The Daddy Dilemma

by Tia Siren

“I’m not putting money into a place I don’t even live. Anna comes and goes, but none of us live here for good. None of us want to live here. I could invest in my own home,” Hank said, irritation in his voice.

  “Hank, this is our home. It’s where we grew up.”

  “So?” Anna interjected. “We grew up here. We don’t live here now. It’s just a house.”

  Leslie had my back. “It isn’t just a house. If you remember, Dad lives here. What are you suggesting, that we throw him out on the street? Or is he moving in with one of you?” She looked at Anna and Hank.

  “Uh, he is right here and can make his own decisions about where he lives,” my dad said in a weak voice.

  We all looked at him but went back to our own bickering.

  “What about what I want?” Dad said again in a much firmer tone.

  Leslie waved a hand at him. “We’re going to take care of you, Dad. Don’t worry about it.”

  I watched as he shook his head and walked out of the living room. He walked out on the porch and watched the kids for a moment before he made his way to where Jasper was playing in the dirt. Dad dropped to his knees beside him and chatted away, Jasper holding up a rock now and again. It warmed my heart to see them bonding.

  I wanted Jasper to have these memories on the farm with my dad and his cousins. I wanted him to know the love of a big family. I could see us coming home for Christmas and summer vacations. I couldn’t imagine not having the farm to escape to. Even though I had made a good home for myself in New York, I always knew in the back of my mind that if things got really bad, I had a backup plan.

  “How did it get this bad?” I asked, aware that Hank, Anna, and Leslie were right here. Why had they let things get so out of control?

  “What do you mean?” Hank asked.

  “All of you live here. Did none of you come by and check on Dad? I mean, how could you not know that he was in serious financial trouble?”

  Anna scoffed. “There she goes again, back up on her high horse.”

  I stood and faced them, my hands on my hips. “I don’t understand why we are in this position today. Why are we having to decide whether or not to save the farm?”

  “We have lives, Ash,” Leslie said. “We have our own homes to tend to, our own bills and our own kids that keep us busy.”

  “What about you?” I turned to Anna. “You live here, right?”

  She shrugged. “I stay here on occasion, but I don’t think I actually live here.”

  “That’s a cop-out!”

  “Ashley, Dad doesn’t exactly tell us what’s going on,” Hank added. “He’s a grown man. I wouldn’t want my kids or any of you meddling in my affairs.”

  I rolled my eyes, “Hank, this is completely different. Dad has been battling cancer. How’d you think he was paying the bills?”

  He shrugged. “It wasn’t something I considered. He never said he was having financial trouble.”

  I turned to my oldest sister. “Leslie, you called and told me I had to come home because Dad was in real trouble. What exactly am I supposed to do? You all live right here and none of you could do a damn thing. How is it that it falls on me?” I asked, suddenly feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

  Everyone started talking at once, everyone blaming each other. No one knew and no one had bothered to ask. I didn’t care to hear what they had to say. The little meeting had been completely unproductive. If this was to be my last time at the farm, I wanted to enjoy it instead of arguing with my sisters and brother.

  The problem felt like it was mine. If it was mine, then fine. I would deal with it, but I wasn’t going to waste another minute inside when I could be outside.

  “I’m done. I am not going to sit here and argue with all of you,” I said, throwing my hands up in the air.

  “Run away. Again. That’s what you do best,” Anna spat out.

  I turned to glare at her. “It’s better if I walk away before things are said that can’t be taken back. I’m here to see Dad, not to sit here and argue about whether or not our family home is worth saving.”

  I headed outside to join Jasper and Dad, leaving my siblings bitching at each other behind me. Leslie called out for me to stop, but I kept going.

  “Hey,” I said, dropping to my knees beside Dad and Jasper. “Sorry about that. We shouldn’t have argued like that, and we definitely should have listened to you.”

  He smiled. “It’s okay. The last thing I want is for all of you to fight. That was never meant to happen.”

