Tandy arched a curious eyebrow. “Which is?”
“You’d have to ask her that. I don’t presume to know.” He glanced towards the horizon where the woman’s shape was rapidly disappearing. “She’s a clever woman though. Whatever it is, she’ll figure it out.”
Tzadok didn’t look convinced by that.
Ten minutes ticked by in silence before he finally spoke again. “I still think you should have stayed at the camp.” Tzadok reminded her. “This was unwise. You are not safe going to this meeting. You shouldn’t have come.”
Tandy tried not to roll her eyes.
Chapter Ten:
Creatures of Darkness and the Silent Places
Tzadok watched the horizon warily, his eyes scanning for any sign of trouble. He knew The Great Nothing better than anyone else in the world, which meant he recognized that it was not a place you wanted to let your guard down.
It was a barrier Chox had put into place to protect the Saltmen, but that didn’t mean that it couldn’t also kill them in the blink of an eye.
They still had a day of riding before they’d reach the domain of the Horsemen, and Tzadok wasn’t sure whether he would be relieved by that or even more tense.
At the moment, they were riding through more ruins of an ancient settlement whose name was now forgotten by time. Whoever lived here and whatever they’d dreamed, it was all now lost to the salt.
He stared up at the visage of an alien and unknown god, thinking about the cyclical nature of time and life.
Beside him, his prize turned to look at him from her horse. “Have you decided what your argument is going to be?” She asked him seriously. “With the Council, I mean?”
He forgot about the shattered and crumbling statue of an everlasting god, and urged his horse onward. “I’m thinking about telling them that if they do not support me, I will slay them all and treat their women as my horses.”
“We treat horses very well, actually.” Kobb affectionately patted the animal he was riding. “Don’t we, Brother?”
Tzadok rolled his eyes again. “But it sounds scary and that’s all that matters. Weak men pay attention to fear over logic. They have no faith in their own power. Their own gods. They dwell only in the darkened squalor of their own dishonor and overwhelming cowardice.” He nodded. “Reminding them of that is simple. Their never-ending shame boils beneath the surface of their soul, despite their efforts to hide it. Intimidation is just a matter of telling them that you can see it too.” He paused for a beat. “Plus, it’s so specific. I like the idea of riding into battle astride a Coastal Woman.”
Kobb boomed with laughter.
Tandrea seemed to find it less amusing. “I don’t think that’s a good tactic.”
“I don’t know, a lot of the Coastal Women are admirably stout.” Kobb explained. “I bet they could take many arrow strikes before they tossed him off their backs and…”
“Not what I meant and you know it, Kobb.” She interrupted. “Be serious.”
Tzadok considered the situation silently. “Our main issue is the Hardmen. They’re the only ones who are an unknown. They’re going to determine the outcome.”
She nodded, pursing her beautiful lips in thought. He loved it when she did that. “Well, do you have anything you can trade with the Hardmen? Can you make a deal?”
“You cannot make deals with the Hardmen.” Tzadok shook his head. “They are a violent and crazy people.”
“Exactly my point. You have similar interests, right?”
Tzadok stared at her.
“Did that sound insulting?” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “My apologies. I should have found a better way of pointing out that the Saltmen also often engage in insane and violent behaviors. I sometimes get distracted because you are a very pretty man, though.”
“So I’ve been told.” He heaved a long-suffering sigh.
“By whom?”
“You. Only you.”
“Ah. Good.” She nodded. “Well… not ‘good’ good, but good.”
“That clears it up.”
“Can you pressure the Hardmen, maybe?” She tried. “You’re pretty good at threats.”
“They do not intimidate.” Tzadok stated flatly, believing it to be one of the world’s definite guiding facts. As if Chox had decided at the beginning of time: Yes. These people shall be savage beasts which no man can talk to without a blade in hand. “They have no shame in them. No weakness to exploit. They are a group always looking for a glorious death.” Tzadok continued. “It is all they live for. They want to die for their queen. That is what they pray for in the dark of night. To die soaked in hot dripping blood, atop a towering pile of their mangled twitching victims.”
