“He’s a bear.” Kobb explained. “A snow bear, who is the protector of her people…”
“Maritimus the Martyr would walk to Chox and say: ‘Time to get fucked!’” The girl insisted, slamming one fist into the other.
“It’s a fascinating religion.” Kobb agreed pleasantly. “I genuinely believe that he and Chox could learn a lot from each other. So often I find that the blending of two things is better than either separately. Be it foods, steel, cultures, or gods.”
Tzadok made a helpless sound. “Uncle… what are you doing?” He spread his arms out. “Have you lost your mind?”
“I believe in The Teachings of Chox.” Kobb defended. “I would never touch a woman who wasn’t mine, Nephew. Even if she were willing and I were lonely. That’s not who I am now and not what I’d want.”
Tzadok’s eyebrows soared. “You’re telling me that Chox, the Culler of Men, gave you a foreign warrior-woman, at least twenty years younger than you? Just handed her over, without you even having to look for her at all? The same Chox who never gave anyone in The Wasteland a fucking thing, as the Keeper of Your Heart, gave you a twenty-five year old athlete, who looks like sex itself and who is apparently always delighted and anxious to get on her knees for you?”
Everyone was silent for a beat.
“I’ve told you many times that Chox rewards faith. But you never believed me.” Kobb paused. “Don’t you wish you’d prayed more?”
Violet started chuckling.
Tzadok ran his hands through his hair in agitation. “Shut up, Uncle.”
“She smells like flowers. And she makes me feel so…” He trailed off and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. What did you come see me about?”
“I don’t…” Tzadok shrugged. “I don’t even remember why I came in here now.”
Everyone was silent again.
“She gave me her ring.” Kobb volunteered, holding up his hand to display the cheap iron nail ring the girl had formally worn. Just why anyone would want the goddamn thing was a mystery to Tzadok, but his uncle seemed thrilled. “Did I show you?”
“I thought she was ‘your guest.’” Tzadok shot back. “Isn’t that what you’ve been saying all this time? And being a ‘guest’ is not supposed to include…” He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head forward, as Tandy had done when discussing something she didn’t want to actually name.
“Include what?” Kobb asked in confusion. “I don’t understand what your eyebrows are doing right now. Are you having some sort of fit or spasm? Do you need to sit down?”
“It means ‘blowjob’!” Tzadok snapped. “It’s not supposed to include your enemies sucking you off!”
“Oh.” Kobb processed that for a moment. “And doing that with your eyebrows always means that, does it?” He looked puzzled. “I don’t understand what that has to do with the act itself.”
“I don’t know!” Tzadok snapped. “Ask Tandy!”
“Tandy gives you oral sex with her eyebrows!?!” Kobb looked absolutely horrified but also confused and vaguely curious. “How the fuck does that work!?!” He looked over his shoulder at Violet for a ruling. “Vi?”
She asked for a clarification in her own language, gesturing to her face with her hand.
“No, not on her face, he means with her eyebrows.” Kobb corrected.
“Never seen that.” The girl looked puzzled, then shrugged. “Willing to give it a shot with you though.” She offered in broken Wastelandi. “What the hell.”
The room fell into silence once again.
“Okay, well, thanks for stopping by, Nephew,” Kobb instantly decided, ushering Tzadok towards the door, “we’ll talk in the morning, yes?”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Tzadok planted his feet, refusing to leave.
Violet began drumming her fingers impatiently. Speaking in rapid Gallandish, obviously pissed off about being interrupted and impatient to get back at it.
Kobb turned to look at her apologetically. “Well, obviously I’m even more eager than you are, Flower. But he won’t leave! What do you want me to do?”
The girl’s eyes narrowed and she said something in a clipped tone.
Kobb shook his head. “I… I don’t really want to kill him.” He paused for a beat. “…At least not yet.”
“I just don’t understand what is happening.” Tzadok insisted. “I leave for a day, and when I come back, everyone has gone insane!”
“If you’re nice to people, they’ll be nice to you.” Kobb smiled in contentment. “That is Chox’s way.”