  “I know, and we should have behaved better. It’s not about us. It’s about you and what you want.”

  He stared out at the cornfields. “What do you think your mother would say if she saw and heard all that nonsense?”

  I laughed. “Oh, Dad, she would have never allowed any of this to happen. She would have kicked your butt a long time ago.”

  He chuckled. “You’re right. I don’t know what happened, Ashley. I mean I do, but I always figured there would be a way out. My doctor was convinced I wouldn’t need a second round. That’s what really set me back.”

  “I know. It’s okay. We’ll fix this. I promise, I will listen to you and your wishes. But like you said, what would Mom have done, or what would she have wanted?”

  He let out a long sigh. “This,” he said, rubbing Jasper’s head. “She would have wanted her grandkids to know this place. I imagine she would have wanted big family gatherings out here at the farm and the whole nine yards.”

  “Yes, I think you’re right. I’m sure of it. Hey, Dad?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Why haven’t you remarried? Mom’s been gone a long time.”

  He scoffed. “Oh, now, I don’t know. I’ve dated a few women, but none of them were right.”

  I knew exactly what he meant. You never got over your first love. Every person who came after that first love was measured against him or her. I had a feeling my dad was looking for Mom 2.0. He would never find her, just like I had never found Brock 2.0. God, I hoped I didn’t end up alone for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be where my dad was now, facing this horrible crisis alone. Kids didn’t count. He needed a true partner. So did I.

  Chapter 10

  Brock

  No matter what the distractions, I loved where I lived and made it a point to appreciate the natural beauty that surrounded me as often as I could. Today I had decided to hike up to one of my favorite places. It was always so serene and gave me a chance to relax, reflect, and get my head straight in general. The place I was headed to wasn’t necessarily a secret spot, but I liked to think it was. It was my spot, and few people actually knew about it.

  It was a small area, secluded by trees. It was close to the top of the ridge and overlooked the town below. There was a large rock that seemed as if it had been put there by God for people to sit back, relax, and enjoy the glorious view. It was a little off the trail. You had to walk through the trees and brush to reach it, which added to the privacy of the area.

  As I approached the spot, I heard voices.

  Dammit.

  Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who had the idea to spend a Sunday afternoon in the mountains. Down below, the temperatures were soaring. Up here it was a little cooler and far nicer. I debated whether to keep on hiking and find another spot to relax at, but I wanted to see who knew about this little private area.

  I turned the corner and froze. It was Ashley and her son. My son. I stared at them as they sat on the large, flat rock, chatting away. They looked so comfortable together. Watching her talk with her son made me realize she was a really good mom. I didn’t want to disturb them, and I certainly didn’t want to have a run-in with Ashley.

  I turned to leave but didn’t make it very far.

  “Mom! Look! It’s that man that yelled at you,” the boy hollered.

  Great. That was how my son would know me from now on. I was the guy who had yelled at his mommy. There was no turning back now that the kid had seen me. I didn’t
want to be that rude, and I didn’t want Ashley to think she had won by running me off. It wasn’t going to be that easy.

  “Hi,” I said, swallowing my anger and waving at the two of them.

  Ashley stood up from her seat on the rock and stepped in front of her son, as if she were protecting him from me. That pissed me off more, but I wouldn’t let her see it. This was my one chance to get the DNA I needed for testing. I had read a drink from a water bottle would work, as would a piece of gum or a strand of hair, but the hair would have to be plucked from his head with the root intact. I didn’t want to hurt the kid, and I wanted to do this without Ashley knowing. Pulling the boy’s hair would certainly not win me any brownie points.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked in a tone that said she was not happy to see me.

  “I didn’t know you owned the mountain,” I shot back.

  She relaxed her shoulders a bit. “I meant did you follow us?”

  I laughed. “No, Ashley, I didn’t follow you. I hike up here all the time. You’re the one who’s intruding.”