Kobb nodded in appreciation of the idea. “A warrior’s death. Every man should want such an end, Nephew.”
Tandy ignored that. “How about paying them off?”
Tzadok shook his head. “They already have more gold than my people could give them in a thousand lifetimes.”
“Doesn’t mean they don’t want more of it though.” She argued, obviously looking for anything the Saltmen could use to succeed.
“There are men you can hire, men you can bribe, men you can scare, and men who simply are.” Tzadok explained. “If you tried to bribe The Hardmen, they’d just kill you and take all of your money. Not because they wanted it or had any use for it, just because they liked the feeling of slaying you and wanted a shiny keepsake of the experience.” He shook his head. “They do not want to be given gold. They want to steal gold.” He pointed to one of the bird’s overhead. “Might as well try to bribe an eagle not to soar.”
“Ah.” She made a face. “Well, that’s most unfortunate.” She shrugged. “Well, we’ll just have to convince them of our position in the debate then.”
“In 600 years, they have never once sided with the Saltmen in a Council disagreement.” Tzadok informed her.
“Well… how many times have they sided with the Coastal People though?”
“True.” He admitted that point. “The Hardmen do not agree with anyone but themselves. They’re like the Swamprats of the Grizzwood, only… mobile, better organized, and even more bloodthirsty.” He shook his head in certainty. “They will not side with us.”
“There’s a first time for everything, right?”
“We would do better just massacring them like be-plagued rats.” He decided. “They are no good to nobody.”
“Umm… probably not how I would open negotiations, just FYI.”
“They would most likely take it as a compliment.” He met her eyes. “They are a deeply damaged people. Hollow men. They live without the shame of men or the fear of gods. Their only social cohesion is hatred.”
“Oh, no. Make no mistake, they have a religion.” Kobb corrected. “It’s what drives them. That’s why they do what they do. Their bird goddess tells them to kill. And rape. And burn. Until there is nothing left to steal, rape, or kill. That is all they want. That is what makes them the happiest. They live and die, to put the world to the sword and torch.” He rearranged himself in the saddle. “They survive by wandering the world, taking what they need from those weaker than themselves… which, as they’ve proved countless times, is pretty much everyone.” He shook his head. “But they’re not ‘evil.’” Kobb paused. “… well, at least not in the traditional sense, anyway. They are simply… indifferent. Like nature itself. But that doesn’t make them ‘evil’ any more than a tree can be evil.”
“Huh.” Tandy paused to consider that. “That type of subsistence strategy requires a great deal of management and control. In order to remain a cohesive fighting force during their travels, they must have strong leadership binding them together and issuing orders, which means that person can be reasoned with.”
“Umm… doubtful.” Kobb decided, sounding almost sad about it. “Their Chieftain does not… care, I suppose you could say.”
Tzadok made a face of complete disgust. “Fucking necromancer.” He muttered under his bre
ath, spitting on the ground in contempt for sorcerers and their duplicitously crafty ilk. “The world will be better off when she finally dies.”
“She’s not a necromancer.” Kobb corrected. “She’s too morbid and depressing to be a necromancer.” He paused for a beat. “I don’t know what she is, honestly.”
“In either case, there is no ‘reasoning’ with a people like that. They lack reason, that’s the problem.” Tzadok pointed off towards the south-western horizon. “They sacked Hindley last year. They say that when they were done with that rampage, there wasn’t so much as a fly left alive in that city. They killed everything. Even the fucking plants. Do you have any idea the kind of mind it takes to think of even cutting down every single blade of grass in your enemies’ city?”
“If you are in control of your people to that extent,” Tandrea argued, “you either care about the welfare of those people or you only care about bettering your own situation. Both of those motivations can be appealed to. We just have to find the right means of reaching their leader, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh.” Tzadok didn’t bother even trying to sound convinced by his prize’s logic. “When I was a boy, they captured the entire royal family of Yntema, along with five hundred of their palace guards. They ordered them all to lay down in rows, one on top of another, then balanced planks on the pile to create a dance floor.” His voice went up an octave. “The Hardmen had a drunken orgy on the platform they created, crushing the Yntema to death beneath them while they raped their wives and daughters, and drank their wine.” He looked down at her again, once again believing that that settled the matter. “They’re evil. I don’t care what my uncle says, anyone who has done the things they’ve done is evil.”