“Yeah, but usually when people say that, they mean their enemies will be ‘nice’ as in ‘respectful,’ not ‘nice’ as in ‘choking them with your cock.’” Tzadok snapped.
Kobb’s expression darkened, obviously unhappy that Tzadok had insulted the girl. “You know, I thought I was happy before. I really did. But then I met Violet. And it was like a man who had been looking at a teacup of water and saying ‘Wow! It’s so vast!’ and then turning around to see the ocean for the first time. My entire idea of what happiness and love are have been completely altered. I’ve been shown what they really mean.” He pointed at her. “That girl is… colors without name and sunshine without cloud. A dream I never want to wake from.”
“Yeah, asshole nephew gets out of here… definite eyebrow thing.” Violet decided in horrible Wastelandi. “Doesn’t know what it is or how it work, but going for it after that speech, husband.”
“HUSBAND!?!” Tzadok gasped. “What the fuck!?!”
“I finally see why the first decades of my life were utterly miserable.” Kobb explained. “Why I felt nothing but hate and self-loathing. Why I couldn’t find happiness or contentment anywhere, just death and pain.” He pointed at Violet. “Because she hadn’t been born yet! My heart didn’t even exist. I was incomplete, stumbling around without the possibility of better things. My spirit knew the world was dark and empty, because Violet wasn’t there. But once she arrived, I almost immediately was able to rise to my responsibilities with you and I gained the strength to become the man I was always supposed to be. Because now my soul had hope.”
It was amazing the way his uncle was able to so seamlessly weave the crazy foreign girl into his conception of the universe.
Utter horseshit in Tzadok’s opinion, but amazing.
“If you want a woman, I will find you a woman. A better woman. I recognize that she presents you a target of opportunity, but…” He held out his hands. “But she’s so mean.”
“I love her, Nephew. As she is. Completely. I don’t want any other woman and never will. If you recall, I never have.”
“She’s a maniac! She’s destroyed half the village and has given you several permanent scars! I consider it mere luck that you’ve survived this long!”
“Every time I look at her, I think about how lucky I am too.”
“No, seriously, did you drug her or something?” Tzadok asked. “Is that why she’s being so nice to you now?”
Kobb laughed in amusement over the idea.
Violet frowned and asked him something in her language.
Kobb explained the situation.
She let out a high-pitched bark of delight, then slapped her hand across her mouth in embarrassment.
Kobb turned back to him. “Violet thinks you’re funny.” He smiled broadly. “Doesn’t she have a pretty laugh?”
“Enchanting.” Tzadok deadpanned.
“You don’t understand it, do you.” Kobb told him. It wasn’t a question.
“No! I don’t!” Tzadok agreed. “I mean, I can understand why you’d want to have some fun for once but…”
“Not that.” Kobb waved off the idea. “I mean you don’t understand Keeper of Heart. Even yet. Even after finding your own, you still don’t get it. How interesting.”
“I understand it just fine, Uncle.”
“No, you don’t.” Kobb shook his head. “Do you want me to explain it to you? Do you want to know what it really means? Watch.” He
gently ran his fingertip over his own neck, just barely touching his skin.
On the other side of the room, Violet absently scratched at her neck in the same spot, without turning around to see what Kobb was doing.
Kobb clapped his hands together and pointed. “That’s what it is, Nephew. It is an unspoken connection with someone, because they are your soul. They are the part of you that you’ve been missing.” He crossed his arms over his chest, believing his point made. “It’s not a question of how long you’ve known the person, it’s a question of quite literally being connected to that person. They are you, and you can’t deny that any more than your right hand could deny your left. That is what it is when Chox gives you a Keeper of Heart.”
“I’m glad you think you love her.” Tzadok started, trying to hold his temper and be reasonable about this. “But I think you’re a lot more serious about this than she is. She’s just using you, Uncle. The girl is evil.”
“Thanks, Tzadok. I appreciate that vote of confidence in my worth as a man.”
“Oh, you know what I mean.” Tzadok snorted. “That’s not an insult, it’s simply…”
“Do you want to hear my thoughts on your relationship?” Kobb offered. “Or is it that you just think I’m too much of a fool to manage my own life?”
