Worth the Fall

by Mara Jacobs

  A few seconds in, Katie held up a hand for her to stop. “Let’s just say it was a rhetorical question.”

  Right. Of course. Nobody really wanted to hear about the things that were fascinating to Alison. They wanted to talk about sports, movies, and Nirvana, apparently.

  She rubbed her hands on her khaki shorts, suddenly more nervous than before about the thought of seeing Petey again.

  Who was she kidding? He would never go for a girl like her for anything more than a one-night stand. Just a warm body to nicely pass the evening with.

  Still hopeful, she decided to waive judgment until he showed up. Maybe, just maybe, he was more than the dumb jock everybody thought he was and could see her for more than just the class brain.

  God, she hoped so.

  Katie’s boyfriend showed up next, and they cuddled together not far from where Alison sat. Curtis was his name, he was from Houghton and was on the hockey team with Petey.

  He seemed to like Nirvana just fine. Or at least he told Katie he did.

  Zeke, Lizzie’s twin, came down the stairs next, leading a girl by the hand. Valerie, a sophomore from Calumet that Zeke had been dating for a year. Tiny little thing, even shorter than Alison. They said their hellos and plopped down in the La-Z-Boy that was adjacent to the sectional. Zeke sat down first, then he pulled Val onto his lap.

  “Let’s start the flick,” he said, his hands already up the back of Val’s shirt. They would soon be up the front of her shirt when the lights went out and the movie began.

  Great. It was shaping up to be a couples’ night and there she sat in the corner of the couch alone.

  And apparently no Petey.

  “Isn’t Lizzie with you?” she asked Zeke.

  “She’s coming, she and Petey.”

  “They’re together?” she asked a little too quickly.

  Zeke pulled his face out of Val’s neck long enough to answer, “Outside. She came with us, and Petey pulled up at the same time. There’s something weird going on with them. They huddled together pretty quickly and just stayed out there talking.” He then poked his head all the way around Val. “They’re not back together are they? It was okay the first time, but now? I don’t know. It would feel weird. Verging on creepy.”

  Creepy? Try shattering. She’d faked not liking Petey well enough when Lizzie had been dating him, but now? After she and Petey had…but wait. “Isn’t Lizzie dating that guy Finn?” she asked anyone who had the right answer.

  “Not any more. I’m not really sure what happened or when, but that’s off,” Zeke said.

  Alison looked at Katie. “Did you know that?”

  Katie shook her head. “No. It must have happened fairly recently. But you know, it’s been a few days since I’ve actually talked to Lizzie. And she’s back with Petey already? Fast worker.”

  “We don’t know that she and Petey are back together,” Alison said, hoping that the panic she was beginning to feel wasn’t heard in her voice.

  Just then, the door at the top of the stairwell opened and Lizzie and Petey descended. Petey’s hand was on Lizzie’s shoulder and, when his face became visible, the look on his face as he looked at the back of Lizzie’s head sent a shiver of dread through Alison.

  Affection. There was so much affection there. She craned her neck forward over the back of the couch to see more closely. To see if it was “best buddy” affection or “I finally got my girl back” affection. She couldn’t tell for sure. As they both reached the bottom of the steps, Lizzie turned to Petey and put her arms around his waist, hugging him and saying something to him which Alison couldn’t hear. He hugged her back, and a strange look came over his face.

  Lizzie leaned up, kissed Petey on the cheek, patted his chest and then moved into the sitting area greeting everyone with her usual smile and cheer.

  Still. It could be nothing. Alison wasn’t going to jump to conclusions.

  She’d wait and see where Petey sat. There was a seat next to her, and another on the other side of Katie and Curtis, next to Lizzie.

  He rounded the corner slowly, looking in her direction. She sat and watched him, willing him to come her way, but not daring to say a word. Finally he said, “What’s up, all? Let’s get this flick rolling so Zeke can start feeling up Val,” and plopped down on the sectional.

  Next to Lizzie.

  Alison stared at him, becoming more and more pissed off. Not sure if she was pissed at Petey or herself.

  He stared back at her for a moment. She couldn’t read his look, and then he looked away.

  Definitely more pissed at him.

  “What’s on the bill tonight?” he asked. Before Katie could answer him, Alison said, “We wanted to get the foreign film everybody’s talking about, but it was subtitled.”

  “So?”

  “Well, that would involve reading, and we knew you were going to be here, so.…”

  Everyone laughed at her joke.

  Everyone but Petey.

  ***

  Well. Petey guessed that jab from Alison settled that.

  Fuck.

  He’d been so excited to see her tonight, could hardly wait to get to Katie’s for their first official night of being…them…in front of their friends.

  But Lizzie had grabbed him as they were entering the house to be her sounding board about her being dumped by some loser named Finn who obviously didn’t know a good thing when it stood right in front of him.

  He’d given Lizzie a bit of a pep talk. He’d never really seen her down and it kind of threw him. She was the one who gave out the pep talks. Still, he tried his best, and soon she was nodding along with him and saying things like, “You’re right. It’s nothing. I’m going to State in two months. I’ll never even think about him again.”

