test us. To see if we react with honor or cowardice, and when our lives end, we will each stand before Him in the Land of Ghosts to explain our decisions. To hear His judgement on whether we are strong or weak. Whether we are worthy of Challenging for one of the spots around His fire in the gloomy canyons of eternity. At the moment, we are such an obstacle for her. Chox has placed us into her path and she feels she must act. She’s just not certain which option to choose.” He firmed his lips into a serious line. “I trust that she will make the right choice in the end.”
Captive of a Fairytale Barbarian Page 21