“Greenie is crazy repressed idiot and Tzadok is violent lusty moron.” Violet added for him. “Not love, just compatibility of bodies and boredom.”
Kobb laughed in enchantment, enjoying his bride’s ideas. “Isn’t she great?”
“No.” Tzadok shook his head. “At all.”
“She has those little dimple things above her ass.” Kobb thought aloud. “What are those called? Do you know? I don’t, but I find them so adorable and sexy.”
Tzadok just continued to stare at him silently.
“Well, no matter.” Kobb shrugged. “In either case, Tamsen found me the right woman, so I don’t care to hear your negativity.”
Tzadok held up his hand to halt the insanity. “Now you’re saying that my mother sent you this crazy woman?”
“It would certainly explain a lot, wouldn’t it?” Kobb challenged. “I think she got to the Land of Ghosts and picked me the woman who would cause me the most trouble. One who’s mouthy and impatient and younger than I’ve ever been in my life. But one who is capable of loving someone beyond anything I’ve ever seen. And just because my sister had a cruel streak, she picked one I’d have to wait a couple of extra years to make mine.” He nodded. “Yes. I believe she wrecked my sad excuse for a life and replaced it with something perfect. I wasn’t a good brother. But Tamsen gave me you and she gave me Violet. So I owe that mean crazy bitch more than I can ever say.”
Violet tapped her heart. “Violet belongs to Kobb.” She pointed at his uncle indignantly. “Kobb belongs to Violet.” She clasped her hands together to show their union. “Keeper of Heart.”
Tzadok arched a dubious eyebrow.
Her eyes blazed, hands fisting at her sides in utter fury as she interpreted Tzadok’s unspoken implication. “Violet. Not. Whore.” She growled out dangerously.
“He didn’t say you were a whore, Vi.” Kobb soothed.
“Sounded like ‘whore.’” She angrily snapped at him, getting to her feet. “’Sex, not love. Just needs place to stay. Bored stupid Violet. Whore.’” She charged at Tzadok in anger. “NOT WHORE!”
Kobb caught her before she could continue the attack and carried her away from Tzadok. “Easy, Vi.” He whispered several things to her in comfort and gently placed her back on her feet. He put his hand on her cheek. “It’s okay… Calm down…” He started talking softly in her language.
She placed her hand over his, looking up at him. “Mother was whore. Sisters.” She said, her voice breaking in emotion. “But no one touches Violet unless Violet loves person and person loves Violet. Not without fight. Violet not meat. Violet not for sale.” She shook her head to drive the point home for Kobb, eyes welling. “Violet grew up among whores. But never Violet.”
“I know.” Kobb kissed the top of her head and nodded like it was a matter they had discussed before. “But I love you unconditionally, understand?”
She nodded her head, wiping at her eyes.
Fuck.
She loved him. Even Tzadok could see that.
Fuuuuuuuck…
“Good.” Kobb turned to glare at Tzadok. “And I’m sure Tzadok is sorry. He’s just being overprotective and worried that I might be taking this more seriously than you are and he’s worried I’ll get hurt.” He paused. “He’s very young.”
“Violet no hurt Kobb!” She shouted at Tzadok indignantly. Then paused. “…lately.” Her hands fisted in rage again, insulted that Tzadok would question her feelings. “Greenie love Tzadok?” She challenged. “Or is Tzadok just whore!?! Bored, stupid, whorish Tzadok!”
Dammit.
The psycho had a point.
Tandrea was his. And he would not be happy if anyone questioned him about the validity of his feelings.
Shit. He hated it that the crazy girl was right. Particularly since if she was right, that would mean that Tzadok was wrong. And being wrong about this was very, very dangerous…
Kobb crossed his arms over his chest and stared at him, eyes hard. “Tzadok.”
Tzadok winced. His uncle only used his given name when he was particularly upset with him. In this case, it was because Tzadok had insulted the man’s Keeper of Heart. In front of him. Tzadok had made her cry.
The only thing keeping Tzadok alive at the moment was the fact his uncle loved him. And even then it was touch and go in this situation.