  Petey was nodding, but the thought of the girls—okay, Alison—heading off to State so soon had him regretting the two weeks he’d spent at hockey camp.

  He should have called her before he left and locked things down, but she’d been in Green Bay with the girls and he didn’t know how to get ahold of them.

  “Okay,” he’d said to Lizzie. “Let’s go on in. It’s just us guys, right? Not a big group?”

  Lizzie nodded as she moved toward the house. “Yep, just us.”

  “But Alison?” he said wanting to make sure.

  “Yep, Al’s here,” she said pointing to a little car across the street.

  “That new?”

  “Yep, she got it for graduation.”

  “Ended up being quite a night, graduation,” Petey said with humor in his voice.

  This was good. He and Lizzie could get any awkwardness about Alison and him—not that he thought there would be much, if any—out of the way before going in.

  “I guess. But she got the car the next day, not graduation day.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” he said pointedly.

  Lizzie looked at him with puzzlement. “What are you talking about?”

  “You know. Graduation night…Alison.…”

  “What? What do you think you—oh my God! Did she leave the party with somebody?” She grabbed the front of his shirt. “Who? You have to tell me.”

  He shook his head, confused.

  “Petey,” she whined, still holding on to his shirt. “Tell me.”

  “She didn’t tell you?”

  “No, she never said a word. Who was it?”

  He just stood there, slowly shaking his head, trying not too read to much into the fact that Alison hadn’t told her two best friends—who told each other everything—that she’d lost her virginity.

  Even when they’d spent the following three days together in Green Bay, with presumably lots of girl talk.

  Why?

  “Let’s see…” Lizzie was saying to herself. “Who was still there when I left? Who would she have made out with but been too embarrassed to tell us about?”

  Bingo.

  His worst fear—that Alison would be embarrassed she’d slept with a dumb jock li
ke him—seemed to be coming true.

  He’d had to repeat third grade, making him a year older than all his classmates. It had helped him with hockey, developing earlier than every other by, but he’d never been able to shake that feeling of inferiority. At least when it came to books and grades.

  The things Alison excelled at.

  He’d barely made the grades to get into Tech. Coach had said they’d have tutors available to help him, and of course he wouldn’t be taking the courses most of the engineering-geared students would be taking. But it still weighed on him—whether he’d make it through four more years of school.

  They walked into the house and to the basement, Petey still in a daze. They started down the stairs and he saw Lizzie take a deep breath, as if bracing herself. Shit, she was hurting, too. And she was such a great person.

  He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed while they made their way down the stairs. At the bottom she turned to him and gave him a hug.

  “Thanks for listening, Petey. Not bad for a hockey player.” She meant it as a tease and even kissed him on the cheek after she said it, but it rubbed him the wrong way.

  Lizzie made her way to the large connected couches and sat at one end. Petey followed her, his gaze searching out Alison, who was seated at the opposite end.

  A smile. One meaningful look or a pat on the empty seat next to her. God, give him something to go on so he didn’t make a fool out of himself.

  But she gave him nothing, and so he sat next to Lizzie.

  Alison did look at him, with cool brown eyes. Not anything like the night they’d lit up with desire.

  He looked away, not able to bear that she’d looked at him so unfeelingly, as if the best night of his life had been nothing more to her than ridding herself of her pesky virginity before heading off to college.

  He then asked about the movie, afraid his voice would give him away.

  And then, bam, she hit him with the illiterate zinger and everyone was laughing with her.

  Except him.

  Twelve

  Love and work…work and love, that’s all there is.

  ~ Sigmund Freud

  Alison spent the rest of the day and evening in her usual routine, but it was far from ordinary.

  The time she normally spent with her mother was today spent with Sherry, their mother, and Alison going to the Ridges senior assisted-living facility and finalizing paperwork. They were allowed to get the keys of the tiny apartment her parents would soon be moving to.

  Alison had made the choice to get the unfurnished option and have as many of her parents’ belongings moved in as would fit to try to add some familiarity.

  That had been a hard day. Realizing there was no reason not to move her parents’ furniture and personal belongings into this place. That they wouldn’t be returning home once they moved here.

  Just like today was a hard day, seeing what would be her mother’s and father’s new home.

  Their last home.

  Sherry seemed to be taking it much more in stride than Alison.

  “I had no idea it was this bad, Al,” she said while their mother was checking out the bathroom. “They really should have been in here months ago. I wish you’d kept us better informed.”

  “I called you and Janis once a week and sent several emails between calls. I don’t know how much better informed I could have kept you.”

  Sherry seemed not to hear her as she opened the bare cupboards of the kitchen.

  “God, there’s hardly any cabinet space in this place. Though I suppose she won’t be cooking much.”

  “She has the option, if she’d like too, but they’ll also have the full meal plan, so they can easily walk down the hall and eat, or even just pick up the phone and have something sent to their rooms.” She’d gone over the different plans with the housing director for hours, making sure the best option was available. “And if they don’t come to meals, somebody checks on them later to make sure they did eat and didn’t…you know.…”

  Sherry looked at her with a blank stare. “Leave a burner on. Or a dishcloth near it. Or the sink running full blast. Anything like that.”