“Not all who do evil, are evil.” Kobb argued softly.
“Yes, they fucking are!” Tzadok snapped back. “By definition!”
“I still think if we just stop and try to understand them, we can figure out a way to convince them.” She defended. “They hold our fate in their hands, the least we can do is come up with some way to get them to see our point of view.”
“Sure. You do that.” Tzadok decided dismissively, fully believing that she was wasting her time, but weary of debating the issue. “That can be your responsibility during the council, just so long as you stay away from them. They will kill you if they can. I’m being completely serious about that, Tandrea. They will slaughter you where you stand, simply to see what color your blood is.” He paused in uncertainty. “It’s red, right?”
“It’s red.” She nodded. “I’m human, I just have green skin.”
“Good.” He straightened in his saddle, pleased with himself for being right. He knew his prize completely at this point. “Not that it matters to me or that it would stop them.”
“I do not judge the Hardmen.” His uncle decided after a long moment. “All evils in this world are born from the sense that you know what’s best for someone else.” He declared with religious certainty. “I walk Chox’s Path. I give no one orders. I make no demands. I do as my spirit wills and allow all others to do the same. Everyone should be free to walk this great world at their own pace, building up their honor where and when they can. Chox desires nothing less and nothing more.”
Tandy raised her hand to make a point and stop the conversation. “Um… I’ll admit that my studies of Chox the Culler of Men is limited, but isn’t he traditionally thought of as a war god? More concerned with death and brutal vengeance than tolerance and mercy? Isn’t what you just said… basically the antithesis of the entire Wastelandi worldview?”
“Yes, Uncle.” Tzadok smirked, glad to hear his prize echo an observation which he himself had frequently made. “Isn’t it?”
“Well…” Kobb began, obviously stalling. “Chox speaks the same words to all, but each of us must interpret them in his or her own way.” He pointed at her. “Tandy knows better than anyone how many difficulties can arise when interpreting.” He put a hand to his chest. “If a man has only hate in his heart, every single holy word will be taken as a justification and call for violence. But the fault lies with the man who chose to hear what he already wanted to hear, not with Chox.”
“You’re so full of shit, Uncle.” Tzadok rolled his eyes. “The Culler of Men commands us to boil our enemies alive until we can use their rendered body fat to make fucking candles, I fail to see how that could possibly be the result of a misinterpretation.” He waved a dismissive hand. “But I guess, in your bizarre little world, that just means he wants us to spend our nights teaching orphans to fucking read or something.”
“I think Kobb’s interpretation is a lovely sentiment.” Tandy nodded.
“Yeah, why doesn’t that surprise me?” Tzadok scoffed. “Neither of you live in reality.”
“I lived most of my life in your reality, Tzadok. I don’t recommend it.” Kobb sounded a million miles away. “It’s lonely and terrifying there. I find my reality much more enjoyable.” He pointed at her again. “And Tandy’s is simply a delight. Have I mentioned that I’m quite fond of this girl?”
“Yes.”
“You could learn a lot from her.”
“So you’ve said.”
“Can you actually turn people into candles?” Tandrea asked, sounding genuinely interested despite the ghoulish subject matter.
Tzadok shrugged. “I don’t kn…”
“Yes.” Kobb interrupted matter-of-factly, as if speaking from personal experience. “But the smell is atrocious.”
Tzadok looked at him out of the corner of his eye, never before hearing that little factoid. “I worry about you sometimes, Uncle.” He shook his head sadly. “Every day I am…” He trailed off, distracted by an odd feeling he was getting. His eyes scanned the horizon in all directions again, searching for dangers hidden in the crumbling brickwork around them.