Tzadok didn’t want to risk it, instantly putting up his hands and taking a step back to avoid a confrontation. “I’m sorry. You’re right.” He shook his head, trying more of Tandy’s diplomacy before his uncle split his skull where he stood. “That was out of line. I’m just upset… and surprised.” Tzadok bowed his head to her, still hoping that some angel or demon would miraculously appear to extricate his uncle from the woman’s clutches. “I… I shouldn’t have insinuated you were lying.”
“Violet is touched.” She deadpanned. “How beautiful.”
Tzadok watched her silently for a moment, considering the matter.
She stared back.
“You love my uncle.” Tzadok stated.
“Yes.” She nodded.
“So do I.” He extended his arm. “Welcome to the family.” He shook her hand, then paused seriously. “Please try not to kill him, okay? I’m kind of attached to him.”
“You’re a good man, Tzadok.” Kobb praised, patting him on the back as Tzadok started towards the door.
Tzadok shrugged. “Well, I had a good parent.”
“I doubt your mother would have done that, actually.”
“Didn’t mean her.” He turned back to the girl. “Deserve him.” He told her simply. “He’s better than both of us.”
“Much better than you.” She agreed.
Tzadok snorted in laughter and left the hut. Tandrea was standing a short distance away, apparently roused by the loud voices.
“Is everything okay?” She asked, sounding concerned. “Did you talk with Kobb about the Canyon People?”
“I’ll tell him tomorrow.” Tzadok hedged. “He’s busy with Violet right now.”
“Their friendship is really beautiful.” Tandy decided, walking after him. “I’m proud of the way they’ve built such a strong platonic bond.”
“Platonic except for all the fucking, anyway.” Tzadok snorted.
“I think they’re…” Tandy trailed off, doing a double-take. “Wait… what!?!”
****
Kobb stood and watched the door his nephew had just disappeared through, feeling good about the conversation.
The lad really was getting better at dealing with people. Kobb credited Tandy with that. Not that his nephew hadn’t said some utterly stupid things tonight, just that he’d been big enough to recognize them.
Yes, all told
, Kobb was happy with the way things were going. He’d found his Keeper of Heart and his nephew was really growing emotionally. Tzadok was becoming a true leader.
For her part though, Violet still looked upset.
“I am not a whore.” She reiterated, just in case Kobb had any lingering doubts. “And I am certainly not a child, any more than Tzadok is.” She snorted. “I mean, do we give him shit because he’s younger than Tandy?”
Kobb frowned in surprise. “He is?”
“A couple years, yeah.” Violet shrugged. “So?”
“Really?” Kobb pressed. “You know this for a fact?”
“It’s beside the point, so I don’t know why you…”
“Does he know this?” Kobb grinned, trying not to squeal in delighted but shameful glee. “Can I be the one to tell him? Because I don’t think I possess the strength to not tease him about this.”
“The point is…”
“Oh, by Chox, when Xiphos hears of this, he’s going to…”
She rolled her eyes. “My point is that there is an age gap between us. But I don’t give a shit about that, and neither should you. I am a woman who goes after what I want.” She wrapped her arms around him. “And I want you. For no other reason than the fact that you’re amazing and you make me happy. I love you, Kobb. So don’t you dare be embarrassed of us.”
“I’m not embarrassed of us.” He shook his head. “I just…”
“You’re looking for a way to feel bad about yourself because that’s what you do. You don’t feel right unless you’re miserable.” She ran her hand across his chest. “You’re allowed to love me. I swear to you, on my god and yours, your conscience and honor are clear, okay?”
He nodded. “Even if being with you were the height of dishonor, my nephew never approved, and Chox himself materialized to tell me to stay away from you… I’d still take you.” He informed her, meeting her eyes. “You are mine.”
She smiled, obviously liking that answer. She walked away from him a few steps, then shrugged off her robe to expose her rear. “I’m yours.” She agreed.
The woman was firm in the places a warrior should be firm, and voluptuously soft in the places a woman should be voluptuously soft.
Captive of a Fairytale Barbarian Page 45