  “Don’t you think you’re being dramatic?” Sherry asked, then continued to poke around the room.

  “No, Sherry, not at all. Those are very real possibilities when dealing with dementia.”

  She saw Sherry’s back stiffen at the word. She’d never sugar-coated it with her sisters had told them exactly what the doctors had said. She had, of course, added her own opinions, limited in this field as they were.

  Sherry looked in the empty fridge and oven, and then turned around to face Alison. “Okay. So, we get them in here soon. This week if we can. Do you know some movers that we can use?”

  Alison nodded. “I’ve already hired the moving company. They’re ready when we are. I’ve measured and figured out what pieces should come here. I packed a bag with some of Dad’s belongings and already took it to my place.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “I didn’t want Mom to see it and be confused.”

  Sherry was shaking her head. “You should have done this a lot sooner, Alison.”

  “It wasn’t necessary before. And we all agreed they’d stay in the house until it became non-viable.”

  Sherry turned away from her, toward the living area. “And then we’ll put the house up for sale? We might still be able to do that while I’m here if we get them moved in this week.”

  Alison hadn’t thought they’d sell it quite so soon after her parents had vacated, but there was no reason not to. With Sherry here to help clean it out and get it ready to show, she might as well.

  “Yes, we can do that.”

  The back of Sherry’s head nodded, and she took a step further from Alison.

  All her years of studying patients’ body language had Alison guessing what was coming next.

  “And the cabin? We’ll put that on the market after that? Or do them at the same time?”

  Yep. She’d seen that one coming a mile away. Had actually been prepared for it since Sherry announced she’d be visiting and able to stay for so long.

  Alison took her time walking to where Sherry stood looking out the window. The view overlooked the little park area that the residents used. It wasn’t as spectacular as looking at the lake, but it was nice and scenic. There were benches and even a gazebo, though of course they were all covered with snow.

  She stepped around Sherry and turned back to face her. She waited until Sherry met her eyes and then put on her best soothing, reasoning voice. “No, Sherry. You know that isn’t what was decided. I’m going to keep the cottage. It’s my home now. We all talked about this ten years ago. We all agreed.”

  Sherry had the decency to look guilty, but blustered on. “Things are different now.”

  The cottage was different, that’s for sure. It had been a ramshackle mess ten years ago when Alison had talked her parents into letting her fix it up.

  They all decided then that Alison would get the cottage when her parents passed and Sherry and Janis would get the house.

  Alison had spent the next ten years pouring hard work and her own money into the cottage, making it the cozy, stylish, shabby-chic place it now was.

  So of course now Sherry and Janis wanted it back on the table.

  Not going to happen.

  “We have it all written down, Sherry. Mom and Dad’s wishes on their care. Who gets what. Everything.”

  They’d done it just to avoid a situation like this.

  And Sherry must have known it too, because she let it drop pretty quickly.

  And even though she kept her calm, cool appearance up through the rest of the afternoon, and throughout her evening visit with her father, by the time Alison got home to her beloved cottage, she felt like she’d been pulled in eighty different directions.

  ***

  Petey heard the garage door open, the car pull in and then the door go back down again. But no Alison appea
red through the door. And he was sitting at the kitchen table facing it, waiting for her. After what seemed like an hour, he reached for his crutches to go check on her when the door finally opened and in she walked, bundled in that red coat. Jeans and Uggs sticking out beneath the hem.

  Always tiny, she looked even smaller tonight as she unwrapped herself from her coat, scarf, gloves, and hat.

  Her short hair followed the knit hat up with static, then finally fell into its slick, short ‘do.

  He’d been ready to spar, ready to pounce, but looking at her he felt that it’d be an unfair fight, like she had one hand tied behind her back.

  The thought of binding her was a nice one, and something he’d pull out later and fantasize about. For now though, he just softly said, “Did you eat any dinner?”

  Her body relaxed a little and he realized she’d been on guard, expecting him to spar.

  She shook her head. “No, not yet. I thought I might nuke some of your mom’s casserole. Can I get you some?”

  “No, thanks. My parents came over this afternoon bearing even more culinary delights.”

  “So you ate with them?”

  “Yep.”

  She sat down at the table with him. Then she got back up and poured herself a glass of red wine. She motioned the glass to him, asking if he wanted any. He held up his beer bottle in answer. She sat back down and took a fairly large gulp from her glass.

  “How’d that go? With your father, I mean.”

  He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Good, they were going to do normal. He could do normal with her. It didn’t always have to be bob and weave.

  “Actually, not too bad. Darío had helped me this morning, so my dad didn’t have to, which probably helped. It was just a nice family dinner.” He paused and took a swig from his beer. “In which no one mentioned the word hockey.”

  Alison laughed. She had the cutest little laugh, breathy and light, like it always surprised her when it came out and she had to suck it back in.