“What is it?” Kobb asked immediately. “Do you…”
Tzadok swore viciously and leapt clear of his horse a split-second before a massive claw exploded from the ground beneath it, shearing the poor creature in two with its razor-sharp pincers.
Tzadok hit the ground, rolling clear as the monster erupted from the salt and let out a ghastly roar. The unearthly horrific sound was like a knife to the eardrum, causing the remaining horses to buck Kobb and Tandrea off their backs, then race for safety.
Tandrea let out a startled scream, both from the fall and from the sight of the creature in front of them.
The monster fully emerged from its lair and shook off the loose salt covering its back, revealing its shape.
A Wogosh.
A massive scorpion-like nightmare, twice the size of a horse, with the jaws of a crocodile and a coating of oozing black slime dripping from its tough shell. Its horrific race had battled The Eleven Immortals from the Time Before the Stars Fell, at the dawn of the world. The Wogosh had been all but wiped out in The Wasteland’s war with the Glass Wizard though, in the time of Tzadok’s great-grandfather. Tzadok had never seen one in person before, only in ancient paintings on sacred walls.
It shouldn’t be here.
“GO!” Tzadok shouted at his uncle and prize immediately. His hand tightened on the unyielding handle of his war hammer, preparing for battle.
He’d have the creature’s head or it would have his.
Tandrea remained rooted in place. “But what about…”
“I can handle this!” He waved her back. “You get the horses!” He demanded again, cutting her off before she could finish. “Without them we’re dead anyway!”
His prize and Kobb took off through the ruins, after the frightened animals. Which was good, because Tzadok didn’t want her anywhere near the fight.
This was going to get bloody.
The Wogosh skittered after them on its eight spindly legs, each of which ended in a point sharp enough to easily skewer a man.
Tzadok dashed in front of the monster, blocking its path.
The Wogosh struck with its barbed tail, filled with a lethal v
enom which could kill a man with a single drop.
Tzadok dodged to the side and the deadly stinger smacked into the salt at his feet, then repeated the attack quicker than anything Tzadok had ever seen. He ducked under the strike, rolling out of the way and swinging his war hammer at one of the creature’s pincers as it tried to grab him and drag him wriggling into its monstrous jaws.
The burnished head of the heavy steel mallet made a hideous thumping sound as it collided with the solid shell of the creature’s claw, accompanied by a disgusting “splat” as its coating of slime cushioned the blow. The Wogosh retreated a step, then attacked with both pincers and its tail at once.
Tzadok jumped back to avoid the deadly claws, swinging his hammer in the air to smack away the barbed tail before it could impale him.
The monster continued to press forward though, using its massive bulk and array of threats to overwhelm Tzadok. It let out a battle roar, like one-hundred million devils all screaming at once, so loud the earth seemed to vibrate.
He leaned back to avoid another strike from the tail, then jumped over its right pincer. He shifted to the side to flank the creature, but it merely shambled after him, countering the move.
A sinister intelligence seemed to be guiding its actions. It wasn’t some mindless insect. This humongous thing was a hunter. A slayer, like Tzadok.
But there was no beast alive which could make Tzadok its meal.
The monster attacked with its left pincer this time, but Tzadok was ready for it. As the claw shot towards him, Tzadok smashed his war hammer down on it with all of the force he could muster. The Wogosh let out a roar of pain and rage, yanking its arm free, but leaving behind the crushed remains of its pincer.
It darted forward in anger, knocking Tzadok over. He grabbed the remaining claw before it could grab him, using his other hand to hold back the creature’s deadly jaws.
It was on top of him now, its teeth inexorably pressing closer and closer to his face. A stream of the monster’s drool pooled on his chest, as the demon anticipated the taste of Tzadok’s flesh.
But Tzadok wasn’t easy prey. While the monster was far too heavy for him to deadlift, this position gave his powerful leg muscles all the leverage they needed. His back was braced against the hot sandstones of the ancient city’s street, and he pushed upwards with his thighs, flipping the top-heavy monstrosity off of him before it could finish its grim bloody meal.
Captive of a Fairytale Barbarian Page 22