  The little boy stood beside Ashley, looking up at me with rapt interest. I looked at Ashley and then dropped to my knees in front of the boy. She stiffened. Apparently I had her worried. Good.

  “Hi, buddy. What’s your name?” I asked, staring into my son’s eyes.

  “Jasper.”

  I nodded my head. “My name’s Brock. Me and your mom are old friends.”

  Jasper looked me over and must have decided I was safe.

  “What are you doing there?” I asked, pointing to a box on the ground by the rock he had been sitting on.

  His face lit up. “Oh! I was looking for unique rocks,” he said, excitement in his voice.

  I was shocked by his use of the word “unique.” I wasn’t an expert in kid vernacular, but that seemed like a big word for a little guy.

  “Really? Have you found any unique rocks?” I asked, using his word choice.

  He shrugged. “Not really, but I don’t mind collecting more rocks.”

  “Do you collect a lot of rocks?”

  Jasper smiled. “Yep. Wanna see?”

  “I would love to see, Jasper. Thank you.”

  I stood up to see Ashley staring down at us. I could tell she was nervous. Good. I wanted her to be off her game. I walked around her and waited for Jasper to spread his rocks out on the large rock they had just been sitting on. He was enthusiastic as he pointed out the different types of rocks and what the lines meant. The kid was a damn genius!

  When he was finished with his spiel, he turned to look at me. “You have a lot of tattoos,” he said, pointing to my left arm, which was exposed given the tank top I was wearing.

  I shrugged. “I have a few.”

  “Can I see them closer?”

  I could feel Ashley’s eyes on me as I sat on the rock. Jasper crawled up beside me and inspected the artwork on my left arm.

  “I like this one the best,” he said, pointing to the tattoo I had gotten shortly after Ashley had left me. It was a dagger through a heart. It was generic and had been done on a drunken whim. Thankfully, I didn’t have her name on the tat. That would have been embarrassing.

  She stared at the tattoo and then met my eyes. She knew exactly what it meant. She shifted her weight on her feet and turned to look out at the view stretched out below. Jasper grabbed a water bottle from a bag, and I got an idea.

  I needed that water bottle. I would accidentally grab it and toss it in my pack as soon as the kid put it down. Jasper grabbed his box of rocks and began sorting through them. I walked to where Ashley was standing a short distance away, stopping beside her and overlooking the town below.

  “Why did you bring our son to our place, Ashley? Is this meant to be some walk down memory lane for you? Visit one of the many places our son may have been conceived?”

  “Shh!” She glared at me.

  I grinned. “Valid question. Why here?”

  “I haven’t told him,” she hissed. “Please don’t drop that bombshell on him. This is something I need to figure out how to tell him. I brought him here because it’s beautiful. I wanted to show him around the area—just in case we never come back here, seeing as how someone is trying to steal our family’s home,” she spat out.

  “No one is stealing anything and he will definitely be coming back here. I don’t give a shit if you come back. I will see my son and he will visit me here.”

  “Keep your voice down. He doesn’t know about all the drama between us.”

  “Tell him or I will. I want to see him. I want to hang out with my son so I can get to know him,” I whispered. “He deserves to know he has a father that wants him.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It isn’t quite that easy. I can’t just drop that kind of a bombshell and expect him to take it in stride.”

  “You should have thought about that before you kept him from me. Hasn’t he asked who his dad is?” I asked, fighting back a fresh wave of anger at her deception. “Doesn’t he wonder why he doesn’t have a dad? He seems like a smart kid, and I have a feeling he would ask questions.”

  She shrugged. “Yes, but he knows his father isn’t around.”

  “I am too!” I boomed.

  “Shh! Keep your voice down or this is never going to happen!”

  Glaring at her, I barked back, “Yes, it is. You aren’t running the show here, Ashley. I have rights.”

  “Only if I say you do.”

  I scoffed. “No. You are not the queen bee here, Ash. The judge gets to decide. You better sit back and get ready for what I promise is going to be a very rough ride if you keep this up.”

  I turned away, looking for that water bottle so I could grab it and get the hell away from her. Before walking away, I turned back to look at her. “Why? Why would you not tell me about our child?”

  I asked the question in a soft tone. I was a little ashamed at how raw it sounded, showing my vulnerability, but it was a question I’d asked myself over and over. I couldn’t understand why. She didn’t have to be with me, but why take my son away?

  Tears welled up in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she choked out. “I don’t have a good reason.”

  I knew the pain in her eyes reflected my own. It was a tragic story. One silly choice had set us on this collision course of pain. It was her choice. I was never given a say, and that was what killed me inside.

  I stared at her, trying to understand, but I knew there would never be a better answer, never be a real reason behind her actions, because there wasn’t one. It was in the past. All I could do was hope the future was better.

  “Thanks for showing me your rocks, Jasper. I’m going to go now. Maybe I’ll see you later,” I told him before looking over my shoulder to catch Ashley glaring at me.

  Glaring back at her, I quickly turned at the sound of his voice.

  “It was nice to meet you,” he said. “When I get more rocks, I’ll show them to you.”

  “I would really like that. Maybe I’ll see you in a couple days,” I told him, turning to watch Ashley’s reaction.

  She was practically chopping me up with the little daggers she was shooting out of her eyes. I grinned at her, knowing it would piss her off. She turned back around, and with her back to me, I made my move. I snatched up the kid’s water bottle without him noticing and stashed it in my knapsack before waving and heading back down the trail.

  The walk back to my truck felt too long. I wanted to put some distance between myself and Ashley. She had a funny way of making my world feel a little off-kilter. As I walked, I thought about Jasper. I couldn’t believe how smart he was or how much he looked like me. The water bottle would prove he was mine and then I could sue her for custody. I didn’t want to take him from her, but I was sure as hell going to know my son.

  She wasn’t going to keep him away from me and in New York. No way. I would have a relationship with him. He would visit me at my house on weekends. I knew any judge would have to be sympathetic to my pligh
t. The woman had run away with my child without giving me a chance to be a part of his life. That had to work in my favor.

  The DNA test kit should arrive tomorrow. I would overnight it to the lab, and hopefully I would know for sure that Jasper was mine by the end of the week. I was paying a ridiculous amount of money to get the results in two days. My lawyer was on standby, ready to file the paperwork. Ashley better hold on to her hat. I was coming for her.

  Chapter 11

  Ashley

  I had created the drama. I had no one to blame but myself for my current situation. I didn’t know what I was thinking when I’d chosen to keep Jasper from Brock, but I was going to pay the price for my stupid decision. I could feel it. Brock was not the kind of man who made empty threats. He would have his lawyer on me, demanding custody, and I had a horrible feeling there would be little I could do to stop it from happening.

  I didn’t necessarily want to keep my son from his father, but I certainly didn’t want him sharing custody. We weren’t there yet. I wanted them to know each other, but the Brock I remembered couldn’t be trusted to take care of a houseplant, let alone a kid.

  I needed help. Janna was always the one I went to when I was in over my head, and right now I was in very deep.

  “Hi!” I said with fake cheeriness in my voice when she picked up the phone.

  “What’s wrong? Is your dad okay?” she asked, knowing me too well.

  “Yes. I mean no, but I’m hoping he will be. This is about Jasper,” I said.

  “What happened!?” she screeched into the phone.

  I took a deep breath. “He met his dad. His dad wants to get lawyers involved and everything is a mess. You have to come and help me,” I begged. “I need your business savvy to figure out this mortgage stuff with my dad, too.”

  Janna was savvy when it came to business. She could crunch numbers and find solutions that were impossible for others to see. Plus, I needed her. I felt like I was drowning and needed a friendly face to pull me out of the sea of turmoil I had been dropped in.

  “Well, considering my photographer is on vacation and I just wrapped up that deal in Paris, I think I deserve a few days off. I can be there this afternoon.”